Advice to a Mother on the Management of Her Children Part 30

The reason why so many young girls of the present day are so sallow, under-sized, and ill-shaped, is for the want of air and exercise. After a time the want of air and exercise, by causing ill health, makes them slothful and indolent-it is a trouble for them to move from their chairs!

Respiration, digestion, and a proper action of the bowels, imperatively demand fresh air and exercise. Ill health will inevitably ensue if boys and girls are cooped up a great part of the day in a close room. A distinguished writer of the present day says: "The children of the very poor are always out and about. In this respect they are an example to those careful mammas who keep their children, the whole day long, in their chairs, reading, writing, ciphering, drawing, practising music lessons, doing crotchet work, or anything, in fact, except running about in spite of the sunshine always peeping in and inviting them out of doors; and who, in the due course of time, are surprised to find their children growing up with incurable heart, head, lung, or stomach complaints."

339. _What is the lest exercise for a youth_?

Walking or running: provided either of them be not carried to fatigue,--the slightest approach to it should warn a youth to desist from carrying it further. Walking exercise is not sufficiently insisted upon. A boy or a girl, to be in the enjoyment of good health, ought to walk at least ten miles every day. I do not mean ten miles at a stretch, but at different times of the day. Some young ladies think it an awfully long walk if they manage a couple of miles! How can they, with such exercise, expect to be well? How can their muscles be developed? How can their nerves be braced? How can their spines be strengthened and be straight? How can their blood course merrily through their blood-vessels? How can their chests expand and be strong? Why, it is impossible! Ill health must be the penalty of such indolence, for Nature will not be trifled with! Walking exercise, then, is the finest exercise that can be taken, and must be taken, and that without stint, if boys and girls are to be strong and well! The advantage of our climate is, that there is not a day in the whole year that walking exercise cannot be enjoyed. I use the term enjoyed advisedly. The roads may, of course, be dirty; but what of that A good thick pair of boots will be the remedy.

Do then, let me entreat you, insist upon your--girls and boys taking plenty of exercise; let them almost live in the open air! Do not coddle them; this is a rough; world of ours, and they must rough it; they must be knocked about a great deal, and the knocks will do them, good. Poor youths who are, as it were, tied to their mother's ap.r.o.n strings, are much to be pitied; they are usually puny and delicate, and effeminate, and utterly deficient of self-reliance.

340. _Do you approve of--horse or pony exercise for boys and girls_?

Most certainly I do; but still it ought not to supersede walking. Horse or pony exercise is very beneficial, and cannot be too strongly recommended. One great advantage for those living in towns, which it has over walking, is, that a person may go further into the country, and thus be enabled to breathe a purer and more healthy atmosphere. Again, it is a much more amusing exercise than walking, and this, for the young, is a great consideration indeed.

Horse exercise is for both boys and girls a splendid exercise; it improves the figure, it gives grace to the movements, it strengthens the chest, it braces the muscles, and gives to the character energy and courage. Both boys and girls ought to be early taught to ride.

There is nothing that gives more pleasure to the young than riding either on a pony or on a horse, and for younger children, even on that despised, although useful animal, a donkey. Exercise, taken with pleasure, is doubly beneficial.

If girls were to ride more on horseback than they now do, we should hear less of crooked spines and of round shoulders, of chlorosis and of hysteria, and of other numerous diseases of that cla.s.s, owing, generally, to debility and to mismanagement.

Those ladies who "affect the saddle" are usually much healthier, stronger, and straighter than those who either never or but seldom ride on horseback.

Siding on horseback is both an exercise and an amus.e.m.e.nt, and is peculiarly suitable for the fair s.e.x, more especially as their modes of exercise are somewhat limited, ladies being excluded from following many games, such as cricket, and foot-ball, both of which are practised, with such zest and benefit, by the rougher s.e.x.

341. _Do you approve of carriage exercise_?

There is no muscular exertion in carriage exercise; its princ.i.p.al advantage is, that it enables a person to have a change of air, which may be purer than the one he is in the habit of breathing. But, whether it be so or not, change of air frequently does good, even, if the air be not so pure. Carriage exercise, therefore, does only partial good, and ought never to supersede either walking or horse exercise.

