Benjamin Franklin; Self-Revealed Volume Ii Part 28

My last Adversary [he declared] is J. J--n, Philomat., who _declares and protests_ (in his preface, 1741) that the _false Prophecy put in my Almanack, concerning him, the Year before, is altogether_ false and untrue: _and that I am one of Baal's false Prophets_. This _false, false Prophecy_ he speaks of, related to his Reconciliation with the Church of Rome; which, notwithstanding his Declaring and Protesting, is, I fear, too true. Two Things in his elegiac Verses confirm me in this Suspicion. He calls the first of _November_ by the name of _All Hallows Day_. Reader; does not this smell of Popery? Does it in the least savour of the pure Language of Friends? But the plainest Thing is; his Adoration of Saints, which he confesses to be his Practice, in these Words, page 4.

"When any Trouble did me befal, To my dear _Mary_ then I would call."

Did he think the whole World were so stupid as not to take Notice of this? So ignorant as not to know, that all Catholicks pay the highest Regard to the _Virgin Mary_? Ah! Friend _John_, we must allow you to be a _Poet_, but you are certainly no Protestant. I could heartily wish your Religion were as good as your Verses.

Mingled with the other contents of _Poor Richard's Almanac_ were pointed maxims and sayings worthy of Lord John Russell's happy definition of a proverb "the wit of one and the wisdom of many," and at times first- or second-hand verses also.

Among the best of the latter are the following:

When Robin now three days had married been, And all his friends and neighbours gave him joy, This question of his wife he asked then, Why till her marriage day she proved so coy?

Indeed said he, 'twas well thou didst not yield, For doubtless then my purpose was to leave thee: O, sir, I once before was so beguil'd, And was resolved the next should not deceive me.

Poetry for December, 1734

By Mrs. Bridget Saunders, my Dutchess in answer to the December verses of last year.

He that for the sake of drink neglects his trade, And spends each night in taverns till 'tis late, And rises when the sun is four hours high, And ne'er regards his starving family, G.o.d in his mercy may do much to save him But, woe to the poor wife, whose lot is to have him.

Time eateth all things, could old poets say.

But times are chang'd, our times _drink_ all away

Old Batchelor would have a wife that's wise, Fair, rich and young a maiden for his bed; Not proud, nor churlish, but of faultless size A country housewife in the city bred.

He's a nice fool and long in vain hath staid; He should bespeak her, there's none ready made.

And this is Poor Richard's version of how Cupid and Campaspe played for kisses:

My love and I for kisses play'd, She would keep stakes, I was content, But when I won, she would be paid, This made me ask her what she meant: Quoth she, since you are in the wrangling vein Here take your kisses, give me mine again.

The first preface to _Poor Richard's Almanac_ appeared in the issue for 1733. In 1758, the proverbs and sayings, scattered through the preceding issues of the publication, were a.s.sembled in the _Way to Wealth_ or _Father Abraham's Speech_. Even John Bach McMaster in his brief, though admirable, work on Franklin as a man of letters found that he could not abridge this renowned production; so we offer no apology for inserting it here in its entirety:

COURTEOUS READER

I have heard that nothing gives an Author so great Pleasure, as to find his Works respectfully quoted by other learned Authors. This Pleasure I have seldom enjoyed; for tho' I have been, if I may say it without Vanity, an _eminent Author_ of Almanacks annually now a full Quarter of a Century, my Brother Authors in the same Way, for what Reason I know not, have ever been very sparing in their Applauses, and no other Author has taken the least Notice of me, so that did not my Writings produce me some solid _Pudding_, the great Deficiency of _Praise_ would have quite discouraged me.

I concluded at length, that the People were the best Judges of my Merit; for they buy my Works; and besides, in my Rambles, where I am not personally known, I have frequently heard one or other of my Adages repeated, with, _as Poor Richard says_, at the End on 't; this gave me some Satisfaction, as it showed not only that my Instructions were regarded, but discovered likewise some Respect for my Authority; and I own, that to encourage the Practice of remembering and repeating those wise Sentences, I have sometimes _quoted myself_ with great Gravity.

