Big Sky Dreams: Sabrina Part 19

"I used to do that every week when I visited Meg," Ca.s.sidy said, smiling at the memory.

"Oh," Sabrina had a sudden thought, "if I don't rent a rig, someone will have to bring me back to town."

"What time do you want to come back?" Rylan asked before Ca.s.sidy could volunteer.

"After supper, Ry," Ca.s.sidy put in, "and you come out and join us."

"Thank you, Ca.s.sie. I'll plan on that."

Before Sabrina knew it, she was in Ca.s.sidy's wagon and going with her to finish her errands in town. She was halfway to the ranch before she remembered that Rylan had not told her why he called her Sabrina.

I have to take a nap had been Ca.s.sidy's words after dinner. Trace had gone back out to work, and she had explained that everyone 156 told her to baby herself on this first child. After the first one was born, you always had someone else to take care of and not always time for a nap.

Sabrina did not mind the time alone. Ca.s.sidy had already showed her the stream that ran through the property, and with a blanket in hand she was headed down there to relax and dip her feet into the water. It was wonderful to take her stockings off; the air felt good; and when she put her feet into the water, it chilled her but was worth it.

Sabrina looked around the ranch, the Bitterroot Mountains all around, and wished for her Bible. But that only lasted a few minutes. Rylan had been urging them to think on Scripture, to know it, and have it always with them in their hearts.

Sabrina thought about Exodus. She had been reading in that book for a few days and was amazed at Moses' path to G.o.d. She had never heard any of this before and was awed at the way G.o.d worked. A verse came to mind from chapter 3. Sabrina did not know it by heart, but words came back to her about G.o.d being with Moses and bringing him to serve G.o.d on a mountain.

So many years ago, so many faithful servants for years, Lord. I feel small and insignificant, but You use each one of us where You will. You have a plan for me. Pastor Rylan... Sabrina stopped and smiled. Rylan keeps telling me that, and I can see it now. There is so much I don't know. Help my heart to keep learning. I grow anxious when I think that Crystal and Eliza will never accept You and believe, but I can't control the time. Only You know their paths.

Sabrina realized she had some repenting to do. She had been anxious. She had wanted to be in control and to be the one to "save" each woman she met. It was remarkably freeing and gave her a tremendous amount of peace to give it over to G.o.d. It was even freeing for her to realize how foolish she was for thinking she could compete with G.o.d.

Sabrina was still in the midst of these thoughts when she looked up to see Ca.s.sidy coming her way.

157 "Couldn't you sleep?" Sabrina called to her.

Ca.s.sidy laughed. "It's been almost two hours."

Sabrina didn't know how that could be possible.

"It's like that out here," Ca.s.sidy said, joining her on the blanket. "Time ceases to exist. I love it."

"I can see why you would."

"Did you sleep?" Ca.s.sidy asked.

"I had too much on my mind."

"Something in particular?"

"One of my neighbors has a baby who's sick. She let Pastor Rylan pray with her for the first time the other night. I'm hoping she'll want to hear more and the baby will be all right."

"What's her name? I'll pray for her too."

"The mother is Eliza and the baby is Mirabel."

"I like the baby's name."

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

"Yes. Is there a father?"

Some of Jeanette's words came back about Sabrina living in a bad part of town. Ca.s.sidy had been concerned when she heard, but now she was fascinated.

"Where is the father?"

"I don't know if she knows who the father is. She's a prost.i.tute." "And she's your neighbor?" Ca.s.sidy asking, hoping she had kept the surprise from her voice. She didn't know what she thought the "bad part of town" meant, but this wasn't it.

"Yes. I was looking for cheap rent, and that put me on Willow Street."

"And you're staying there?"

"I'm planning on it. I would move if something nicer opened up that I could afford, but most days I'm too busy to look. Tell me something," Sabrina said before Ca.s.sidy could form another question. "Did Jeanette tell me that you opened Token Creek Apparel?"

"Yes."

