Strange Love 26 Questions With No Answers

"I never realized how big this tub actually was." Joslyn set with her back up against Russ's chest in the deep garden tub. She lifted a handful of bubbles up to her face then blew them across the tub. He had made tender love to her for well over an hour before finally coming into the bathroom and preparing a candle lit bubble bath for them to share.

Russ laughed, "Reconsidering your decision to give me the master bedroom?" He leaned down and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. "I'll share, ya know." When she didn't respond he took the small bar of soap out of the dish and began rubbing it across Joslyn's shoulders. She jerked in surprise, but he wrapped his other arm tighter around her waist. "Hold still I'm going to wash you." He grinned at her in the reflection of the mirror, "After all I owe you a good scrub." He winked at her before he continued moving his hand and the bar of soap over her upper body.

Joslyn drew in a quick inhale as his hand containing the soap began lathering up her breast. She watched their reflection in the large mirrors in awe as candlelight refracted off the bubbles causing a beautiful spectrum of color to play across the areas of her body where his hands worked. She threw her head back against his collar bone, moan escaping as his hands slid down over her ribs. The hand that was wrapped around her waist came up to turn her head toward him as his mouth came down over hers for a soft kiss before pulling back and gazing down at her. There was the slightest hint of worry in his voice as he asked, "Jos, are you happy right now…. With me, that is?"

His question took her breath away, but she still managed to shake her head yes.

He smiled down at her before pulling her snuggly against him engulfing her body in a tight hug, He showered the top of her head with kisses. Without lifting his mouth from her head, the words m.u.f.fled by her hair, he asked, "Jos…. Marry me?"

His words were barely more than a whisper against her scalp, but they caused tingles to run from the spot his breath was warming all the way down her spine and to her toes. {There's no way I heard him right... Did I?!} She pulled away from him to get a full view of his face. She prayed she would see some sign of joking, but there as nothing but seriousness and love in his troubled eyes. She stared in shock watching the soft flames of the candles reflect back at her from his beautiful eyes. {How the h.e.l.l am I even supposed to answer him? I only agreed to date him a day ago!} Joslyn's voice broke with concern as she tried to answer in a way that wouldn't hurt him, "Russ…"

He interrupted her, "Jos, I know what you're going to say but…." He moved to pull her back toward him, when she didn't fight him he cupped her jaw and gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Jos..."

Joslyn pushed her self up out of the water enough to place a light kiss on his lips, effectively silencing his interruption. "Then let me say it please." She set back down into the water, facing him head-on. "Russ, it's only been a day…. Not even really a full 24 hours..." she cupped her hand over his as she watched his reaction contort his features.

Shock and anxiety marred his beautiful face as he quickly responded, "NO! It has been a lifetime for me! I've always loved you, I will always love you!" He cupped her small face in his large palms, not allowing her to look away as he added, "Jos, I don't expect an answer from you right this minute, but I want you to know that is my aim for this, for us." Determination weighed heavy in his words giving merit to the pa.s.sion emanating from his eyes.

A single tear slipped down Joslyn's cheek, "Russ you know that's not possible." She tried to pull away from him but, he held her tighter. "Russ please…"

He pulled her back against him, "Please, forget I said anything. Just stay with me, ok." He stroked the back of her hair as he held her firmly against his chest.

Tears stung her eyes, "It's getting late." She gripped the arms wrapped tightly around her upper body. She held on to him for a moment, taking great joy in the warmth and comfort of his hold, before finally pulling loose of his grip and standing up. She looked down at him, "I'm going to go change, Raven should be getting back any time now and hopefully Sh.e.l.ly too." With that, she grabbed a towel off the rack and fled the bathroom.

Russ watched in disappointment as she practically ran from the bathroom. He could feel his emotions battling within, but it seemed as if anger was winning out over all the others. He thought over what had just happened. "How could I have been so stupid! Idiot!" He slammed his fists down into the water causing water to splash up all around him. "Just as things were beginning to go so well I have to f.u.c.k it up!" He pushed up from the water quickly, fighting the urge to shatter the mirrors casting mocking reflections of the emotional train wreck that was he.

Joslyn stood in front of her dresser staring at her reflection in the mirror, barely able to recognize her own reflection looking back at her. {What the h.e.l.l am I doing.} She closed her eyes tightly, with any luck when she opened them she would wake to find this had all be some bazar fairy tail dream. {Let's face it, that's the only way this relationship would ever work out.} Joslyn let out a loud sigh and glanced back at her own reflection, "You've really done it now, haven't you." Her gaze traveled to the mark on her shoulder, she ran her hands over the mark as a tear fought to escape the corner of her eye. "His mate..." she stared at it guilt and joy battling each other. "Marriage…" she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head furiously, "Yeah right what fantasy world are you living in! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!" Anger filled her eyes as she looked back at her own reflection but seeing the hurt in her own eyes reflecting, back at her was too much. The tears that had been fighting for their freedom, triumphantly cascaded down her cheeks. "The absolute best thing you can do," she said looking back up at her reflection directly a new sense of determination in the eyes, "...is walk away before anyone gets hurt farther."

