Agreement of Being Gay for 30 Days Chapter 18

018

“shou shou, quickly hug me”

–

DAY FOURTEEN【 LOOKING AT THE STARS TOGETHER AND HOLDING THE OTHER IN YOUR EMBRACE WHEN IT FEELS COLD】

______________________________

______________________________

“Why are you just staring?” At some point, w.a.n.g Guangning had already walked in front of Zhang Lingyi. Reaching out a hand, he swatted his hand across Zhang Lingyi’s bald head, causing a ‘pa’ sound to echo out, “Let’s go!”

Zhang Lingyi hesitated, then caught up.

When it came to the most suitable place in F University to watch the stars, the choice was of course, Moon Lake.

There was a stunning view of the lake, the ground was level and the horizon could be clearly seen.

It was also the holy land for F University’s couples.

Right now it was winter, and near the end of the semester. Therefore, the number of couples here were greatly reduced. There only remained two or three stray couples, which was more convenient for w.a.n.g Guangning and Zhang Lingyi.

The two people found a secluded place and sat down. Zhang Lingyi had already prepared a bag of snacks and beer, which he told w.a.n.g Guangning to eat and drink.

w.a.n.g Guangning leaned his elbows on his knees with his chin resting in his palms. Glancing to the side at Zhang Lingyi, he said, “We’re just waiting for the night to pa.s.s like this?”

“En.” Zhang Lingyi was still confused over his own complex thoughts so he didn’t pay much attention to w.a.n.g Guangning’s words.

Upon seeing Zhang Lingyi’s absent-minded expression, w.a.n.g Guangning couldn’t help but feel curious. Logically speaking, he should be very energetic and lively when it came to these matters of being gay.

“What are you thinking about?” w.a.n.g Guangning pushed Zhang Lingyi.

Zhang Lingyi recovered fiercely and faced w.a.n.g Guangning, suddenly feeling a bit guilty. Laughing, he said, “Nothing, I was just thinking about what time the stars would come out.”

w.a.n.g Guangning pursed his lips then scanned the dark sky above them, “Don’t tell me that you really want to watch the stars?”

Due to the severity of air and light pollution in modern cities, don’t even talk about wanting to see the stars, even the moon was hazy and unclear. w.a.n.g Guangning recalled that ever since he had come to G City to study, he had never really seen any stars.

“Ah, of course! Wasn’t watching the stars the reason we came out?” Zhang Lingyi opened a can of beer and handed it to w.a.n.g Guangning.

Taking the can, w.a.n.g Guangning sipped it then raised his head and stared up at the sky, “You can’t see any stars in the city. If you really want to see stars, you should go to the countryside.”

Zhang Lingyi had been born in G City and had grown up here, so he had never seen a sky full of stars. Hearing w.a.n.g Guangning’s words, he asked curiously, “Can you really see many stars in the countryside?”

Tilting his head, w.a.n.g Guangning thought about it then answered, “Ah, yes. You can see countless stars from where I live. If you want to see, then I can take you there when we have our break.”

“Sure!” Zhang Lingyi beamed then lifted his beer and shook it at him, “Come, cheers.”

w.a.n.g Guangning noncommittedly b.u.mped his can with Zhang Lingyi’s.

The moon had already evidently appeared hanging in the air, surrounded by a few bright stars. Apart from those, the entire fabric of the heavens were dark with no other lights to be seen.

“Waa, stars!” Zhang Lingyi pointed at the sky and sighed in an exaggerated manner, “So beautiful!”

After being faced with Zhang Lingyi’s silly appearance, w.a.n.g Guangning carried his ice-cold can of beer and stuck it on the other’s face.

“f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k! Are you trying to freeze me to death?” Zhang Lingyi hastily pushed away w.a.n.g Guangning’s hand, “Shou shou, this time it’s you provoking me!”

