An English Garner: Critical Essays & Literary Fragments Part 26

Not satisfied with this _Impartial Account_, when next Almanack time came (in the following November, 1708), PARTRIDGE's _Almanack_ for 1709 [P.P.

2465/8] contained the following:

You may remember that there was a Paper published predicting my death upon the 29th March at night, 1708, and after the day was past, the same villain told the World I was dead, and how I died, and that he was with me at the time of my death.

I thank G.o.d, by whose mercy I have my Being, that I am still alive, and (excepting my age) as well as ever I was in my life: as I was also at that 29th of March. And that Paper was said to be done by one BICKERSTAFF, Esq. But that was a sham name, it was done by an impudent lying fellow.

But his Prediction did not prove true! What will he say to that? For the fool had considered the "Star of my Nativity" as he said. Why the truth is, he will be hard put to it to find a _salvo_ for his Honour. It was a bold touch! and he did not know but it might prove true.

One hardly knows whether to wonder most at the self-delusion or credulity of this last paragraph by the old quack.

This called forth from SWIFT:

A VINDICATION OF ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq., &c.

MR. PARTRIDGE hath been lately pleased to treat me after a very rough manner, in that which is called his _Almanack_ for the present year. Such usage is very undecent from one Gentleman to another, and does not at all contribute to the discovery of Truth, which ought to be the great End in all disputes of the Learned. To call a man, _fool_, and _villain_, and _impudent fellow_, only for differing from him in a point merely speculative, is, in my humble opinion, a very improper style for a person of his Education.

I appeal to the Learned World, whether, in my last year's _Predictions_, I gave him the least provocation for such unworthy treatment.

Philosophers have differed in all Ages; but the discreetest among them, have always differed as became Philosophers. Scurrility and Pa.s.sion in a Controversy among Scholars, is just so much of nothing to the purpose; and, at best, a tacit confession of a weak cause.

My concern is not so much for my own reputation, as that of the Republic of Letters; which Mr. PARTRIDGE hath endeavoured to wound through my sides. If men of public spirit must be superciliously treated for their ingenious attempts; how will true useful knowledge be ever advanced? I wish Mr. PARTRIDGE knew the thoughts which foreign Universities have conceived of his ungenerous proceeding with me: but I am too tender of his reputation to publish them to the World. That spirit of envy and pride, which blasts so many rising Geniuses in our nation, is yet unknown among Professors abroad. The necessity of justifying myself will excuse my vanity, when I tell the reader that I have received nearly a hundred Honorary Letters from several part of Europe, some as far as Muscovey, in praise of my performance: besides several others, which (as I have been credibly informed) were opened in the P[ost] Office, and never sent me.

It is true, the Inquisition in P[ortuga]l was pleased to burn my _Predictions_ [_A fact, as Sir PAUL METHUEN, the English Amba.s.sador there, informed SWIFT_], and condemned the Author and the readers of them: but, I hope at the same time, it will be considered in how deplorable a state Learning lieth at present in that Kingdom. And, with the profoundest reverence for crowned heads, I will presume to add, that it a little concerned His Majesty of Portugal to interpose his authority in behalf of a Scholar and a Gentleman, the subject of a nation with which he is now in so strict an alliance.

But the other Kingdoms and States of Europe have treated me with more candour and generosity. If I had leave to print the Latin letters transmitted to me from foreign parts, they would fill a Volume! and be a full defence against all that Mr. PARTRIDGE, or his accomplices of the P[ortuga]l Inquisition, will be ever able to object: who, by the way, are the only enemies my _Predictions_ have ever met with, at home or abroad.

But I hope I know better what is due to the honour of a Learned Correspondence in so tender a point.

Yet some of those ill.u.s.trious Persons will, perhaps, excuse me for transcribing a pa.s.sage or two, in my own vindication.

