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I I Hhutild say." Leah deliberately took the lead and began til-Hi^ faster than they had before, hoping her sisters might lit iv hor back to the house and quickly at that.
203t-stP ^^v //t-*'- ^/( & e^tt- P unday, following Preaching service, Sadie climbed into the Idcllinger family two-horse carriage. She sat in the second Bur with Edith Mellinger. Edith's grown son, David, his wife, rcra, and their young family Joseph, Mary Mae, and kndy sat up front, the two smaller children perched on heir parents' laps.
I The ride back to the Mellingers' farmhouse dragged on Ifid on. She had already sat through the main sermon, which Bus miles lor^g, much like the Preaching service back home. Fitr today she'd felt the hot pangs of conviction from the first lymn and Zeugniss testimonies till the benediction. The IlHsages of Scripture read were some not so emphasized by Bther Bishop Bontrager or Preacher Yoder. Today's main serRon had been about Galatians, chapter six, verse eight ForU that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption which lilt the fear of the Lord G.o.d in her. Did this mean "sowing bild oats," like she had done during rumschpringe and fcyond? The part about the flesh reaping corruption had her fc.u.mped, really. Did it mean she could be punished further for 204Id e o e r y
e her immorality, even more than she had been already, losing her baby and all? Ofttimes she worried G.o.d might not allow her to have more children if she was ever to marry. Oh, she trembled at the thought!
The minister had also preached on the latter half of the verse: but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap lifeeverlasting. That part had caught her attention but good, and she pondered it still.
She didn't know what it was about the church out here.
Honestly, she wished she might put her finger on it, mighl know exactly why she'd felt so disgraceful sitting there with the other women even corrupted, just as the Scripture stated. Was this what both Leah and Aunt Lizzie had been talking about for so many months?
Thinking back to Leah's repeated pleas for her repentance, and today's meeting, Sadie fought hard a feeling of utter sadness. But out here in the fresh air and sunshine, her guilt was beginning to lessen again. She had thoroughly enjoyed the common meal and some good fellowship with the younp; people. Just today she'd met two handsome young men, Ben Eicher from Walnut Creek and John Graber from Grabill in Allen County, Indiana, both here for oat harvesting and shocking. Recalling their spontaneous smiles, she felt she just might manage through yet another Lord's Day this far from home.
Does Mamma miss me? Does Leah? She thought of picking up a pen and finally writing letters to them. Tonight I will, she decided.
"How long are you gonna visit?" David's youngest son brought her out of her musing. The little boy, a miniature ol 205
m "Now, Andy, that's not polite to ask." His mother helped Btfn I he towheaded youngster back around in his seat, saying, H 'in hoy's awful sorry, Sadie."
I "No, I ain't sorry, Mamma," said Andy outright. "I like lidk', and I hope she stays put here for a good long time." I So do I, she thought, smiling in spite of herself. She was Hpl eager in the least to return to Lancaster County with BflHN in October. How could she go back only to witness her Bunker sister's wedding service before her own? Of course, Bulk' knew that if she'd chosen to, she could have been Bnirtvd by a respectable boy from Gobbler's k.n.o.b. It was her Iwn limit that when Jonas had first started courting Leah, HI'In-herself was secretly seeing an English beau.
li'.s past history, she thought. Now there was only one ililtik' to cling to: her recurring dream of being happily marilrd and coddling her baby boy. Before coming here she had lu'i-ii hopeful the sound of a crying infant might cease once ili - i;i>t settled into her new surroundings, but it had continH
206.
ly e Once she was alone in her room, Sadie began to write her promised letters, beginning with Mamma's.
Sunday evening, August 31 Dearest Mamma, Greetings to you and Dat from Ohio. I should've written sooner, but the Widow Mellinger needs near constant looking after. Honestly, 1 don't know how much time Leah would've had to spend with Jonas if she was doing what I do here. Except courting couples always tend to make time for each other, no matter.