342. _What is the best time of the day, for the taking of exercise_?

In the summer time, early in the morning and before breakfast, as "cool morning air exhilarates young blood like wine." If a boy cannot take exercise upon an empty stomach, let him have a slice of bread and a draught of milk. When he returns home he will be able to do justice to his breakfast. In fine weather he cannot take too much exercise, provided it be not carried to fatigue.

343. _What is the best time for him to keep quiet_?

He ought not to take exercise immediately after--say for half an hour after--a hearty meal, or it will be likely to interfere with his digestion.

AMUs.e.m.e.nTS.

344. _What amus.e.m.e.nts do you recommend for a boy as being most beneficial to health_?

Manly games--such as rowing, skating, cricket, quoits, foot-ball, rackets, single-stick, bandy, bowls, skittles, and all gymnastic exercises. Such games bring the muscles into proper action, and thus cause them to be fully developed. They expand and strengthen the chest; they cause a due circulation of the blood, making it to bound merrily through the blood-vessels, and thus to diffuse health and happiness in its course. Another excellent amus.e.m.e.nt for boys, is the brandishing of clubs. They ought to be made in the form of a constable's staff, but should be much larger and heavier. The manner of handling them is so graphically described by Addison that I cannot do better than transcribe it--"When I was some years younger than I am at present, I used to employ myself in a more laborious diversion, which I learned from a Latin treatise of exercises that is written with great erudition; it is there called the [Greek: skiomachia] or the fighting with a man's own shadow, and consists in the brandishing of two short sticks grasped in each hand, and loaded with plugs of lead at either end. This opens the chest, exercises the limbs, and gives a man all the pleasure of boxing without the blows. I could wish that several learned men would lay out that time which they employ in controversies and disputes about nothing, in this method of fighting with their own shadows. It might conduce very much to evaporate the spleen which makes them uneasy to the public as well as to themselves."

Another capital, healthful game is single-stick, which makes a boy "to gain an upright and elastic carriage, and to learn the use of his limbs."--_H. Kingsley_. Single-stick may be taught by any drill-sergeant in the neighbourhood. Do everything to make a boy strong. Remember, "the glory of young men is their strength."

If games were more patronised in youth, so many miserable, nervous, useless creatures would not abound. Let a boy or girl, then, have plenty of play; let half of his or her time be spent in play.

There ought to be a gymnasium established in every town of the kingdom. The gymnasium, the cricket ground, and the swimming bath, are among our finest establishments, and should be patronised accordingly.

First of all, by an abundance of exercise and fresh air make your boys and girls strong, and then, in due time, they will be ready and be able to have their minds properly cultivated. Unfortunately, in this enlightened age, we commence at the wrong end--we put the cart before the horse--we begin by cultivating the mind, and we leave the body to be taken care of afterwards; the results are, broken health, precocious, stunted, crooked, and deformed youths, and premature decay.

One great advantage of gymnastic exercise is, it makes the chest expand, it fills the lungs with air, and by doing so strengthens them amazingly, and wards off many diseases. The lungs are not sufficiently exercised and expanded; boys and girls, girls especially, do not as a rule half fill their lungs with air; now air to the lungs is food to the lungs, and portions of the lungs have not half their proper food, and in consequence suffer.

It is very desirable that every boy and girl should, every day of his or her life, and for a quarter of an hour at least each time, go through a regular _breathing exercise_--that is to say, should be made to stand upright, throw back the shoulders, and the while alternately and regularly fully fill and fully empty the lungs of air. If this plan were daily followed, the chest and lungs would be wonderfully invigorated, and the whole body benefited.

345. _Is playing the flute, blowing the bugle, or any other wind instrument, injurious to health_?

Decidedly so: the lungs and the windpipe are brought into unnatural action by them. If a boy be of a consumptive habit, this will, of course, hold good with tenfold force. If a youth must be musical let him be taught singing, as that, provided the lungs be not diseased, will be beneficial.

346. _What amus.e.m.e.nts do you recommend for a girl_?