[15]The most learned Monsieur LEIBNITZ thus addresseth to me his third Letter, _Ill.u.s.trissimo BICKERSTAFFIO Astrologico Instauratori, &c._ Monsieur LE CLERC, quoting my _Predictions_ in a treatise he published last year, is pleased to say, _Ita, nuperrime BICKERSTAFFIUS, magnum illud Angliae sidus_. Another great Professor writing of me, has these words, _BICKERSTAFFIUS n.o.bilis Anglus, Astrologarum hujusce seculi facile Princeps_. Signior MAGLIABECCHI, the Great Duke's famous Library Keeper, spendeth almost his whole Letter in compliments and praises. It is true the renowned Professor of Astronomy at Utrecht seemeth to differ from me in one article; but it is after the modest manner that becometh a Philosopher, as _Pace tanti viri dixerim_: and, page 55, he seemeth to lay the error upon the printer, as, indeed it ought, and sayeth, _vel forsan error typographi, c.u.m alioquin BICKERSTAFFIUS vir doctissimus, &c_.

If Mr. PARTRIDGE had followed these examples in the controversy between us, he might have spared me the trouble of justifying myself in so public a manner. I believe few men are readier to own their error than I, or more thankful to those who will please to inform him of them. But it seems this Gentleman, instead of encouraging the progress of his own Art, is pleased to look upon all Attempts of this kind as an invasion of his Province.

He has been indeed so wise, as to make no objection against the truth of my _Predictions_, except in one single point, relating to himself. And to demonstrate how much men are blinded by their own partiality, I do solemnly a.s.sure the reader, that he is the _only_ person from whom I ever heard that objection offered! which consideration alone, I think, will take off its weight.

With my utmost endeavours, I have not been able to trace above two Objections ever made against the truth of my last year's _Prophecies_.

The first was of a Frenchman, who was pleased to publish to the World, that _the Cardinal DE NOAILLES was still alive, notwithstanding the pretended Prophecy of Monsieur BIQUERSTAFFE_. But how far a Frenchman, a Papist, and an enemy is to be believed, in his own cause, against an English Protestant, who is _true to the Government_, I shall leave to the candid and impartial reader!

The other objection is the unhappy occasion of this Discourse, and relateth to an article in my _Predictions_, which foretold the death of Mr. PARTRIDGE to happen on March 29, 1708. _This_, he is pleased to contradict absolutely, in the _Almanack_ he has published for the present year; and in that ungentlemanly manner (pardon the expression!) as I have above related.

In that Work, he very roundly a.s.serts that _he is not only now alive, but was likewise alive upon that very 29th of March, when I had foretold he should die_.

This is the subject of the present Controversy between us, which I design to handle with all brevity, perspicuity, and calmness. In this dispute, I am sensible the eyes, not only of England, but of all Europe will be upon us: and the Learned in every country will, I doubt not, take part on that side where they find most appearance of Reason and Truth.

Without entering into criticisms of Chronology about the hour of his death, I shall only prove that _Mr. PARTRIDGE is not alive_.

And my first argument is thus. Above a thousand Gentlemen having bought his _Almanack_ for this year, merely to find what he said against me: at every line they read, they would lift up their eyes, and cry out, between rage and laughter, _They were sure, no man alive ever wrote such stuff as this!_ Neither did I ever hear that opinion disputed. So that Mr.

PARTRIDGE lieth under a dilemma, either of disowning his _Almanack_, or allowing himself to be _no man alive_.

Death is defined by all Philosophers [as] a separation of the soul and body. Now it is certain that the poor woman [_Mrs. PARTRIDGE_] who has best reason to know, has gone about, for some time, to every alley in the neighbourhood, and swore to her gossips that _her husband had neither life nor soul in him_. Therefore, if an _uninformed_ Carca.s.s walks still about and is pleased to call itself PARTRIDGE; Mr. BICKERSTAFF doth not think himself any way answerable for that! Neither had the said Carca.s.s any right to beat the poor boy, who happened to pa.s.s by it in the street, crying _A full and true Account of Dr. PARTRIDGE's death, &c_.

