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He leaned his head back into the couch cushions.
What the f.u.c.k had he been thinking? Nope, not thinking at all, just letting Mr. Happy lead him along. She just got to him, dammit, like Cecilia got to Jaivon by beating him on that math test and challenging his masculine superiority. He grinned. Good for Cecilia.
Katelyn. First she hated him, then she wanted to be friends, then when he was friendly she got all p.i.s.sed off.
Women.
He sighed. He loved women. And he'd loved Katelyn.
For a while there that night, he'd thought maybe they could be friends. Now he was pretty sure they couldn't. But that was just fine, because he sure as h.e.l.l wasn't looking for love or marriage or long-term. He knew better than anyone that happily ever after didn't exist. So it was better that they weren't friends. It was better that they weren't anything.
Chapter 9.
"How do the trade rumors affect your play? It must be difficult to stay focused on your game with all the talk that's out there."
Poker face. Poker face. Tanner smiled at the woman from CBC Sports, a former Olympic hockey player who was interviewing him after Thursday's game, and gave a casual shrug. "Nah, I pay no attention to the rumors. There's gonna be all kinds of talk and that's got nothing to do with me. I've got a job to do and that's what I'm focused on."
He was lying. He knew what all the rumors were, and the knot in his belly was growing every day that went by with no resolution to things. But he also knew what he had to say in public. h.e.l.l, he couldn't even speak to most of the guys about this s.h.i.t because of the talk that the team was going to have to decide between him and Boosh.
But he wasn't going to let it affect his play. He was a professional and when he stepped on the ice, all the s.h.i.t was blanked out and he was focused on the game. He'd played all out tonight, blocking two shots that he was still feeling and would for a while, and scoring a nice one timer from the blue line to win the game against his former teammates, three-two.
After his usual cooldown, stretch, and shower, he headed out. In the tunnel, the Islanders were loading up their bus to take them to the airport. He spotted his buddy Rich Koslowsky. "Richie!"
Rich turned and grinned. They greeted each other with a bro handshake and hug. "Hey, man, how the h.e.l.l are you?"
"Good! Other than a f.u.c.king sore foot from that shot you took at me."
"a.s.shole." Rich shook his head. "Never saw anyone as fearless as you in front of the net. Fearless or f.u.c.king stupid."
Tanner grinned. "No need to be afraid of your p.u.s.s.y slap shot. How's Lindsay?"
"Good, she's good. Getting huge."
"When's the baby due?"
"End of March."
"c.r.a.ppy timing. Making a playoff run..."
"Yeah, but we're not alone. You know how many babies are conceived in June after the playoffs end?"
"Ha! You're telling me you go all season without s.e.x?"
Rich snorted. "Yeah, right."
"Get on the bus, Richie!"
They both turned at the good-natured shout from the guy standing at the door of the bus now all loaded up with players.
"Better go," Rich said. He clapped a hand on Tanner's shoulder. "Go ice that foot. Next time we play, get the h.e.l.l out of my way."
"As if." He grinned as his friend boarded the bus, then headed out of the arena to his car. On the way he ran into Lovey and Duper leaving. Duper was always one of the last to leave after he did his thing in his suite with the kids he'd invited from one of the local children's hospitals. They walked together.
"Good game, Tanner," Lovey said.
"Thanks."
"So we'll see you tomorrow night for dinner, right?"
"Right." This was the dinner Lovey'd planned for her wedding party. Her cousin and friend were coming in for the weekend. The team had a couple of days between games after tonight, the next game was Sunday night at home, so she'd planned the party for Friday night.
"We're all meeting at Jack's at seven. Take a taxi."
He grinned. "Yes, ma'am."
"So how are those trade rumors affecting your game?" Duper asked with a smirk.
"f.u.c.k off."
"That's not what you told Samantha."
"Yeah, that response would go over well."
"I don't like the trade rumors," Lovey fretted.
"Part of the game, babe," Duper said.
"I know. It could mess up our wedding, though."
"That's what you're worried about?" Duper gaped at her.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm kidding. The wedding's not until June. You'll still show up if you get traded to Anaheim, right, Tanner?"
He caught the teasing glint in her eye. "I don't know, Anaheim's far away. I might be too busy going to Disneyland and lying on the beach."
She gave him a punch in the shoulder that was more affectionate than punishing. "See you tomorrow."
- Tanner didn't bother with a taxi, since the restaurant was within walking distance of his condo. It was definitely a crisp February evening, but not unbearable. His condo was near the river, so he took the River Esplanade, illuminated buildings towering above him and across the river, the lights reflected in the glimmering dark water. His breath puffed out in frosty gusts as he walked. A few blocks north on Michigan, then down Grand Avenue, and he was there.
He pulled off his knit cap and ran a hand over his hair as he entered the restaurant. The place had an old-world elegance, with lots of dark wood and leather and muted lighting. The servers even wore tuxedos. The hostess directed him up the stairs at the far side of the lounge, and he climbed to a mezzanine that had been set up with one long table.
Another hostess took his coat from him, and he unwrapped his scarf and handed his outerwear to her with a smile, then turned to the guests already there-Lovey and Duper, of course; Amber and Army; Lovey's cousin Kendra and friend Randi...and Katelyn.
