Blackwood Farm Part 27

" 'I didn't do this to myself,' I said. 'I'm not insane. You won't find any lesions in my temporal lobe. Mark my word. I'm miserable right now, but I'm not crazy.'

"He looked at me intently and for a long moment, and then he said, 'They told me you were eighteen, is that right?'

" 'Just about nineteen,' I said. 'Does eighteen and a half mean anything?'

"He smiled. 'Yes, I suppose it does,' he said. 'We won't be looking for seizures or lesions now. We're looking for bleeding from the wound that's causing your headache. We're going to be waking you up if you fall asleep. Now I'm going to get out of the way, and I'll see you after the CAT scan.'

" 'You're a neurosurgeon, right?' I said. I wanted to hold on to him. 'Well, I swear to you that what I saw didn't come from my brain and I don't want you to cut a piece out of it. I'd rather rave in a padded cell than have that happen.'

"Two orderlies, or at least that's what I thought they were, had come to take me away, but he gestured for them to wait.

" 'Tell me yourself,' he said, 'what happened to you.'

" 'This stranger, this man who'd been trespa.s.sing on a swamp hermitage on our property --he got into my bedroom in spite of the guards around our house, and he dragged me out of bed, pulled me 150.

into the bathroom, banged my head against the wall and cursed at me and threatened me.'

"I stopped. I didn't want to tell him about Goblin. Some deep instinct told me not to tell him about Goblin. But that instinct didn't stop me from silently summoning Goblin, and, quite suddenly, Goblin stood at the foot of the gurney, still looking extremely solid and vividly colored, which was amazing after his ordeal, and he shook his head in a firm negation.

" 'There was broken gla.s.s,' I said, 'from the lavatory mirror and the shower door. I think I got a few sc.r.a.pes, nothing more than that.'

" 'How did this intruder drag you from bed?' Dr. Winn asked.

" 'By my arms.'

"Dr. Winn looked at both my arms. They were black and blue now. He studied them thoughtfully.

"Dr. Winn then asked me to lean forward so he could see the back of my head. I did, and I felt his amazingly gentle fingers touching a huge b.u.mp there. His touch sent a tingling all through me.

"Again, Goblin shook his head No. Don't tell him about us. He will hurt me. Don't tell him about us. He will hurt me.

" 'Do you believe me now?' I asked. 'That I didn't do this to myself?'

" 'Oh, yes, I believe you completely,' he said. 'None of your injuries are self-inflicted. For a variety of reasons it's quite impossible for them to have been self-inflicted. But we've got to get that CAT scan.'

"I was immensely relieved.

"The CAT scan was a relatively simple ordeal, which revealed that there was no bleeding inside of my head and that my brain was not swelling, and immediately after Dr. Mayfair confirmed these results I was wheeled to a fairly lavish suite consisting of a living room and two bedrooms. One bedroom was mine. Aunt Queen was setting up shop in the other one. Jasmine, who had gone home for her clothes, was already back but would soon have to leave again.

"I promised to leave the IV alone and to cooperate with everything if the restraints were removed, and Dr. Mayfair agreed to this readily.

" 'There are guards on the door, aren't there?' I asked.

"Aunt Queen confirmed that there were. A uniformed police officer was right down the hall. And Clem was in the parlor.

"I could see that Aunt Queen had been crying. But even more distressing to me was the fact that she still wore her feathered negligee. She hadn't had time to change. I felt bitterly angry and at the same time frightened.

" 'You know, this is a strange situation, my Little Boy,' she said as she came to sit by my bed. (Goblin was hovering in the corner.) 'We have two possible explanations for what happened tonight and either one is monstrous.'

" 'Believe me, there's only one explanation,' I said, 'and this man is a threat!' I then confessed to her how I had burnt the stranger's books and how this had provoked him. 'He's an eccentric, I can vouch for that by the cut of his handsome black clothes and his long hair, but he's strong as an ox, and Goblin gave him a terrific scare. He didn't know what was. .h.i.tting him or where the gla.s.s was coming from.'

"I stopped. I realized I had told her all this in the car. I had told her over and over. Was she listening to me now because Dr. Winn had said my wounds weren't self-inflicted?