Judge, then how much I must have been gratified by an Incident I am going to relate to you. I stopt my Horse lately where a great Number of People were collected at a Vendue of Merchant Goods. The Hour of Sale not being come, they were conversing on the Badness of the Times and one of the Company call'd to a plain clean old Man, with white Locks, "Pray, Father Abraham, what think you of the Times? Won't these heavy Taxes quite ruin the Country? How shall we be ever able to pay them? What would you advise us to?" Father _Abraham_ stood up, and reply'd, "If you'd have my Advice, I'll give it you in short, for _A Word to the Wise is enough_, and _many Words won't fill a Bushel_, as _Poor Richard_ says."

They join'd in desiring him to speak his Mind, and gathering round him, he proceeded as follows;

"Friends," says he, "and Neighbours, the Taxes are indeed very heavy, and if those laid on by the Government were the only Ones we had to pay, we might more easily discharge them; but we have many others, and much more grievous to some of us. We are taxed twice as much by our _Idleness_, three times as much by our Pride, and four times as much by our _Folly_; and from these Taxes the Commissioners cannot ease or deliver us by allowing an Abatement. However let us hearken to good Advice, and something may be done for us; _G.o.d helps them that help themselves_, as _Poor Richard_ says, in his Almanack of 1733.

"It would be thought a hard Government that should tax its People one-tenth Part of their _Time_, to be employed in its Service. But _Idleness_ taxes many of us much more, if we reckon all that is spent in absolute _Sloth_, or doing of nothing, with that which is spent in idle Employments or Amus.e.m.e.nts, that amount to nothing. _Sloth_, by bringing on Diseases, absolutely shortens Life. _Sloth, like Rust, consumes faster than Labour wears; while the used Key is always bright_ as _Poor Richard_ says. _But dost thou love Life, then do not squander Time, for that's the stuff Life is made of_, as _Poor Richard_ says. How much more than is necessary do we spend in sleep, forgetting that _The sleeping Fox catches no Poultry_, and that _There will be sleeping enough in the Grave_, as _Poor Richard_ says.

"_If Time be of all Things the most precious, wasting Time must be_, as _Poor Richard_ says, _the greatest Prodigality_; since, as he elsewhere tells us, _Lost Time is never found again; and what we call Time enough, always proves little enough_: Let us then be up and doing, and doing to the Purpose; so by Diligence shall we do more with less Perplexity. _Sloth makes all Things difficult, but Industry all easy_, as _Poor Richard_ says; and _He that riseth late must trot all Day, and shall scarce overtake his Business at Night_; while _Laziness travels so slowly, that Poverty soon overtakes him_, as we read in _Poor Richard_, who adds, _Drive thy Business, let not that drive thee_; and _Early to Bed, and early to rise, makes a Man healthy, wealthy, and wise_.

"So what signifies _wishing_ and _hoping_ for better Times. We may make these Times better, if we bestir ourselves. _Industry need not wish_, as _Poor Richard_ says, _and he that lives upon Hope will die fasting_.

_There are no Gains without Pains; then Help Hands, for I have no Lands_, or if I have, they are smartly taxed.

And, as _Poor Richard_ likewise observes, _He that hath a Trade hath an Estate; and he that hath a Calling, hath an Office of Profit_ and Honour; but then the _Trade_ must be worked at, and the _Calling_ well followed, or neither the _Estate_ nor the _Office_ will enable us to pay our Taxes. If we are industrious, we shall never starve; for, as _Poor Richard_ says, _At the working Man's House Hunger looks in, but dares not enter_. Nor will the Bailiff or the Constable enter, for _Industry pays Debts, while Despair encreaseth them_, says _Poor Richard_. What though you have found no Treasure, nor has any rich Relation left you a Legacy, _Diligence is the Mother of Goodluck_ as _Poor Richard_ says _and G.o.d gives all Things to Industry_.

_Then plough deep, while Sluggards sleep, and you shall have Corn to sell and to keep_, says _Poor d.i.c.k_. Work while it is called To-day, for you know not how much you may be hindered To-morrow, which makes _Poor Richard_ say, _One to-day is worth two To-morrows_, and farther, _Have you somewhat to do To-morrow, do it To-day_. If you were a Servant, would you not be ashamed that a good Master should catch you idle? Are you then your own Master, _be ashamed to catch yourself idle_, as _Poor d.i.c.k_ says. When there is so much to be done for yourself, your Family, your Country, and your gracious King, be up by Peep of Day; _Let not the Sun look down and say, Inglorious here he lies_. Handle your Tools without Mittens; remember that _The Cat in Gloves catches no Mice_, as _Poor Richard_ says. 'Tis true there is much to be done, and perhaps you are weak-handed, but stick to it steadily; and you will see great Effects, for _Constant Dropping wears away Stones_, and by _Diligence and Patience the Mouse ate in two the Cable_; and _Little Strokes fell great Oaks_, as _Poor Richard_ says in his Almanack, the Year I cannot just now remember.

