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"Not only that," I add, "but why did they stray so far from the prophecy of the Seer about Oman's universe? You said yourself it wasn't due for death for another seventy billion years. If they work for The House, shouldn't they abide by the law that the Seers put forth?"
Elli shrugs, but her usual good-natured smile is absent from her face. "A lot to think about, but nothing the Leaders of The House aren't already asking themselves, I'm sure. You can bet if you've wondered it, so have they."
I struggle to my feet. "You're putting a lot of faith in the hierarchy. That's not like you at all."
Elli follows suit, raising from the ground and walking back to her desk. "Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf. Or maybe I don't have a choice. If the Harbingers are straying against the rules-well, I'm sure you can imagine what that means for The House. Chaos, outrage, ma.s.s destruction. None of it good."
My mouth turns to cotton and suddenly I want to be anywhere but here. The air feels as if it's suffocating me, and beads of sweat form on my forehead.
"I've got to go," I say, and rush to the door, exiting out into the bright light of The House's halls.
I stand with my back to the door, my head resting against the wood as my breath comes in gasps. Panic clenches my stomach and causes bile to rise up my throat. I swallow it back down, praying to forget Elli's words of warning.
The Harbingers aren't after us, I tell myself. They're Harmless, just as Nim says.
The mantra does little good, and soon black dots close in on my vision. I focus on a point in front of me-the keyhole drilled into the door across the hall.
Before I can stop myself I'm walking across the corridor, standing before the locked room. I jiggle the handle, but it still doesn't turn. Bending over and squinting an eye, I press my socket against the keyhole, but the s.p.a.ce is too small to see through.
Groaning, I sink to the floor and splay out on my belly, turning my head to the side so that my ear presses against the ground and I can look through the crack beneath the door. All I can see is a glowing light that sends a kaleidoscope of colors across my vision-yellows and blues, pinks and greens, silvers and golds all at once-and for a moment I am blinded. I slide my hand to the edge of the door and the illumination that dances across my skin radiates with the same warmth that the sight of Noah brings me.
I feel a nudge in my gut and flip over. Nim stands above me, her toe sunk into the soft flesh of my belly.
"Haven't we had this talk already?" she says. "Doors are locked for a reason."
I stumble to my feet and avoid her stern gaze. "Sorry, Nim," I reply, and let her lead me back down the hall to my room. She lectures at me all the way about watching dying universes and peering into places I don't belong, but I don't really listen. I'm thinking, instead-about what seeing the harbingers on Earth means, about what lies on the other side of that door. It can't be a coincidence the cloaked figures disappeared right in front of it.
No; they left me before the Archives Room for a reason, and despite Nim's dubious warnings to forget my investigation into the Harbinger's intentions, the only way to a.s.suage my curiosity is to find out what they're up to.
Chapter Eleven.
Oman's funeral is much worse than Dena's.
Perhaps it's because I know what he looked like before he fell ill. Even if we encountered each other for only a split second, it was enough to make me realize this isn't how his life should be treated: disposable, like garbage cast into the void.
I cry into Nim's shoulder the whole time. Elli stands next to me, squeezing my hand tight as I sob. For once the two of them look at each other without disapproval; instead they're just concerned, though I don't know for what. For me? For the ominous air that has befallen the room after two deaths inside such a short span of time? Maybe it's a combination of both that brings them together and makes them realize now isn't the time to fuel their dislike.
I watch Oman as the Aiders carry him to the door. I see Dante cast him into the void. I remember Oman's face-tight and terrified-as he blinks out of existence. His expression haunts me every time I shut my eyes, as if his image is a waking nightmare I can't shake.
Afterwards, I tell Nim I want to be alone and head into the Watch Room. She doesn't follow me inside the chamber, but I can feel her hovering right outside the door, waiting for a moment in which I might need her. The act is both annoying and endearing at the same time.
I drop my orb into a clear basin, admiring the flash of galaxies and stars that project onto the walls. Then, in the blink of an eye, I am gray smoke, funneling into the crystal ball and flying through the universe held within. I dodge planets and meteors as I careen through the black expanse of s.p.a.ce, seeking the little blue planet that can give me a distraction from all that has gone wrong in the past few days.
Rocketing through the atmosphere, my molecules shudder and reform as I alight the beach. I am surprised when droplets of water plunk down against my head and shoulders. The lake in front of me is swept up in a jittering dance as the rain spatters across the surface.
I look to my left at an empty stretch of wet sand, and then to my right. Noah sits on the only dry patch of silt, a black umbrella hoisted above his head as he stares out at the rolling current. The sound of the rain coursing down from overhead masks my footsteps and he doesn't look up until I set my hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," I say before he can get a word in edgewise. Raindrops flick from my lips as I speak. "I was rude last time we talked."
