An Inconvenient Trilogy Part 43

"Nothing," Alfred responded, not meeting her gaze.

"Nothing, my foot!" Laura snorted. "How can you expect me to believe such a blatant lie when I'm used to dealing with some of the greatest liars and cheats that exist in society?"

"You really should keep better company," Alfred tried to joke.

"Ha, well I'm beginning to think that you're questionable company, you're being so secretive," Laura responded tartly. Her words had been said in jest, but the moment they were uttered, she knew she had hit a nerve with Alfred. His gaze caught hers for a second before looking away again, but in that second she had seen such a haunted expression that it made her ache inside. She suddenly realised that Alfred was right when he had said that he was not the person she had thought he was.

Laura waited for a few moments, wanting Alfred to speak first, but it was apparent that he was not going to. She reached over with her other hand and touched his cheek, brushing his face gently with the back of her fingers. "What is it Alfred?"

"You think I'm good and I'm decent and I'm anything but," came the quiet response.

Laura's heart skipped a beat, she had always been able to read people quickly and well, it had helped her to survive. It scared her to think that she may have been wrong with Alfred, but then she controlled her feelings, because he had never shown her anything but decency. "You have been good to me," she responded quietly, still stroking his face. "What happened that you think I would change my opinion of you?"

"It will," Alfred said dully. "But I can see that I am not going to get any peace until I tell you."

"You are right about that," Laura responded with a gentle smile. It worried her that Alfred looked so troubled.

He smiled, but it was a very small smile, before taking a breath and sighing. "I worked as an apprentice for a number of years. I was a clerk for a small business. I was like you, I'd been brought up in an orphanage, but I had a nicer place to go too."

"I'm glad," Laura said quietly, being able to picture the gangly boy that existed before the man emerged.

"I completed my apprenticeship, I really enjoyed the work. I like order and am methodical, I'm told," Alfred said with a smile at the compliment his employer used to tell him. "I worked there until I was nineteen and then things changed."

Alfred seemed to struggle with his memories, but for once Laura did not try to encourage him. She could see the torment on his face and waited patiently, her hand never losing contact with his cheek.

"My employer was a good man, he had a family, a wife and two daughters. Business had been quiet and I could see he was a little worried, but then things seemed to pick up. There was a difference though, in that the regular staff were kept well away from the new work. We were told that it was only the senior people that could be involved. It was his way of trying to protect us I suppose."

"It was illegal?" Laura asked, already guessing the answer.

"Yes, well paid, but illegal. It was something to do with forgery of doc.u.ments," Alfred explained. "I still don't know fully what it was. Anyway, it appears Mr King, my employer, made a mistake on one of the doc.u.ments and it was identified as a fake. It cost the men involved a lot of money and they weren't happy."

"What happened?" Laura asked, her heart pounding. Stories like this in her world, rarely had a happy ending.

"A fire occurred in the King household, which killed them all," Alfred said, struggling to keep control. "It wasn't an accident, the windows had been nailed down and a barricade put across the door. The magistrate said it was suicide, that Mr King's business was failing and he could not face the shame."

"Could it have been?" Laura asked.

"No!" Alfred almost shouted. "He adored his wife and daughters, they meant everything to him. If what they said was true and he could not face the shame, he would have ended his own life but not theirs!"

"I'm so sorry," Laura said, seeing immediately that the King family had replaced the family that Alfred had never had.

"I heard their screams, Laura," Alfred said quietly.

"Oh good grief, you were there?" Laura asked, horrified.

"Not at first," Alfred explained. "We had been given an evening out. It was money paid by the men involved to get rid of us until it was too late. I'd come back early, I don't know whether I felt that something was wrong, or what made me return, it wasn't usual for them to give us money, especially with them specifying that they wanted us to enjoy ourselves. So, I returned, but the fire was raging downstairs by the time I arrived, there were people there from the neighbouring buildings trying to get in, but there was nothing that could be done. I heard them screaming and then it went quiet."

Laura moved closer and wrapped her arms around Alfred, he was shaking at the memory. She held him close until he calmed. "What happened afterwards?" she asked gently.