How is everyone? Are the twins enjoying school? I hope all of my kitchen duties haven't fallen on your shoulders, Mamma.
I'm guessing Lydiann is rolling over already, ain't so?
With the mention of her baby sister, she felt overcome with sadness. She was beginning to miss little Lydiann, missed working alongside Mamma, too. And Leah? A close and caring sister could never be replaced, that was sure. The evening hours had always been best, when they talked most personally in their bedroom.
She continued her letter.
The Preaching service here is a lot like at home, but the Scriptures are new to me. The ministers here say teaching from the whole Bible is necessary for us to reside quietly in Christ, so I guess it's time I learned more about the sayings of G.o.d's Son. Bishop Bontrager might take issue with this, espe-207 I i uilh since he preaches the same favorite Scriptures sermonI ii/ii'i si'nnon.
j She Idt she best not go on too much about that. If jM iiiiinn shared the letter with Dat, which she more than Illl-t'ly would, such news might stir up even more concern wUutt her being gone from home.
I No doubt you were upset when 1 disappeared with Leah's I lu-lji , . . and I ought to be saying how sorry 1 am if this I niiiscd you stress, Mamma. I'm thinking long about many I (/i/h,i;.s here while 1 keep busy with Edith, as well as having fun I 'ii'ii the Mellinger children.
I Tell Leah I'm still considering hard her request 1 be one of I lit1)1 Inidesmaids. Next letter I'll say for sure, one way or the I ijt/ier.
I I'll write again soon. Tell Dat I love him, too!
I With loving affection, I Your daughter Sadie I Finished, she folded the letter and left it on the little writplt^ desk negf the window. Then, too tired to think of writing Bet another "letter, she undressed quickly for bed. I" '/ write my sister soon enough, she decided, feeling certain nil it nma would share this letter around with the family.
-4- On Monday evening Leah accompanied Dawdi John next mil" after supper. Unable to dismiss Hannah's haunting words 208.
-iu t about Aunt Lizzie, she wanted to ask a tactful question or tw( > of Dawdi.
For a time they sat quietly in his front room. She lingered there awkwardly till he spoke at last, worrying aloud over the prospect of colder weather setting in "here 'fore too much longer." Nodding, she listened with the hope of putting him in a favorable mood.
After a solid half hour of weather talk, she rose and weni to his alcove of a kitchen just a few steps away and poured :i gla.s.s of water for herself. "Would you like somethin' to wel your whistle?" she asked.
"I'm fine, Leah. Come sit with me." His voice seemed suddenly strained.
She brought with her the gla.s.s of cold well water and hurried back to sit across from him on a cane chair. "What is it, Dawdi?"
He leaned his head back as if glancing at a particular spot on the ceiling. For the longest time he sat that way, his untrimmed gray beard cascading down to his chest. Then, ever so slowly, he lowered his somber eyes to meet hers. "1 mayn't be the smartest soul on earth, but I know when my granddaughter's fit to be tied." He paused, still holding her gaze, then continued. "Truth is, you've been wantin' to talk with ol' Dawdi for some time now. Ain't?"
She wondered how he knew. "Guess I have."
"Your perty face gives you away. Them hazel-gold eyes of yours, well..." He smiled then, a slow, soft smile that made his gray eyes shine.
She decided to forge ahead. "1 have been thinking an awful lot about Aunt Lizzie. For the longest time, I've won- 209.
wli'il why she never married. She's fun lovin' and kind PMtllil make a right gut wife and mother."
"Wrll, why not ask her all this?" Dawdi said.
'Ill so many words, I s'pose I have."
" "Tls safe to say not every maidel ends up married. Someii.1.1 just ain't enough husbands to go round." i lie decided to press the issue further. "But there were jl niy of young men durin' Aunt Lizzie's courtin' years. She ( I. I me so." Truth was, lots of church boys had been interhi.l In Lizzie. In fact, there was one special boy who had 1.1red his love for her, but he didn't wait for Lizzie to settle bwu from rumschpringe.