Noah stands, turns to me. He inches forward, sheltering me under the curve of the umbrella. It creates a dome of muted sounds around us, as if we're in our own little world together.
Noah is so close I can feel his breath against my skin. He tilts his head down, bending ever nearer, and I stay him with a flat palm held gently on his chest. Even through his thick sweater, the warmness of his skin radiates up my fingers.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
His lips are inches from mine as he responds. "I was afraid you'd never come back, and I promised myself I'd do this if you ever did. I have to do this, Amara. Before I lose my nerve. Before I never see you again."
Noah tilts in again, and this time I let my elbow relent as he leans closer. His mouth closes over mine and my head goes fuzzy. My hand drops away from his chest, my fingers reaching up to entangle in his hair. Suddenly the urge to be even nearer overwhelms me, and I press my body against his with a hunger I didn't know I had.
Forgetting the umbrella, he lets the handle drop from his hand so that it is cast away in the sand. Rain pours down and intermingles with our kiss. He wraps one arm around the small of my back and pulls me in tight, so tight that I can feel his heart pound on top of mine.
When he finally pulls away, he runs a thumb and forefinger gently across the line of my jaw, his gaze locked onto mine. He must see the conflict held in the silver there, because he whispers, "Was that too much?"
"Never," I whisper back, and lean in again.
We don't come up for air until we're drenched to the bone and the rain has ceased to fall.
"Just a little farther," Noah says.
He's leading me up a winding path carved into the side of a hill. My sandals sink into the mud as I walk, splattering onto my knees and staining my skin a ruddy red color. When Noah sees me struggling he takes my arm and helps guide me forward, up and up until we reach a rocky peak that overlooks the lake below.
"What is it you wanted to show me?" I ask while staring down into the swirling water below. The waves beat against the cliff face, breaking through the haze of mist hanging low over the surface after the rainfall.
Noah places a finger under my chin and tilts my head back until I look up at the sky. Above us, an array of colors is painted across the clear blue atmosphere. I've seen rainbows in drawings held within the books of the Archives Room, but they don't compare to reality. My breath steals from my lungs and I am left speechless, gazing up at the beauty overhead.
"I'm sure it doesn't compare to the things you see flying through universes, but it's pretty cool," Noah says.
I turn to him, my eyes sparkling. "It's lovely."
My legs are tired from the walk, so I slide down into the wet gra.s.s and sit with my legs overhanging the edge of the cliff. Noah follows suit, taking off his gla.s.ses and rubbing the lenses against a dry spot on his shirt.
"I needed this," I say after a time. "It's a nice break after what's been going on at The House."
"Why? Is something wrong?" he asks, sliding the gla.s.ses back onto his face.
"Two Watchers died. Their universes were destroyed. It shouldn't be happening, not so close together, but the other members won't listen to me when I warn them that something's not right."
I tell him the whole story then, from start to finish, and he listens in bated breath, only asking questions when I mention a term he's unfamiliar with. As I speak, the world falls away around me. It is only us and the rainbow and the wet gra.s.s under my hands. The words pour out of me, and after I'm done a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
"I don't like the idea of you being away from here-in a place between time and s.p.a.ce-where I can't help. I wish I could go back with you," Noah says.
"Are you sure your desire to come with me has nothing to do with swimming through galaxies and seeing stars?" I ask playfully.
He grins. "I guess that's part of it. But really-I'm drawn to you for some reason. I don't know how to describe the feeling." The smile slides away as he struggles to come up with a proper description. "It's like you're a part of me. From the moment I saw you, I knew we had some kind of connection. I've never gotten so attached to someone so fast."
I close my eyes, trying to feel what he feels. Truth be told, I've been so caught up in the string of events plaguing The House that I haven't had a chance to consider the root of my emotions for Noah. But as soon as he says it, I feel the same thing too-like we're bonded, like letting go of him would physically hurt.
"Maybe this is just what it feels like to care," I say.
"No," he says, frowning. "It's more than that."
I shuffle away from the cliff face and stand, helping Noah to his feet as I speak. "Whatever you feel, I'm glad for it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to care about me, too."
"Of course I care about you. I-"
Noah drops off in the middle of his sentence as he stands and looks over my shoulder. The color drains from his skin. I spin around to see what's frightened him and nearly scream.
The Harbingers glide toward us, blocking the path down from the cliff. As they draw nearer the darkness inside of their hoods begins to glow with a dim red light. As soon as the illumination appears my body is grasped with an overwhelming fatigue, as if the life is being drained from my veins.
I wail and stumble into Noah's side. His face is a sickly shade of green, and I know he's feeling the same thing I am. The Harbingers glide closer, surrounding us, as my legs become weak and shaky.
"Noah," I whisper, my voice hoa.r.s.e from the Harbinger's spell. He murmurs in recognition, though I can't understand what he says. "Noah," I repeat. "Have to get away."
