Anthony Lyveden Part 3

_You are friends with a footman, Toby. You need not deny it, because I know better. You see, I have been in service for one week to-day._

_My mistress is indescribable--a very mammoth among women. Except during prohibited hours, her replica may be seen behind the saloon-bar of any public-house in, say, Bethnal Green. Below stairs she is known as "the dream-child." My master appears to have married, not so much beneath him as beyond him. He is "something in the City." This is as well, for he is nothing in Lancaster Gate. I like him rather._

_You would get on with the butler, who is addicted to drink. The ladies of the servants' hall are rather trying, but mean well. The chauffeur is a most superior man. In fact, except that he has been twice convicted of felony and continually boasts of his successful desertion from the Army in 1917, there is nothing against him. My work would be comparatively light if the unfortunate resemblance, to which I have alluded above, were less p.r.o.nounced. In a word, the butler's working day finishes at 2 p.m., and on two occasions I have had to repair to "The Blue Goat" as late as seven-thirty to hale him out of the tap-room in time for dinner. His carriage in the dining-room, when he can hardly see, is one of the wonders of the world._

_Of course I go out with the car--usually to a wedding. The solemnization of matrimony, especially if one of the parties is of n.o.ble birth, draws the dream-child as a magnet the steel. Need I say that she is an uninvited guest? Yesterday, at the wedding of a young Marquess, she was stopped at the doors. "Lef me card at 'ome," was her majestic reply. Before they had recovered she was in the aisle.

Having regard to her appearance, I am of opinion that such conduct is libellous._

_On Monday she gave what she calls a "Serciety Crush." This was well attended, chiefly by aliens, many of whom wore miniature decorations, to which, I fear, they were not ent.i.tled. These were, I fancy, hired with the dress-coats to which they were fastened. That they enjoyed the viands is emphasized by the fact that, prior to their departure, several of the guests concealed about their persons such delicacies as the flight of time alone had prevented them from consuming. But for the indisposition of the butler, I should have spent a most amusing evening._

_Little altercations between my master and mistress are of frequent occurrence. Occasionally they appeal to me to settle the dispute.

Once I actually took the liberty of separating them. Indeed, as recently as yesterday evening the dream-child, who had been keeping up her reading, observed that "the rilewise was thinkin' of givin' up the narrer gorge."_

_"Gage, me dear--gage," says Mr. Slumper._

_"That's right," says his wife with hideous irony. "Put yer betters to rights, Schooly. Ugh, I wonder yer dare! An' wot do you know about it, you hugly worm?"_

_Stung to the quick by the painful accuracy of this appellative, her husband was understood to mutter that he had rather be an ill-favoured worm than an overdressed parrot with a swollen head._

_Only waiting to throw a gla.s.s of water in his direction, the dream-child demanded my ruling in a voice shaking with indignation._

_I immediately declared in favour of "gouge"--a decision for which Mr.

Slumper, to whom victory is even more terrible than defeat, will thank me yet._

_Of such is my life. Either Sat.u.r.day or Sunday afternoon I go off duty. Then I dive into the country and visit my dog, who is well cared for. We spend a hilarious few hours, and Lancaster Gate is never mentioned. In the servants' hall, by the way, I am credited with a delicate wife--an impression which I have taken care not to correct, for where there are gathered together eight single ladies,_ les avantages de manage _cannot be over-estimated._

_And now I must take up the tea._

_If ever you receive this letter, find time to reply. I know I have spoken ill of your hand-writing, but I take it all back._

Bien a toi, vieux sot, _ANTHONY LYVEDEN._

Anthony, then, was surveying himself, if you remember, in a long mirror. He had just taken up the tea. He was taking a second look at what he could see of his back, when the front-door bell rang. Even at this elevation there was no mistaking its deep peremptory note.

Lyveden descended the stairs.

He opened the door faultlessly to find himself face to face with a man who had been his first servant when his battery had been in France.

For a moment the two footmen stared at one another. Then--

"Glad to see you, Walters," said Lyveden heartily.

"Same to you, sir," said Walters, touching his hat. "An', beggin' your pardon, sir, is Lady 'Elen at 'ome?"

"There's no Lady Helen here," said Lyveden. "This is Mrs. Slumper's house."

"Oh, very good, sir," said Walters jerkily. "Sorry to 'ave troubled you, sir." He touched his hat and turned away nervously....

Anthony continued to hold the door open till the car should have pa.s.sed on.

Walters was making his report. It appeared that this was unsatisfactory, for a moment later he was again at the door.

"Excuse me, sir, but would you speak to my lady?"

Lyveden descended the steps.

From the luxury of a smart landaulette a dame of some consequence regarded him shrewdly. She had, of course, witnessed the comedy upon the steps.

"Who lives here?" she demanded haughtily.

Lyveden drew himself up.

"Mrs. Slumper, madam."

His statement was received with an irrational suspicion.

"Indeed! I didn't know that Lady Helen Amiens had let her house."

"Neither, madam, did I."

The great lady stared at Anthony, who looked straight ahead. Then--

"I--I beg your pardon," she murmured.

Anthony bowed and turned on his heel. As he pa.s.sed Walters, who was standing wide-eyed, the latter touched his hat faithfully.

When the car had pa.s.sed on, Anthony closed the door thoughtfully. It had not occurred to him that the house had been hired as it stood.

Certainly the Slumpers had given no hint of such a state of affairs.

Probably they felt it to be beneath their dignity. It being no affair of his, Lyveden decided to keep his own counsel.

Two days later Anthony visited Patch for the second time.

The same relentless train that had rushed the two down to Hertfordshire that dreadful Thursday had become an easy-going friend. By pocketing his lunch, Lyveden could catch it with anything under five minutes to spare. This gave the two another three-quarters of an hour.

Their second meeting was a replica of the first.

Anthony was admitted, announced his desire, and sat down in the dim hall. Presently a brisk familiar step made itself heard--firm little paws meeting the tough linoleum squarely--and Anthony rose to his feet.

Out of a pa.s.sage came Patch readily, the fair-haired girl behind him bidding him go ahead. For a moment he looked about him. Then he saw Lyveden, stiffened and stood stock still. The next second, with his body clapped to the floor, he had darted sharply across and, laying his head sideways, crouched at his idol's feet--an adoring suppliant, craving to be raised.

"Why, Patch----"

The white sc.r.a.p quivered and flung up a panting visage. Lyveden stooped and gathered him in his arms. The terrier licked his face frantically. Then he squirmed like a mad thing till he was down, tore to a basket of logs, and of his strength brought a billet gripped in his big mouth and laid it at Anthony's feet.

The girl laughed merrily.

"What did I tell you?" said Lyveden. "It's just the way of his heart.

I must always have a present when I have been away."