Aunt Judy's Tales Part 14

"'Forget, sir? no, that's not possible,' answered

Mr. Franz in a great hurry, as he ran off to catch the post-wagon; for they could see it in the distance beginning to move, though part of the young gentleman's luggage was on board.

"Well! he was just in time; but what do you think was the next thing he did, after keeping the people waiting? A sudden thought struck him, that it would be as well for the driver and pa.s.sengers to know how well educated he had been, so he began to give the driver a few words of geographical information about the roads they were going.

"'Jump in directly, sir, if you please,' was the driver's gruff reply.

"'Certainly not, till I've made you understand what I mean,' says Master Franz, quite facetiously. But, then, smack went the whip, and the horses gave a jolt forwards, and over the tip of the learned young gentleman's foot went the front wheel.

"It was a nasty squeeze, though it might have been worse, but Franz called out very angrily, something or other about 'disgraceful carelessness,' on which the driver smacked his whip again, and shouted:-

"'Gentlemen that won't keep out of the way, must expect to have their toes trodden on.' Everybody laughed at this, but Franz was obliged to spring inside, without taking any notice of the joke, as the coach was now really going on; and if he had began to talk, he would have been left behind.

"And now," continued Aunt Judy, stopping herself, "while Franz is jolting along to the capital town of the country, you shall tell me whose advice you think he followed when he got to the end of the journey, and began life for himself--his father's or his mother's?"

There was a universal cry, mixed with laughter, of "His mother's!"

"Quite right," responded Aunt Judy. "His mother's, of course. It was far the most agreeable, no doubt. Keeping out of the way is a rather difficult thing for young folks to manage."

A glance at No. 8 caused that young gentleman's face to grin all over, and Aunt Judy proceeded:-

"After his arrival at the great hotel of the town, he found there was to be a public dinner there that evening, which anybody might go to, who chose to pay for it; and this he thought would be a capital opportunity for him to begin life: so, accordingly, he went up- stairs to dress himself out in his very best clothes for the occasion.

"And then it was that, as he sat in front of the gla.s.s, looking at his own face, while he was brushing his hair and whiskers, and brightening them up with bear's-grease, he began to think of his father and mother, and what they had said, and what he had best do.

"'An excellent, well-meaning couple, of course, but as old-fashioned as the clocks they used to mend,' was his first thought. 'As to papa, indeed, the poor old gentleman thinks the world has stood still since he was a young man, thirty years ago. His stiff notions were all very well then, perhaps, but in these advanced times they are perfectly quizzical. Keep out of the way, indeed! Why, any ignoramus can do that, I should think! Well, well, he means well, all the same, so one must not be severe. As to mamma now--poor thing--though she IS behindhand herself in many ways, yet she DOES know a good thing when she sees it, and that's a great point. She can appreciate the probable results of my very superior education and appearance. To be sure, she's a little silly over that nose affair;- -but women will always be silly about something.'

"Nevertheless, at this point in his meditations, Master Franz might have been seen inclining his head down on one side, just as his mother had recommended, and then giving a look at the mirror, to see whether the vile turn-up did really disappear in that att.i.tude. I suspect, however, that he did not feel quite satisfied about it, for he got rather cross, and finished his dressing in a great hurry, but not before he had settled that there could be only one opinion as to whose advice he should be guided by--dear mamma's.

"'Should it fail,' concluded he to himself, as he gave the last smile at the looking-gla.s.s, 'there will be poor papa's old-world notion to fall back upon, after all.'

"Now, you must know that Master Franz had never been at one of these public dinners before, so there is no denying that when he entered the large dining-hall, where there was a long table, set out with plates, and which was filling fast with people, not one of whom he knew, he felt a little confused. But he repeated his mother's words softly to himself, and took courage: 'DON'T BE SHY AND DOWNCAST WHEN YOU COME AMONG STRANGERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT, WITH YOUR ADVANTAGES, IS TO MAKE YOURSELF AGREEABLE;' and, on the strength of this, he pa.s.sed by the lower end of the table, where there were several unoccupied places, and walked boldly forward to the upper end, where groups of people were already seated, and were talking and laughing together.

"In the midst of one of these groups, there was one unoccupied seat, and in the one next to it sat a beautiful, well-dressed young lady.

'Why, this is the very thing,' thought Mr. Franz to himself. 'Who knows but what this is the young lady who is to make my fortune?'

"There was a card, it is true, in the plate in front of the vacant seat, but 'as to that,' thought Franz, 'first come, first served, I suppose; I shall sit down!'

"And sit down the young gentleman accordingly did in the chair by the beautiful young lady, and even bowed and smiled to her as he did so.

"But the next instant he was tapped on the shoulder by a waiter.

"'The place is engaged, sir!' and the man pointed to the card in the plate.

"'Oh, if that's all,' was Mr. Franz's witty rejoinder, 'here's another to match!' and thereupon he drew one of his own cards from his pocket, threw it into the plate, and handed the first one to the astonished waiter, with the remark:-

"'The place is engaged, my good friend, you see!'