"There was an inquest, but it was a farce and then that was it. They were going to let it all pa.s.s without doing anything. I couldn't allow that to happen. I wasn't going to let Mr King's kindness be repaid by my walking away and doing nothing about it," Alfred said, looking angry at the memory of how his employer had been let down by society.

"What did you do?" Laura knew that she held a decent man, every action and word he had uttered proved it to her, but she also knew what revenge could drive someone to and she worried about what he had done.

Alfred looked at Laura, before resting his forehead on hers. "I almost killed a man."

Laura stopped herself from the gasp that was in danger of escaping her lips. She must not react in such a way that Alfred would withdraw from her. She guessed correctly that this was the first time he had ever spoken about it to anyone. "Tell me," she whispered.

"You will leave afterwards in disgust," Alfred said quietly. He had tried to make his tone light, to appear that he did not care, but he did. His mind screamed at him not to tell her the rest, that he needed her to think well of him, but once he had started it seemed that he couldn't stop.

"I beg to differ," Laura said quietly, leaning closer and kissing him gently on the lips. "Tell me."

Alfred had not reacted outwardly to the kiss, but inwardly it had given him the confidence to continue. "I went into the offices, offering to pack everything up. I went through every piece of paper that was in that building. I was looking for clues, anything that would lead me to those involved. I found information, although it was well hidden," he admitted, "but I wasn't called methodical for nothing."

"It took months, I entered a world that I had never believed existed before," he said shaking his head slightly. "I didn't think I would survive, but somehow I managed. One by one I hit the people who were involved in the forgeries."

"Did you harm them?" Laura asked.

"Not initially," Alfred replied honestly. "I wasn't as hardened as I am today. I burnt down houses, offices and factories, making sure there was no one inside first. I thought it would help me feel better, that by getting my own revenge, I could finally put the Kings at rest."

"And did it help?"

Alfred smiled, but it was a bitter smile. "No, revenge doesn't, it just brings you down to the level of the person doing wrong doesn't it? I had become a criminal, just as they were. The reality was that they knew someone was onto them. It only delayed their business, they set it up again in different locations. One time though, I came across the main man, a really powerful, nasty and ruthless individual. He laughed in my face when I told him why I was doing what I'd done, and told me that business was not a place for sentiment."

"He'd fit in with some of the men I've met," Laura said with feeling.

"So, I pushed away my sentiment and gave him a beating he wouldn't forget in a hurry," Alfred continued.

"He deserved it," Laura said.

"Yes he did, but I'd become as bad as he was," Alfred said. "I didn't care what the outcome was as long as I achieved my aim. I wanted him to suffer and I wasn't prepared to stop. I'd lost my sense of right and wrong."

"But you did stop," Laura consoled.

Alfred stood up and walked a few steps away from Laura. "I was stopped, I was going to kill him," he said, turning his back to Laura. He could not face to see the rejection in her eyes.

"What stopped you?" Laura asked, her mind racing over the information she had been given.

"I didn't know at the time, but the Bow Street Officers were also onto the trail of the gang. They had been following me as well, I thought I was so good and yet I'd been followed for weeks. They knew exactly what I'd been doing. My now boss, Mr Frost was there. If he hadn't intervened, I would have killed a man that day and swung for it," Alfred said. He will never forget the expression in Mr Frost's eyes as he had spoken to Alfred.

Alfred had been held back by the Bow Street Officers and he had struggled, trying to finish the job he had started. Mr Frost had approached him and took hold of Alfred's shoulders. "My officers are going to let you go," he had said in his usual quiet voice. "You have two choices, finish the job you came here to do tonight and hang, or repay Mr King's faith in you and let this man go to trial and hang for his crimes. We have enough evidence, built up over months. I'm sorry it wasn't in time to save the King family, but we can only make choices about the future, we cannot influence the past. I can see the type of man you were and can be again. You have a choice to make about your future, but it's up to you, no one else can do it for you, it has been your crusade." He had stepped away from Alfred, and indicated that the officers should release the captive. Alfred had shaken himself in anger, ready to finish the task. Then he paused as the words sank in, and he looked at the Bow Street Officer. There was nothing but compa.s.sion in his eyes, he might not condone what Alfred wanted to do, but he understood. Alfred sighed, swinging for killing a man would not achieve anything, and he had relaxed slightly as the anger eased.

