Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife Part 31

Robert Strong said that some thought it wuz built for astronomical purposes, for there is a pa.s.sage down three hundred and twenty feet from the bed rock from which you can view the sky.

"And some think," sez Dorothy, "it wuz built to measure distances correctly, it stands true east, north, south, west."

And Miss Meechim sez, "I believe it wuz built for religious purposes: the interior pa.s.sages have many stones and symbols that are a mystery to every one unless it is explained in this way."

Sez Arvilly, "I believe it wuz made to shet up folks in that got drunk and acted. Probable there wuz some even in that fur-off time that made fools of themselves jest as they do now, and old Chops built it to shet 'em up in, and mebby he wuz shet up in it, too; mebby he took to drinkin'. I wish I could have sold him the 'Twin Crimes'; it would have helped him a sight, but I wuzn't born soon enough," sez she, sithin'.

Tommy stood back a little, lookin' up and seein' some people half-way to the top, lookin' like flies on the side of the meetin' house, said:

"I wonner, oh, I wonner who made it and what it wuz made for, and oh, how I do wonner how they ever got them big stones to the top."

And I sez to myself, "the child is wiser than any of us. He don't try to measure his weak surmises on them great rocks and problems, but jest wonders at it all," and I thought I would foller his example, and I felt considerable better after I gin up.

Robert Strong and Dorothy and Arvilly clumb clear to the top, helped by Arab lifters and boosters. Arvilly and Dorothy wuz tuckered when they come down and they both said they wouldn't have undertook it if they had known what a job it wuz, but they said the view from the top wuz wonderful, wonderful! and I spoze it wuz, but I thought I would ruther hear 'em tell on't than to go through what they did gettin' up and down, and Miss Meechim, I guess, felt so too.

The other two pyramaids in this group wuz smaller than Cheops and stood not fur away. The Sphynx stands about a quarter of a mild off, lookin' off towards the east, facin' the risin' sun. I wonder if she expects the sunrise of civilization to dawn ag'in into her sight.

'Tennyrate she seems to be lookin' out for sunthin'.

There she has sot, meditatin' all these years. She wuz old, old as the hills when Christ wuz born. What hain't them old eyes seen if she senses anything?

From Cairo we went to Alexandria, where we made a short stay; we couldn't stay long anyway, we had loitered so on the journey. Here it wuz June. Jerusalem and Bethlehem and Nazareth we must visit, and still how could we hurry our footsteps in these sacred places that our soul had so longed to see?

Alexandria was considerable interestin' on several accounts; it wuz the home of Cleopatra, and the home of Hypatia, the friend and teacher of women. A smart creeter Hypatia Theon wuz, handsome as a picter, modest, good appearin', and a good talker. 'Tennyrate the rooms where she lectured on philosophy and how to git along in the world wuz crowded with appreciative hearers, and I spoze Mr. Cyrel, who wuz preachin' there at the time, and didn't get nigh so many to hear him, wuz mad as a hen at her for drawin' away the head men and wimmen. 'Tennyrate she wuz killed and burnt up some time ago, a-goin'

on two thousand years. Yes, they burnt up all they could of her; they couldn't burn up her memory, nor liberty, nor the love of wimmin for talkin', and her stiddy practice on't when she gits a chance, not bein' able to. But to resoom:

The evenin' we got there Josiah looked out of our winder and see a camel kneelin' to take on its load, and sez Josiah: "If I could train the old mair to kneel down in front of the Jonesville meetin' house for me to git onto her back, how uneek it would look."

Sez I coldly, "Then you lay out to go to meetin' horseback, do you?

And where should I be?"

"Oh, I might rent a camel for you from some circus; you know what big loads camels can take on, they can carry a ton or more, and it could carry you all right."

I despise such talk, I don't weigh nigh so much as he makes out.

But Josiah went on, "I d'no but a camel could carry both on us, I wouldn't add much to the load, I don't weigh very hefty."

"No," sez I, "you're not very hefty anyway."

But good land! I knew he couldn't rent any camel; circuses need 'em more than we do.

The next day we all went out to see Pompey's Piller which we had seen towerin' up before we landed, all on 'em ridin' donkeys but me, but I not being much of a hand to ride on any critter's back, preferred to go in a chair with long poles on each side, carried by four Arabs.

Pompey's Piller is most a hundred feet high. Cleopatra's Needles wuz brought from Heliopolis. One is standing; the other, which lay for a long time nearly embedded in the drifting sand, wuz given as a present by Egypt to America, where it stands now in Central Park, New York. To see the mate to it here made us feel well acquainted with it and kinder neighborly. But we couldn't read the strange writin' on it to save our life. Some say that they wuz raised by Cleopatra in honor of the birth of her son, Caesarion. But I d'no if she laid out to write about it so's I could read it, she'd ort to write plainer; I couldn't make out a word on't nor Josiah couldn't.

Cleopatra wuz dretful good lookin', I spoze, and a universal favorite with the opposite sect. But I never approved of her actions, and I wished as I stood there by that piller of hern that I could gin her a real good talkin' to. I would say to her:

"Cleopatra," sez I, "you little know what you're a-doin'. Mebby there wouldn't be so many Dakota and Chicago divorces in 1905 if it wuzn't for your cuttin' up and actin' in B. C. I'd say stealin' is stealin', and some wimmen think it is worse to steal their husbands away from 'em than it would be to steal ten pounds of b.u.t.ter out of their suller. And that, mom, would shet any woman up in jail as you well know. And you know, Cleopatra," sez I, "jest how you went on and behaved, and your example is a-floatin' down the River of Time to-day, same as you sailed down the Sydnus in that barge of yourn. And to-day your descendants or influence posterity sail down the River of Time in picture hats and feather boas, makin' up eyes and castin' languishin'

glances towards poor unguarded men till they steal their hearts and souls right out of their bodies; steal all the sweetness and brightness out of some poor overworked woman's life, and if they don't take the body of their husband nothin' is said or done. Good land!

what would I care for Josiah Allen's body if his love had been stole.