"Methinks I hear some of you say, _Must a Man afford himself no Leisure?_ I will tell thee, my friend, what _Poor Richard_ says, _Employ thy Time well, if thou meanest to gain Leisure; and, since thou are not sure of a Minute, throw not away an Hour_. Leisure is Time for doing something useful; this Leisure the diligent Man will obtain, but the lazy Man never; so that, as _Poor Richard_ says _A Life of Leisure and a Life of Laziness are two Things_. Do you imagine that Sloth will afford you more Comfort than Labour? No, for as _Poor Richard_ says, _Trouble springs from Idleness, and grievous Toil from needless Ease. Many without Labour, would live by their Wits only, but they break for want of Stock._ Whereas Industry gives Comfort, and Plenty, and Respect: _Fly Pleasures, and they'll follow you_. _The diligent Spinner has a large Shift; and now I have a Sheep and a Cow, everybody bids me good Morrow_; all which is well said by _Poor Richard_.

"But with our Industry, we must likewise be _steady_, _settled_, and _careful_, and oversee our own Affairs _with our own Eyes_, and not trust too much to others; for, as _Poor Richard_ says

_I never saw an oft-removed Tree, Nor yet an oft-removed Family, That throve so well as those that settled be._

And again, _Three Removes is as bad as a Fire_; and again, _Keep thy Shop, and thy Shop will keep thee_; and again, _If you would have your Business done, go; if not, send_, and again,

_He that by the Plough would thrive, Himself must either hold or drive._

And again, _The Eye of a Master will do more Work than both his Hands_; and again, _Want of Care does us more Damage than Want of Knowledge_; and again, _Not to oversee Workmen, is to leave them your Purse open_.

Trusting too much to others' Care is the Ruin of many; for, as the Almanack says, _In the Affairs of this World, Men are saved, not by Faith, but by the Want of it_; but a Man's own Care is profitable; for, saith _Poor d.i.c.k_, _Learning is to the Studious_, and _Riches to the Careful_, as well as _Power to the Bold, and Heaven to the Virtuous_, And farther, _If you would have a faithful Servant, and one that you like, serve yourself_. And again, he adviseth to Circ.u.mspection and Care, even in the smallest Matters, because sometimes _A little Neglect may breed great Mischief_; adding, _for want of a Nail the Shoe was lost; for want of a Shoe the Horse was lost; and for want of a Horse the Rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the Enemy; all for want of Care about a Horse-shoe Nail_.

"So much for Industry, my Friends, and Attention to one's own Business; but to these we must add _Frugality_, if we would make our _Industry_ more certainly successful. A Man may, if he knows not how to save as he gets, _keep his Nose all his Life to the Grindstone_, and die not worth a Groat at last. A _fat Kitchen makes a lean Will_, as _Poor Richard_ says; and

_Many Estates are spent in the Getting,_ _Since Women for Tea forsook Spinning and Knitting,_ _And Men for Punch forsook Hewing and Splitting._

_If you would be wealthy_, says he, in another Almanack, _think of Saving as well as of Getting: The Indies have not made Spain rich, because her Outgoes are greater than her Incomes_.

"Away then with your expensive Follies, and you will not then have so much Cause to complain of hard Times, heavy Taxes, and chargeable Families; for, as _Poor d.i.c.k_ says,

Women and Wine, Game and Deceit, Make the Wealth small and the Wants great.

And farther, _What maintains one Vice, would bring up two Children_. You may think perhaps, that a _little_ Tea, or a _little_ Punch now and then, Diet a _little_ more costly, Clothes, a _little_ finer, and a _little_ Entertainment now and then, can be no _great_ Matter; but remember what _Poor Richard_ says, _Many a Little makes a Mickle_; and farther, _Beware of little Expences; A small Leak will sink a great Ship_; and again, _Who Dainties love, shall Beggars prove_; and moreover, _Fools make Feasts, and wise Men eat them_.

