After Life_ Answers From The Other Side Part 9

Six years later, Sandy is still talking to Jason. And their open lines of communication have made it possible for their relationship to continue to develop.

"Jason was not a kid you would have met and thought he was a wise old soul," Sandy explained. "He acted like your typical rowdy teenager. But now, since crossing over, he's grown, and our roles have changed. I've had to accept that he's no longer my teenage son who needs my protection, guidance, and direction. Instead, he seems to be offering me me guidance and direction when I need it." guidance and direction when I need it."

THIS EVOLVING OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP doesn't surprise me at all. I think once people get the hang of communicating with their loved ones who have crossed over, we'll have a new generation who will consider it commonplace to work on relationships with loved ones who are on the Other Side and see them grow. At the same time, I want to point out, as I did early on in this book, that while I encourage this building of relationships, I don't advocate creating a doesn't surprise me at all. I think once people get the hang of communicating with their loved ones who have crossed over, we'll have a new generation who will consider it commonplace to work on relationships with loved ones who are on the Other Side and see them grow. At the same time, I want to point out, as I did early on in this book, that while I encourage this building of relationships, I don't advocate creating a dependency dependency on communicating with the Other Side. We're still here to live our lives and shouldn't wait for a sign just to get us out of bed in the morning. A balance of both worlds is healthy so we can resolve past issues while still living in the present. on communicating with the Other Side. We're still here to live our lives and shouldn't wait for a sign just to get us out of bed in the morning. A balance of both worlds is healthy so we can resolve past issues while still living in the present.

"So many people think that once a loved one dies, the opportunity to transform the relationship they had with that person ends," says Dr. Jane Greer, author of The Afterlife Connection: A Therapist Reveals How to Communicate with Departed Loved Ones The Afterlife Connection: A Therapist Reveals How to Communicate with Departed Loved Ones. "However, in life, this person may have given all they could in terms of love and support within their own earthly limitations. When they cross over, the spiritual transformation they go through, I believe, enables them to finally give and respond on an energy plane in a way they may never have been able to do before."

In her book, Dr. Greer guides readers on how to effectively resolve their anger and form the relationship connections they couldn't make while a loved one was alive. "So if you had a troubled relationship with someone when they were here, and after they pa.s.s you have an open heart and a willingness to still mend that animosity-you can. Without a doubt, a healing interaction can still take place."

In the five months since my father pa.s.sed away, I've often spoken to him out loud and in my thoughts. I ask him daily to help me avoid making the mistakes with Justin that he and I made, and I also ask him to learn from my my experiences as a loving, understanding father. I'm certain that my father hears me. Already, I feel a different vibration between our energies . . . as if he sees and understands our relationship differently now. I feel a lessening of anger, and more empathy and compa.s.sion for him. experiences as a loving, understanding father. I'm certain that my father hears me. Already, I feel a different vibration between our energies . . . as if he sees and understands our relationship differently now. I feel a lessening of anger, and more empathy and compa.s.sion for him.

If you're wondering if I've had any direct, dramatic psychic visitations from my dad yet, as of the time of this writing this book I have not. But I consider my Aunt Theresa's dream a true visit from my father, and confirmation that both he and my mother are watching over their grandson from where they are. My father had already pa.s.sed when my aunt had that dream, and shortly after that, Justin did have a minor health problem that needed to be treated. I believe that was my dad's way of letting me know he was (finally) aware of my son and was watching out for him . . . perhaps in a way he never could for me. (I keep teasing Aunt Theresa that she's now going to have to guest-host a few episodes of Crossing Over Crossing Over .) .) But as I told you in Chapter 1, when I talked about watching my son being born and waiting for my relatives to show up in the delivery room, I've learned to stop looking for the grandiose, psychic billboard, or the big "Surrender Dorothy" "Surrender Dorothy" writing in the sky, because that's not always the way it happens. Sometimes the signs our loved ones send us are subtle, like hearing their favorite song on the radio, or getting a whiff of the scent of their perfume, or the smell of their cigarettes in the air. writing in the sky, because that's not always the way it happens. Sometimes the signs our loved ones send us are subtle, like hearing their favorite song on the radio, or getting a whiff of the scent of their perfume, or the smell of their cigarettes in the air.

So if you have a difficult relationship with a parent, child, or someone who has crossed over, please know that you still have a chance to work on that relationship after they're gone. However, I'm not saying you shouldn't try to work on your relationships when your loved ones are still alive alive. Please don't wait for them to cross over, thinking that this is the easier road to take.

I tried as much as I possibly could to honor my dying mother's wish that I reconcile and have a better relationship with my dad. It just didn't work. In life, my father's soul inhabited a vehicle that had a physical ailment-an addiction to alcohol that would often overtake him. I truly believe and live by my "communicate, appreciate, and validate" mantra, but I'm not Pollyana-like about it. If something isn't working when you've tried your best, should you continue to beat yourself over the head about it? I don't think so.

