Alex And Cassidy: Betrayal Part 31

"I was...too focused on her and the kids. I wasn't paying attention. I thought John wanted me there to help....Awad, he got shipments. They ran a small clinic out back three days a week. I helped carry them, Ca.s.s. So many times. I helped carry them that morning. I thought they were books and medical supplies...I thought...."

Ca.s.sidy closed her eyes with a new and painful understanding. It was beginning to make sense to her now. Alex suspected that she had unknowingly carried the very materials that were used in the attack that injured her. Now, there was the possibility that John Merrow might have had a hand in all of it. "Alex, you couldn't have known."

"No, Ca.s.s. I should have known. I was too busy paying attention to Sabeen. Don't you understand? I didn't pay attention to John; where he was going, who he was meeting with. I didn't pay attention to Awad." Alex rubbed her face with force. "Twenty people died, Ca.s.sidy. Twenty. Three of my best friends, eight children and Sabeen. Sabeen triggered it...He threw her out. She was the trigger. His own daughter. I never saw it coming until that moment...not any of it."

Alex's body began to shake noticeably and Ca.s.sidy pulled her close. "Alex, I'm so sorry."

"What if I am so busy looking at you that I miss it? That you and Dylan...that I don't see Krause or Taylor? Or Jesus...who knows? For who they really are."

"Alex, you are not a twenty something nave girl." Alex looked at Ca.s.sidy in amazement. "Well?" Ca.s.sidy continued. "You loved this girl?"

"That was....I thought...."

"Alex, we both have a past. You loved her?" Alex nodded. "And you think that blinded you?" Alex didn't answer. "Maybe it did." The agent looked back to Ca.s.sidy who smiled. "Love does that sometimes. It makes us see the best in people. It makes us hopeful."

Alex shook her head. "Don't you understand? John, it just makes it worse...it's my fault."

"No. It isn't." Ca.s.sidy laid back and guided Alex to her chest. "Alex, I loved Chris once. I didn't know who he was. I saw what I wanted to see. Maybe I saw what I needed to see. Do you think it's my fault that Carl Fisher did what he did? Do you blame me for Chris shooting you?"

"Of course not."

"You loved someone. You trusted them. You are not responsible for what they did. The only thing you are guilty of, Alex, is loving; that's all."

"I can't lose you, Ca.s.s."

"You're not going to lose me, Alex. It's different now, for both of us."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"The way I love you; it doesn't close my eyes. It opens them."

Alex propped herself up and looked at her lover. "I just want to keep you safe."

"You do."

Alex's voice dropped to a whisper. "I promise you..."

"You don't need to make me any promises. I already know."

Alex closed her eyes and let Ca.s.sidy hold her, much as she did after a nightmare. Her mind was racing. There was little doubt in the agent's mind that following this trail would be dangerous, for all of them. John Merrow was her best friend. He was Dylan's father. In so many ways, he had been and was her family. Alex struggled to reconcile what she knew had to be the truth and what she felt in her heart. She contemplated everything Ca.s.sidy had said. It was one of the things Alex loved and admired most in the woman lying beside her; Ca.s.sidy was thoughtful, compa.s.sionate, and honest. She had the type of intelligence that no one can teach; the kind that comes from the heart. Throughout the entire day the agent had only one thing on her mind, protecting the family she now had. It was something she had never dreamed possible. In these last days, seeing her mother embrace Dylan, watching Nick chase Cat, drinking coffee with Rose, and now holding onto Ca.s.sidy; she realized how much her life had changed. Her mother had told her she couldn't run anymore. Now, after hearing Ca.s.sidy's words, it suddenly all seemed to make sense. Ca.s.sidy was right. She couldn't quit. She couldn't run. Her eyes had been opened like never before and what had opened them was her love for the woman beside her.

"Ca.s.s?"

"Hum?"

"How do you feel about vanilla cake?"

Ca.s.sidy smiled and kissed the agent's head. "I like it."

"I know. I think maybe we should have one."

The teacher chuckled, amused by the shift in Alex's train of thought. "Is that right?"

For Alex, it made perfect sense. She was never good at being direct with personal requests. Vanilla cake was the best way she could think to convey that she wanted to spend her life with Ca.s.sidy. "Yeah, unless you don't want to."

"Actually, Alex, I don't think there is anything I would like more than to share vanilla cake with you."

"Good. Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Does that mean you are not quitting anything?" Ca.s.sidy questioned.

The agent snuggled closer. "No, but I do think it is time for new beginnings."

"Every day is a new beginning with you."

"I love you, you know, Ca.s.sidy?"

"I know you do, Alex. I love you too. I just hope you don't get disappointed in the boring stuff you keep looking forward to."

"Ca.s.s, life with you will never be boring."

Ca.s.sidy laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should."

"Get some sleep, love."

"Thanks, Ca.s.s."

"I have no idea what you are thanking me for."

"Vanilla cake."

"I'm not baking it," Ca.s.sidy said plainly.

Alex chuckled as her eyes grew heavier. "Well, you know... we..."

Ca.s.sidy shifted and kissed the agent's forehead. "Go to sleep, Alfred."

Alex smiled and let her eyes fall shut. For the first time in many days she looked forward to her dreams knowing they would be filled tonight with images of a school teacher and a little boy, and maybe a little vanilla cake.

oles, are you sure?" Jon Krause asked through the phone.

"Yeah, I am," she said.

"It makes sense."

"Krause, was he? CIA, I mean."