"I'll admit, there were several interested fellas," said BhwcII. "In Hickory Hollow, 'specially. I wished to goodness nr I paid more attention to some of them. ..." I Leah waited, hoping Dawdi might say more, but his voice ulrJ away. They sat there together in awkward silence a few klnutes.
I Finally Leah felt she must speak up once more before Kli riling to the main part of the house. She had to stick her Ifi'k out just a bit farther, since she didn't know when she'd wen* have another opportunity. Not with both Hannah and Bury Ruth vying for Dawdi's attention after the evening bfiil, too. Come dessert time, the twins always seemed to get h their grandfather before Leah could here lately. She didn't hnw what it was, but Hannah, especially, and now Mary Itiih was awful eager to spend time with Dawdi. I She breathed deeply, then asked, "Is it true ... well, that Lint Lizzie came to live here in this addition when she was youth?" ,
209 210eiois
Dawdi nodded his head without catching her eye. "Jah, 'tis."
"And was there ..." She faltered, then managed to continue. "Um ... was there somethin' wrong that ... required Mamma's attention?"
Dawdi reached for his old German Biewel on the table nearby and opened to a marked page without speaking. She was aware of the whistling sound in his nose as he breathed in and out. And she had a peculiar feeling Dawdi was, right now, preparing to give her a message from the Lord G.o.d. II that wasn't true, then why were his eyes so intent on hers as he held the Good Book in his gnarled hands?
He opened his mouth and began to read. " 'When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. Teach my thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.'" Dawdi sighed, and if Leah wasn'l mistaken, there was a tear in his eye. "Your aunt Lizzie was taken in by Abram and Ida 'cause she had need to be."
Leah didn't quite understand what Dawdi meant to say. Why didn't he speak his mind clearly? "I'm ever so puzzled," she admitted. "Did you and Mammi Brenneman ... well, did you send Lizzie away from Hickory Hollow?"
He closed the Bible as slowly as he'd opened its fragile pages. "I don't s'pose I can explain this to you without stirrin' up even more questions." He paused, his wrinkled hands folded atop the Good Book. "Lizzie and her older brother, your uncle Noah, simply did not see eye to eye back then."
She was staring at him now, grasping for some meaning. Why had he read such a startling psalm to her?
For truth, she couldn't begin to imagine why Aunt Lizzie 211The betrayal II Id Lave come from her home in Hickory Hollow all the by lu Gobbler's k.n.o.b to live absent from her immediate Iflllly, Unless ... could it possibly be what Cousin Rebekah MnI hud hinted at in the apple orchard? Could it be Lizzie k* wllli child back then?
I Nee. She rejected the notion. Not good-hearted and 111 ill Aunt Lizzie.
I I fling terribly uneasy, she said at last, "Is it possible Aunt i I.- m I bought of Uncle Noah as her enemy, like in the psalm Ini 11ist read?"
I "Host to simply say the plain path of the Lord G.o.d led I -i'1 here to Gobbler's k.n.o.b ... and to her sister's arms." I ' I ic watched as Dawdi's lips moved, the whites of his eyes llMuiing. Somewhere between what Dawdi was trying to tell I11 ,nid what she'd observed all her life in Aunt Lizzie, a line I unspoken truth had been drawn. Surprisingly, what was and mi seemed to be appeared even more mystifying than l ..tV.
f Abram spent the evening with his nose in the Good innk. He refused to go sour faced on Ida, who sat darning an Id sock while Lydiann slept in the crook of her arm. He llj.;hl have allowed his emotions to run unchecked, getting Ic I K-st of him, because Leah was next door with Dawdi this Iry moment. From what he remembered saying to his fatherl luw just this afternoon, well, there was no way anything lad could come of such a visit. Not the way John had laid 212iO e u> e r I lj Jl^ e to i '.
into him earlier, threatening to "blow the top off this whole family hush-hush!" not so many hours before.