While speaking, Zhang Lingyi grabbed w.a.n.g Guangning’s shoulders. He locked the other tightly in his embrace as he abruptly attached his own can of beer against w.a.n.g Guangning’s neck.

“Ah, f.u.c.k!” w.a.n.g Guangning was bound to Zhang Lingyi and he was unable to budge at all. The slight chill on his neck caused him to shiver from the cold but he could only kick his arms and legs in an attempt to escape—just like a fish struggling near death.

It was only when Zhang Lingyi had played until he was satisfied that he finally loosened his hands with a laugh. In the next moment, w.a.n.g Guangning launched on top of him in one fierce move and pushed hi down onto the ground. w.a.n.g xiao cao’s tall body then proceeded to press down on Zhang Lingyi’s thigh like the weight of a mountain.

“Hmm~” w.a.n.g Guangning squinted, his lips curled up in a smirk at his success, “Zhang Lingyi, accept your death!” As he spoke, he used one hand to push up Zhang Lingyi’s shirt and exposed the legendary six-pack. Then, with his other hand, he shoved the cold beer can on the pale planes of Zhang Lingyi’s muscles.

Zhang Lingyi hissed and scrunched up his face as expected before shouting, “I admit defeat! I admit defeat!”

This was the first time throughout their entire rivalry that Zhang Lingyi had spoken the words ‘I admit defeat’. Feeling completely smug, w.a.n.g Guangning moved the can away while convulsing in laughter. He didn’t notice that the person underneath him who he was sitting on—Zhang Lingyi—had an incomparably awkward expression.

“Alright, alright.” Zhang Lingyi restrained his strange complexion and pretended to casually push w.a.n.g Guangning away. Then he proceeded to lay on the gra.s.s and acted dead, “Behave, and watch the stars properly.”

w.a.n.g Guangning lied on the ground next to him and gazed at the sky. His stomach and chest moved up and down violently as a result of his hearty laughter just then. His frame of mind nevertheless calmed down, which was a rare occurrence.

It seemed as if he had not experienced this kind of free and unconstrained laughter in a long time.

The happiness in life often stemmed from something simple. Yet, as people grow up, their hearts become more complicated and happiness is mixed with impurities. The smiles on their faces are also no longer completely pure.

For the first time in a long time, w.a.n.g Guangning felt serene in his heart; he couldn’t help but turn his head and look at Zhang Lingyi who had given him such a pure and simple feeling. Instead, he found Zhang Lingyi staring blankly at the sky. w.a.n.g Guangning didn’t know what the other was thinking about, seeing that he had not even rolled down his shirt which was bunched up at his chest.

Wasn’t he afraid of being cold? w.a.n.g Guangning rolled his eyes and stretched out his hand to pull down his shirt, only to be faced with a fierce reaction from Zhang Lingyi.

“What are you doing?” Zhang Lingyi asked nervously, seeming to be a bit embarra.s.sed.

“Don’t you mean what are you doing?” w.a.n.g Guangning’s lips twitched. His outstretched hand hovered stiffly in mid-air; he couldn’t continue, yet couldn’t retreat either. In the end, he simply scratched his fluffy head, “I just wanted to pull down your clothes.”

It was only then that Zhang Lingyi realised he hadn’t even pulled down his clothes and he hurriedly did so, “Oh, sorry. Thank you!”

“What are you thinking about that has you lost in thought?” w.a.n.g Guangning asked. He couldn’t be blamed for being puzzled, Zhang Lingyi was a loud and lively person, so it was rare to see him with an appearance of pondering something deeply.

Zhang Lingyi didn’t answer his question. Instead, he turned his head over to look at w.a.n.g Guangning, his eyes filled with indescribable and unclear emotions.

“What’s wrong?” Being stared at him like this, chills erupted down w.a.n.g Guangning’s spine.