SECONDLY. Mr. PARTRIDGE pretendeth to tell fortunes and recover stolen goods, which all the parish says, he must do by conversing with the Devil and other evil spirits: and no wise man will ever allow, he could converse personally with either, until after he was dead.

THIRDLY. I will plainly prove him to be dead out of his own _Almanack_ for this year; and from the very pa.s.sage which he produceth to make us think him alive. He there sayeth, _He is not only_ now _alive, but was also alive upon that very 29th of March, which I foretold he should die on_. By this, he declareth his opinion that a man may be alive _now_, who was not alive a twelve month ago. And, indeed, here lies the sophistry of his argument. He dareth not a.s.sert he was alive _ever since the 29th of March_! but that he is _now alive_, and _was so on that day_. I grant the latter, for he did not die until night, as appeareth in a printed account of his death, in a _Letter to a Lord_; and whether he be since revived, I leave the World to judge! This indeed is perfect cavilling; and I am ashamed to dwell any longer upon it.

FOURTHLY. I will appeal to Mr. PARTRIDGE himself, whether it be probable I could have been so indiscreet as to begin my _Predictions_ with the _only_ falsehood that ever was pretended to be in them! and this in an affair at home, where I had so many opportunities to be exact, and must have given such advantages against me, to a person of Mr. PARTRIDGE's Wit and Learning: who, if he could possibly have raised one single objection more against the truth of my Prophecies, would hardly have spared me!

And here I must take occasion to reprove the above-mentioned Writer [i.e., SWIFT _himself, see_ p. 482] of the Relation of Mr. PARTRIDGE's death, in a _Letter to a Lord_, who was pleased to tax me with a mistake of _four whole hours_ in my calculation of that event. I must confess, this censure, p.r.o.nounced with an air of certainty, in a matter that so nearly concerned me, and by a grave _judicious_ author, moved me not a little. But though I was at that time out of Town, yet several of my friends, whose curiosity had led them to be exactly informed (as for my own part; having no doubt at all of the matter, I never once thought of it!) a.s.sured me, I computed to something under half an hour: which (I speak my private opinion!) is an error of no very great magnitude, that men should raise clamour about it!

I shall only say, it would not be amiss, if that Author would henceforth be more tender of other men's reputation, as well as of his own! It is well there were no more mistakes of that kind: if there had been, I presume he would have told me of them, with as little ceremony.

There is one objection against Mr. PARTRIDGE's death, which I have sometimes met with, although indeed very slightly offered, That he still continueth to write _Almanacks_. But this is no more than what is common to all of that Profession. _GADBURY, Poor Robin, DOVE, WING_, and several others, do yearly publish their _Almanacks_, though several of them have been dead since before the Revolution. Now the natural reason of this I take to be, that whereas it is the privilege of other Authors, _to live_ after their deaths; _Almanack_ makers are only excluded, because their Dissertations, treating only upon the Minutes as they pa.s.s, become useless as those go off: in consideration of which, Time, whose Registers they are, gives them a lease in reversion, to continue their Works after their death. Or, perhaps, a _Name_ can _make_ an _Almanack_ as well as _sell_ one. And to strengthen this conjecture, I have heard the booksellers affirm, that they have desired Mr. PARTRIDGE to spare himself further trouble, and only to lend his Name; which could make _Almanacks_ much better than himself.