He'd done his best what he could, at least urging John to "hold his tongue" till he and Ida could discuss things fur ther. But then, somehow or other, Leah had wormed her w;iy over to Dawdi immediately following Ida's dessert. She'd gotten to him first, offering her arm to steady his gait long before either of the twins had, which was downright disheartening, since he'd taken both Hannah and Mary Ruth aside not so many weeks back and told them to look after their Dawdi right close after supper "'tis mighty important," he'd sakl. Mary Ruth had frowned, no doubt questioning his urgencyshe had that way about her but Hannah, thankfully, had succ.u.mbed to his request, ready obedience alight in her soil brown eyes.
All in all, the twins had been doing a right fine job ol scurrying over to John the second he wiped his mouth on his handkerchief after eating the last morsel of Ida's apple crumb cake or whatnot.
Till tonight. And now Abram was ever so anxious over what things were being said from the lips of an impatient grandfather to his naive and softhearted granddaughter.
Hannah hurried upstairs to the bedroom she shared will) Mary Ruth. There she began to pour out her anxieties on in the pages of her diary notebook.
Monday, September 1 , Dear Diary, I shouldn't be writing this, probably, but Dat's fretful about something. He wore the concern on his dear face tonight 213lOeirayal ii/Wr Leah helped Dawdi John next door after supper. Still uin't quite understand Dat telling Mary Ruth and me to "huny over to help Dawdi, following the dessert." And he rnlists we do this every night till he says otherwise. So strangeii is!
I miss Sadie something awful, and Mary Ruth's much too I'uxy with the Nolt family and her schoolwork these days formi v w.a.n.g.
Leah spends more time indoors with Mamma now, so ilwre's scarcely any chance for my sister and me to talk priviitdy. I have a hunch Leah had something to do with Sadie i'ning to Ohio. Maybe it's the sad look in Leah's eyes every iiutv and then, especially since there've been no letters from "iidie. I thought by now she would've sent Mamma one, at/.use.
What an emptiness is in me when we sit down for a meal imymore. Sadie is off in another state, mourning the loss of lur baby or at least imagining she had one. Oh, it wonders iik' if she's in her right mind or not.
Honestly, I can't say which way 1 would feel most sorry iir Sadie, really. If she's not right in the head ... that's teruhle. But ifehe was immoral and birthed a dead baby, then (kit's heartrending. Nothing less.
Respectfully, Hannah Ebersol .+.
More than two weeks after she'd sent her letter to imma, Sadie was returning to the Mellingers' large farm, 215.
-ly P..
having taken one of the buggies to the general store to purchase some items for Edith. Looking up, she noticed the sky was a resplendent blue, nearly the color of a spanking new piece of blue cotton fabric, the shade of Leah's soon-to-hc , wedding dress.
Pausing at the back stoop, she again stared up at the heavens, wondering if the same hue might also be evident in the sky in Gobbler's k.n.o.b, where Jonas was headed come this time tomorrow. She felt her heart beating its m.u.f.fled, secret throbs, wishing she could be a fly on the wall, privy to the things Jonas might soon be saying to Leah. But would Leah let on she'd spent time in the woods with Gid Peachey after getting lost for hours on end? Sadie couldn't imagine that being discussed. Still, she'd seen Leah and Gid with her own eyes, coming down out of the deep of the forest together.
Since arriving here, and on the long train ride, she'd thought several times of what she'd seen that day so confusing it had been. Hadn't Gid taken a shine to Leah all these years? They had been holding hands the day she'd spied them, laughing and having themselves a mighty nice time together. What could it mean?
She'd thought of asking Leah about it later that night, ami then again as they said their good-byes at the trolley, but she hadn't. Now she wished she had.
Pity's sake, Leah had nearly pushed her out the door to Millersburg. Why? Was it for the reason she said ... or to stay home for Gid?
Impossible, Sadie thought. Not the Leah I know.
