Because My Toilet Turned Into a Dungeon, Taking Care of My Business Has Become too Difficult Short Story

「Sorry, may I go for a little?」

Right now, I’m at the house of my girl friend I got to know in the university I enrolled in this spring. I got a slight urge to urinate, so I asked for permission to use the toilet.

「Aiyo~」

My friend who was laying on the bed reading manga, gave such reply while scratching her b.u.t.t.

Then, after finishing my business and returned, I earnestly muttered.

「Ah~ being able to use toilet anytime is convenient, after all~」
「Eh?」

My friend reading manga lifts her face and stares in wonder.

「You are in the boarding house, aren’t you? They have communal toilets there?」
「No, no, that’s not it」
「Then, what? Are they repairing?」
「That’s not it……」

I was a little lost, thinking whether it’s all right, to tell the truth.

「My toilet became a dungeon, you see」
「Ha?」

She’s looking at me with「Have you become weird in your head?」expression.
Certainly, I think that it’s absurd story as well, but I can’t help it since it’s true.

「I’m not joking, seriously. When you open the door of the toilet, all beyond that point turns into a dungeon」
「…… What if you clear it?」
「When defeating the boss, the door in the boss room opens, and the toilet is there. In other words, I can finally take care of my business then」
「……………」

Ah, this fellow definitely doesn’t believe me.
She’s watching me with seriously suspicious eyes.

「Yesterday’s night was seriously close. Maa, it was my fastest capture record yet, but you know?」

And then, I told my friend.
The heroic tale from last night.

◇ ◇ ◇

When I woke up, it was about two o’clock in the morning.
And my first thought was to go to the toilet.

「d.a.m.n…… I might have drunk too much」

It was a drinking party of my club yesterday.
Though I declined, it wasn’t alcohol.
I’m not of age yet, so I had only soft drinks. Nevertheless, it was all you can drink, so I drank quite a lot.

Thanks to that, this urge to urinate appeared.
Judging from the past experience, this is a degree of urgency 3.
Since the degree of urgency is 3, I can hold it for around twenty minutes.
Incidentally, the highest is 6. This would rupture the dam within 30 seconds.

I immediately got up from the bed.
I uneasily cross the room and open the door to the toilet. Bath and toilet are separate.

No, it’s not a toilet now.
It certainly was a toilet when I moved in, but now, there’s no toilet bowl before me.
Just a deep staircase leading to the underground.
It’s a dungeon.

This strange phenomenon first occurred about three months ago.
Why did my toilet suddenly change into a dungeon, I don’t really know.
But, the fact is, that a ten-floor dungeon is at the bottom of this staircase.
And in the innermost place, a toilet bowl which should have been originally here.

「I must hurry」

Feeling the expanding feeling of my bladder, I pick up that before descending down the staircase.

It’s my equipment.

The sword and armor I have obtained by challenging the dungeon until now. In order to arrive as fast and safely as possible, this equipment is necessary.

・Fairy Sword: Offensive Power +50. Double strike.
・Angel’s Raiment: Defensive Power +45. Agility level +20.
・Battle Boots: Defensive Power +15.

Both Fairy Sword and Angel’s Raiment are probably rare items.
It’s possible to obtain these items in the treasure chests that randomly appear or as dropped items from defeated monsters.

Incidentally, I have no idea how this works, but weapon names and stats flow inside my head just be looking at them.
And they are usable only in the dungeon. I tried using it outside several times but wasn’t possible because of some mysterious power.

After getting into the equipment, I descended the staircase.

First is the first floor.
I was very nervous the first time, but I’m already expert now.
The route to the next floor is perfectly stored in my head, I am able to advance without getting lost.

「Gyaa」
「Gegege」
「Gugii」

While advancing on my usual route, ugly green skinned creatures appeared in front of me.
They are goblins.
There are four in total.

I charge straight into them as swing my Fairy Sword.
The goblins were reduced into lifeless lumps of meat in a blink of an eye.
At my current condition, they are opponents I can beat with my eyes closed.

「…… Maa, they were chasing me all around at the beginning, and in the end…… I did it」

I unintentionally remember a bitter experience
I won’t accept such humiliation anymore.
I hurried ahead with the urge to urinate pressing.

After that, I smoothly advanced and arrived at the seventh floor.
Approximately five minutes has pa.s.sed to get over here.
The bladder…… un, still okay.

It’s thanks to the Fairy Sword that I was able to advance so quickly.
After all, it has the advantage of attacking twice. It’s quite effective against small fries.

However, it also has a problem.
Its offensive power isn’t that high.
As I get deeper, the monsters get stronger, and I become unable to kill them in one hit.
Therefore, it’s the turn of the other rare equipment.

