A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Xi Part 76

RONCA, } HARPAX, } _thieves_.

FURBO, } PANDOLFO, _an old gentleman_.

CRICCA, _his servant_.

TRINCALO, _Pandolfo's farmer_.

ARMELLINA, _Antonio's Maid_.

LELIO, _Antonio's son_.

EUGENIO, _Pandolfo's son_.

FLAVIA, _Antonio's daughter_.

SULPITIA, _Pandolfo's daughter_.

BEVILONA, _a courtesan_.

ANTONIO, _an old gentleman_.

[225] "Alb.u.mazar" is the name of a famous Persian astrologer viz., Abu ma shar.--"Universal History," v. 413; Collier's "Dictionary," _in voce_.--_Pegge._

THE PROLOGUE.

The brightness of so great and fair a presence, They say, strikes cold amazement. But I feel Contrary effects. For from the gracious centre O' the honourable a.s.sembly some secret power Inflames my courage; and methinks I am grown Taller by th' virtue of this audience.

And yet, thus rais'd, I fear there's no retiring.

Ladies, whose beauties glad the whole a.s.sembly, Upon your favours I impose my business.

If't be a fault to speak this foreign language, (For Latin is our mother tongue)[226] I must entreat you To frame excuses for us; for whose sake We now speak English. All the rest we hope Come purposely to grace our poor endeavours, As we to please. In whose fair courtesy We trust, not in our weak ability.

[226] It is observed by the writer in the _Gentleman's Magazine_, 1756, p. 225, that "the exercises of the University were not only performed in Latin; but the plays, written in this and the former reign, for the entertainment of the Court, whenever it removed, either to Oxford or Cambridge, were generally composed in that language. Thus 'aemilia,' 'Ignoramus,' and 'Melanthe,' all acted at the same time with 'Alb.u.mazar,' were in Latin. Both King James and Queen Elizabeth were Latinists."

ALb.u.mAZAR.[227]

ACT I, SCENE 1.

_Enter_ ALb.u.mAZAR, HARPAX, RONCA.

ALB. Come, brave mercurials, sublim'd in cheating; My dear companions, fellow-soldiers I' th' watchful exercise of thievery: Shame not at your so large profession, No more than I at deep astrology; For in the days of old, _Good morrow, thief_, As welcome was received, as now _your worship_.

The Spartans held it lawful,[228] and the Arabians;[229]

So grew Arabia felix, Sparta valiant.

RON. Read on this lecture, wise Alb.u.mazar.

ALB. Your patron, Mercury, in his mysterious character Holds all the marks of the other wanderers,[230]

And with his subtle influence works in all, Filling their stories full of robberies.

Most trades and callings must partic.i.p.ate Of yours, though smoothly gilt with th' honest t.i.tle Of merchant, lawyer, or such like--the learned Only excepted, and he's therefore poor.

HAR. And yet he steals, one author from another.

This poet is that poet's plagiary.

And he a third's, till they end all in Homer.

ALB. And Homer filch'd all from an Egyptian priestess,[231]

The world's a theatre of theft. Great rivers[232]

Rob smaller brooks, and them the ocean; And in this world of ours, this microcosm, Guts from the stomach steal, and what they spare, The meseraics filch, and lay't i' the liver: Where, lest it should be found, turn'd to red nectar, 'Tis by a thousand thievish veins convey'd, And hid in flesh, nerves, bones, muscles, and sinews: In tendons, skin, and hair; so that, the property Thus alter'd, the theft can never be discover'd.

Now all these pilf'ries, couch'd and compos'd in order, Frame thee and me. Man's a quick ma.s.s of thievery.

RON. Most philosophical Alb.u.mazar!

HAR. I thought these parts had lent and borrowed mutual.

ALB. Say, they do so: 'tis done with full intention Ne'er to restore, and that's flat robbery.

Therefore go on: follow your virtuous laws, Your cardinal virtue, _great necessity;_ Wait on her close with all occasions; Be watchful, have as many eyes as heaven, And ears as harvest: be resolv'd and impudent: Believe none, trust none; for in this city (As in a fought field, crows and carcases) No dwellers are but cheaters and cheatees.

RON. If all the houses in the town were prisons, The chambers cages, all the settles[233] stocks, The broad-gates, gallowses, and the whole people Justices, juries, constables, keepers, and hangmen, I'd practise, spite of all; and leave behind me A fruitful seminary of our profession, And call them by the name of Alb.u.mazarians.

HAR. And I no less, were all the city thieves As cunning as thyself.

ALB. Why, bravely spoken: Fitting such generous spirits! I'll make way To your great virtue with a deep resemblance Of high astrology. Harpax and Ronca, List to our project:[234] I have new-lodg'd a prey Hard by, that (taken) is, so fat and rich, 'Twill make us leave off trading, and fall to purchase.

HAR. Who is't? speak quickly.

RON. Where, good Alb.u.mazar?

ALB. 'Tis a rich gentleman, as old as foolish; The poor remnant of whose brain, that age had left him, The doting love of a young girl hath dried: And, which concerns us most, he gives firm credit To necromancy and astrology.

_Enter_ FURBO.

Sending to me, as one, that promise both.

Pandolfo is the man.

HAR. What, old Pandolfo?

ALB. The same: but stay, yon's Furbo, whose smooth[235] brow Shines with good news, and's visage promises Triumphs and trophies to's. [FURBO _plays_.

RON. On my life He has learnt out all; I know it by his music.[236]

_Then_ FURBO _sings this song_.

_Bear up thy learned brow, Alb.u.mazar;_ _Live long, of all the world admir'd,_ _For art profound and skill retir'd,_ _To cheating by the height of star:[237]_ _Hence, gipsies, hence; hence, rogues of baser strain,_ _That hazard life for little gain:_ _Stand off and, wonder, gape and gaze afar_ _At the rare skill of great Alb.u.mazar._

FUR. Alb.u.mazar, Spread out thy nets at large, here's fowl abundance: Pandolfo's ours; I understand his business, Which I filch'd closely[238] from him, while he reveal'd T' his man his purposes and projects.

ALB. Excellent!

FUR. Thanks to this instrument: for, in pretence Of teaching young Sulpitia, th' old man's daughter, I got access to th' house, and while I waited Till she was ready, overheard Pandolfo Open his secrets to his servant. Thus 'tis: Antonio, Pandolfo's friend and neighbour, Before he went to Barbary, agreed To give in marriage----