"The young goose actually thought this impudence clever, and glanced across the table for applause as he spoke. But although Mamma Watchmaker, if she had heard it, might have thought it a piece of astonishing wit, the strangers at the public table were quite of a different opinion, and there was a general cry of 'Turn him out!'

"'Turn me out!' shouted Mr. Franz, jumping up from his chair, as if he intended to fight them all round; and there is no knowing what more nonsense he might not have talked, but that a very sonorous voice behind him called out,--a hand laying hold of him by the shoulders at the same time -

"'Young man, I'll trouble you to get out of my chair, and' (a little louder) 'out of my way, and' (a little louder still) 'to KEEP out of my way!'

"Franz felt himself like a child in the grasp of the man who spoke; and one glimpse he caught of a pair of coal-black eyes, two frowning eye-brows, and a moustachioed mouth, nearly frightened him out of his wits, and he was half way down the room before he knew what was happening; for, after the baron let him go, the waiter seized him and hustled him along, till he came to the bottom of the table; where, however, there was now no room for him, as all the vacant places had been filled up; so he was pushed finally to a side-table in a corner, at which sat two men in foreign dresses, not one word of whose language he could understand.

"These two fellows talked incessantly together too, which was all the more mortifying, because they gesticulated and laughed as if at some capital joke. Franz was very quiet at first, for the other adventure had sobered him, but presently, with his mother's advice running in his head, he resolved to make himself agreeable, if possible.

"So, at the next burst of merriment, he affected to have entered into the joke, threw himself back in his chair and laughed as loudly as they did. The men stared for a second, then frowned, and then one of them shouted something to him very loudly, which he did not understand; so he placed his hand on his heart, put on an expressive smile, and offered to shake hands. Thought he, that will be irresistible! But he was mistaken. The other man now called loudly to the waiter, and a moment after, Franz found himself being conveyed by the said waiter through the doorway into the hall, with the remark resounding in his ears:-

"'What a foolish young gentleman you must be! Why can't you keep out of people's way?'

"'My good friend,' cried Mr. Franz, 'that's not my plan at present.

I'm trying to make myself agreeable.'

"'Oh--pooh!--bother agreeable,' cried the waiter. 'What's the use of making yourself agreeable, if you're always in the way? Here!--step back, sir! don't you see the tray coming?'

"Franz had not noticed it, and would probably have got a thump on the head from it, if his friend the waiter had not pulled him back. The man was a real good-natured, smiling German, and said:-

"'Come, young gentleman, here's a candle;--you've a bed-room here, of course. Now, you take my advice, and go to bed. You WILL be out of the way there, and perhaps you'll get up wiser to-morrow.'

"Franz took the candlestick mechanically, but, said he:-

"'I understood there was to be dancing here tonight, and I can dance, and--'

"'Oh, pooh! bother dancing,' interrupted the waiter. 'What's the use of dancing, if you're to be in everybody's way, and I know you will; you can't help it. Here, be advised for once, and go to bed. I'll bring you up some coffee before long. Go quietly up now--mind. Good night.'

"Two minutes afterwards, Mr. Franz found himself walking up-stairs, as the waiter had ordered him to do, though he muttered something about 'officious fellow' as he went along.

"And positively he went to bed, as the officious fellow recommended; and while he lay there waiting for the coffee, he began wondering what COULD be the cause of the failure of his attempts to make himself agreeable. Surely his mother was right--surely there could be no doubt that, with his advantages--but he did not go on with the sentence.

"Well, after puzzling for some time, a bright thought struck him. It was entirely owing to that stupid nose affair, which his mother was so silly about. Of course that was it! He had done everything else she recommended, but he could not keep his head down at the same time, so people saw the snub! Well, he would practise the att.i.tude now, at any rate, till the coffee came!

"No sooner said than done. Out of bed jumped Mr. Franz, and went groping about for the table to find matches to light the candle.

But, unluckily, he had forgotten how the furniture stood, so he got to the door by a mistake, and went stumbling up against it, just as the waiter with the coffee opened it on the other side.

"There was a plunge, a shout, a shuffling of feet, and then both were on the floor, as was also the hot coffee, which scalded Franz's bare legs terribly.

"The waiter got up first, and luckily it was the 'officious fellow'

with the smiling face. And said he:-

"'What a miserable young man you must be, to be sure! Why, you're NEVER out of the way, not even when you're gone to bed!'

This last anecdote caused an uproar of delight in the fly, and so much noise, that Aunt Judy had to call the party to order, and talk about the horses being frightened, after which she proceeded:-

"I am sorry to say Mr. Franz did not get up next morning as much wiser as the waiter had expected, for he laid all the blame of his misfortunes on his nose instead of his impertinence, and never thought of correcting himself, and being less intrusive.

"On the contrary, after practising holding his head down for ten minutes before the gla.s.s, he went out to the day's amus.e.m.e.nts, as saucy and confident as ever.