According To Jane Part 16

Nevertheless, in his tux, it was impossible not to notice how gorgeous Sam looked. Unfair, because it reminded me I wasn't exactly indifferent to him. Although, G.o.d knew, I'd tried to be.

As we swayed together, something recognizable sparked between us, but it wasn't love or even l.u.s.t. It was awkwardness. For a split second, Sam seemed as uneasy and uncomfortable as I was, which must've been a first in Glen Forest history.

"Having fun?" I managed to murmur.

"Yep," he answered, not quite believably, as the music changed to "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger.

"Um, well...good," I said, not knowing what else to say.

Comment on the weather or on the number of couples, Jane instructed helpfully.

I smiled.

"What's so funny?" Sam asked, his eyes lighting up a bit, as if the prospect of a joke made dancing with me more bearable.

"Nothing much."

"So," he said as he shot a look in Jason and Amanda's direction, "is Bertignoli behaving himself?"

"Yeah." I stared into those mocking blue eyes. "Are you behaving yourself?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Sure. So far." Then he did something he'd never done. He winked at me. "But the night's still young."

"What? Planning Amanda's deflowering later?"

A dangerous grin played at the corners of his lips. "Been there, done that, no T-shirts necessary."

"Great," I said, noticing the predatory way he looked at me.

He laughed. "Don't worry, Ellie. There's plenty of sin and debauchery to go around."

I considered this. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but my inquisitive nature and the strangeness of being in Sam's arms again made me bold. "Guys don't really want that, though, do they? They want to at least have the illusion of being the pursuer. They don't want a girl who'll give in too easily, right?"

He looked at me, startled, then narrowed his eyes at Jason's dancing form with surprising animosity. "Depends on the guy." He returned his gaze to my face. "And on the girl."

I didn't answer this time.

Jane tsked loudly and muttered a series of comments that included the phrases "appalling behaviour" and "unpardonable lout."

Sam's grip tightened around my waist. The weight of his fingertips pressed into me-a sensuous, seductive touch-and I felt the smooth glide of his thumb over my knuckles.

He stepped two inches closer as we moved to the melody, and I inhaled his scent. Pure masculinity. And probably his father's cologne. Or, did he buy his own now? The possibility made him seem so grown up. He pulled me closer still, and my heart began to thump. When did the arrogant Sam Blaine turn into someone other than the Brainiac Bad Boy I thought I knew? When did he begin to change into a man?

"Switch dance!" the DJ bellowed.

I stepped back so abruptly I made Terrie's sister, Sabrina, who was dancing near us, jump. Her partner-of-the-moment tripped.

"Sorry," I said.

He regained his footing, though, and asked, "Wanna switch?"

"N-Not this time. Thanks." Walking backward, I skittered away from them, my eyes still trained on Sam's face. "I need to get some water," I called out. "But, uh, you guys have fun."

Sabrina's partner shrugged and turned toward another couple. Sabrina slanted me an odd look. Sam just raised a brow and the corresponding corner of his lips. I ran off the dance floor, the newest INXS song-"Need You Tonight"-nipping at the heels of my white pumps. Then I hyperventilated in the hall. Alone.

Two minutes later, a familiar male voice whispered in my ear, "Are you okay, Ellie?"

I looked deep into Jason's warm, brown eyes and found the comfort I'd been seeking. I nodded, and he walked me back into the gym, his arm tenderly draped over my shoulder.

Jason was my friend. Okay, so he didn't fill me with wanton l.u.s.t, but his less-demanding nature took the edge off my loneliness and off the haunting desperation I couldn't seem to let go of.

"When's the crowning of the king and queen?" I glanced at my watch, which read a depressingly early 9:23.

"In an hour. Once that's over we can blow outta here."

I infused high-voltage warmth into my grin and radiated it at him. "Sounds like a plan. Maybe we can liven things up then."

A perilous glint of interest-curiosity, I gathered, mixed with something I couldn't deduce-sparked in his eye. "You can count on it," he said.

Later that night, at the city's finest hotel, the Glen Forest Four Seasons, our gang was "Locked In" for the evening. With the limos gone and parent chaperones at the ready to guard exits, confiscate alcohol and prohibit l.u.s.tful behavior, we were effectively trapped until morning.