"Here you are all got together at this Vendue of _Fineries_ and _Knicknacks_. You call them _Goods_; but if you do not take Care, they will prove _Evils_ to some of you. You expect they will be sold _Cheap_, and perhaps they may for less than they cost; but if you have no Occasion for them, they must be _dear_ to you.

Remember what _Poor Richard_ says; _Buy what thou hast no Need of, and ere long thou shalt sell thy Necessaries_. And again, _At a great Pennyworth pause a while_: He means, that perhaps the Cheapness is _apparent_ only, and not _Real_; or the bargain by straitening thee in thy Business, may do thee more Harm than Good. For in another Place he says, _Many have been ruined by buying good Pennyworths._ Again, _Poor Richard_ says, _'tis foolish to lay out Money in a Purchase of Repentance_; and yet this Folly is practised every Day at Vendues, for want of minding the Almanack. _Wise Men_, as _Poor d.i.c.k_ says, _learn by others Harms, Fools scarcely by their own_; but _felix quem faciunt aliena pericula cautum_. Many a one, for the Sake of Finery on the Back, have gone with a hungry Belly, and half-starved their Families. _Silks and Sattins, Scarlet and Velvets_, as _Poor Richard_ says, _put out the Kitchen Fire_.

"These are not the _Necessaries of Life_; they can scarcely be called the _Conveniences_; and yet only because they look pretty, how many _want_ to _have_ them! The _artificial_ Wants of Mankind thus become more numerous than the _Natural_; and, as _Poor d.i.c.k_ says, _for one poor Person, there are an hundred indigent_. By these, and other Extravagancies, the Genteel are reduced to poverty, and forced to borrow of those whom they formerly despised, but who through Industry and Frugality have maintained their Standing; in which Case it appears plainly, that _A Ploughman on his Legs is higher than a Gentleman on his Knees_, as _Poor Richard_ says. Perhaps they have had a small Estate left them, which they knew not the Getting of; they think, _'tis Day, and will never be Night_; that a little to be spent out of so much, is not worth minding; _a Child and a Fool_, as _Poor Richard_ says, _imagine Twenty shillings and Twenty Years can never be spent_ but, _always taking out of the Meal-tub, and never putting in, soon comes to the Bottom_; as _Poor d.i.c.k_ says, _When the Well's dry, they know the Worth of Water_. But this they might have known before, if they had taken his Advice; _If you would know the Value of Money, go and try to borrow some; for, he that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing_; and indeed so does he that lends to such People, when he goes _to get it in again_. _Poor d.i.c.k_ farther advises, and says,

_Fond Pride of Dress is sure a very Curse;_ _E'er Fancy you consult, consult your Purse._

And again, _Pride is as loud a Beggar as Want, and a great deal more saucy_. When you have bought one fine Thing, you must buy ten more, that your Appearance may be all of a Piece; but _Poor d.i.c.k_ says, '_Tis easier to suppress the first Desire, than to satisfy all that follow it_. And 'tis as truly Folly for the Poor to ape the Rich, as for the Frog to swell, in order to equal the ox.

_Great Estates may venture more,_ _But little Boats should keep near Sh.o.r.e._

'Tis, however, a Folly soon punished; for _Pride that dines on Vanity, sups on Contempt_, as _Poor Richard_ says. And in another Place, _Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined with Poverty, and supped with Infamy_.

And after all, of what Use is this _Pride of Appearance_, for which so much is risked so much is suffered? It cannot promote Health, or ease Pain; it makes no Increase of Merit in the Person, it creates Envy, it hastens Misfortune.

_What is a b.u.t.terfly? At best_ _He's but a Caterpillar drest_ _The gaudy Fop's his Picture just,_

as _Poor Richard_ says.

"But what Madness must it be to _run in Debt_ for these Superfluities! We are offered, by the Terms of this Vendue, _Six Months' Credit_; and that perhaps has induced some of us to attend it, because we cannot spare the ready Money, and hope now to be fine without it. But, ah, think what you do when you run in Debt; _you give to another Power over your Liberty_. If you cannot pay at the Time, you will be ashamed to see your Creditor; you will be in Fear when you speak to him; you will make poor pitiful sneaking Excuses, and by Degrees come to lose your Veracity, and sink into base downright lying; for, as _Poor Richard_ says _The second Vice is Lying, the first is running in Debt_.