"She was deeply troubled. I wanted to be strong for her, not weak, not in a hospital bed. I picked up the small control pad for the bed and cranked it so that I could sit up.

"Dr. Winn came in to take his leave. 'The CAT scan's fine,' he repeated. 'And in the next few days we'll run some more tests. All you have to do, Quinn, is stay in bed. I'll be talking to you later this morning.'

" 'Doctor,' I said, 'would I try your patience if I asked you a question?'

151.

" 'No, not at all, what is it?'

" 'There was a brilliant premed student; a friend of mine. She'd been accepted into a research project here. She died as the result of a traffic accident. I wonder if you knew her.'

"A change came into his calm face that was very eloquent of suffering. 'You're speaking of Lynelle Springer,' he said.

"I.

nodded.

" 'You're the boy she taught, the boy she talked so much about, aren't you?' he asked. 'Of course. Tarquin Blackwood, her pride and joy. She loved you the way she loved her own children.'

"I swallowed. I was about to cry. I hadn't expected this much of an answer. 'Is it true?' I asked, 'that after the accident she never regained consciousness? She never knew how badly she was hurt?'

" 'It's true,' he said. He spoke in a humble voice, a voice that was reverent. 'We had her here for two weeks. Her daughters came. They played tapes for her of music and poetry readings,' he said. 'But she was down too deep and her injuries were too great. Everything was done that could be done, and then she left us.'

"I felt immeasurable relief knowing all this. I felt like some key chapter in my life was finally closed so that it could remain with me in its entirety now without a host of little distractions. I also felt sure this man wouldn't lie to me --ever --about anything.

"Aunt Queen inundated me with kisses and told me she was going to get dressed.

"Fr. Kevin Mayfair came into the room and sat down beside me. Goblin, who still stood solidly at the end of the bed, eyed him suspiciously.

" 'So what do you want me to say?' I asked Fr. Kevin. 'They've probably told you all I told them. They've told you that Goblin rescued me. You know Goblin. Goblin comes to Ma.s.s with me every Sunday.'

" 'Don't be so scared of me, Quinn,' he said, his tone firmer and a little higher in timbre than that of Dr. Winn. 'I'm not the enemy. I'm not here to haul you up before the Spanish Inquisition. Your housekeeper, Ramona, she saw all this flying gla.s.s. If I'd seen it, maybe I'd never doubt Almighty G.o.d again. Maybe the Devil can do that for us.'

" 'It wasn't the Devil in that bathroom,' I said. 'It was an angry man, a tall, good-looking, vain man. He got past the guards and yanked me right out of sleep. And then Goblin, my Goblin' --I looked at him at the foot of the bed and saw him anxiously eyeing Fr. Kevin --'my Goblin, he broke the gla.s.s to drive the man away from me. He sent the gla.s.s flying at the man and the man couldn't see Goblin any more than you can. The man didn't know what was happening. You've got to understand, Goblin isn't from the Devil. There has to be some in-between kind of spirit that's neither devil nor angel. There has to be.'"Fr. Kevin nodded. 'Maybe you're right,' he said, to my surprise. He looked off for a moment in an almost dreamy way, then back to me. I found him distractingly handsome. It wasn't just the true red hair and the green eyes, it was the alert expression and the excellent proportions of his face, the shortness of the nose and the length of his full mouth. His voice was kind.

" 'Two years ago,' he said, 'or maybe less, I wouldn't have believed you. But now? Since coming South I've heard so much of ghosts and family curses that I'm more flexible of mind and disposition.'

He paused. 'But I'll tell you this. Whether they come from the Devil or inside our brains, whether they're ghosts or disembodied beings with no true origin, spirits don't do us any good. I'm sure of it.'

"Goblin was becoming agitated. He was staring at Fr. Kevin with a cold hate.

" 'No, Goblin,' I said. 'Don't do anything, Goblin.' In a sudden fit of alarm, I looked around. There was a mirror above the lavatory. What if he broke it into fragments? He knew he could do this now!

"Goblin, the Learner.

"Goblin looked at me with the strangest smile, as if to say, Don't you think I know better?