She was altogether nervous. The kernel of douhl remained. If true if Leah was two-timing her beau well,
214 216Tke betrayal
Hi) Jonas deserved better. Much better. I Yel another thought crossed Sadie's mind. Could it be that If h nl this late date, Leah was having second thoughts about UW Was she leaning toward doing Dat's bidding, after all? I She could only guess at Leah's true motive for sending her We, Inil she did wonder a little if something wasn't fishy. I I As lor Jonas, he had been right kind since her arrival here. n outgoing sort of fellow, he occasionally gave Sadie a ilcotning smile across the kitchen table when the family fcherod there, especially if the subject of his return to PennIviitiia for baptism rose out of a mix of conversation that lulled the weather, the next canning frolic, and which of fc farm families in their area was growing oodles of celery me days. This during the Mellinger family's eventide hours ken Oavid read aloud from the Good Book while katydids lirpeil in the fields. If she interpreted Jonas's thoughtfulhess Brcclly, she wondered if he felt sorry for her being there, so I removed from her family. Did he a.s.sume she was homeIk I Maybe that was the reason for his wide-eyed gaze on her lin time to time, since he had no knowledge of her past sins. rely not. Aftd she'd just as soon keep it that way.
215.
J217/I*/-0,-^4-Ji^v- Their heart is divided; now t shall they be found faulty They have spoken words, swearing falsely in making a covenant: thus judgment springeth up as hemlock in the furrows of the field.
Hosea 10:2, 4 2181219-a-^24-e'-v J -ti>- & t^ 4-1
7.
H/n Friday, September 19, Leah stood waiting out at the H< hi:is="" to="" come="" riding="" down="" the="" road="" in="" his="" open="" buggy,="" his="" hilling="" steed="" brushed="" spanking="" clean="" for="" the="" occasion.="" h="" i="" ler="" heart="" thumped="" fast="" and="" hard,="" and="" she="" felt="" she="" might="" ^flt="" he="" able="" to="" stand="" there="" much="" longer,="" so="" jittery="" she="" was.="" in="" 'it="" last="" letter="" from="" ohio,="" he="" had="" written="" he="" could="" arrive="" in="" i=""> ihhler's k.n.o.b at twilight on this night. Will you be waiting hi mi1, dear Lefth ... near the road?
i Ver the shadowy hills a splinter of a moon crept up; its i.unbc-red rim cast an ancient white light over the fertile val!>'V liclow. She gazed at the hollow band of road, feeling all inioc of time was lost. Gone the ache of days, the summer 11 loneliness, endless weeks of missing her beloved's smile, the I1 mch of his hand on hers, his strong but tender embrace. I And then she spied him, his horse and carriage two shad' Hry silhouettes moving in the distance, heading in her direcHw. She felt her heart might burst with growing joy.
220 e r I u J e us I s "Oh, Jonas," she whispered to the honeysuckle-scented ;in even before he jumped down from the courting carriage ami ran across the road to her. They fell into each other's arms.
"Dear Leah ... Leah, it's you at last!" He held her so close she felt his breath on her neck. "I missed you so," he said, nol letting her go.
Her tears fell onto his shirt as she clung to him. "Jonas..."
"I was crazy, out-of-mind missing you." Gently he released her, but only for a moment, his eyes searching hers. "My darling girl... perty as a bride on her weddin' day."
The horse let out an impatient neigh, tossing his mane back in the fading light. "Whoa, steady there," Jonas called softly over his shoulder.
Leah found it both comical and comforting Jonas's unruffled tone attempted to soothe the horse as if he were talking to a human. She fell in love with her beau all over again, appreciating his tender heart toward even an animal.
"Wouldja like to go for some ice cream?" he asked.
"Where you are, that's where I want to be," she replied. And before she could protest, he reached down and lifted her up into his shining carriage.
She couldn't stop smiling as he set her down on the from seat, then fairly flew round the buggy and leaped up into the driver's seat to her right. "Ice cream it is!" He paused, smilinj; at her. "Guess I oughta pay attention to the road," he said ai last, turning slowly to pick up the reins. "We have all nighi, ain't so?"
