An Irish Country Christmas Part 53

Today's medical graduate would not recognize the conditions under which medicine was practiced in the sixties. Only five years earlier than this story the link between thalidomide and birth defects had been established. In 1963 the first cadaver kidney transplant had been performed in Leeds, and in 1965 cigarette advertising was banned from British television. It was not until 1967 that Doctor Christiaan Barnard gave Louis Washkansky the first heart transplant. This was followed by the first heart-lung transplant in 1971. We had to wait until 1978 for the birth of the world's first baby conceived by in vitro fertilization.

Diagnostic tests were rudimentary, both in the laboratory and in imaging departments. In 1979 G.o.dfrey Hounsfield was awarded the n.o.bel Prize in Medicine for the invention of computerized axial tomography, the CAT scan. The eighties, the decade that saw the identification of the AIDS virus, was also the time lasers began to appear in operating rooms.

By today's standards, medicine was in its infancy, and much depended on the clinical skills of the Doctor O'Reillys. They practiced a very different brand of medicine on real people, whose feelings and lives were as important as the diseases that afflicted them.

Doctor O'Reilly has asked me to tell you he hopes you will have as much fun in Ballybucklebo as he has.

PATRICK TAYLOR.

Cootehall, County Roscommon, Republic of Ireland.

ALSO BY PATRICK TAYLOR.

Only Wounded.

Pray for Us Sinners.

Now and in the Hour of Our Death.

An Irish Country Doctor.

An Irish Country Village.

GLOSSARY.

The Ulster dialect, properly called Ulster-Scots, is rich and colourful but can be confusing. Like all patois, Ulster-Scots is not one bit shy about adopting useful phrases from other dialects. For example, the reader should not be surprised to find examples of c.o.c.kney rhyming slang here.

acting the goat: Behaving foolishly.

apples and pears: c.o.c.kney rhyming slang for stairs.

argy-bargy: Voluble disagreement.

a.r.s.e: Backside (impolite).

aunt f.a.n.n.y Jane, my: Nonsense.

away off and chase yourself: Go away.

away off and feel your head: You're being stupid.

away on: I don't believe you.

bamboozle: Deliberately confuse.

banaher, to beat: Exceed any reasonable expectations.

bangers: Sausages.

banjaxed: Exhausted or broken.

banshee: Female spirit whose moaning foretells death.

bap, to lose the: To be temporarily out of control.

barmbrack: Speckled bread.

bashtoon: b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

beagle's gowl: Very long way; the distance over which the cry of a beagle can be heard.

bee on a hot brick: Running round distractedly.

bee's knees: The very best.

bee's knees, he thinks he's the: He's conceited.

bigger fish to fry: More important matters to attend to.

bind: Cure diarrhea or cause constipation.

bit my head off: Expressed anger by shouting or being very curt.

bloater: Salted and smoked herring.

bletherskite: Nonstop talker.

blow you out: Tell you to go away.

bob, a few: One shilling; a sum of money.

bodhran: Irish. p.r.o.nounced "bowron." A circular handheld drum.

boke: Vomit.

b.o.l.l.o.c.ks: t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es (impolite). May be used as an expression of vehement disagreement or to describe a person you disapprove of; for example, "He's a right b.o.l.l.o.c.ks."

bonnet: Hood of a car.

boot: Trunk of a car.

both legs the same length: Standing about uselessly.

boul': Bold.

bowsey: Dublin slang, drunkard.

boys-a-boys, boys-a-dear: Expressions of amazement.

bra.s.s neck: Impertinence, chutzpah.

bravely: Feeling well.

breeze blocks: Cinderblocks bun, done a: Ran away.

buck eejit: Imbecile.

bun in the oven: Pregnant (impolite).

cailin: Irish. p.r.o.nounced "cawleen." Girl.

call the cows home: Be ready to tackle anything.

capped: A cap was awarded to athletes selected for important teams. Equivalent to a letter at an American university.

carrageen moss: An edible seaweed.

caubeen: Traditional Irish bonnet.

casualty: Emergency room.

ceili: Irish. p.r.o.nounced "kaylee." Party, usually with music and dancing.

champ: A dish of b.u.t.termilk, b.u.t.ter, potatoes, and chives.

chemist: Pharmacist.

chiseller: Dublin slang, a small child.

chuntering: Talking nonstop.

clabber: Glutinous mess of mud, or mud and cow clap.

clatter, a brave: A large quant.i.ty.

colloguing: Chatting about trivia.

conkers: Horse chestnuts. Used to play a children's game.

coortin': Paying court to. See also walk out with.

cow's lick: Tuft of hair that sticks up, or hair slicked over to one side.

cracker: Excellent (see also wheeker).

craking on: Talking incessantly.

crayture: Creature. Equivalent to North American "critter."

craytur, a drop of the: Whiskey.

crick in the neck or back: Painful strain.

cruibins: Irish. p.r.o.nounced "crubeen." Boiled pigs' feet, served cold and eaten with vinegar.

cure, wee: Hair of the dog.

dab hand: Skilled at.

damper: Device for restricting the flow of air to a coal or turf fire to slow the rate of burning.

dander: Literally, horse dandruff. Used to signify either a short leisurely walk or anger. For example, "He really got my dander up."

dead on: A strong affirmative or excited acceptance of good news. Equivalent to "I totally agree" and "That's marvelous."

dibs: A claim upon.

didny; didnae: Did not.

divil: Devil.

divil the bit: None. For example, "He's divil the bit of sense." (He's stupid.) doddle: A short distance or an easy task.

do-re-mi: Money. Equivalent of North American "dough."

dosh: Money.

dote: Something adorable.

dote on: Worship.

do with the price of corn: Irrelevant.

dozer, no: No fool.

drill-the-dome boys: Medical slang, neurosurgeons. See also nutcracker.

drouth, raging: p.r.o.nounced "drewth." Alcoholic.

druishin: Irish. p.r.o.nounced "drisheen." Dish made of cows' blood, pigs' blood, and oatmeal. A Cork City delicacy.