Terrie, Sabrina, Krista and I parted company with the guys, agreeing to meet them soon for the Post-Prom Party. We then hopped into an elevator heading toward the girls' floor. With the coast clear, Terrie and Sabrina began whispering about which cover story to tell their parents and how the logistics of the evening ought to play out. It was decided that Terrie and Krista would sneak onto the guys' floor for the night while Sabrina and I would stay in our a.s.signed rooms...but with our dates.

Thirty minutes later we were on the down elevator, and then in the dimly lit Winnebago Room. A strobe light illuminated the parquet floor with dappled streaks of color, and the piped-in strains of "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack floated above us. The guys spotted us right away and marched in our direction, plastic gla.s.ses of punch in their hands.

Jason handed me one and winked. "I just fixed it for you."

I took a sip of the bright red drink and my tongue burned with the distinctive sting of cheap vodka. "Mmm," I managed to say before coughing. "Thanks."

He grinned. "You're welcome." He lowered his voice and added, "Don't worry. I got enough left to doctor everyone's second gla.s.s, too. Then we can break into Matt's Everclear."

"Super," I murmured, forcing myself to take another sip before scanning the room. Couples littered every corner, the watchful eyes of the chaperones darting between them.

I eyed the couples I was with. I didn't know Sabrina and Nate's intimacy status, but Krista and Steve had obviously done it before, as had Terrie and Matt. For the first time ever, I had to admit being a virgin was starting to become more of a liability than an a.s.set. My reputation might be snowy, but was it worth the price of not feeling close to anyone?

A few couples left the room and my field of vision opened up to include Sam and Amanda in the panorama. She nuzzled against him and his hand stroked her swaying dark hair with a gentleness I could detect even from a distance. As I watched them, I felt Jason's strong fingers grasp my hand. He tugged me toward him, and I let him hold me as we stood there, marking time, seeing our friends and the other teens float in and out of the Winnebago Room. Foreigner's "I Wanna Know What Love Is" came on.

Jason groaned.

"What? You don't like this song?" I asked him.

He blinked and pulled me closer. "I like it. I just-" He downed the rest of his punch.

"You just what?"

He sighed. "Is there anywhere we could go to talk, Ellie? It's kinda loud in here."

I shrugged. "Sure."

We told the others we were leaving for a bit. Terrie's grin brightened. I rolled my eyes at her. Steve winked knowingly at us, and I felt Jason's grip on my hand tighten.

We found a secluded spot off the lobby, a gingham-covered loveseat across from two potted ferns. Very relaxing ambiance, or it would've been if I hadn't been aware that some Momentous Occurrence might well be on the horizon.

"So, what's up?" I said, my palms beginning to sweat. I let go of Jason's hand.

He glanced around us, then balanced his empty punch gla.s.s between his legs and poured most of the remaining vodka into it. "Want any more?" he asked me.

I shook my head. He dumped the rest of the alcohol into his gla.s.s and returned the empty bottle to his tux pocket. He took a long, slow drink and smacked his lips. "Mmm."

"Are you okay?" I said, noting the way his lips kept twitching and how he seemed to be unable to look me in the eye.

"Oh, yeah." He guzzled about half the vodka, which made me cringe even if he didn't. I took a deep breath and was about to make some inane comment about the hotel's decor when he blurted, "Can I kiss you, Ellie?"

I swallowed and kind of nodded. He brought his lips down on mine in one smooth swoop. They were a little rough, but warm. The taste of pure vodka lingered on them, a flavor that blended together with the natural tang of Jason's lips.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and my l.u.s.t hormones surprised me by kicking in. My pulse thrummed with the wanting I'd tried so stubbornly to ignore as his fingers skated along the fabric of my dress, inching ever higher. He ran the pad of his thumb against the side of my left breast and, suddenly, hard curiosity squashed all thoughts of romantic theory.

Yeah, I wanted to know what love was. But did I want Jason to show me?

As if realizing this was his audition for the part of First Lover, Jason murmured, "I really, really like you...and I think I could make you really happy tonight."

This was, without a doubt, an amazingly lame line, but he had a decent follow-up: "I'm not going to make stuff up to get you to go to bed with me, Ellie. I know you're not stupid. I know you have a good reputation and maybe you wanna save s.e.x for marriage. If you do, I'd understand that, although I really want you."

I blinked. "You do?"

"Definitely." He let out a low chuckle, paused to finish his drink, then kissed my neck. "I want you to be my first."

I gaped at him. "What?" Did that mean he'd never- "I think you heard me."