158 "What was that like, starting your own business? Did the bank loan you money?"

"My mother gave me the money to start, so that was a tremendous help. I knew I could sew well enough to make a living, but in truth I didn't know if Token Creek would support it. They did obviously, but it was a risk."

Sabrina nodded, looking fascinated.

"Are you interested in starting a business?"

"I don't do anything well enough to try. And I don't mind working for Jeanette and Jessie. I admire Jessie-she does an amazing job-but I would hate to have to raise my girls in a store."

"She is amazing. She told me one time that it's her dream to build a home someday, but there's never any time. The store takes it all."

"Have you ever talked about what she believes? It's never come up, and I don't want to ask her."

"Did you know that Jeb is her cousin?"

"He told me."

"He and Jessie have talked about G.o.d for years, and she has a lot of respect for Jeb and Rylan, but she doesn't think she needs church or the Bible. She thinks she's a good person on her own."

Sabrina had a new thought. There was one great advantage to knowing prost.i.tutes. They never argued that they were fine. They might not want to hear what you have to say, but it wasn't because any of them thought they were sinless.

"Well, now," Trace said loudly enough to warn them, having caught sight of Sabrina's bare feet. "This looks fun."

By the time Trace made the blanket, Sabrina had managed to tuck her stockings away and get her feet under the hem of her skirt. Trace sank down and kissed his wife and then asked the ladies about their day.

"How late is it?" Ca.s.sidy suddenly asked.

"It's suppertime, I think. At least that's what my stomach thinks."

Ca.s.sidy pressed him and found out it wasn't that late, but she still 159 rose and started for the house. Trace went with her, and Sabrina said she would be along shortly.

She had just gotten her stockings and shoes back into place and the blanket folded when she saw Rylan coming up in a buggy. She hadn't expected him this early but thought it was nice he could get away. It took his stepping out of the wagon and walking slowly toward her for her to realize he'd not come with good news.

Sabrina could not stop trembling. Not in her wildest dreams did she picture herself standing in the cemetery next to the tiniest casket she'd ever seen. Mirabel had died in the afternoon the day before. Crystal had come for Rylan, who had gone to Eliza and prayed with her. He had stayed as long as she wanted, Crystal hovering in the background all the while. When it seemed he should leave, he'd headed to the ranch for Sabrina.

Sabrina had not cried, and Rylan had not pressed her to talk about it on the way back to town. He'd taken her to Eliza's and watched as she'd silently gone in and sat with the stunned mother.

Now the small group of mourners stood in the cemetery at the edge of town. Rylan looked over the group. Doctor Ertz had come, and Sabrina, but outside of that, these were the outcasts of the community. Saloon owners and workers, prost.i.tutes and some of the men who visited them, stood around the small grave. Rylan hadn't been asked to say anything, but when eyes kept turning to him, he went to Eliza and checked with her.

"Do you want me to say anything, Eliza? Maybe what we talked about yesterday?"

Eliza nodded, and Rylan stepped back a little to address the group.

"Thank you for coming. Eliza and I talked about some things yesterday, and I'd like to share those thoughts with you. I don't have my Bible with me, but I can tell you that G.o.d treasures babies like 160 Mirabel. It says in Psalms that we are knit together in our mother's womb, and for that reason, I know G.o.d watches over infants and little ones.

"For those of us who grow old enough to know what choices are, we all have to face what we're going to do with G.o.d's Son, Jesus Christ. But for little ones like Mirabel, G.o.d understands they can't choose or reject Him. And G.o.d is a just and loving G.o.d. He would never condemn such a small life away from Him. For this reason, I believe Mirabel is with G.o.d right now. Not because of who she is, but because of who He is. I take comfort in that.

"I hope that anyone who doubts they will spend eternity with G.o.d will not wait another day to take care of that. Mirabel's time was done, and we will grieve her, but we don't have to grieve without hope." Rylan paused for just a moment before adding, "If anyone wants to know any more about the things I've said, I hope you'll come to me."