Archery, skipping, horse exercise, croquet, the hand-swing, the fly-pole, skating, and dancing, are among the best. Archery expands the chest, throws back the shoulders, thus improving the figure, and develops the muscles. Skipping is exceedingly good exercise for a girl, every part of the body being put into action by it Horse exercise is splendid for a girl; it improves the figure amazingly--it is most exhilarating and amusing; moreover, it gives her courage and makes her self-reliant Croquet develops and improves the muscles of the arms, beautifies the complexion, strengthens the back, and throws out the chest. Croquet is for girls and women what cricket is for boys and men--a glorious game. Croquet has improved both the health and the happiness of womankind more than any game ever before invented.

Croquet, in the bright sunshine, with the winds of heaven blowing about the players, is not like a ball in a stifling hot ball-room, with gas-lights poisoning the air. Croquet is a more sensible amus.e.m.e.nt than dancing; it brings the intellect as well as the muscles into play. The man who invented croquet has deserved greater glory, and has done more good to his species, than many philosophers whose names are emblazoned in story. Hand-swing is a capital exercise for a girl, the whole of the body is thrown into action by it, and the spine, the shoulders, and the shoulder-blades, are especially benefited. The fly-pole, too, is good exercise for the whole of the muscles of the body, especially of the legs and the arms. Skating is for a girl excellent exercise, and is as exhilarating as a gla.s.s of champagne, but will do her far more good! Skating improves the figure, and makes a girl balance and carry herself upright and well; it is a most becoming exercise for her, and is much in every way to be commended. Moreover, skating gives a girl courage and self-reliance.

Dancing, followed as a rational amus.e.m.e.nt, causes a free circulation of the blood, and provided it does not induce her to sit up late at night, is most beneficial.

347. _If dancing be so beneficial why are b.a.l.l.s such fruitful sources of coughs, of cold, and consumptions_?

On many accounts. They induce young ladies to sit up late at night; they cause them to dress more lightly than they are accustomed to do; and thus thinly clad, they leave their homes while the weather is perhaps piercingly cold, to plunge into a suffocating, hot ballroom, made doubly injurious by the immense number of lights, which consume the oxygen intended for the due performance of the healthy functions of the lungs. Their partners, the brilliancy of the scene, and the music, excite their nerves to undue and thus to unnatural, action, and what is the consequence? Fatigue, weakness, hysterics, and extreme depression follow. They leave the heated ball-room when the morning has far advanced, to breathe the bitterly cold and frequently damp air of a winter's night, and what is the result? Hundreds die of consumption, who might otherwise have lived. Ought there not, then, to be a distinction between a ball at midnight and a dance in the evening?

348. _But still, would you have a girl brought up to forego the pleasure of a ball_?

If a parent prefer her so-called pleasures to her health, certainly not; to such a mother I do not address myself.

349. _Have you any remarks to make on singing, or on reading aloud_?

Before a mother allows her daughter to take lessons in singing, she should ascertain that there be no actual disease of the lungs, for if there be, it will probably excite it into action; but if no disease exist, singing or reading aloud is very conducive to health. Public singers are seldom known to die of consumption. Singing expands the chest, improves the p.r.o.nunciation, enriches the voice for conversation, strengthens the lungs, and wards off many of their diseases.

350. _Do you approve of corporal punishments in schools_?

I do not. I consider it to be decidedly injurious both to body and mind. Is it not painful to witness the pale cheeks and the dejected looks of those boys who are often flogged? If their tempers are mild, their spirits are broken; if their dispositions are at all obstinate, they become hardened and wilful, and are made little better than brutes. [Footnote: "I would have given him, Captain Fleming, had he been my son," quoth old Pearson the elder, "such's good sound drubbing as he never would have forgotten--never!"

"Pooh! pooh! my good sir. Don't tell me. Never saw flogging in the navy do good. Kept down brutes; never made a man yet."--Dr Norman Macleod in _Good Words_, May 1861.] A boy who is often flogged loses that n.o.ble ingenuousness and fine sensibility so characteristic of youth. He looks upon his school as his prison, and his master as his gaoler, and as he grows up to manhood, hates and despises the man who has flogged him. Corporal punishment is revolting, disgusting, and demoralising to the boy; and is degrading to the schoolmaster as a man and as a Christian,

