As If You Never Left Me Part 18

Closing her eyes, she let herself do the one thing she hadn't allowed herself to do since she'd walked out on Rey at the lodge. She thought about him. Not just about him in general. About the way his fingers felt, trailing over her skin. The way his mouth fit against hers. His tongue tracing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. The sweet slide of his body entering hers. The way her heart had expanded, warmed, pounded, as she looked up into his desire darkened eyes. The sounds, the smell, the touch of him. The warmth of him asleep in bed beside her.

Tears gathered in her eyes. She picked up the phone and dialed Lisette's home number.

"Lisette?" she said to the other woman's answering, "h.e.l.lo."

"Yes."

"This is Joely Birch."

"Joely, I'm so glad to hear from you-"

"Lisette," Joely broke in. "I'm sorry, Lisette. I can't do it. Tell Rey if you have to. I just can't do it."

Uncertain of her own resolve, she hung up before Lisette could protest.

It got better after a while. By Thanksgiving, Joely felt like she'd fallen back into her old patterns. She ate

turkey and played Trivial Pursuit at Perry's house, then, back home, spent an hour on the phone with her mother, talking about anything but Rey. The world started to look friendly again.

Which was, of course, when it happened.

Wednesdays were usually quiet at the shop, even this close to Christmas, so Joely was surprised when Perry came fluttering into the office, looking frantic. a.s.suming a crowd of customers had just arrived, Joely said, "I'll be right there."

"No, Joely," said Perry. Her voice squeaked strangely. "It's him again. It's Rey." Joely stared at her. "You have got to be kidding." "No way. I'd recognize that a.s.s anywhere." Joely straightened the papers on her desk, then wondered why she'd done it. Thinking only marginally more clearly, she stood, straightened her hair, and went for the door. With her hand gripping the k.n.o.b,she threw a last, desperate look back at Perry. "Go!" said Perry. "Kill the man if you have to, but go!"

Joely went.

It was deja vu all over again. Rey stood next to the display of wolf-themed pots-only two of which had sold since his first appearance-only this time he wore jeans and a New York Knicks sweatshirt instead of an Armani suit. He looked better in the jeans.

"Rey," she said, frustrated by the tremble in her voice.

He turned. His normally neat hair had grown a little too long, just enough to make him look unkempt. He looked tired, and carried a thick manila envelope in one hand. "This alt.i.tude's a b.i.t.c.h," he said with a pained smile. She only chewed her lip, trying hard not to remember the effect the alt.i.tude had had on him before, how he'd slept there in front of her, his face soft and quiet as a little boy's. He gave a helpless shrug. "I guess you don't want to talk to me. I don't blame you." He lifted the envelope. "There are some things in here for you to look at. About the lawsuit against Cherokee, and some other things. I'm staying downtown. Give me a call when you've signed everything." She took the envelope. "You could have mailed these. You didn't have to come all the way out here." The pain in his eyes made her flinch. "Yes, I did." He took a step backward, toward the door. He smiled a little but the pain hadn't changed. Joely blinked and swallowed. She refused to cry in front of him. Or behind him, as he turned toward the door. Or about him, as the door closed behind him. She stood still for far too long, staring at the closed door, before she heard the creak of hinges behind her.

"Joely?" came Perry's hesitant voice. "Is he gone?"

Joely nodded, coming back to herself. "He's gone."

She walked back behind the counter and headed into the office. The tears had faded and she felt stable

again, but her hands still shook as she drew a pile of legal papers out of the long envelope.

"What is it?" Perry asked.

Joely looked up to see her friend watching around the edge of the door. "I don't know. Something to do

with the suit against Cherokee Ceramics, he said." But another set of papers fluttered out, papers she recognized. She swallowed, staring at them as they drifted to the floor.

The divorce papers. With his signature scrawled across the bottom.

Her face must have gone as bleak as her heart, because Perry said, "Do you want me to stay?"

"Yeah. Maybe."

Perry propped the door open so they could hear the bell on the front door, then took a seat across from Joely at the desk. She picked up the divorce papers and held them tentatively out to Joely.

"Just lay them down," Joely said. "I'll look at that later."

Forcing her gaze away from the divorce papers, she focused her attention on the rest of the envelope's contents. On top were doc.u.ments pertaining to a cla.s.s action lawsuit against Cherokee Ceramics. She glanced over them.

"Oh, my G.o.d."

"What?" said Perry.

"They've agreed to settle out of court. All I have to do is sign some papers and I'll get a cash

reimburs.e.m.e.nt."

"How much?"

Joely showed Perry the sum.

"Wow. That'll pay the rent for a while."

"It certainly will."

Joely gave the figure one last, unbelieving look, then went to the next doc.u.ment. She couldn't imagine

what else he might have for her.

She read the next sheet, but at first it didn't make any sense. She held it out to Perry. "Is this what I

think it is?"

