Beauty Queens Part 28

"Nothing," Petra said and put the lumber out in the sun to dry.

As if summoned, Taylor walked past, a finger pressed to her lips like a preschool teacher motioning for quiet. Her hair was a symphony of snarls and she wore what appeared to be a man's oversize black shirt.

"Is that the girl you told us about? The one who went mad?" George asked.

"Yeah," Petra said sadly.

"Where'd she get that shirt?" Ahmed asked. He sounded worried.

"Don't know. Taylor, where'd you get the shirt?" Adina asked.

Taylor didn't answer the question. "I just need a few things. A lady has to be prepared," she said before disappearing into Tiara's hut and coming out with a strange collection of beauty products. Then she crouched low like a soldier and broke for the jungle.

A loud shriek came from somewhere on the ship, breaking the spell Taylor's appearance had cast. The girls and pirates raced on board to find Miss Ohio racing out of Captain Sinjin's cabin. He stood behind her with his hands up.

"I swear I didn't touch her." His brow furrowed. "Blimey, maybe that's why she's upset. Sorry, luv. D'you want me to ravish you in proper teen-pirate rock-star fashion? A little lovin' followed by a sensitive emo ballad in which I tell you why I can't be your boyfriend? I know you fancy that Fabio Testosterone bloke. Fair enough. Not bad-looking. Mind, he's not a pirate. But you can't have everything."

"Are you okay?" Shanti asked. She gave Sinjin a dirty look and he blew her a kiss.

"Totally fine!"

"Why did you scream?"

"Look what I found!" Miss Ohio pushed past Sinjin and came back brandishing a bottle of expensive rum. "There's two whole cases in here!"

Adina took a small sip and coughed till Mary Lou had to hit her on the back. "Whoa. Lethal," she choked out.

Sinjin sagged against the doorframe. "That's me b.l.o.o.d.y private stock."

"Not anymore, Cap'n," Petra said, swiping a bottle. "This here's a rum mutiny."

Sinjin smiled slowly as he looked Petra up and down. He stepped closer. "And, um, what if I tried to reestablish my command?"

"That depends. Are you a black belt?"

"No." Sinjin played with the ta.s.sels on Petra's scarf.

"Because I am."

"Right." Sinjin wagged a playful finger as he took a solid step back. "You I like. Give us a kiss, luv."

Petra stopped him with a hand. "Does that work?"

"Does what work?"

"That bulls.h.i.t charm, luv," Petra mimicked perfectly.

Sinjin considered it. "Like a charm."

"Not for me."

"Is that a challenge?" Sinjin smirked.

"No. Statement of fact."

"No likee the charm?"

"Lovee the charm - as long as there's some real behind it. Gotta keep it real, girl, to keep wit me" Petra sang.

"Real like nature, real like a tree. ..." Sinjin twirled and shot his arms upward like branches in perfect imitation of the "Keep It Real, Girl" video.

Petra's mouth opened in astonishment. "You know that song?"

"By heart! Boyz Will B Boyz? Fantastic!"

"Oh. My. G.o.d. But you're not a nine-year-old girl."

"I'm offended. Way to put me in a box. I loved Boyz Will B Boyz. Copied all their moves in m' bedroom. Made m' mum buy me one of those G.o.dawful outfits with the skinny black leggings and the oversize jackets -"

"Bandanna?"

"Cor blimey! Not complete without the bandanna, was it? And the hair." Sinjin pantomimed a long fall of bangs over one eye. "That hair said 's.h.a.g me, I'm too depressed to own a comb.'"

Petra laughed. "There wasn't any s.h.a.gging. We were eleven."

"What?"

"Nothing. So, Boyz Will B Boyz fan," Petra recovered quickly, "did you spend fifth grade getting pummeled?"

"Me? Sinjin St. Sinjin?" The captain waved off the suggestion. "Oh, s.h.i.t yeah. But I stuck to me musical guns. Complete with dance moves. By the way, I hope you note that I am man enough to tell you this. Question is," he purred, "are you woman enough to take it?"

