Absent Shadows: Destiny Part 3

As I finished the lap and approached the tree once again, I was almost afraid to look over, but I needn't have been. Sam was gone.

* CHAPTER FOUR *.

'Wasn't that just the best day? And isn't Tom wonderful? I think I'm in love,' Claire crooned when she rang later that evening.

'That's great, Claire. Tom seems to like you too.'

'He does, doesn't he?' she asked, her voice full of hope.

'Sure. So, has he asked you out again?'

'Uh ... funny you should say that ... yes. He wants us to go to Sydney.'

'Oh, that sounds like fun. Good for you.'

'No, I mean us, as in all of us. He won this compet.i.tion on the radio-a weekend for four people. Hotel, airfares, everything's paid for. Isn't it just so romantic?'

I swallowed, hard, then tried to speak but nothing came out.

'Aren't you excited?' Claire asked, obviously finding it hard to believe I wasn't as excited as she was. 'I mean, a weekend in Sydney, with Tom and Sam. It's gonna be soooo much fun!'

I finally found my voice. 'Uh, no ... are you nuts? Sam wouldn't want to go-seriously. If you want to have a weekend in Sydney with Tom, then by all means, go for it. But don't try to drag me into it.'

'But Tom already spoke to Sam. He does want to go. Tom says Sam's looking forward to it. Don't you want to go?'

'When? What do you mean Tom's already spoken to Sam? When did all this happen?'

'Today, I guess. He dropped in to my work this afternoon. It was such a surprise. He took me out for a coffee and told me all about it. Said he'd won the compet.i.tion this morning, and couldn't wait to tell me about it. It's this weekend. They don't give you much warning with these things-you can either get away, or you forfeit the prize. So of course I said yes. Tell me you'll come too. Mum will go ballistic if it's just me and Tom.'

'You're a big girl, you can go without me.'

'No, really-she'll be spewing if I say I'm going away for a weekend with some guy. If I tell her you're going too, it'll be cool. Please, Lili. Tell me you'll come with us. It'll be fun. I promise.'

It made no sense. I'd just spent the afternoon convincing myself that my attraction to Sam was ridiculous-not to mention completely one-sided. And now here was Claire, telling me that Tom had already spoken to him about going away for a weekend, and that he was looking forward to it. How could that be?

It probably wasn't true, that's all there was to it. Tom probably just said that to Claire. Or maybe Sam owed him a favour or something. Well, the last thing I wanted to do was spend a whole weekend with someone who couldn't even talk to me without looking like he was in pain. It had been awkward enough going to the football game. And then our little chat in the gardens ... that was so uncomfortable. A whole weekend would be pure torture.

'Lili, are you still there? Tell me you'll come to Sydney with us. Please.'

I had to say something, but what? 'Alright, I'll think about it. I'm not saying yes, I'm saying maybe. I want to speak to Sam first. The last thing I want is to get to Sydney, then have you and Tom take off somewhere and leave me alone with someone that doesn't even want to be there.'

'Oh, it won't be like that ...it's going to be so much fun.'

'Hey, I didn't say I'd go yet. I said maybe.'

'That's cool. Sam wants to go. Tom said so. So it's settled, really. You'll see. We're going to have a great time.'

We said our goodbyes, then I sat and stared at the wall, my head spinning. I was pretty sure I wouldn't sleep tonite. I kept trying to recall every bit of the conversation we'd had in the gardens this morning. Was there some clue I'd missed? Did Sam really want to spend a whole weekend with me, when he could barely stand to talk to me for more than a few minutes? No, this had to be Tom's idea. Maybe he hadn't even spoken to Sam yet. Maybe he was just telling Claire what he thought she wanted to hear.

I wished I could just put it all out of my mind, but I kept seeing those dark blue eyes, and remembering how good it felt when he put his jacket around my shoulders.

I'd have to see Sam in person ... look him in the eye and ask him if he really wanted to go. I mean, it would be awesome if he actually did want to go. But I could still hear his voice as he'd said he didn't mix well with people.

I woke to find the room filled with sunshine. It looked to be one of those clear winter days when the sky is so blue it doesn't look real. I was anxious to go for my run, hoping to casually b.u.mp into Sam. I pulled on my sweats but when I went into the kitchen Debs was standing there, shaking her head at me.

'Good morning sleepy head. Now, have a bit of brekkie, and let's go shopping! I'm dying to get you into something a bit more fashionable,' she said, smirking.

I tried to think of an excuse to get out of it, but there wasn't one. I'd have to try to do a run when we got back, if it wasn't too late.

We spent the morning going through various shops, and although I had little fashion sense of my own, I had to admit it was fun shopping with someone who did. I let her pick out a couple of outfits for me and some shoes to go with them so that I'd have something besides runners and boots to wear.

