Allison Bain Part 18

"John," said his mother gravely, "I hardly think all that would help you to live a better life than your father lived. It is not the _kind_ of work that matters; it is the way it is done. Your father did his duty in the sight of G.o.d and man, and went far beyond what folk whiles call duty, never letting his left hand ken what his right hand was doing.

And I have ay hoped that ye might follow in his steps. It is like a slight on your father, John, when ye speak of higher work."

"Mother! you cannot really think that of me! And, mother, you must mind that my father meant me to do as I wish to do. It is only to begin a little later than he hoped. And there is no fear but I shall see my work when I am ready for it."

"And yet there is many a man in Scotland with a store o' book learning who has done little work, or only ill work, for G.o.d and man. And even with a good-will the opportunity doesna ay come."

"Well, never mind, mother. There is no pressing need to decide now, at least till summer is over. We will wait to see what may happen." He did not speak cheerfully, however.

"John," said his mother earnestly, "are ye sure that your heart is set on this? What has come to you? Has anything happened to unsettle you, lad? Tell your mother, John."

John laughed as he rose and then stooped down and kissed her.

"Nothing has happened. It is quite possible that you are right and that I am wrong. We will just wait and see, and decide the matter later.

Even if we have to leave Nethermuir, it need not be till summer is over.

I am sorry that I have troubled you with this now. You will vex yourself thinking about it all."

"'Deed I'll do nothing of the kind. I'll just leave it all in better hands than either yours or mine. And as to your troubling me--Who has a lad a right to trouble if it be not his ain mother? And when a' is said, our way is laid out before us by Him who kens a' and cares for a'.

Why should I trouble myself taking thought to-day for the things o'

to-morrow? Go your ways to the manse, John, and I'll bide still and think about it all."

But the visit to the manse was not so satisfactory as usual. There were other people there, and though John had a few minutes alone with Mr Hume in the study, there was no time to enter fully into the matter which he had at heart, and on which, he sincerely believed, he wished for the minister's opinion and counsel, and so he said nothing about it.

Robin went down-stairs with him, and while he was making ready the lantern to light the way to an outhouse, where Davie had a puppy which his friend must see, John stood waiting by the kitchen-door. In her accustomed corner sat Allison, spinning in the light of the lamp which hung high above her head. She raised her eyes and smiled when John came in, but she gave no other answer to his greeting, and went on with her spinning, apparently quite unconscious of his presence. As for him, he found nothing to say to her, though the lighting of the lantern seemed to take a good while. To himself he was saying:

"I am glad I came. Of course I knew it was but a fancy and utterly foolish, and that: it would pa.s.s away. But it is well to know it. Yes, I'm glad I came in."

Could this be the stately maiden he had seen smiling in the sunshine on the hill, with wee Marjorie in her arms? There she sat in the shadow, with the accustomed gloom on her face, wearing the disguise of the big mutch with the set-up borders, tied with tape under the chin. An ap.r.o.n, checked in blue and white, held with its strings the striped, short gown close over the scanty petticoat of blue. John wondered whether her thoughts ever wandered away from the thread she was drawing from the head of flax so silently.

"A decent, dull servant-la.s.s, strong and wholesome, invaluable doubtless in her place, but just like any other la.s.s of her kind." That is what he said, and then he added:

"She has bonny een." Ay, wonderful soft een, with a world of sorrow and sweetness in them; and he waited with impatience till she should lift them to meet his again. But she did not. And though he let the lads pa.s.s out before him, and turned at the door to look back, there she sat, busy with her thread and her own thoughts, with never a thought of him.

"A good la.s.s," he repeated as he followed the lads; but he could not quite ignore the sense of discomfiture that was on him, as he went down the lane with Robin at his side. He had enough to say to Robin. He had something to tell him about his winter's work, and without meaning to do so, he gave him "an inkling," as Robin called it to his mother, of the plans he had been making, and of the new course which was opening before him.

But John said no more to his mother. It was late when, he came home that night, and there was no time for many words in the morning, for he had a long journey before him.

CHAPTER ELEVEN.

"Oh! the happy life of children still restoring joy to ours!

Back recalling all the sweetness."

Summer came slowly but happily to Marjorie this year, bringing with it, oh! so many pleasures to which she had hitherto been a stranger. She had had the early spring flowers brought into the parlour many a time, and ferns and buds and bonny leaves, for all the bairns of the place were more than glad to be allowed to share their treasures with her; and the one who came first and brought the most of these, thought herself the happiest, and great delight in past summers had all this given to the child. She had watched, too, the springing of the green things in the garden, the wakening of pale little snowdrops and auriculas, and the gradual unfolding of the leaves and blossoms on the berry-bushes, and on the one apple-tree, the pride of the place.