If schoolmasters must flog, let them flog their own sons. If they must ruin the tempers, the dispositions, and the const.i.tution of boys, they have more right to practise upon their own than on other people's children! Oh! that parents would raise--and that without any uncertain sound--their voices against such abominations, and the detestable cane would soon be banished the school-room! "I am confident that no boy," says Addison, "who will not be allured by letters without blows, will never be brought to anything with them. A great or good mind must necessarily be the worse for such indignities; and it is a sad change to lose of its virtue for the improvement of its knowledge. No one has gone through what they call a great school, but must have remembered to have seen children of excellent and ingenuous natures (as have afterwards appeared in their manhood). I say, no man has pa.s.sed through this way of education but must have seen an ingenuous creature expiring with shame, with pale looks, beseeching sorrow, and silent tears, throw up its honest sighs, and kneel on its tender knees to an inexorable blockhead, to be forgiven the false quant.i.ty of a word in making a Latin verse. The child is punished, and the next day he commits a like crime, and so a third, with the same consequence. I would fain ask any reasonable man whether this lad, in the simplicity of his native innocence, full of shame, and capable of any impression from that grace of soul, was not fitter for any purpose in this life than after that spark of virtue is extinguished in him, though he is able to write twenty verses in an evening?"

How often is corporal punishment resorted to at school because the master is in a pa.s.sion, and he vents his rage upon the poor school-boy's unfortunate back!

Oh! the mistaken notion that flogging will make a bad-behaved boy a good boy; it has the contrary effect. "'I dunno how 'tis, sir,' said an old farm labourer, in reply to a question from his clergyman respecting the bad behaviour of his children, 'I dunno how 'tis; I beats 'em till they're black and blue, and when they won't kneel down to pray I knocks 'em down, and yet they ain't good.'"--_The Birmingham Journal._

In an excellent article in _Temple Bar_(November 1864) on flogging in the army, the following sensible remarks occur:--"In nearly a quarter of a century's experience with soldiers, the writer has always, and without a single exception, found flogging makes a good man bad, and a bad man worse." With equal truth it may be said that, without a single exception, flogging makes a good boy bad, and a bad boy worse. How many men owe their ferocity to the canings they received when school-boys! The early floggings hardened and soured them, and blunted their sensibility.

Dr Arnold of Rugby, one of the best schoolmasters that England ever produced, seldom caned a boy--not more than once or twice during the half year; but when he did cane him, he charged for the use of the cane each time in the bill, in order that the parents might know how many times their son had been punished. At some of our public schools now-a-days, a boy is caned as many times in a morning as the worthy doctor would have caned him during the whole half year; but then, the doctor treated the boys as gentlemen, and trusted much to their honour; but now many schoolmasters trust much to fear, little to honour, and treat them as brute beasts.

It might be said that the discipline of a school cannot be maintained unless the boys be frequently caned, that it must be either caning or expulsion. I deny these a.s.sertions. Dr Arnold was able to conduct his school with honour to himself, and with immense benefit to the rising generation, without either frequent canings or expulsions. The humane plan, however, requires at first both trouble and patience; and trouble some schoolmasters do not like, and patience they do not possess; the use of the cane is quick, sharp, decisive, and at the time effective.

If caning be ever necessary, which it might occasionally be, for the telling of lies for instance, or for gross immorality, let the head master himself be the only one to perform the operation, but let him not be allowed to delegate it to others. A law ought in all public schools to be in force to that effect. High time that something were done to abate such disgraceful practices.

Never should a schoolmaster, or any one else, be allowed, _on any pretence whatever_, to strike a boy upon his head. Boxing of the ears has sometimes caused laceration of the drum of the ear, and consequent partial deafness for life. Boxing of the ears injures the brain, and therefore the intellect.

It might be said, that I am travelling out of my province in making remarks on corporal chastis.e.m.e.nt in schools? But, with deference, I reply that I am strictly in the path of duty. My office is to inform you of everything that is detrimental to your children's health and happiness; and corporal punishment is a.s.suredly most injurious both to their health and happiness. It is the bounden duty of every man, and especially of every medical man, to lift up his voice against the abominable, disgusting, and degrading system of flogging, and to warn parents of the danger and the mischief of sending boys to those schools where flogging is, except in rare and flagrant cases, permitted.