Perry looked perplexed, as well. "It's a letter of resignation. Rey quit his job?"

"Why would he do that?" She flipped through the remaining papers, searching for an explanation. The

next stack was more pertaining to the lawsuit, but under that was a sheet of blue-lined notebook paper, filled with Rey's neat, thin handwriting. Tears sprang to Joely's eyes. She dashed them away in irritation. She didn't want to cry. Not over him. Not again.

"Read it?" Perry asked, but Joely shook her head. She needed Perry's emotional support, but she was afraid if she read the letter aloud she'd be in tears after a matter of words. Joely, the letter began. As you can see, I've quit my job. If you don't believe I'm serious now, you never will. I want to work this out. We need to talk. Call me at my hotel. A downtown number followed. If you truly think there's no hope, I've signed the papers so you can file them.

"Not much here, after all," she mumbled, handing the letter to Perry. She added the divorce papers neatly to the rest of the envelope's contents and slid everything else back into the envelope. "I don't want to talk to him," she said firmly.

Perry tilted an eyebrow at her over the top of the letter. "You're sure about that?"

"No."

When Rey had been standing there in the shop, she'd wanted more than anything else to touch him. To

slip her fingers through his untidy hair, to slide her hands under his sweater. She'd never had that kind of chemistry with another man, and doubted she ever would. A life without Rey would mean a life without something unutterably precious.

But so, so painful if it didn't work.

"What are you going to do?" Perry finally said softly into the silence.

Joely scrubbed her forehead. "I don't know." She managed a weak smile. "I'll keep you posted."

Perry's return smile was a little sad. She squeezed Joely's hand. "Whatever you decide, I'll be here."

"Thanks."

She went home, ate dinner, watched the weather. It seemed to be a necessary ritual before making a decision. Finally, still unsure whether it was supposed to snow tomorrow, she picked up the phone.

"Okay," she said to Rey when he answered. "Let's talk. When can you come up?"

"I'm not coming up." His voice was taut. "You come here."

His insistence took her aback. "Why?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

She chewed her lip. "Okay. Fine." She looked at the clock. "I can come down tonight."

"Great." His voice had relaxed a little. "Have you had dinner?"

"Yes."

"Then I guess you can just meet me at the hotel."

"Okay. It's going to take me at least an hour and a half."

"Take your time. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

This touched her for some reason. With his voice going furry around the words, it sounded like he really meant it. Her own voice sounded furry when she spoke again, though for different reasons. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

The ride down the mountain was surreal. In the darkness and occasionally light traffic, there were times when it seemed hers was the only car on the highway, flying over the hills and through the wide curves like a roller coaster in the dark.

Closer to town, the traffic increased. She found herself watching the cars rush by, wondering if anyone else was in as much turmoil as she was. Where were they going? Meeting a lover for an illicit affair? Taking a child to the hospital? Even going home after a long day's work had its own drama. Every car held its own story. Hers was, perhaps, no more dramatic than any of the others.

She tightened her hands on the steering wheel at the thought. Other people had been through this kind of thing and had survived. People even now, possibly in that blue Dodge that had just moved into her lane, were going through even worse. Whatever happened, she would get through it.

By the time she pulled into the parking lot of Rey's hotel, she was calmer again. She picked up the envelope full of papers, slung her purse over her shoulder, and walked firmly up to the front door.

Rey sat in the lobby. Sighting her, he stood and smiled softly. All her calm control wavered and she clenched her teeth in a desperate attempt to hang onto it. Keeping her stride firm, she crossed the room

to him, noting with some irritation that he hadn't bothered to move at all. The irritation rose until she wasn't sure if she was scared, apprehensive, or just plain mad.

"Let's go upstairs, shall we?" He made an inviting gesture toward the elevators.

Not trusting herself to say anything, Joely headed in the direction he indicated. In silence, they rode the

elevator up, walked down the hallway to Rey's room.

By the time he closed the door behind them, Joely had sorted through her emotions and decided she was, indeed, angry. "This is nice, Rey," she grated. "Drag me all the way down the mountain and don't even talk to me." He regarded her calmly. "Did you read the papers?" "Yes." "All of them?" "Yes." Nodding, he crossed to the bed and sat on it. She stood in front of him, clutching the envelope. "Since you drove down here," he went on, "I a.s.sume you didn't go ahead and sign the divorce papers?" "No, I didn't." He nodded again. She watched, perplexed, as he lifted another legal-sized manila envelope from the nightstand. "Good. Then I have another proposal." He held the envelope out to her. "You might want to take a look at this." Joely didn't want to take a look at anything. Flinging her envelope onto the bed, she planted her fists against her hips. "No, I don't think I do. What is this, Rey?"

"It's a pre-re-nup, I guess."

She gaped. "You want to get back together but you want to put conditions on it?"

"You could say that."