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" 'Listen, he's here,' I said to Fr. Kevin. 'You can't see him but he's at the foot of the bed. And it's rude to him to speak in his presence as if he were evil. He isn't evil. How he became attached to me, I don't know. Maybe he was just drifting, drifting and looking for someone who could see him, and then I came along, a child who had the gift. And we made our little brotherhood, him and me. I have no answers. But he saved me tonight. He saved me with an extraordinary show of strength. He broke the gla.s.s, not me, and I don't want him to think for one moment that I am ungrateful.'

"Fr. Kevin studied me intently throughout this speech and then he nodded. 'Well, let's leave it at this. If you need to talk to me, you call me. I've given my number to your Aunt Queen, and I'm in and out of Mayfair Medical doing rounds every day. I'm fast becoming the full-time chaplain here, and you'd be surprised what Dr. Rowan wants me to investigate. I'll stop back in later to see you.'

" 'What does she want you to investigate?' I asked. I was plenty intrigued. And I was simmering down, and I liked talking to him. He wasn't the cliche I'd expected him to be.

" 'Near-death experiences,' he said, 'that's what I'm investigating. You know, when people are p.r.o.nounced dead and they see a bright light when they pa.s.s through a tunnel and greet a being of light - and then they're revived and they come back here to tell us about it.'

" 'Yes, I know. I read everything on that subject that I can find. I believe in it. I believe it happens.'

" 'Often those people aren't believed,' he said. 'I'm here to believe, but never to ask a leading question or maybe make a suggestive statement.'

" 'I follow you,' I said. 'Have you talked to people who've had the experience?'

" 'Yes,' he said, 'I have. Of course I give the Sacrament for the Sick too. And I hear confessions, and I bring Communion.'

" 'Do you believe me --what I've just told you?'

" 'I believe you believe what you're saying,' he said. 'Now do you want the Sacrament for the Sick? You know it doesn't require much of one.'

" 'I'm not sick,' I replied, 'and as to my s.e.xual sins, well, I'm not ready to give all that up. I can't go to Confession just now. I can't take Communion. s.e.x is brand-new to me.'

" 'Yes,' he said with a weary little smile, 'it's difficult at your time of life.' He shrugged. And then he flashed a brighter smile on me and said, 'I thought it was h.e.l.l when I was your age, and frankly I think so sometimes now. Priests go to Confession, you know. They go to other priests. It's not so easy.'

" 'I like you. I know that may not matter much --.'

" 'Oh, yes, it matters,' he said. 'But I have to get back to St. Mary's. I have my parish duties as well as some work later at the university. I'll see you this afternoon.'

"He stood up.

"Something flashed into my head. 'Father,' I said, 'what if you do see a ghost that's evil, a ghost that leads you into harm, a ghost who wants some kind of dark vengeance? What do you do? You make the Sign of the Cross and you pray? Is that your only weapon?'

"He looked at me for a long time before he answered. Then he said, 'Don't talk to it,' he said.

'Don't entertain it with talk or looks or any form of attention. Remember, it can't do much to you without your helping it. Just maybe it can't do anything anything to you without your helping it. Take the ghost of Hamlet's father, for instance. Suppose Hamlet had never gone to meet it and spoken to it. Suppose he had never given the ghost an opportunity to put a story of murder into his mind. The result was pure destruction for innocent and guilty. Think on it. What if Hamlet had refused to speak to that ghost?' to you without your helping it. Take the ghost of Hamlet's father, for instance. Suppose Hamlet had never gone to meet it and spoken to it. Suppose he had never given the ghost an opportunity to put a story of murder into his mind. The result was pure destruction for innocent and guilty. Think on it. What if Hamlet had refused to speak to that ghost?'

" 'You mean the ghost was evil?' I asked.

" 'The play tells us so,' he said. 'It could be named The d.a.m.nation of Hamlet The d.a.m.nation of Hamlet.'

"I.

nodded.

"He left the room and I lay there, getting sleepy and woozy and thankful that Goblin now took 153.

the chair by the bed, and I took his hand in mine.

"I thought of the malicious stranger. 'Who was that b.a.s.t.a.r.d, Goblin?' I asked. 'How did he get in my room?'

"When I heard no telepathic answer I turned and looked at him, and I saw that same grave expression on his face that I had remarked down in the cemetery, after I'd buried the remains of Rebecca.