"Agent Toles, the agency is a strange place. There are webs within webs. It doesn't matter what his designation was, really. If you are asking me if he was taking orders outside of ASOW, then yes, I'm certain that was so. Anything on SPHINX specifically stand out to you?"

"No. But WASHTUB was mentioned in those doc.u.ments more than once."

Krause sighed. "Historically?" he asked.

"I don't think it was a historical reference," Alex offered. "I suppose it's possible. I pegged it as a laundering operation." A lingering silence ensued as Alex stepped onto the back patio. "Krause? What are you thinking?"

"What if it was a historical reference?"

"That would be a relief, I guess."

"Would it?" Krause asked. "Toles, what if WASHTUB was part of SPHINX?"

"Well, that's why I figured it was a convenient..."

"No, Agent. What if WASHTUB was part of SPHINX?"

"WASHTUB was over fifty years ago." Krause did not answer. "Krause, operations don't last fifty years." The silence continued. "Do you realize what you are suggesting?" she asked.

"Yeah, I do and I suspect that you already had that suspicion yourself."

"Krause, who exactly is Admiral Brackett?"

"That's a very good question, Agent Toles. He's simply The Admiral. FBI, ATF, CIA, NSA, DOD, and USSS; he can pull strings just about anywhere. He knows the alliances and he keeps that very close to the vest. I need you to talk to Matthews. What I can tell you is that there is a ma.s.sive Russian influence in all of this. The congressman's accident, John's," he took a moment and continued. "Moving merchandise has been my job for years. Making certain it arrives at its destination, ensuring the funds follow accordingly, whatever that means. My field work has been largely limited to business transactions."

Alex interrupted. "Matthews mentioned ASA after John's funeral."

"ASA isn't the only interest. What did Matthews say?"

"Something about weapons and Corsica, and thinking John might have tried to prevent something. Maybe he wasn't preventing at all."

"Or maybe he was. Guess it was inevitable we both ended up in France," Krause chuckled uncomfortably. "There are things we need to discuss when I get back. If you don't hear for me..."

"Be careful," Alex cautioned.

"You almost sound like you care, Agent Toles."

Alex sighed. "Ca.s.sidy does." There was no response. "There's been enough loss for her...I don't..."

"Deal with the amba.s.sador," he said. "I have a feeling he may know more than he is actually telling you. Given your suspicions about John..."

"You think Amba.s.sador Matthews is CIA, don't you?" Ca.s.sidy asked. The silence gave her the answer. "Jesus, Krause."

"Not uncommon, Agent. I will look for clarification on the point, but yes."

"What is? Uncommon, I mean?" she tried not to chuckle at the absurdity in the conversation.

"I'm headed out of the country," Krause explained. "Talk to Matthews. He would not be the first operative placed as a diplomat, believe me."

"Yeah, I do believe you. That's what worries me."

"I'll contact you when I can, Agent. Just be safe." "

Yeah. Krause?"

"What?"

"Watch your back. I'd hate you to get caught in one of those webs," Alex said.

Ca.s.sidy made her way down to the kitchen and found a note in front of a full coffee pot.

Morning, I didn't want to wake you or Dylan. I just had to run a few errands. I know what you are thinking, but I am okay. I might even be back before you see this, which would probably be a good thing. Don't be mad.

Thanks for last night.

By the way, I was kind of hoping for tacos tonight.

Je t'aime.

"Tacos," Ca.s.sidy giggled. "What is it with you and tacos?" she mumbled as she poured herself some coffee and caught sight of a sleepy boy walking into the kitchen. Dylan made his way to her side and collapsed against her hip. "Still tired, sweetie?" He nodded. "Why don't you go watch some cartoons? I'll make you some breakfast." Dylan rubbed his eyes and looked lazily up to his mother. "Are you feeling okay, Dylan?" Ca.s.sidy asked with some concern. She felt his head and frowned at his sniffling. "Come on," Ca.s.sidy said, putting her coffee down and leading her son to the other room. "I think this is going to be a quiet day." She plopped him onto the sofa and covered him with a blanket. "Maybe this will at least keep Alex quiet," she mused. "She wanted boring."

Ca.s.sidy heard the front door and headed into the hallway. Alex was juggling two large grocery bags and her keys. Picking up her pace, the teacher reached the agent and relieved her of the bags. "What are you doing?"

"Thanks," Alex said as she placed a gentle kiss on her lover's forehead and followed Ca.s.sidy into the kitchen.

"Alex, you are supposed to be taking it easy."

"Am I in trouble?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

Ca.s.sidy set down the bags and turned, immediately noticing the slight wince that accompanied her lover's pleasantries. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I have some ideas on that particular subject," Alex winked.

Ca.s.sidy laughed. "You," she shook her head, "are wobbling as it is. Let's get you settled in with Dylan."

"Why? Where's Dylan?"

"Sick on the couch."

"What do you mean he's sick?"

"He has a little fever. Probably a cold." Alex looked at Ca.s.sidy skeptically. "He's okay, Alex. Come on." Ca.s.sidy took Alex's hand and led her to the living room.

"Speed?" Alex looked at him. "You okay?" He nodded and offered her a weak smile.

"Come on," Ca.s.sidy urged. "Let me help you get your jacket off." Alex turned pale and began fidgeting with the zipper on the jacket. "Alex? Are you okay?" The agent stared blankly at her lover. "Are you getting sick too? Are you cold?" Alex shook her head. "Oooookaay..." Ca.s.sidy chuckled. The agent sat down next to Dylan and pulled the covers over both of them.

"Maybe I am a little cold, Ca.s.s."