Folks started to wander off, some with a word to Eliza. Sabrina stayed at her side, not wanting to talk to anyone but not sure she should leave. She glanced up and spotted Zeke in the distance, and all thoughts about staying silent deserted her.

"Zeke is here," Sabrina said, not mincing words. "You deserve better than that, Eliza. Go home to Redmond. Go home to your father. You won't have to work like this anymore. Leave Token Creek and this life behind you. And keep searching for G.o.d," Sabrina added, her throat threatening to close. "Don't ever give up until you find Him."

Eliza finally looked at her.

"I'm so sorry she's gone," Sabrina said, unable to stop the tears that flooded her eyes. "She was so precious. Don't lose yourself too. Mirabel wouldn't want that for you."

"Is there anything I can do?" Rylan asked Eliza next. She answered him, but Sabrina couldn't hear it. A moment later, Rylan took Sabrina's arm and led her away.

"I told Eliza you would help her pack."

161 "Certainly. Is she doing that today?"

"No, you can check with her tomorrow."

Sabrina nodded and then realized that Rylan was definitely taking her somewhere. She saw the buggy ahead and took the hand he offered to climb on board. She didn't know when she'd been so weary. All she wanted to do was sleep. It took some minutes to see that Rylan was not taking her home.

"Where are we going?"

"To Jeanette's."

"Why?"

"Because you need someone to look after you right now." "Don't be nice to me, Rylan Jarvik!" Sabrina commanded, desperately working not to cry. "I mean it."

Rylan didn't comment-he understood-but neither did he change his course. He was taking her to Heather and Becky. They would know what to do.

"Did you know and not say anything to me?" Heather whispered to Jeanette as soon as she got home.

"No. I never even guessed. Are you sure?"

"I tell you, I've never seen him like that. Even after she fell asleep in the chair, he sat and watched her, his heart in his eyes."

Jeanette stared at Heather. All this time she'd been watching out for Sabrina, worried about her safety and completely missing that Rylan was falling in love.

"They're perfect for each other," Jeanette said at last.

"Perfect," Heather agreed, forcing herself to keep her voice down.

"And you say she's still here?"

"In the kitchen with Becky. He made her promise to stay until he came back."

As though talking about him would conjure him up, both women 162 heard a knock on the front door. Becky could be heard going from the kitchen, talking all the while to Sabrina.

"I tell you you might as well come, Bri. It's going to be Pastor Rylan."

"I'm coming," Sabrina said bringing up the rear, and seeing that Becky was right. Rylan was at the door, stepping in to greet them both.

"Supper is almost ready," Becky said. "I'll give a final call." "Thank you, Becky," he said as she wandered off. He didn't waste time snagging Sabrina's attention. "How are you doing?" "Better. It helped to sleep."

"Can I be kind to you now?" Rylan asked.

"That was a terrible thing to say to you, and you're making a joke out of it."

"You were not yourself"

"But I still owe you an apology."

"I didn't tease you so you would feel bad. I truly did understand."

Sabrina looked at him. He was kind, remarkably so, and the more she was with him, the more she liked him. She knew he would never return any strong feelings she might develop, but she was all right with that. Having his friendship was all she needed.

"You're doing it again," Rylan said, keeping his voice light. "Doing what?"

"Inscrutable at will' is how I would term it."

Sabrina frowned at him in confusion.

"Your eyes," Rylan explained.

Sabrina had to think about this and then asked slowly, "So I'm working to hide my thoughts?"

"I'm not sure. Your eyes can be very expressive or give nothing away. I a.s.sume that's deliberate."

Sabrina had to think some more about this. Her gaze wandered to the floor, and she frowned in concentration. Rylan wanted to laugh. It was as if he'd disappeared.

163 "I don't know," Sabrina said suddenly, just as Becky called for them. "I honestly don't know."

Rylan had to laugh. Seeing it, Sabrina misunderstood, her hands coming to her waist.