「Buooo!」
「To!」

I avoid the hoof strikes of the monster with a cow head, Minotaurus.
The Angel’s Raiment raises the agility, and at the same time, the avoidance ability also rises.
However, because the defensive power is low, I will receive a big damage if hit.

Still, in order to clear the dungeon as fast as possible, I can’t fight drowsily.

「Haaa!」
「b.u.mo!?」

Because I cut the Minotaurus twice with my double attacks, I s.n.a.t.c.hed its mobility.
It’s not necessary to finish it off.
I don’t have such leeway, I rather advance earlier.
Because, the degree of urgency of my bladder already increased to level 4.

「Ku…… it’s earlier than expected……」

I hurry.
But with as quietly as possible so I don’t upset my bladder.

And then, I finally arrive at the final floor.
However, the degree of urgency entered the level 5.

I won’t hold for more than two minutes.
It’s shorter than the time I usually take to fight the Ultraman.

――You did your best.
――Can’t you take it easy already?
――No one is watching, can’t you do it over there?

Such devil whispers resound in my head.

However, if I give up now, the effort which I put in would go to waste.
And I don’t want to do it in a place like this! As a stubborn female.

Anyhow, I have to hurry.
The way of running at my present condition is funny, but I don’t mind.

「Oooooh!」
「tte, a dragon at a time like this!?」

This is the worst, the strongest monster in this dungeon, a dragon appeared in the middle of the path that is the shortest route to the goal.
Should I take a different route?
I don’t have time for that!

「Chargeeeee!」

I prepare to stake my all and charge straight towards the dragon.
The dragon notices me.
It opens its mouth widely.
Dragon Breath is coming!

「Nuoriyaaaa!」

I rolled on the floor and narrowly avoided the dragon breath. I feel burning sensation on my back. Hot!

I slip under the dragon’s stomach and get behind it.
And then I withdraw at full speed.
I have no time to look back.

Rather, I have not leaked during that attack, did I!?
…… I, it looks safe.
But…… kuuu, I might spill just by running……!

I see the door at last.
The other side is the boss room.
tte, there was still the boss!
My bladder’s power is at its limit!

The degree of urgency is 5!
I have to defeat it in thirty seconds!

But, the boss being a boss is strong. It’s hard to deal with.

「Aaaah!」

With a repulsive scream, a gigantic demon appeared.
Sometimes it takes up to five minutes to beat this guy. Thanks to that I lea-
However, thanks to that, I have discovered this fellows’ weak point.

「Thereeeee!」
「Giyauaa!?」

It’s the crotch.
This boss’ weak point is his little boy? Although it was unexpected, it’s the fastest way to defeat this guy. There’s no hand that I won’t use. My bladder is in danger.

I swing my Fairy Sword and aim at the demon’s crotch.
The demon attacks with sharp nails and lightning, but concentrating to my utmost limits, I evade all exhibiting the bladder enduring power and trample down opponent’s crotch.

「Doyaaaa!」
「Guaaaaaaaaaa!」

I crushed the boss receiving no damage!
Moreover, the leftover time is a little over twenty seconds.
I can do it! I’m in time! Do your best, me! The toilet is right there!

「~~~~!?」

But, after coming all the way here, the biggest wave ever came. The degree of urgency finally increased to 6.
I, I can’t move!
Even though it’s just several more steps!
I can reach with just a few more steps!

「Gu…… o…… nu……」

My face turned deep blue, but I still don’t give up on my legs.
Even a step seems impossible.
Even still, I will crawl if necessary.

It’s alright, I have endured so much until now.
There’s no way I can’t endure this much distance.

And then――
I managed to get through the long, long distance and finally touched the door k.n.o.b.
When I opened the door, my beloved toilet!

「Haaaaa…… feels so good……」

Such words unconsciously leaked from my mouth.
Right now, I’m sitting on the toilet bowl.
I was finally able to take care of my business.
Although my voice leaked out, I didn’t leak out what I shouldn’t let out.

「Moreover, this time, it was my fastest capture, wasn’t it? It probably didn’t take even ten minutes」

I became slightly sleepy after relieving myself.
Getting back to the room would be troublesome, shall I sleep here today?

The next morning, I woke up at the toilet.

◇ ◇ ◇

「Uwa, the h.e.l.l is this!? It seriously became a staircase!」

My friend who ascertained the toilet let out a surprised voice.
I thought what would I do if other people besides me couldn’t see it, but it appears she can see it.

「Everything you said was seriously true……」

As expected, she seemed to believe after seeing it in person.
See, I tell her with a smug face.

She has a wry smile, but her face suddenly changes as if she had remembered something.

「But you see, isn’t there a convenience store nearby? Wouldn’t it be faster to go there?」

「………… I overlooked that」