By lunchtime I was exhausted so I was grateful when Debs led me into a cute little cafe. We sat in the back near a warm fire, and had minestrone soup and some crusty bread rolls. It was nice to just sit and talk. I had no intention of telling her about Sam, or even David. But I was prepared to mention that I wasn't too sure about going back to college next fall.

'You're young. There's plenty of time to study. If you want my opinion, just do what feels right-trust your intuition. Take a year off and live a little, learn about yourself. You know you're welcome to stay here with us for as long as you like. You're absolutely no burden. Do you want me to talk to your mother about it?'

'Oh, no. Please don't say anything to her. Not yet anyway.'

'Okay-well, like I said, the offer is there.'

I felt relieved. I had sort of forgotten all about not going back to college, what with my mind being so focused on Sam. But knowing that Debs was on my side, if I needed her to be, was comforting.

After lunch, we did more shopping, and by the time we got back to the apartment it was already getting dark. It was too late for a run tonite, so I'd have to wait until tomorrow to see Sam.

I settled onto the sofa, and flicked on the TV. They were showing highlights of the Wimbledon Tennis, so Debs joined me and we sat and watched them for a while, then she flicked it over to the six o'clock news.

The top stories once again included a story about the violence that was becoming such a problem in the city. A man had been accosted by a group of youths carrying knives. They stabbed him even though he'd given them his wallet and phone. He was in a stable condition in the hospital, but everyone was shocked at this unprovoked attack.

'You know, I'm not too sure I'm happy about you working at this restaurant. I don't want you walking back here in the dark.'

'I won't be ... I mean ... I should be out of there by five at the latest. It'll be just getting dark, but there are a lot of people on the roads ... commuters and such. It'll be fine. Really, don't worry.'

She frowned, and shook her head, but said nothing more about the topic that night.

I arrived at work early the next day, and left my change of clothes in the back office while I went across to the gardens for a run.

As I approached the tree where I'd seen Sam the other times, I looked around hopeful that I'd spot him, but he wasn't there. I started my run slowly, making my way down the path around to the left of the tree, thinking that maybe if I did a slow lap, by the time I got back around to the tree again, he might be there. As I got further away from the tree, I had a distinct sensation of being watched. Maybe he'd been just out of sight and would be there when I got back to the top of the hill. My heart started to pound in antic.i.p.ation, and my pace quickened. But when I got back to the top of the rise, he was nowhere to be seen. I did several more laps around the path, each time a bit slower than the previous until I finally did the last lap at a walk, but even though I could swear someone was watching me, there was no sign of Sam.

Michael was pleased to see me, and took it upon himself to give me the run-down. The kids would be noisy, and probably a lot of work, but he figured I was up to it. He laughed when he said that anyone with hair my colour had to be capable of dealing with energetic school children.

He was right, they were a handful, and I was exhausted by the time they left. But the hours had pa.s.sed quickly, and it had been fun. Playing a witch was easy-it was just like Halloween. Hopefully the concept would catch on and I'd have a job for the whole two months.

I changed back into my running shoes and clothes and walked out the door. It was already getting dark by the time I turned into King Street, but I knew it wouldn't take me more than fifteen minutes to get home if I walked quickly as it was downhill most of the way.

As I walked along King Street, I suddenly had that terrible sensation you get when you know someone-a man-is coming up behind you. I sped up, hoping to lose him. I wasn't overly worried because there were people everywhere but I still wanted to put s.p.a.ce between us.

But it wasn't working. I could still feel him just behind me even though I'd sped up. I felt my teeth clench, and my right hand made a fist almost involuntarily, in position to use the strength of my right elbow if necessary.

The man seemed unaware of the concept of personal s.p.a.ce, and I could no longer stand it. I planted my right foot, brought my fist up under my chin, and was about to thrust my arm back when I heard the familiar sound of Sam's voice.

'Hey, Lili.'

'Sam?' I said, letting out the breath that I hadn't realised I'd been holding. 'What are you doing here?'

'I live here, remember? You just pa.s.sed my house. I thought it might be best if I walked you home. I'm sure you'd be fine, but I'd still feel better if you'd let me accompany you.'

'Oh. Of course you do ... live here, I mean. I'd forgotten about that,' I mumbled, feeling silly and hoping he hadn't realised that I'd been about to use my most powerful self-defence move on him.

'So, how was the new job? Was it fun? I bet you make a beautiful witch,' he teased.

I t.i.tled my head as I looked at him. Was this the same man I'd spoken to in the gardens two days ago? What happened to his inability to mix with people-he seemed comfortable enough now.

'Yeah, it was great,' I answered, still in disbelief at the ease of his manner. He looked relaxed-not at all uptight. 'The kids were a bit crazy but it was really fun. And I do think I made quite a believable witch, if I do say so myself.'