"So, you haven't...um, yet...either?"

"Nope." He nibbled on my ear. "Although I'd appreciate you kind of not mentioning that to your friends. Or to mine."

I covered my ear to stop the sensual a.s.sault. "Well, no, of course not, but I would've thought you-"

He sat back and sighed. "It's like this, Ellie. You and me-we're friends, right?"

"Right."

"Well, to be close to someone like that, close enough to have s.e.x with them, you've gotta feel like it'll be okay the next day. You know, that the other person really likes you for you. Do you get what I mean?"

I a.s.sured him that, yes, I did.

"It's not always that way with other girls in our school. With you, I think we could do it and still be friends. I mean, I'm attracted to you, but it's not a crazy kind of attraction. It's not something that makes me lose control." He gave me a serious once-over. "And I don't think I have that effect on you either."

Fog rolled around in my head as I tried to grasp what he was saying. "So, you think we should have s.e.x because then we can do it and it won't make us all insane and irrational."

He exhaled, sounding relieved. "Yeah, exactly. We can do this together, help each other out on our first time and, because we're friends, everything'll be cool tomorrow. 'Cuz college is coming up, and it'd be a lot easier for both of us, I think, if we got this whole rite of pa.s.sage thing out of the way before then."

I looked Jason in the eye. Finally, I understood his motives for asking me to prom, and I knew I should've been angry about it. Or indignant. Or something. But I couldn't work up the emotion to feel anything but drained. In an odd way, his logic made sense to me. Sure, he was trying to use me. Then again, he was also being completely honest about it and inviting me to use him, too.

It all came down to how desperate I felt for a romantic connection. How much, for once, I craved being a totally reckless teen like my sister instead of The Responsible One. How I knew I could never pull off a Bad Girl image for long-either in high school or in college-and that Jason wasn't asking me to pretend I knew more than I did. We could get our experience together and, later, release each other without all the hurt.

Maybe it was the spiked punch or maybe it was Jason's hot kisses or maybe it was spotting Sam out of the corner of my eye, walking with his arm around Amanda, but I whispered, "Okay."

ELLIE! What, pray tell, do you think you are doing? Jane screamed in my head. I jerked back in surprise only to see Jason's smiling face.

"Great," he said.

No! Jane, who'd made only serene comments for much of the evening, yelled. It is not intended to happen this way.

I willfully ignored her.

"Are we on fourth or seventh?" he asked, standing up and pulling me to my feet.

Return at once to the Winnebago Room, Jane commanded.

"The seventh," I told Jason. "With Nate and Sabrina."

He nodded. "I think Nate's got whiskey upstairs, if you're interested. Otherwise, if you want something a little lighter, Steve brought Bacardi. I could get some for-"

"That's okay," I said. "I don't want any more to drink."

He kissed the top of my head very gently and tugged me toward the elevator.

Within minutes we'd retrieved a few "necessary items" from Jason's room and were safely locked in mine.

Ellie Barnett, I forbid you to remain alone in a bedchamber with this boy, Jane squealed, as Jason dragged the zipper down the back of my dress and nudged me onto the mattress so we lay face-to-face, both of our heads on the same pillow.

He rubbed the small of my back, making little circles like widening waves against my skin. I sighed and curled in toward him. He must've taken this move as permission to speed right along because his hand dipped lower, beneath the elastic of my panties.

"I've got lots of protection," he whispered, "so whenever you wanna start..."

I, however, was anything but ready to start. Hadn't Jason Bertignoli ever heard of foreplay?

"I-um, well, there's got to be a few things we should do before then." I tapped the black bow around his neck with my index finger. "Like getting undressed, maybe?"

He grinned. "I was working up to that." He wrenched my dress off one shoulder then the other before yanking at my bra clasp. "You gotta get this thing undone for me or I'm gonna rip it off."

I unfastened the back clasp, my fingers shaking, my stomach quivering and Jane howling with rage in my brain.

This is all WRONG, Jane pleaded. You must comprehend that. Please do not take this severe breach of reason one step further.

I let Jason push away the creamy fabric of the bra and heard him suck in a gulp of air as his hand squeezed my breast. "G.o.d, you're so sweet," he said, dipping his mouth to taste my nipples.

I swallowed and reached for his belt. How did a woman unfasten it gracefully?

Jane's familiar voice blurted, I will keep trying to stop you, Ellie, by any way I am able. But I was beyond heeding her threats.