I would tell the woman to take that in welcome sence she had all the rest. But they sail along down the River of Life, coquettin' with weak, handsome male Antonys, who had better be to home with their own lawful Octavias. So it goes." I always hated Cleopatra's doin's. And I wondered as I looked dreamily at that writin' of hern, if she wuz sorry for her actions now in that spear of hern, wherever it wuz, and wanted to ondo it.

CHAPTER XXIV

We stayed there for some time, and on our way home a dretful thing happened to me. After we all got started, sunthin' happened to one of the poles of my chair, and with as much motionin' and jabberin' as a presidential election would call for, they at last got it fixed agin.

By that time the party had all disappeared, and the bearers of my vehicle started off at their highest speed right acrost ploughed land and springin' crops and everything, not stoppin' for anything.

Where wuz they takin' me? Wuz I to perish in these wilds? Wuz they carryin' me off for booty? I had on my cameo pin and I trembled. It wuz my pride in Jonesville; wuz I to lose my life for it? Or wuz it my good looks that wuz ondoin' of me? Did they want to make me their brides? I sez to them in agonizin' axents, "Take me back instantly to my pardner! He is the choice of my youth! I will never wed another!

You hain't congenial to me anyway! It is vain for you to elope with me for I will never be your brides!"

But they jabbered and motioned and acted and paid no attention only to rush along faster than ever.

I then tried a new tact with 'em. With tremblin' fingers I onpinned the cameo pin, and with a n.o.ble jester that would have become Jeptha as he gin his only daughter for a sacrifice, I handed it out to 'em.

And sez I, "If that is what you want, take it, and then bear me back safely to my beloved pardner agin."

But they never touched it. They only jabbered away louder and more fierce like and yanked me along faster than ever.

Oh, the agony of that time! Dear Josiah, should I never see thee agin?

and the children and the grandchildren? Hills and dells of lovely Jonesville! Would they never dawn on my vision more! Would the old mair never whinner joyfully at my appearance, or Snip bark a welcome?

I thought of all the unfortunate Hebrew wimmen who would have been neighbors to me then if I had been born soon enough. Ruth, Esther, Hagar, they all had suffered, they had all most likely looked off onto the desert, even as I wuz lookin' for help, and it didn't come to some on 'em. And by this time to add to my sufferin's, the mantilly of night was descendin' over the seen, the tropical night that comes so swift, so fast, oh, what should I do? Every move I made, every despairin' jester only seemed to make 'em go faster, so it wuz plain to be seen that my help wuz not in man. I thought of that pillar of fire that had lighted that sad procession of Hebrews acrost that very desert. And, like a cool, firm hand, laid on a feverish, restless foretop, come agin the thought of them three wise men that had trod that desert waste. No path, no guide to lead 'em, only the Star, and I sez in my inmost heart:

"That Star hain't lost its light; it remains jest as bright and clear to-day as it did then to light true believers acrost the darkness in the hour of their need." And jest as plain as though they wuz spoke to me come these beautiful words: "I will lift up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help."

And I lifted my streamin' eyes accordin', for by this time I wuz cryin' and sheddin' tears. I could see by the faint light in the west that there wuz considerable of a hill on the east of me, and as my weepin' eyes wuz lifted in that direction my heart almost stood still as I beheld all of a sudden a glowin' star of light shine out of the darkness right on the top of that hill and rapidly desend in my direction nearer and nearer.

Oh, joy! oh, bliss! it wuz my own pardner with a lantern. His devoted love had bore him back. Settin' on a donkey bearin' a lantern, he looked to me like an angel. It wuz the star of love, indeed it wuz!

the brightest star of earth come to light my dark pathway. And I bust out:

"Oh, Josiah Allen! you are not one of the wise men, but you look better to me than any of 'em could."

And he sez, "It don't look very pretty for you, after hangin' out till this time o' night, to run the one who has come way back after you with a lantern, and talk about his not knowin' anything."

"Run you, Josiah," sez I, "you look more beautiful to me than words can tell."

That mollified him and he sez with a modest smile, "I spoze I am very pretty lookin', but I worried about you a sight."

It seems that they had went on a pretty good jog, and seein' my bearers had got belated with me they had took a short cut acrost the fields to overtake 'em. But it was a eppisode not to be forgot, and I told Josiah not to be separated away from me a minute after this. Sez I, "I almost feel like purchasin' a rope and tyin' myself to you for the rest of the tower."

Sez he, "That would make talk, Samantha, but I will keep my eye on you and not let you git carried off agin; for the feelin's I felt when I missed you I would not go through agin for a dollar bill."

Well, we soon come up with the rest of the party. It seemed that they had been talkin' and havin' such a good time they hadn't missed me for quite a while. But when they did, Arvilly said Josiah acted some as he did when she and he pursued me acrost the continent; sez she, "He acted like a fool; I knew you couldn't be fur behind."

And I sez, "Arvilly, spiritual things are spiritually discerned; love is spiritual and love has to interpret it."

"Well," sez she, "I am glad he found you so soon, for, to tell the truth, I wuz beginnin' to worry a little myself."