" 'Can't you talk to me, Goblin?' I said. 'Listen, I'll have them bring me paper and crayons tomorrow-a big sketchpad, you know-and we can write to each other.'

"He shook his head. He almost sneered. He did sneer. He looked cold and then angry. Computer, Quinn, bring a computer here. Computer, Quinn, bring a computer here.

" 'Of course,' I replied. 'Why didn't I think of that? I'll get a laptop, I'll tell them I have to have it.'

"I was getting sleepier and sleepier. He sat there, my guardian, and then he spoke to me telepathically again. Anger makes me strong, Quinn. Anger makes me strong, Quinn.

" 'Anger's bad,' I murmured. I was drifting off. I woke with a start, then reminded myself that I was safe. Aunt Queen came in. I heard her telling the nurse that I was falling asleep. They had to wake me up.

"I heard Jasmine at my ear: " 'Little Boss, listen to me,' Jasmine said, 'we're booked solid at the Manor for the next two weeks. I have to go on back home again and so does Mamma. We have no choice. But Miss Queen is all set up. And the guards are outside. Don't you worry on that account. I'll be back when I can.'

" 'Kiss me,' I murmured. I was falling asleep.

"Was it sleep? Rebecca and I were on the lawn again in the big wicker peac.o.c.k chairs and the sun was slanting down on the zinnias that Pops had planted all along the side of the house, and Rebecca said in a rippling, rhythmic voice, 'Oh, of course I'd like to live in a civilized fashion and pretend it all never took place, that he married me and made me mistress of this house and that my children would have been loved by him, and you know that you always had love, you always had love, you don't know what it means to not have love, to have nothing, simply nothing, and you, with Jasmine, you didn't taken any measures, and what if a child came from that union, would you love that child, the child you had with that colored b.i.t.c.h!'

"I tried to wake up. I had to ask Jasmine. Could she have gotten pregnant, but then it seemed dreamlike that I'd been with her, and I feared she'd be mean to me if I brought it up, and I knew she hadn't taken measures and neither had I, and maybe there could be a baby, and it almost made me happy.

"I couldn't move my hands.

"I opened my eyes. They had tied my hands to the bed! 'What are you doing?' I tried to say more but Rebecca was talking. They had tied my feet. I began to shout for help.

"Aunt Queen stood over me: 'Quinn, darling, you ripped out the IV. You were talking out loud to someone. You were agitated. You pushed the intern away. He has to put the IV back.'

"This was too terrible, simply too terrible. I looked at the ceiling tiles. To get away, to get far away, I went into unconsciousness. And of course Rebecca was there, she was pouring coffee for me and smiling, and the marguerites were blooming with the zinnias, and I loved the marguerites so much, those little white-and-yellow daisies.

" 'You've got to find a way to get out of here,' I told Rebecca. 'You have got to find a way to escape this place and go into the Light. G.o.d's waiting for you. G.o.d knows what's happened to you, he knows about the hook, he knows what they did. Don't you understand that it's G.o.d who's going to give you justice?'

"('Wake up, Quinn. Quinn, wake up.') 154.

" 'And why should I go when it's so nice here,' Rebecca said. 'Here, look, this is the blouse you found upstairs in the trunk. Big Ramona's been washing and ironing all my clothes just like you told her to do. I wore this specially for you, and you see my cameo? How pretty it is. It's Venus with the little cupid at her side. I took it from Aunt Queen's display. Oh, I just love being with you. Have some more coffee. What are you going to do with all my old clothes?'

"('Wake up, Quinn, come on, open your eyes.') " 'What am I going to do with you is more the question,' I replied, 'and I'm telling you, you're going home to G.o.d. We all do. It's just a matter of time.' "

20.

"IT TOOK three days for me to get the laptop computer. In fact, Nash Penfield, the out-of-town teacher, purchased it when he arrived, and though I wasn't to meet him until more favorable circ.u.mstances prevailed --my decision, not Aunt Queen's --I was grateful that he had had the wherewithal to get the appropriate machine and a long extension cord.

"During those three days they ran every conceivable medical test, and at the end of the ordeal it was plainly clear that I had no lesions on the temporal lobe, no indication of epilepsy and no brain tumors.