Mr Frost had seen the change as soon as it began, and indicated that his officers should make the arrest and take the offender away. Alfred watched the scene, almost dispa.s.sionately, it was as if he had not been a part of the evening. Mr Frost approached Alfred once the area was clear.

"You made the right decision tonight, young man," he said gently.

"I must be a coward," Alfred had responded bitterly.

"You are a bigger man for realising your action was wrong and responding to that. Don't ever consider yourself a coward. You did what was right, and that is harder than acting in the heat of the moment. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know sir," Alfred had responded truthfully. He had been so focused on getting revenge that he had not considered his future at all.

"Come and see me tomorrow," Mr Frost had said. "We could use an officer like you."

"What, one who considers killing criminals?" Alfred had asked sarcastically.

"One who finds out the truth and works to bring the perpetrators to justice. I won't lie to you, there may come a time when you need to be able to kill, but we need people who won't give up when the job is difficult," Mr Frost had explained.

Alfred's life had changed from that moment. He had gone to visit Mr Frost and undergone training. He had repaid his employer's faith by being an efficient and diligent officer.

Laura interrupted Alfred's thoughts. "Well for whatever the reason was that you did, I'm certainly glad you stopped." Alfred would probably never know how heartfelt those words were.

"Just remember though Laura, that you are mistaken when you think I am a decent human being," Alfred said, still facing away from her.

Laura came around and stood in front of Alfred. "You reacted to your whole family being killed," she said, holding her hand up to stop Alfred interrupting. "They were your family in everything but name. You had been with them since you were a child. Of course you wanted revenge. It's to your credit."

"The ability to kill is never to anyone's credit," Alfred said.

"You have paid for your lapse," Laura insisted. "I'm not saying that you are an angel, anyone living and working in the areas that we know and live in could not survive if they were too good, but you are a decent human being, with principles and I for one am glad to know you."

Alfred was touched at her words. Only Mr Frost and Mr King had seen the potential in him previously, he was a little intense for most females that he had come across. The type of women who lived in his neighbourhood wanted a man who they were used to, worked, who got drunk, and had their fill of their woman when they wanted it. They did not want someone who believed and longed for a family and looked for ways to improve themselves. He shrugged his shoulders, outwardly trying to dismiss the compliment, but inwardly treasuring her words.

"Come on, let's return to the house," he said gruffly, but he offered his arm, an action he had previously refrained from doing. He had not wanted to cause speculation between the people they had just met. Laura's life was complicated enough, but today, after revealing what he had, he needed to feel close to her.

Chapter 12.

Martha had noticed the relationship that existed between Laura and Alfred. She had wondered if they had known each other previously, or if the country air and the freedom they had was leading to deeper feelings developing. It was obvious that the three weeks which had pa.s.sed had changed the pair. Both had gained colour, which was the result of spending much of their day outside, but their features had relaxed. Each looked younger as a consequence. Alfred smiled more than he had at the beginning and Martha noticed that he often looked at Laura with a kind of longing that she recognised; that of someone looking at something they could not have, but wanted it nonetheless.

Martha liked Laura, she was feisty and funny, but she was also warm hearted and a little bit vulnerable, especially about the impending birth. Ever practical Martha decided that it was time to start to make arrangements for the baby, which was reason why she had accompanied the party in the first place.

She entered Laura's bed chamber one afternoon when the weather had prevented Laura and Alfred venturing out on their daily excursions. Laura was sat on the chaise longue, with her feet up, reading a book.

"I've taken the liberty of ordering refreshments," Martha started. "I thought it would be good to have a chat without Alfred and Charles chipping in."

"That's nice, although I have never eaten as much as I have since I arrived here," Laura said, sitting in a more upright position and swinging her feet off the cushions, so Martha could sit down.

"You look all the better for it," Martha replied honestly. Laura's cheeks were fuller and her skin glowed, partly because of the sunshine and exercise she was getting, partly because of the good quality food. Her hair, never tightly restrained, glistened whenever the light caught it.

"That's a polite way of saying I have put on weight," Laura laughed. "I hope after the baby is born that all the weight disappears and I go back to how I felt before."

Martha waited until the refreshment tray had been delivered before responding. "I need to speak to you about the baby's arrival," she started gently.

