Strange Love 54 Ease The Burden

Xavier pulled the door closed behind him as he walked carefully into the tiny room with a hot cup of tea. He set it down on the wall-mounted desk before sitting down on the edge of the bed. He sat back against the built-in headboard. Once he was comfortable, he leaned forward and pulled her onto his lap. When she didn't fight against him, only curled into a tight ball on his chest, he began stroking her hair. Noting the cold, clammy feeling of her skin, he retrieved the blanket and covered her. Her silent tears soaked through his shirt, staining the white fabric.

A scowl furrowed his brow as he continued to soothe her. "Shhh. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'm here when you're ready… Shhh…." He removed the thick shaded gla.s.ses and sat them on the desk beside the tea. His eyes blazed with the fires of his anger as he gently hooked his fingers under her chin to lift her troubled eyes up to his. Set firm in his resolve to ease her burden he said, "Joslyn, look into my eyes… You've had a rough day, but it's all over now. You are with me now. I will protect you and care for you in ways… others haven't. I need you to rest now, do you understand? Let me help you relax, alright…"

The tears stopped and her eyes became intensely trained onto his. When she only nodded her head; he took it as understanding and as a confirmation to the effectiveness of his abilities on her. He released her face and retrieved the tea. "Here drink this." Once she took the cup from him, he began working his suit jacket off and working the tie loose.

She watched as he worked the first b.u.t.ton free… then the second… then a third and fourth. She lowered the cup in her hands as she watched him pull the shirt free of his slacks before unlatching his belt and removing it. Jos could feel a deep blush burn across her checks, but she couldn't help watching. Everything about him was mesmerizing.

Xavier chuckled as he kicked off his shoes never taking his eyes off her. "Now it's your turn." He couldn't fight the grin that spread across his face when her eyes bugged from their socks. He crawled across the bed toward her in a slow, seductive manner. He splayed himself out beside her. He sent her a mischievous grin from lash shaded eyes as he took her leg by the calf. He moved it upward with one hand, placing a light kiss on her knee. With the other hand, he worked her shoe off. He repeated it on the other leg, before cupping her face. "I only meant it was your turn to get comfortable." He scooted back against the headboard. He rubbed the bed beside him, his eyes glowed brilliantly, "Come here."

Jos didn't know whether it was her own desire or the control she had asked him to see several times that was causing her body to move, but she didn't try to resist. {Whatever happens, happens… I'll never see him or Russ again after this weekend… Should I just say f.u.c.k it and make the first move???} Instead of sitting beside him, she crawled back onto his lap. She felt the blush deepen and couldn't look him in the face. Instead, she ran her fingers along the open seam of his shirt.

Xavier pulled her face up to his, his brow was furrowed, "You don't have to do this…" He ran his other hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, sometimes my will gets pushed on people by accident." He looked away, "It's why I keep gla.s.ses on…"

Joslyn ran her fingers feather-light across his bare chest, "I… I…"

He frowned, "What happened while you were at the apartment?" He gently pressed her hand into his chest to stop its arousing movements. "I know I said you didn't have to talk about it, but I can't help but… wonder…" {I know good and well what she's doing… but I want her to at the very least admit it to herself.} "Did he hurt you?"
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Her eyes shot up to him at the word 'he'. She shook her head, "Russ was there… but nothing happened between us. We actually just talked…"

His frown deepened, "Something must have happened." She tried to move off his lap, but he held her in place, "Jos, look at me. I told you I want to be here for you. I want to help you. I can tell you are hurting right now, and believe me, I want nothing more than picking up where we left off last night… but… look at me… I don't want just a piece of you, I want it all." He cupped her face with both hands, "I have fallen in love with you. Please, tell me what is hurting you so much."

Tears built in her eyes before overflowing, "He wasn't alone..."

Xavier frowned and pulled her up against him, misunderstanding what she was trying to say. "I'm so sorry."

She shook her head against his chest, "No… I don't mean in that way… It was… another guy… That… that…" She choked on her tears.

"Shhh." He whispered against her head as he stroked her hair. "It's over, just tell me…"

Tears streamed down her cheeks, "I've only ever been in love once before… and… and… He was there today…" Her words began to carry a hint of hysteria. "It was too much… It's been too long… I… I… couldn't…. I didn't even know he was in the area…"

{Wait, what????} He held her tight against his chest. "Tell me about it… I'm sure it would help you to get it out." {Say a name, baby… All I need is a name…}

Jos thought it over for a short while. {Raven is the only other one who I've ever talked to about… him… Maybe he's right…} "He… He… was sent to help me when I was young..er… I… I fell in love with him, but he made it very clear he didn't feel the same… He was seeing someone else… several someone elses, actually… I was jealous…" She frowned squeezing her eyes closed as tightly as she could. "There was so much that happened… I… guess it left a horrible taste in my mouth that I could never really get over." She began crying again, "I'm cursed when it comes to love…"

"You just haven't loved the right person. You're away from him too now, just rest." He stroked her head as he rested it against him for what felt like hours.