But she had never with her own hands plucked the yellow p.u.s.s.ies from the saughs (low willows) by the burn, nor found the wee violets, blue and white, hiding themselves under last year's leaves. She had never watched the slow coming of, first the buds, and then the leaves on the trees along the lanes, nor seen the hawthorn hedges all in bloom, nor the low hills growing greener every day, nor the wandering clouds making wandering shadows where the gowans--the countless "crimson-tipped flowers"--were gleaming among the gra.s.s. All this and more she saw this year, as she lay in the strong, kind arms of Allison. And as the days went on it would not have been easy to say whether it was the little child, or the sad and silent woman, who got the greater good from it all.

For Allison could no longer move along the lanes and over the fields in a dream, her inward eyes seeing other faraway fields and hills and a lost home, and faces hidden for evermore, when a small hand was now and then laid upon her cheek to call her back to the present. The little silvery voice was ever breaking in upon these dreary memories, and drearier forebodings, with cooing murmurs of utter content, or with shrill outbursts of eager delight, in the enjoyment of pleasures that were all of Allie's giving. And so what could Allie do but come out of her own sorrowful musings and smile and rejoice in the child's joy, and find a new happiness in the child's love.

There was much to be done in the house, but there was no day so busy or so full of care but that Allison could manage to give the child a blink of sunshine if the day were fair. There was much to do out of the house also, what with the cows and the garden and the glebe. Cripple Sandy, who was the minister's man-of-all-work, had all that he could do, and more, in the narrow fields. So Allison rose early and milked her cows, and led them out herself, to no wide pasture, but to one of those fields where she tethered them first and flitted them later in the morning when they had cropped their little circle bare. And both at the tethering and the flitting Marjorie a.s.sisted when the day was fine, and it was a possible thing. She woke when Allison rose, and being first strengthened by a cup of warm milk and a bit of bread, and then wrapped warmly up in a plaid to keep her safe from the chill air of the morning, she was ready for a half-hour of perfect enjoyment. When that was over, she was eager for another cup of milk and another sleep, which lasted till breakfast was over and her brothers had all gone to school.

And when the time for the afternoon flitting of the cows came, Marjorie was in the field once more, sitting on a plaid while the placid creatures were moved on, and she and Allie went home again as they came, through the lanes in which there were so many beautiful things.

Sometimes a neighbour met them, who had something to say to the child, and sometimes they met the bairns coming from the school. When they came home by the longest way, as Marjorie liked best to do, they would have a word with the schoolmistress, as she was taking the air at her door when the labours of the day were over, and sometimes a smile and a flower from Mrs Beaton in her garden over the way. This was the very best summer in all her life, Marjorie told her father one day, as Allie laid her down on her couch in the parlour again.

All this was beginning to do the child good. Even the neighbours noticed the change after a little, and were glad also. Some of them meant that the coming and going pa.s.sed the time and contented her.

Others said that it was well that her mother's heart was set at rest about her, and that she got more time for all else that she had to do; and all thought well of the new la.s.s for her care of little Marjorie.

The mother, who had consented to these new doings with misgiving, began, after a little, to see the change for the better that was being wrought in the child. Long before midsummer there was dawning a soft little gleam of colour on Marjorie's cheek, not at all like the feverish tints that used to come with weariness or fretfulness or excitement of any kind. The movements of the limbs and of the slender little body were freer and stronger, and quite unconsciously, it seemed, she helped herself in ways on which she had never ventured before.

Her father saw the change too, though not so soon as her mother; but having seen it, he was the more hopeful of the two. And by and by they spoke to one another, saying if this thing could be done, or that, their Marjorie might be helped and healed, and grow strong and tall like the other bairns, and have a hopeful and happy life before her. But they paused when they had got thus far, knowing that the child was in G.o.d's hands, and that if it were His will to bring about the fulfilment of their desire, He would also show a way in which it was to be done.

Whether this might be or not, their little gentle darling would ay be, as she had ay been, the dearest blessing in their happy home.

"And may G.o.d bless Allison Bain, however it is to be."

"Yes," said the mother. "I think a blessing is already coming to her through the child."

"Is she less sad, think you? She seems more at home among us, at least."

