A Tramp Abroad - novelonlinefull.com
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"So he was, but then they always had a great affection for him, although he had so many eccentricities. You remember that when the weather was the least cold, he would try to come into the house."
I was rather afraid to proceed. Evidently Darley was not a man--he must be some other kind of animal--possibly a dog, maybe an elephant.
However, tails are common to all animals, so I ventured to say:
"And what a tail he had!"
"_One_! He had a thousand!"
This was bewildering. I did not quite know what to say, so I only said:
"Yes, he _was_ rather well fixed in the matter of tails."
"For a negro, and a crazy one at that, I should say he was," said she.
It was getting pretty sultry for me. I said to myself, "Is it possible she is going to stop there, and wait for me to speak? If she does, the conversation is blocked. A negro with a thousand tails is a topic which a person cannot talk upon fluently and instructively without more or less preparation. As to diving rashly into such a vast subject--"
But here, to my grat.i.tude, she interrupted my thoughts by saying:
"Yes, when it came to tales of his crazy woes, there was simply no end to them if anybody would listen. His own quarters were comfortable enough, but when the weather was cold, the family were sure to have his company--nothing could keep him out of the house. But they always bore it kindly because he had saved Tom's life, years before. You remember Tom?
"Oh, perfectly. Fine fellow he was, too."
"Yes he was. And what a pretty little thing his child was!"
"You may well say that. I never saw a prettier child."
"I used to delight to pet it and dandle it and play with it."
"So did I."
"You named it. What _was_ that name? I can't call it to mind."
It appeared to me that the ice was getting pretty thin, here. I would have given something to know what the child's was. However, I had the good luck to think of a name that would fit either s.e.x--so I brought it out:
"I named it Frances."
"From a relative, I suppose? But you named the one that died, too--one that I never saw. What did you call that one?"
I was out of neutral names, but as the child was dead and she had never seen it, I thought I might risk a name for it and trust to luck.
Therefore I said:
"I called that one Thomas Henry."
She said, musingly:
"That is very singular ... very singular."
I sat still and let the cold sweat run down. I was in a good deal of trouble, but I believed I could worry through if she wouldn't ask me to name any more children. I wondered where the lightning was going to strike next. She was still ruminating over that last child's t.i.tle, but presently she said:
"I have always been sorry you were away at the time--I would have had you name my child."
"_Your_ child! Are you married?"
"I have been married thirteen years."
"Christened, you mean."
'"No, married. The youth by your side is my son."
"It seems incredible--even impossible. I do not mean any harm by it, but would you mind telling me if you are any over eighteen?--that is to say, will you tell me how old you are?"
"I was just nineteen the day of the storm we were talking about. That was my birthday."
That did not help matters, much, as I did not know the date of the storm. I tried to think of some non-committal thing to say, to keep up my end of the talk, and render my poverty in the matter of reminiscences as little noticeable as possible, but I seemed to be about out of non-committal things. I was about to say, "You haven't changed a bit since then"--but that was risky. I thought of saying, "You have improved ever so much since then"--but that wouldn't answer, of course. I was about to try a shy at the weather, for a saving change, when the girl slipped in ahead of me and said:
"How I have enjoyed this talk over those happy old times--haven't you?"
"I never have spent such a half-hour in all my life before!" said I, with emotion; and I could have added, with a near approach to truth, "and I would rather be scalped than spend another one like it." I was holily grateful to be through with the ordeal, and was about to make my good-bys and get out, when the girl said:
"But there is one thing that is ever so puzzling to me."
"Why, what is that?"
"That dead child's name. What did you say it was?"
Here was another balmy place to be in: I had forgotten the child's name; I hadn't imagined it would be needed again. However, I had to pretend to know, anyway, so I said:
"Joseph William."
The youth at my side corrected me, and said:
"No, Thomas Henry."
I thanked him--in words--and said, with trepidation:
"O yes--I was thinking of another child that I named--I have named a great many, and I get them confused--this one was named Henry Thompson--"
"Thomas Henry," calmly interposed the boy.
I thanked him again--strictly in words--and stammered out:
"Thomas Henry--yes, Thomas Henry was the poor child's name. I named him for Thomas--er--Thomas Carlyle, the great author, you know--and Henry--er--er--Henry the Eighth. The parents were very grateful to have a child named Thomas Henry."
"That makes it more singular than ever," murmured my beautiful friend.
"Does it? Why?"
"Because when the parents speak of that child now, they always call it Susan Amelia."