An Alphabet of History Part 4

The boy who on commencement day Cites Patrick Henry's speeches Must do so in Quintilian's way When a single order of liberty, with a supplemental second choice of death, he beseeches.

The actor who would thrill the crowd (A blood and marrow freezer) By handing out in accents proud "Mark Antony on Caesar,"

Must heed the rules set down by Quint., And so must he who rises To heights of glowing fame by dint Of the justly famous to be or not to be, center of the stage, two spotlights sizzling, when he as Hamlet soliloquizes.

Quintilian, we are fain to say, Was It on oratory, And even in this later day Receives his share of glory, Except when elocutionists Our peace and comfort mangle, By showing how fair Bessie's wrists Were strained and bruised while swinging around in the belfry the time she said the curfew should not jangle.

RALEIGH

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Sir Walter Raleigh was a man Of excellent deportment; He could advise a King or Khan What going into court meant; When Spenser wrote his Faerie Queene Sir Walter Raleigh said it Betrayed a wit both sharp and clean (We wonder if he read it).

Good Queen Elizabeth one day Was out (perhaps for shopping), And Raleigh chanced along the way Where she in wrath was stopping.

"How can I get across that mud?"

She asked; and in the muddle Sir Walter showed his gentle blood-- His cloak soon bridged the puddle.

A smile replaced the good queen's frown, She paused there for a minute To set more straight the royal crown (It had no hat pin in it).

And then she murmured low to Walt.: "Sir, you shall see my tailor."

He answered: "If I'm worth my salt, Good queen, make me a sailor!"

And so good Queen Elizabeth Gave him a high position-- He drew his pay like drawing breath And led an expedition That sailed across the raging seas For gold and slaves and cocoa, And battled with the biting breeze Along the Orinoco.

Alas! It may have been the cloak That was in mire imbedded, Or possibly some words he spoke That made him be beheaded.

But let us learn this lesson here From poor Sir Walter Raleigh: The favor of the great, 'tis queer, Oft has a grim finale.

SHAKSPEARE

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Shakspeare, as all of us have read, Once asked: "What's in a name?"

An alias for the rose, he said, Would make it smell the same.

But Shakspeare was so frivolous-- Excuse us if we say That it has always seemed to us His work was mostly play.

As "Shaxpere," "Shakspere," "Shaikspeare," too, His signature is found; His autographs are much too few To be pa.s.sed all around.

This shows the c.u.mulative worth Of honest, solid fame; The bidders come from all the earth To buy his misspelled name.

He dramatized the thrilling scene Where Caesar met his end, Where Casca, hungry, lank and lean, And Brutus, Caesar's friend, Stabbed swiftly with their daggers bright When Julius came in reach-- Then Antony, thrilled at the sight, Arose and made a speech.

No chorus girls were in his shows; In them no "social queens"

Were given princely wage to pose And dignify the scenes.

But there be those who say there are Odd facts that can't be pa.s.sed: For instance, oft we see a star With ciphers in the cast--

And this leads many to declare That Bacon wrote the shows; A cryptic secret hidden there They say they will disclose.

It may be that each drama h.o.a.rds A Bacon cryptogram, For often, proud upon the boards There struts and strides a ham.

TELL

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The tale of Tell is simply told; He would not heed the tyrant, But, big and brave and bluffly bold He spurned the cold aspirant-- He simply came out plain and flat And his own rights defended; He would not bow to Gessler's hat Upon the pole suspended.

Then Gessler came upon the scene And ordered Tell to knuckle; Tell fixed him with his glances keen And gave a scornful chuckle.

Then Gessler frowned and knit his brows (A most portentous omen); "Risk your boy's life or make those bows!"

(We've lost the boy's cognomen.)

Tell smiled, and got his trusty bow, Likewise his trusty arrow (Now, William Tell, as you should know, Could wing the fleeting sparrow Or he could truly shoot the chutes)-- So Gessler said: "Now grapple With this one fact--for you the boots Unless you cleave the apple."

Did Tell succeed? In your school books The tale is very well told, And Gessler looked some haughty looks When he heard what Bill Tell told.

"What did you hide this arrow for?"

Asked Gessler of the wizard.

"I meant to split that apple, or I'd have to harm your gizzard!"

That's all, except it shall endure As acted by Salvini.

(But was it?) And the overture Composed by one Rossini Shall prove that Tell is not a myth Concocted to deceive us.

We've seen the bow he did it with; We hope you will believe us.

ULYSSES

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Unusually popular with mythologic misses, And rather wont to wander when he should have stayed at home, We find is why our hero, the redoubtable Ulysses, Went rambling into trouble when he thought that he would roam.

Penelope, good lady, left behind in their apartment, Had trouble in her efforts to get cash to pay the rent-- Telemachus, their scion, knew not then what being smart meant; He should have helped his mamma, but he never earned a cent.

Ulysses, in the meantime, found the land of the Cyclopes, And came within an ace of being made into a stew.

He drugged old Polyphemus, then skedaddled with: "I hope 'e's Laid up with indigestion," and went onward with his crew.

From there he ambled farther till he reached the realm of Circe; We translate rather freely from the Odyssean log: "She proved to be a lady with no tenderness or mercy, Each comrade of Ulysses, for her sport, was made a hog."

He got away, however, and he steered his trusty ship so That it would take him quickly where more trouble might be found-- He grounded on the island of the nymph they called Calypso, And dallied in her presence till eight years had rolled around.

Homesickness must have struck him not so many years thereafter; He sighed: "I think the time has come for me to pull my freight."

The listeners had trouble when they tried to hold their laughter At thinking of how long it was before he knew 'twas late.

Penelope, fond woman, had been wooed by many suitors; To each and every one of them she firmly whispered "No."

Ulysses, on appearing, changed the suitors into scooters-- He strode into the parlor and said: "Take your hats and go!"