I take a shuddering step forward, thinking we can run through them, but as soon as I do the fatigue grows stronger. It's as if my molecules are being pulled apart, rearranged-like the hooded figures are doing to my insides what they do to the universes they destroy.
Backing up to the edge of the cliff, I feel rocks crumble beneath my heels. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to run.
"Jump," I say. "Jump, Noah."
We turn to face the lake, Noah takes my hand, and we leap off the cliff.
Earth is suspended around me as I fall, a blaze of colors and sounds that are unfamiliar but comforting all at once. The moment seems to go on forever, panic seizing my chest as we rocket toward the lake, and then we plunge into the icy water below.
Churning bubbles swarm up around us, turning the water white and frothy over our heads. I struggle to open my eyes and through the chaos I see Noah floating near the sandy bottom. His expression is sheer surprise, and I realize with horror that the lake is too cold for him. He's not a member of The House, not like me; the temperature fazes him and bites into his muscles in a way I can't possibly feel.
I kick my legs and arms out, swimming down until I can wrap an arm around his shoulder. Using the force of my feet against the lake bottom I push us up until our heads break free into open air.
Noah gasps, shivering, his gla.s.ses askew and his wet hair clinging to his forehead.
"You've got to kick, Noah! Kick!" I yell, my voice frantic. Thankfully he heeds my advice, somehow forcing his muscles to move through the icy water that swirls around us. I shoot one more look at the rock face above-the Harbingers are nowhere to be seen-and then I pump my body toward the sh.o.r.e.
We make it to the beach right as Noah's legs give out, and I'm forced to half-drag him onto the sh.o.r.e. He lies in the sand, gasping for air and shuddering for some time before he's able to lift himself up again and head in the direction of the road.
I let him lean into me as we walk to his house. The heat of the indoors stills his shaking limbs. The silence there envelops me almost as completely as that projected by the void. His parents and Lizzie are nowhere in sight.
"N-N-No one's home right now," he stutters through chattering teeth. "Lizzie has a choir concert, and Mom and Dad have gone to cheer her on."
He leads me through the dining room into the back hall, turning through the open door of his bedroom. I stand awkwardly at the threshold, peering inside.
"What?" he asks, studying my face. "You look like you've been here before."
"No," I say, blushing. "No, I-I just shouldn't be here. Nim's warned me about getting too close to the life forms I watch. We've already spent too much time together as it is."
Noah grabs my hand, pulling me across the boundary with a gentle persistence. He leads me to the bed, where I sit down, clasping my hands in my lap as he pulls off his wet sweater and exposes his bare chest.
My heart leaps into my throat and my cheeks turn a deeper shade of scarlet. I avert my gaze and fiddle with a loose thread hanging from the comforter.
Noah disappears into the hall again and when he comes back, he has on a fresh pair of jeans and two towels in his hands. He hands me one and I run it through my hair until it's no longer dripping.
"Those were the Harbingers you told me about," he says, sitting down on the bed next to me.
I nod. "They've never tried to attack me before. Maybe they know I told Nim about my suspicions. Whatever the case, I have to get back to The House and warn them."
He draws my hands into his and pulls me back to the bed as I stand. "I don't want you to go. What if something happens? I should be there to protect you."
I lean my forehead against his and smile. "Need I remind you who saved who in the lake today? I'm a member of The House. We don't need protecting from anyone."
My lips connect with his for one last, bittersweet kiss, and then I'm on my feet, turning to smoke, and I'm gone. Before I disappear, though, Noah yells one last plea into the air.
"Come back soon!" he says, and his words ring in my ears through all the galaxies as I find my way home.
Chapter Twelve.
My clothes drip across the marble floor and my sandals track mud as I run into the hall and come to stand before Nim. She gasps when she sees my state.
"You're a mess!" she says.
"That's not important now," I reply. "The House is under attack. Harbingers came for me on Earth today."
"What did you just say, Amara?" a cool male voice asks. I turn and see Dante striding down the hall toward us.
"Perhaps we should take this conversation elsewhere," Nim suggests, half under her breath.
"No," I say. "He should hear this too."
Dante arches an eyebrow. "This should be good. Does it explain why you've tracked dirt into The House?"
I ignore the snide remark and continue on. "Three Harbingers appeared to me today. They attacked me. Whatever they did-it was like they sucked the life right out of me. I think they're after us, all of us. They're destroying universes one by one. They killed Dena and Oman and now they're after me."
"Ridiculous accusations."
"It's the truth!"
"Is that so?" Dante snaps. "Then tell me why your universe is still up and running. If the Harbingers came for you, why aren't you dead like the others?"
I open my mouth, but no words come out. Nim sets an encouraging arm around my shoulder and I'm spurred to try again. "I don't know. But whatever they're up to, it can't be good."