“I’m cold!” Zhang Lingyi shouted before moving over and leaning onto w.a.n.g Guangning’s chest, “Shou shou, quickly hug me tightly!”

w.a.n.g Guangning, “……”

“Ah, shou shou, quickly hug me!” Zhang Lingyi said, his own hands already holding onto w.a.n.g Guangning’s shoulders, not letting go, “Didn’t it already say? When it feels cold, you must tightly hug me in your arms!”

w.a.n.g Guangning really felt as if he had lost to him!

He choked and was speechless. Although w.a.n.g Guangning really wanted to shove Zhang Lingyi into the lake, he still ended up restraining himself and wrapped his arms around Zhang Lingyi’s back when he saw the other’s spirited appearance.

The chests of the two were stuck together. The moon in the sky was dim, and the stars were spa.r.s.e. During this winter night, everything at Moon Lake was tranquil and quiet to the point that Zhang Lingyi and w.a.n.g Guangning could practically hear each other’s heartbeat.

On this still night, every sound were particularly clear.

***

Only until they had both separated and returned to their own dorms did Zhang Lingyi dismiss the mask he had been wearing the entire night, revealing an expression of annoyance and embarra.s.sment.

Although his body had now relaxed, he could still clearly recall the feeling of w.a.n.g Guangning sitting on his thigh.

At that time, w.a.n.g Guangning had only cared about using the beer can to make him feel cold. Hence, w.a.n.g Guangning didn’t notice that the sensitive parts of the two were closely touching and rubbing together up and down due to their fooling around.

Originally, such behaviour between guys was very common. In the past, Zhang Lingyi had also pinned down his friends underneath him during mock fights, yet he hadn’t thought much of such a position.

But he didn’t know why tonight when w.a.n.g Guangning had sat on his thigh, he had felt a specific part of himself quietly transform into a beast.

Embarra.s.sed and afraid of being found out by w.a.n.g Guangning, Zhang Lingyi could only quickly admit defeat and push w.a.n.g Guangning away. It was only after a long time afterwards before the feeling of restlessness stopped.

Zhang Lingyi thought that he really was an immoral and despicable person. He could tell that w.a.n.g Guangning had been generously tolerating him for this period of time, which resulted in him viewing w.a.n.g Guangning as his good friend.

Yet, he himself was actually…

Ah, he really wasn’t human!

Zhang Lingyi slapped his forehead in annoyance. It must be because he had been too busy in the past few weeks and gave his right hand a holiday for too long. Hence, he had neglected the needs of his little brother¹ which led to the vigorous fire that couldn’t be restrained even if it was a man who had teased him.

               [1] 小兄弟: … *pokes the comment section* 

This shouldn’t have happened.

Zhang Lingyi covered his face and hid in the bathroom as he began to comfort his suffering little brother.

But he didn’t know why w.a.n.g Guangning’s handsome and delicate face appeared involuntarily emerged in his mind.

w.a.n.g Guangning’s appearance as he sat on his thigh and laughed heartily.

And he himself lying on w.a.n.g Guangning’s chest, feeling the warmth and the heartbeat pounding beneath.

He was simply about to go insane!

Zhang Lingyi firmly despised himself as his little brother found release.

***

However, the truth was that w.a.n.g Guangning was actually not much calmer than Zhang Lingyi.

At the moment, w.a.n.g Guangning was in his dormitory and frantically searching on Baidu²——can heteros.e.xual people become gay?

               [2] 百度: internet portal and search engine used in China

What are the warning signs for when people become gay?

Under what circ.u.mstances will heteros.e.xual people have a reaction to someone of their own s.e.x?

…

And so on.

That’s right. Although w.a.n.g xiao cao gave the impression of being completely normal when together with Zhang Lingyi just then, in truth, his abnormal physiological reaction had already caused him to become deeply bewildered.

When he had pushed himself onto Zhang Lingyi, it had been merely an accidental move. He had also regarded his action of straddling Zhang Lingyi’s body as an ordinary occurrence between guys when messing around. However, when the lower half of their bodies had nestled together snugly, w.a.n.g Guangning felt a peculiar sensation overcoming him.