Xavier sat with his back against the leather headboard, thought battering his brain one after another. He fought a very delicate battle between what is morally acceptable and pure unadulterated desire. He ran his fingers through the soft white hair he had been stroking for some time now. "Joslyn?

She lifted her eyes to him, stilling the fingers that had been fumbling with one of the b.u.t.tons of his unb.u.t.toned shirt. "Yes?"

A frown spread across his handsome face as he spoke, "Feel free to not answer... but... how do you feel about that kid? I mean really feel?"

She furrowed her brows, "I... I love him..."

Xavier gently pressed her head back against his bare chest. "But you don't want to be with him?... I mean... you... do you... with me..."

Jos could feel her cheeks heat up. It was more than obvious what he was asking, and he had every right to ask... after all she had tried forcing him to f.u.c.k her twice now. "I'm not good for him... or his sister... Our relationship was cursed from the start... I should have never given in."

Xavier began running his fingers through her hair again. "So you are leaving him for his own good?" He chuckled, "I get the distinct impression he doesn't feel the same about your decision."

Jos shook her head, "He's too young to understand. He doesn't realize what it would mean for us to be together... what he would have to give up... Someone like me isn't worth such a sacrifice."

Her words took him by surprise. He hooked a finger under her chin and pulled her face up to meet his. "Why would you ever think something like that? Any man or dare I say, beast, would be blessed to have you by their side for even a second!"

Jos pulled away tears flooding her eyes, "You don't understand, I'm too damaged... cursed even..."

Her eyes finally turned back to meet his. "I don't even think I'm capable of loving him the way he deserves... I've caused him more pain in just a few weeks than he would deserve in a lifetime..." She squeezed her eye tight for a moment trying to ease the flooding of emotions before she continued. "I'm broken... and for him to stay with me would only lead to his destruction... the destruction of anyone that's dumb enough to love me."

Xavier cupped her face on either side, "Any man would be lucky to say they know you... And I'm more than willing to burn the world to the ground for a chance to call you mine for a minute." He pulled her closer his next words no more than a heated whisper on her lips. "You want to forget him, I can do that for you..." he kissed her lips teasingly. "If you can take me as I am, all of me, then there is nothing we can't work through." He kissed her lips again this time lingering there, speaking against them. "I promise to make you happy for all of eternity." With that said he captured her lips in a deep, pa.s.sionate kiss. Once she began to respond more aggressively, he broke the kiss. He held her face away from his and stared down at her with a pensive stare, "Yes or no, Joslyn. I need to hear you say the words."

Jos squeezed her eyes tight, the past weeks of all the love and pa.s.sions she had shared with Russ cascaded through her mind like a reaper reel. All the happiness of her entire existence could all be found within those 18 years of knowing Russ... of loving Russ... She began nodding violently tears flowing as free as a river, "Yes... Please... I can't keep hurting him... holding him back..."

Xavier nodded, a ping of sadness. .h.i.t at the realization, her decision was still fully based on her deep love of the pup. [G.o.d, if Dante doesn't deal with that other pup b.i.t.c.h before it gets back to Jos, I will personally see to ripping out his innards and force-feeding them to his sorry a.s.s!] He placed a light kiss on her forehead, cupping her face firmly. He whispered against her forehead, "My eyes will change, don't be afraid just maintain eye contact if you want it to work. At any point, you change your mind simply look away." He waited for his words to sink in, before leaning back and releasing her face. He sat up straight and crossed his legs and she did the same. He let out a heavy sigh, "Remember, simply look away if you change your mind."

Jos waited patiently for him to do whatever it is that he was going to do. More than anything she was curious to see his full abilities, to have this horrible pain in her chest to go away for even the shortest time would also be a blessing.

Xavier rolled his neck a few times to mentally prepare himself. Once he finally opened his brilliant green eyes, they shined brighter than a beckon. The whites were now a sinister shade of crimson that was so deep it nearly looked black the outer edges where the green wasn't reflecting as much. "Look into my eyes."

Joslyn giggled at the cliche vampire line.

Xavier rolled his eyes, "Everyone's a critic..." He couldn't help the smiled that curved his lips as he waited for her giggles to fade. "Are you about done?" He grabbed her and pulled her into his body for a quick kiss. "Now if you're ready?" He forged a stern brow arch, before kissing her check and helping her back into a seated position. "Look into my eyes. Know that as long as your eyes are able to find mine, you will never know pain. You will never know the hurt of a jealous lover or the betrayal of a disloyal friend. I will be your light in the dark, your air in the suffocation of life. You will be happy, content, and loved. I am strong enough to accept all of you and will give you all of me. Clear your mind of all the uncertainty... All the love you have for another man... When you hear the name Russell Boosilis, you will only have a pleasant memory of the child he was and the innocent relationship of the caregiver you were to him. When you hear the name Rach.e.l.le Boosilis you will only look back on fond memories of the child you helped raise. You remember none of the pain and betrayal you have faced over the last weeks. You are mine."