He hadn't seen her since that kiss last week after the baby shower, but he'd sure as h.e.l.l been thinking about her. She gave him a chilly smile when he said h.e.l.lo.
She was p.i.s.sed. Great.
He met Randi's husband, Anthony, and requested a scotch on the rocks when a server asked for drink orders. The other guests arrived shortly thereafter. He made a bunch of bulls.h.i.t small talk, hyperaware of Katelyn as she did the same, the entire wedding party gathered in one spot, along with their spouses. Even Sidney came, although she said she wouldn't stay long, as she'd left her friend Frankie babysitting and Aubree wasn't taking a bottle very well.
"I know you hockey players are all superst.i.tious, so you should probably know there are thirteen of us," Lovey said as everyone took their seats at the table. "But I promise it will be okay."
They all laughed.
"Thirteen's my lucky number," Tanner said as he searched out the place card with his name. There it was, beside Katelyn's. He gave Lovey a look with raised eyebrows and she smiled innocently at him.
He dropped onto his seat while Katelyn slid into hers. She looked amazing, as always, tonight wearing a sleeveless dress, the color of red wine, that was kind of pleated and bunched-up, so it was tight around her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and waist, and draped around her hips. There was probably some fancy name for the style, but he didn't know what it was.
"Am I allowed to tell you that you look gorgeous?" he asked in a low voice.
"No."
He sighed and took a big gulp of scotch. "You're p.i.s.sed, aren't you?"
"What was your first clue?"
"Possibly the stab wounds in my back every time you look at me."
She snorted softly.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have kissed you."
"No, you shouldn't have. And Lovey shouldn't have seated us next to each other."
"Come on. You said you wanted us to be friends, or at least pretend to be for the sake of the wedding."
"That didn't mean making out in the bride's kitchen!"
He grinned. "My mistake." He caught the twitch of her lips. "Come on, it's not the end of the world."
"It could be. Okay, not the whole world." She turned to him. "It's my professional reputation I'm concerned about. n.o.body wants a wedding planner who makes out with one of the groomsmen in the kitchen."
"Huh." He hadn't thought about that. "Lovey won't say anything." He paused. "Will she?"
"I hope not. I apologized for my lack of professionalism. It can't happen again."
"d.a.m.n."
Her eyes widened.
h.e.l.l, he'd said that out loud. He leaned closer, breathing in her scent, a sultry mix of nectarine and spice. "Also, FYI...you kissed me back."
She sucked in a sharp breath. Then her chin dropped. "I know."
"Katelyn." Her hair obscured her face. "Look at me."
She turned her head without lifting it, pulling her hair back with one hand, and the sweet curve of her cheek made him want to reach out and touch it.
"I lied when I said I was sorry for kissing you. I'm not. But I am sorry if you're upset thinking that Lovey will think less of you because she saw that. If she was worried about it, I doubt she would have sat me next to you." He held her gaze steadily, leaning in closer so n.o.body else would hear him. "Kissing you was exactly like I remember it...sweet. And hot as f.u.c.k."
Her lips parted and her eyes darkened.
"I remembered exactly how you taste," he continued. "How you feel." He whispered the last words next to her ear. "And it was good."
He saw her fingers curl around the napkin on her lap, and sat back before people noticed they were having a decidedly intimate conversation.
Just in time for the champagne Lovey and Duper had apparently ordered. Servers began filling flutes with the golden bubbly.
"Thank you all for joining us tonight!" Lovey said from one end of the table. "It's just a fun evening for us to all meet before the wedding. You groomsmen know each other, but my matron of honor and bridesmaids don't. And also, I wanted you to all meet Katelyn, wedding planner extraordinaire, so you know who is in charge on the wedding day. When she tells you to do something, you listen to her!"
Tanner watched Katelyn smile, her cheeks very pink.
"So let's toast to friendship!" Lovey lifted her gla.s.s.
Everyone followed suit, clinking gla.s.ses and repeating the toast. Tanner turned to Katelyn to touch his gla.s.s to hers. "To friendship?"
She slowly shook her head from side to side. "No, Tanner," she said quietly. "I was wrong. We can't be friends."
He stared at her.
Lovey was still speaking, so he yanked his gaze away from Katelyn.
"We really appreciate you all being a part of our wedding. We booked this room for the evening. For dinner, choose what you like from the menu. We've already ordered appetizers, which they'll be bringing out shortly to pa.s.s around and share, also some wine, you can choose either red or white-"
"Or both," Duper said, and everyone laughed.
Lovey continued, "So just have fun." She lifted her gla.s.s again.
Tanner rubbed his face. Across the table, Hughie was flirting with Jillian. What a dog.
Army and Duper were having an argument about how big a slob Army was after Duper had moved out and left him living alone. Apparently Duper was a neat freak who kept the place clean when they were roommates. Everyone was doing just like Lovey had asked-having fun. Except him and Katelyn.
She was close enough that he could reach out and touch her and it took all his willpower not to do that. To cup her bare knee. Slide his hand up her thigh. Stroke her forearm.
Christ.
"What did that mean?" he finally asked, again keeping his voice low. "That we can't be friends."
"I mean...being friends with you is too dangerous."
He frowned.