As I stopped talking, I frowned. I didn't remember telling him about getting the job. Had I mentioned it at the football game the other day? I didn't think so.

'That's good. Jobs are always better if you can have a bit of fun, too,' he said, almost smiling.

'Yeah,' I agreed. Then, to keep the conversation going, I added, 'I'm glad they're doing lunch shows, 'cause I don't think my aunt would be too happy about me working there at night, and then trying to get home after.'

'Can't say I'd blame her-this is not somewhere you'd want to be walking by yourself once the commute traffic has died down. I'm glad I spotted you when I did.'

I know it was stupid, but his concern made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And with the strength of that warmth, I decided there was no point in wasting time. I had to find out about the weekend.

'So, Claire tells me Tom won a weekend for four on some radio contest, and we're off to Sydney this weekend.' I hoped my voice sounded casual.

'Yes, we are. I mean, if you want to that is ... and if it's alright that I come along.'

'Alright? Well, of course it's alright. I mean, Tom's your friend. I should be asking you if it's alright that I go,' I spluttered, then before I could engage my brain my mouth continued, 'I mean ... maybe there's someone else that you'd like to take. Claire invited me, but really, I don't have to go.' I could have kicked myself for saying that ... it just slipped out. I'd die if he said there was someone else that he wanted to take.

'No, there certainly isn't anyone else,' he said, his voice soft, almost husky. I believed him, especially when he gave me a slight smile.

And that's when I melted.

I stood there, completely mesmerised by his gorgeous blue eyes. I couldn't stop staring at them. I wasn't sure if it was that black hole thing happening again, or if it was because I was in shock at his response. Two days ago he could barely speak to me. Now, he wanted to go away for a weekend ... with me. All the hurt and anger I'd felt at his disinterest vanished, and into its place came this raw, nervous energy. I couldn't seem to look away.

But I didn't know what to say either. And I knew that if I said something stupid right now I'd risk spoiling everything. He could still change his mind.

I pulled my gaze away from him, and started walking home again. We walked along in silence for a few blocks, and when he spoke it startled me.

'I've never met anyone like you before. You ... laugh at me. In a good way,' he said.

'Do I? I mean ... yeah, well ... I guess so ...' I replied, not knowing whether to take his words as a compliment or not.

'You do ... and it's just what I need. I know I can be rather ... serious ... and maybe even a bit intimidating at times.'

'Intimidating? No ... well, maybe ... I mean ... yeah, you seem to be very serious ... and you ... frown a lot.'

'Maybe it's the frown ... but I know some women ... girls ... find me ... scary,' he said, now turning to look at me with a question on his face.

I thought hard about it ... scary? There wasn't anything about him that frightened me, and I found it hard to believe anyone could describe him as scary. But then again, those intense eyes of his ... and that frown ... maybe that could be mistaken by some ... maybe some might even find him ... sinister? No ... not that, but something.

'Well, you don't scare me ... and I don't mean to laugh at you ... it just a way of, you know ... breaking the tension.'

'I'm glad that I don't scare you. I do need to chill sometimes ... try to be a bit more like Tom. He's so not like me ... he always enjoys himself ... lives for the moment, as they say. I wish I could be more like him, but I have trouble ... letting go ... of things.'

His confession made me feel like a real jerk. The man was in pain for some reason, and I'd been giving him a hard time, thinking it was all because he didn't like me. Maybe, possibly, it had nothing to do with me.

'You're not scary, Sam. You do seem a bit ... sad ... sometimes, but we all go through rough times. If there's anything you want to talk about ... well, I can be a good listener.'

He didn't reply. We just walked on in silence and before I knew it, we were at the apartment.

'Do you want to come up?' I asked, hoping for the chance to spend more time with him.

'No, thank you, not this time. There are a couple things I need to do tonight. Maybe another time?'

So ... he wanted there to be another time. That was promising.

And then he did what I would never have expected ... not in a million years. He put his hands on each side of my face, stared into my eyes, leaned forward, and kissed me. It was the most gentle of kisses, like little b.u.t.terfly wings barely touching my lips. But it was enough to send electric shocks right through the core of me.

'Good night, Lili,' was all he said before he disappeared into the darkness.

That night I wrote a long email to Mom and Raye, apologising for not writing every day like I'd said I would. I told them about my new job, and about the day I'd spent shopping with Debs. I told them about Claire, and how nice it was to have a friend my own age.

What I didn't tell them about was Sam. I couldn't. There were no words to describe the way I felt about him. There was confusion and attraction and electricity all rolled up into one. And then there was that unexpected kiss. And of course there was the weekend we were about to have in Sydney. No, I wasn't telling them any of that.

* CHAPTER FIVE *.