I should not have given the Public or myself, the trouble of this _Vindication_, if my name had not been made use of by several persons, to whom I never lent it: one of which, a few days ago, was pleased to father on me, a new set of _Predictions_. But I think these are things too serious to be trifled with. It grieved me to the heart, when I saw my Labours, which had cost me so much thought and watching, bawled about by the common hawkers of Grub street, which I only intended for the weighty consideration of the gravest persons. This prejudiced the World so much at first, that several of my friends had the a.s.surance to ask me, "Whether I were in jest?" To which I only answered coldly, that "the event will shew!" But it is the talent of our Age and nation to turn things of the greatest importance into ridicule. When the end of the year had _verified all_ my _Predictions_; out cometh Mr. PARTRIDGE's _Almanack!_ disputing the point of his death. So that I am employed, like the General who was forced to kill his enemies twice over, whom a necromancer had raised to life. If Mr. PARTRIDGE has practised the same experiment upon himself, and be again alive; long may he continue so! But that doth not, in the least, contradict my veracity! For I think I have clearly proved, _by invincible demonstration_, that he died, at farthest, within half an hour of the time I foretold [; and not four hours sooner, as the above-mentioned Author, in his _Letter to a Lord_ hath maliciously suggested, with a design to blast my credit, by charging me with so gross a mistake].

FINIS.

Under the combined a.s.sault of the Wits, PARTRIDGE ceased to publish his _Almanack_ for a while; but afterwards took heart again, publishing his "_Merlinus Redivivus_, being an Almanack for the year 1714, by JOHN PARTRIDGE, a Lover of Truth [P.P. 2465/6];" at p. 2 of which is the following epistle.

To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq.

SIR,

There seems to be a kind of fantastical propriety in a dead man's addressing himself to a person not in Being. ISAAC BICKERSTAFF [_i.e., RICHARD STEELE_] is no more [_the_ Tatler _having come to an end_], and I have now nothing to dispute with on the subject of his fictions concerning me, _sed magni nominis umbra_, "a shadow only, and a mighty name."

I have indeed been for some years silent, or, in the language of Mr.

BICKERSTAFF, "dead"; yet like many an old man that is reported so by his heirs, I have lived long enough to bury my successor [_the_ Tatler _having been discontinued_]. In short, I am returned to Being after you have left it; and since you were once pleased to call yourself my brother-astrologer, the world may be apt to compare our story to that of the twin-stars CASTOR and POLLUX, and say it was our destiny, not to appear together, but according to the fable, to live and die by turns.

Now, Sir, my intention in this Epistle is to let you know that I shall behave myself in my new Being with as much moderation as possible, and that I have no longer any quarrel with you [_i.e., STEELE_], for the accounts you inserted in your writings [_the joke was continued in the_ Tatler] concerning my death, being sensible that you were no less abused in that particular than myself.

The person from whom you took up that report, I know, was your namesake, the author of BICKERSTAFF's _Predictions_, a notorious cheat.[16] And if you had been indeed as much an Astrologer as you pretended, you might have known that his word was no more to be taken than that of an Irish evidence [_SWIFT was now Dean of St. Patrick's_]: that not being the only _Tale of a Tub_ he had vented. The only satisfaction therefore, I expect is, that your bookseller in the next edition of your Works [_The Tatler_], do strike out my name and insert his in the room of it. I have some thoughts of obliging the World with his nativity, but shall defer that till another opportunity.

I have nothing to add further, but only that when you think fit to return to life again in whatever shape, of Censor [_the designation of the supposed Writer of the_ Tatler], a _Guardian_, an _Englishman_, or any other figure, I shall hope you will do justice to

Your revived friend and servant,

JOHN PARTRIDGE.

On the last leaf of this _Almanack_ is the following notice:--

This is to give notice to all people, that all those _Prophecies, Predictions, Almanacks_, and other pamphlets, that had my name either true, or shammed with the want of a Letter [_i.e., spelling his name PARTRIGE instead of PARTRIDGE_]: I say, they are all impudent forgeries, by a breed of villains, and wholly without my knowledge or consent. And I doubt not but those beggarly villains that have scarce bread to eat without being rogues, two or three poor printers and a bookbinder, with honest BEN, will be at their old Trade again of Prophesying in my name.

This is therefore to give notice, that if there is anything in print in my name beside this _Almanack_, you may depend on it that it is a lie, and he is a villain that writes and prints it.