The pain of her own words was too much to bear. With her face buried in her palms, she slowly backed toward her bed and crashed down onto it. She curled into a ball, pulling her favorite pillow up against her body. She pressed her face into the pillow to m.u.f.fle the sobs that wouldn't stop.

A heavy weight pressed down across Joslyn's chest waking her up from a sound sleep. {…Sleep? When did I fall asleep?} Joslyn fought the grogginess away as she tried to focus her eyes in the light of the early morning light streaming in from her window. About the time she realized the weight across her chest was an arm, it tightened around her and pulled her closer. She turned her head to gaze into the beautiful face of the sleeping werewolf beside her. She thought over what had happened last night and what had been said. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She wiggled onto her side and gently stroked his cheek, brushing thick strands of burnt blonde hair back from his face. {He asked if I would marry him…. To see his beautiful sleeping face first thing every morning for the rest of his life… There is only one answer that keeps coming to my mind…} "Yes…" The words slipped out of her lips without her realizing they had been more than just a thought. She watched as the corners of his lips turned up into a smile. {Was he awake…} Bright blue eyes met her gaze as a lazy smile overtook his face.

"Is that a yes to what I asked you last night?" He snuggled closer to her, breathing in the smell of her hair as it tickled his nose.

Joslyn could feel her face redden, "I… I… didn't… When did you… how?..." She pulled away and sat up in the bed. She looked around. The pillow she had been holding last night when she must have fallen asleep was now across the room on the small armchair by the window. She looked back down at the bed, then over to Russ. They were now at the head of the bed wrapped snuggly into the soft cotton sheets of her bed.

Russ laughed lightly, "When you didn't come back through the apartment last night, I came in to find you. You were already asleep, so I pulled back the covers, then moved you up to the head of the bed…. and of course, I got in with you." He stretched his large body out, making her full-size bed look like a child's bed with his hulking ma.s.s. He reached up, running his fingers softly over the bare skin of her arm.

"Oh? Thank you." Joslyn said quietly as she racked her brain for any memories of him coming into her room. She looked over at him, furrowed her brow and asked, "That's all? YOU just got into bed and slept?" She looked at him doubtfully.

Russ chuckled, "You looked tired." His face fell into a frown, "Plus after your reaction in the tub, I figured it was best to let you sleep." He rolled over onto his side and stroked her thigh with his free hand idly, all the while never taking his eyes off her face.

Joslyn watched his hand move lightly over her lap, unable to meet his gaze. "You have no right to ask that of me." She pulled away from his hand and stood up beside the bed. she took a step toward the dresser but stopped and turned back toward the bed and looked straight into his eyes, bitter anger coloring her words, "you should consider the facts before you go around saying pointless things." Her anger built as her innermost thoughts and concerns of the last two months began pouring out. "You have been so h.e.l.l-bent on this…" she pointed back and forth between the two of them, "That you haven't stopped to think past the bedroom…"

Russ interrupted her with a joke, hoping to lighten her mood. "Not true, I put a lot of thought into the garage, the tub, the closet, the sofa, the kitchen counter as well..."

His joke only made Joslyn madder. She yelled, "Don't! You know d.a.m.n good and well what I'm saying! You haven't thought of the future at all. You are only, selfishly, thinking of yourself. You have less than a year to return, back to your pack, back to your home. What the f.u.c.k are we supposed to do then?" Joslyn glared down at him, "Am I supposed to move to an island with nearly nothing but werewolves on it? How do you think your people are going to respond to me being with you?" She threw her arms up in the air to emphasize her point, "They would send a freaking lynch mob for my head!"

Russ had the good graces to blush as he shot back at her, "It's my life, it should be my choice who I spend it with. If they wanted me to abide by their laws and traditions they should have kept me on the d.a.m.n island instead of sending me away!" He pushed the sheets away and flung himself over the edge of the bed in front of where she was standing. He stood to his full height in front of her, his hands clenched into tight b.a.l.l.s by his side. "You think I'm a selfish child? That I haven't thought past sleeping with you? Joslyn, I have thought of nothing but our future together for the biggest majority of my life!" He grabbed her arms tightly leaving an arm's length between them, "I would rather give up that entire island and everyone on it that spend one minute without you by my side." He pulled her against him, "I'm not saying this as a boy trying to have a fling with a girl, I'm saying this as a man who is openly and mindfully choosing his mate for life." When she only continued to stare silently at his chest, he laced his fingers into her hair and tugged gently, pulling her face up to look him in the eyes. "Jos, look at me, I LOVE YOU! And only you!"

Tears poured down her cheeks as she gazed up into his brilliant eyes ablazed with the sparks of pa.s.sion, "I wish it was that easy, but it's not. You don't understand; you were too young when we took you away. There are strict customs and rules. Your people would never allow you to be with someone like me." She used his temporary dismay to her advantage and pulled away from his loosened grip and ran for the door. She could feel him following close behind her.

He slammed his hand against the door as she fought to open it, "Joslyn, stop trying to run away from me and talk to me!"

She continued pulling on the door, her vision blurred by all the tears streaming down her face. {I can't let him see how much this pains me. If he realizes the depth of my true feelings, he would surely turn away from his responsibilities and obligations... landing us all in trouble...} "Please stop, just let me out of here."