He had trembled, as there had been an unspeakable thrill of pleasure!

This kind of feeling which only emerged when he had those dreams, made his scalp tingle. Immediately afterwards, he had felt embarra.s.sed so he decided to feign nonchalance, as if nothing had happened.

However, when Zhang Lingyi had launched himself into his arms, w.a.n.g Guangning distinctly heard the frantic throbbing of his own heart in the moment where their chests had been stuck together.

At that second, w.a.n.g Guangning knew that he should have pushed Zhang Lingyi away. However, his body seemed to act by itself and hugged the other instead.

w.a.n.g Guangning wiped his face in vexation.

Why did everything become so chaotic?

Furthermore, he himself obviously had known that he was wrong, so why did he not stop and instead long for more³?

               [3] 食髓知味: directly translates to ‘having tasted the marrow, the longing for its savour grows’. In ancient China, marrow (of animals such as pigs) had been regarded as very delicious, hence once people had a taste of it, they would eat it again. This idiom apparently has a s.e.xual tinge to it, and also serves as a disapproving term as it has the meaning that even when you are attracted to something that you know is bad, you still want to try it again.

All the topics listed on Baidu regarding this subject was in disorder and w.a.n.g Guangning did not find any information which was useful so he simply decided to just get into bed and sleep early.

Upon returning to the dorm, Sun Siyang saw w.a.n.g Guangning lying on his bed. His entire head was hanging out, off the bed, and he had an expression of dismay.

“Guangning, what happened to you?” Sun Siyang asked in alarm.

“Nothing.” w.a.n.g Guangning withdrew his head back onto his bed and continued to look for a posture that was easy to fall asleep into. That’s right, it had already been an entire two hours since he had first climbed into his bed until now. w.a.n.g Guangning had been unable to fall asleep as he had been immersed in his grief that he may become gay.

“Ah, then why are you sleeping so early today?” Sun Siyang said. w.a.n.g Guangning usually studied particularly earnestly near the end of the semester and would revise until late into the night. It was extremely rare for a situation like this one to occur where he would already be in bed before anyone else returned to the dorm.

“It must be because it’s winter!” w.a.n.g Guangning stared up at the ceiling. En, it would be great if he could just directly enter hibernation like those cold-blooded animals.

“Ay, enough of that.” While tidying up his clothes, Sun Siyang sighed in sorrow, “I heard the cla.s.s monitor say that the quota of people in our department going on the exchange to Taiwan has already been determined. Oh, and a professor recommended you!”

“Ah?” w.a.n.g Guangning had been lost in thought and did not respond momentarily upon hearing such big news.

Sun Siyang stared at him with a face full of amazement, “Didn’t you know?”

w.a.n.g Guangning’s expression was dull, “No one has told me yet.”

Sun Siyang said, “I heard the cla.s.s monitor say that when he had visited the professor to get some materials, he just happened to see the list of names of those going on the exchange. There was only one person from our department, and that’s you. Now they’re just waiting for the president to sign and approve.” As he spoke, his eyebrow lifted, “Congratulations! Remember to invite me out to a meal when it’s approved.”

“Ah, alright!” w.a.n.g Guangning replied straightforwardly, however, he was not as excited as he had expected.

The exchange program between F University and one of Taiwan’s well-known universities was a collaborative project, with the exchange period being a year. Due to the limited amount of s.p.a.ce, the people who could go on this exchange were basically only the first-cla.s.s scholarship winners.

As the travel was free of cost, it was an event that all students in F University fell over each other in their eagerness to be admitted into.

w.a.n.g Guangning had fought for a long time for this place, and the university in Taiwan was outstanding in this field of study. Hence, he had always wanted to go there.

Originally, he should be very happy…

w.a.n.g Guangning sighed silently.

______________________________