"I cannot say that she is la.s.s sad. But her sadness is no longer utter gloom and despair, as it seemed to be at first. And she says her prayers now, Marjorie tells me. I see myself that she listens to what you say in the kirk. I think it may be that she is just coming out of the darkness of some great sorrow which had at first seemed to her to end all. She is young and strong, and it is natural that her burden of trouble, whatever it may be, should grow lighter as the time goes by.

Oh! she is sad still, and she is sometimes afraid, but she is in a better state to bear her trouble, whatever it may be, than she was when she came first among us. I sometimes think if some good and pleasant thing were to come into her life, some great surprise, that might take her thoughts quite off the past, she might forget after a little and get back her natural cheerfulness again."

Mrs Hume ceased suddenly. For a moment a strong temptation a.s.sailed her. If ever man and wife were perfectly one in heart and thought and desires, these two were. As for the wife, no thought or wish of hers, whether of great things or of small, seemed quite her own till she had also made it his. Seeing the look which had come to her face, her husband waited for her to say more. But she was silent. She had no right to utter the words which had almost risen to her lips. To tell another's secret--if indeed there were a secret--would be betrayal and a cruel wrong. Even to her husband she might not tell her thoughts, and indeed, if she had but known it, there was, as far as Allison Bain was concerned, no secret to tell.

But Robin, who was in the way of sharing with his mother most things which greatly interested himself, had told her about his morning run over the hills after John Beaton, and how he had found him "looking at nothing" on the very spot where, the day before, he had got his first look at Allison Bain, and how he had turned and run home again without being seen. Robin only told the story. He drew no inference from it, at least he did not for his mother's hearing.

His mother did that for herself. Remembering John's dazed condition at worship on the first night of his homecoming, it is not surprising she should have said to herself that "the lad's time had come."

And what of Allison? She had asked herself that question a good many times since John's departure; but she owned that never, either by word or look, had Allison betrayed herself, if indeed she had anything to betray, and of that she was less a.s.sured as the days went on. But whether or not, it was evident, Mrs Hume a.s.sured herself, that Allison was "coming to herself" at last.

And so she was. Young and naturally hopeful, it is not to be supposed that Allison's sorrow, heavy and sore though it was, could make all the future dark to her, and bow her always to the earth. She had lost herself for a time in the maze of trouble, into which death, and her enforced marriage, and her brother's sin and its punishment, had brought her. But she was coming to the end, and out of it now. She was no longer living and walking in a dream. She was able to look over the last year of her life at home with calmness, and she could see how, being overwrought in mind and body, spent with work and watching and care, she had fallen under the mastery of blind terror for her brother's safety, and had yielded where she ought to have stood firm.

She had no one to blame for what had befallen her. Her mother had hardly been in a state to know what was going on around her, except that her "bonny Willie"--as she called him in her prayers, and in her murmured longings for him--was faraway, and might not come home in time to see her die, or to help to lay her in her grave. Her father grieved for his son, but, angry at him also, had uttered no word either to help or to hinder the cause of the man who had made Allison's promise the price of her brother's safety. But he went about with bowed head, listening, and looking, and longing, ay longing, for the coming of the lad. So what could she do but yield for their sakes, and take what seemed the only way to bring him back again?

But one wrong was never righted by the doing of another, and her sacrifice had come to worse than naught. Though she had sinned blindly, she had suffered for her sin, and must suffer still. But gradually the despair which darkened all the year was pa.s.sing. There was hope in her heart now, and a longing to throw off the dead-weight which had so long held her down. And the lightening of her burden showed now and then in eye, and voice, and step, so that all could see the change. But with all this the thought of John Beaton had nothing to do.

She had seen him just as she had seen other folk and he had come into her thoughts once or twice when he was not in her sight. But that was because of the good understanding there was between him and little Marjorie. The child had much to say about him when he was at home; and when she was carried out in Allison's arms on those days, she was always wishing that they might meet him before they went home again.

One day they met, and Marjorie being gently and safely transferred to John's arms, Allison turned and went back into the house without a word of explanation or apology.

"It's ironing day," explained Marjorie, a little startled at the look on John's face.

"Oh! it's ironing day, is it? Well, never mind. I am going to take you to the very top of Windhill to give you a taste of the fresh air, and then I shall carry you home to take tea with my mother and me."

"That will be delightful," said Marjorie with a sigh of pleasure.

No. In those days Allison was thinking nothing at all about John. When she went about the house, with no gloom, but only a shadow of softened sadness on her face, and a look of longing in her eyes, it was of her brother that she was thinking. She was saying in her heart:

"G.o.d help him in that dismal place--he who should be free upon the hills with the sheep, or following the plough on his ain land at home."