I believe that now, every day, I move forward and will develop a better relationship with my father-maybe not with the man man who was here on Earth, but instead, with the who was here on Earth, but instead, with the energy energy that was inside that man, which still exists. I may not be able to erase the past, like Dennis Quaid could in that film that was inside that man, which still exists. I may not be able to erase the past, like Dennis Quaid could in that film Frequency Frequency, and bring him back to do it all differently. But I can have a future that's more peaceful and complete where he's concerned. The major feeling I have is that the struggle between us is over-like it's disinte-grated in some way, even though there are days when I'm reminded of that old struggle.

A few weeks after he pa.s.sed, a friend of my father who only knew my dad's version of our relationship sent an angry letter to my office about how I hadn't been "a good son" and that I was being a hypocrite when I told people to "communicate, validate, and appreciate" their loved ones. Carol read the letter out loud to me, and I sighed. There are still little minefields planted all around me, reminders of the "old Jack" I once knew, but I'm dealing with them one by one as I walk on this journey of self-discovery and healing.

Sometimes I feel that my dad is sending me encouragement from above. Just last week I got together with my Uncle Thomas and his wife, Anne Marie, and they told me that my father was so proud of me when he was alive. He used to turn on Crossing Over Crossing Over and show me off to his friends, saying, "That's my son!" and show me off to his friends, saying, "That's my son!"

It's funny that, just like before, my father is telling me he's proud of me through other people. But I know it's true, and I know he hears me, and I believe that with him up there and me down here, we're both trying to bridge the gap inch by inch.

When I first heard the news that my father died, I must admit that for the first time in my life I felt . . . free. Not free of of him, but free to him, but free to love love him. him.

And now, he, too, is free to love me.

I really do believe in my mantra of validating, appreciating, and communicating with our loved ones while they're still here. But I also believe that we all have our human limits and can only go as far as those boundaries will allow. We can continue working on our troubled relationships after someone has crossed. By the same token, if we had a loving relationship with someone who has crossed over, that relationship also continues onward and grows in its love. Remember, your loved ones are around you and always with you. The love never dies.

After twenty years of doing this work and helping countless people (including myself) through grief, I'm still grateful for the constant validations the Other Side gives us. They occur quietly and unexpectedly, like the delivery-room moment when Justin was born and the staff uttered five names of my family who had pa.s.sed. On that day, I learned to focus on life happening in front of me. And the validations also appear on a grand scale. Soon after Justin was born, I made a seemingly impossible request of the Other Side. During a meditation one night, I asked my mother to validate once again that she saw Justin and knew she was a grandmother. "If you see this happening," I requested of my mother, "send me a rosary blessed by the Vatican."

A few weeks later, I received a letter at the office from a viewer of the show. It read, "I don't know why I'm sending this to you . . . but for whatever reason, I felt I had to. Here it is."

Out of the envelope a string of rosary beads dropped on my desk. They were blessed by the Vatican . . . with a card attached to it stamped with the date they were blessed: September 25th. Justin's birthday Justin's birthday.

We're all still searching for answers. But when I think of my father and my son, of my mother and my grandmother, of my wife, and of all the people who have connected with the ones they love on the Other Side, I think deep down that we already know the answer: The circle of love goes on and on and on. . . .

ABOUT THE AUTHORS.

John Edward is an internationally acclaimed psychic medium, author, and lecturer. On his internationally syndicated talk shows, is an internationally acclaimed psychic medium, author, and lecturer. On his internationally syndicated talk shows, Crossing Over with John Edward Crossing Over with John Edward and and John Edward Cross Country John Edward Cross Country, he captivated audiences worldwide with his unique abilities to connect people with loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side. John has been a frequent guest on CNN's Larry King Live Larry King Live, and has appeared on many other talk shows, including The Today Show The Today Show, Oprah Oprah, and The View The View. He is a regular guest on morning radio, including New York's WPLJ and Los Angeles' KROQ. John has been featured in articles in the New York Times New York Times, the Los Angeles Times Los Angeles Times, People People, and Entertainment Weekly Entertainment Weekly. John is the author of several New York Times New York Times best-sellers including best-sellers including Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories and and What If G.o.d Were the Sun? What If G.o.d Were the Sun? He conducts workshops and seminars around the world, and is the founder of the metaphysical Web site InfiniteQuest.com. John lives in New York with his family. He conducts workshops and seminars around the world, and is the founder of the metaphysical Web site InfiniteQuest.com. John lives in New York with his family.

Natasha Stoynoff is a staff correspondent for is a staff correspondent for People People magazine and has collaborated on five books- magazine and has collaborated on five books-Life's Little Emergencies with supermodel Emme, with supermodel Emme, Never Say Never Never Say Never with former CBS sportscaster Phyllis George, with former CBS sportscaster Phyllis George, After Life After Life and and Final Beginnings Final Beginnings with John Edward, and with John Edward, and Being Martha Being Martha with Lloyd Allen. She has worked as a news reporter/photographer for the with Lloyd Allen. She has worked as a news reporter/photographer for the Toronto Star Toronto Star, a columnist for the Toronto Sun Toronto Sun, and a reporter for Time Time magazine. Natasha lives in Manhattan and recently finished her first screenplay. magazine. Natasha lives in Manhattan and recently finished her first screenplay.

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Also by John Edward, available now from Sterling Publishing: Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories Practical Praying: Using the Rosary to Enhance Your Life Novels Final Beginnings What If G.o.d Were the Sun?