Petra's grin faded. She liked Sinjin, liked his silly humor and the way he didn't take himself too seriously. She wondered what would happen when he knew the truth. Would he be able to see past what was and see what could be?

"There's something I think I should tell you right up front... ."

Loud shouts reverberated in the cabin. George ran down the hall. He looked terrified.

"Cap'n! Cap'n!" he said, out of breath. "It's Charlie."

"What's happened?" Sinjin said, all business.

"We were out in the waves, looking for fish, and he got stung. Jellyfish."

Down the beach, Charlie lay sprawled in the pulsing tide, holding on to his right leg. His calf had begun to swell. "Jellyfish," he said through chattering teeth. "Feels like my leg is on fire."

Nicole pushed her way to his side. "It's okay. I'm a doctor," she said, peeling his fingers away to have a look. "We have to stop the poisons from getting into the bloodstream."

"Hold on, Charlie. I'll wash it off." George cupped his hands under the tide.

"No!" Nicole shouted. "I read this in one of my auntie's journals. You can actually activate the poisons that way."

"I saw something like this on Predators of the Deep Week," Chu said. "Bloke got stung by a jellyfish and his whole leg swelled up like a dirigible. They had to cut his leg clean off to save him."

Charlie moaned in pain.

"Not helpful," Nicole said.

"Please," Charlie said, teeth still chattering. "Please help me."

"What can we do? We have to do something!" Miss Ohio said.

"There is one thing that works," Nicole said.

"What's that?" Ahmed asked.

"Urine."

"Gross," Miss Ohio said.

George shook his head. "I'm not peeing on Charlie."

An argument broke out about who would be willing to step forward and do the deed.

"M' bleedin' leg's on fire! I don't care what you do - just do it!" Charlie screamed, but it was as if everyone had been paralyzed.

"Oh for heaven's sake," Petra groused, marching forward. Quickly, she lifted her skirt, dropped her undies, and peed on Charlie's leg.

"Thank you," Charlie whispered.

"You're welcome," Petra said.

The pirates stood dumbfounded as Petra collected herself and smoothed her skirt back into place. "Take a picture. It'll last longer," she said as she walked away.

Captain Sinjin watched her go, openmouthed. Finally, he broke into a huge, face-breaking grin.

"Bodacious!" he said.

CLa.s.sIFIED.

ISLAND.

20:15 HOURS.

Agent Jones dipped the darts in the liquid Mind's Flower. Since the unfortunate incident with Miss Texas he'd had to replace his stock. It made him feel safe to have them. And considering how screw-the-pooch things were going on the island, he needed something to make him feel safe.

Harris breezed past in a Knicks jersey, a ridiculous sweatband across his head. "Looking a little rough today, Jonesy," Harris said.

Agent Jones did not look up. "Did you fix the manual override system?"

Harris put up his hands in a back-off gesture. "Going to. Got a pickup game with some of the black shirts in a few." Harris faked a jump shot. "Nothing but net."

"Don't do that, Harris. It's cliche."

"What crawled up your a.s.s today?"

"Pirates," Agent Jones answered.

Harris nodded. "Whatever floats your boat. Ha! I made a pun. Get it? Boat? Pirates?"

Agent Jones closed his eyes for a second and tried to cast his mind back to a more pleasant time, when he had helped stage a brutal coup in a small South American republic. Bullets flying. Grenades exploding. Pandemonium and blood and screaming in the streets. And no Harris.

"Don't you have something to do?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I might. You don't think I can handle this, do you?"

Agent Jones did not answer.

"Well, you are going to be surprised. I can handle myself just fine. I already did handle myself. Wait, that came out wrong."

Agent Jones packed away the fourth dart. One more to go.

"Don't you want to know what I did?"

"No."

"Just a little."

"No."

"I'll bet you can't guess -"

"No."

Harris was quiet for a full fifteen seconds.

"Fine, I'll tell you. Remember Benny from product development? The one who came up with our Lady 'Stache Off bomb? I killed him."