"I keep trying to ignore it," Laura said with a groan. It was true, she was. As much as she had wanted this baby, after the last few weeks she had half regretted her actions. Her relationship with Alfred was such that she was sure that if she had not been pregnant, they would be more than the friends they were now. Although, she had to admit, it was only because of the baby that she had so much support. The result was that her emotions were constantly up and down, one moment happy with the way things were, one moment desperate for things to be different.

"Well from the looks of things, it won't be very long before you can't ignore it, whether you want to or not," Martha responded with a smile. "How long do you think you have left?"

"I know exactly. Six weeks," Laura said with authority.

Martha was surprised that Laura could be so definite. "Are you sure? Lady Dunham knew roughly, but could not be completely sure."

Laura smiled at the memory. "I know the exact date this happened," she said firmly. "My trade is such that babies can be prevented, they need to be, or we wouldn't be a lot of use for most of the time," she said in her matter of fact way.

Martha flushed a little in embarra.s.sment, she obviously knew Laura's background, but speaking so openly about it, was embarra.s.sing to someone who although older, was far more innocent. "I see," she replied.

"I've shocked you, I'm sorry," Laura said. "I shouldn't be so coa.r.s.e."

"Don't be silly," Martha said, recollecting herself. "You should be exactly how you want to be, anything else would just make you miserable. I saw that when Lady Dunham had a season in London, it just wasn't her, and she was very unhappy. If you don't mind me asking, if you know how to prevent babies, why are you increasing now?"

Laura smiled sadly. "I am going to shock you again, Martha. I wanted this baby, so I purposely did not use the prevention methods I ought to have done. Go on, think badly of me, bringing a child into the world without any hope of support from the father."

"Did you love the father?" Martha asked, curious to find out the story behind the woman. It was obvious her pre-conceived ideas were wrong.

"Yes, and still do," Laura answered honestly. "I will do until my dying day, more fool me."

"Would he not support you, even if he was not in a position to marry you?" Martha asked.

Laura laughed, "Martha, you must believe these romance novels that the gentry read," she said, tapping her hand on the book on the table next to the chaise longue. "In real life women who work as I did never marry and have a family. Which man would want a wife with a background like mine?"

"But that shouldn't prevent him from supporting his child," Martha insisted, indignant for the unborn baby.

"He doesn't know about it," Laura said simply. "And if he did, he wouldn't believe that it was his. Alfred confirmed that would be the case, if I ever had any doubts."

"How so?" Martha asked.

"Alfred said that if he had been with a woman of the night, he would never believe that he was the father of her child, even if she later declared that he was," Laura said, a mixture of pain and sadness in her voice. She looked away from Martha, blinking back the moisture that had appeared in her eyes.

Martha frowned, it was a harsh response from the normally quiet, gentle Alfred. Perhaps she had been mistaken when she had thought he was so considerate. It seemed like an unusually unfeeling comment.

"So it is me and the baby," Laura said, rousing herself. "I don't intend going back to what I did before. I will hopefully get a position that accepts the child."

Martha did not know if Laura would ever find such a position. Most households did not want the enc.u.mbrance of children attached to staff, it was a diversion from work. She was hopeful though that Lord and Lady Halkyn would find something for her friend, Laura should not be left to fend for herself.

"Well we have to arrange with the local nurse to attend you at the appropriate time. I was there at Lady Dunham's confinement, but I'm no expert," Martha said.

"That makes two of us," Laura responded with a smile. "When do I need to make arrangements to leave after the birth?" She knew that she would have to make her own way and she needed to know when that would be.

"There is no hurry. We have no idea when Lord and Lady Halkyn will be returning to their property, and I would imagine they would want to see you, so there is no point making any plans at the moment," Martha a.s.sured her.

"You must want to return to your own position," Laura said. She knew that Martha had only travelled because of the need of a woman in the party.

"I was reluctant to come along, I admit," Martha said truthfully, "but Lord and Lady Dunham are on an extended visit to their family in London, so I may as well enjoy the change. I come from the north and although I am not from Yorkshire, it has so many similarities to my home that I feel as if I am returning to my homeland."

"Are your family still in the north?" Laura asked.