A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Xi Part 51

It is needful a gentleman should speak Latin sometimes, is it not, Gervase?

STAINES. O, very graceful, sir; your most accomplished gentlemen are known by it.

BUB. Why, then will I make use of that little I have upon times and occasions. Here, Gervase, take this bag, and run presently to the mercer's; buy me seven ells of horse-flesh-coloured taffata, nine yards of yellow satin, and eight yards of orange-tawny velvet. Then run to the tailor's, the haberdasher's, the sempster's, the cutler's, the perfumer's, and to all trades whatsoever, that belong to the making up of a gentleman; and, amongst the rest, let not the barber be forgotten: and look that he be an excellent fellow, and one that can snap his fingers with dexterity.[174]

STAINES. I shall fit you, sir.

BUB. Do so, good Gervase: it is time my beard were corrected, for it is grown so saucy, as it begins to play with my nose.

STAINES. Your nose, sir, must endure it; for it is in part the fashion.

BUB. Is it in fashion? why, then my nose shall endure it, let it tickle his worst.

STAINES. Why, now y' are i' the right, sir; if you will be a true gallant, you must bear things resolute. As thus, sir; if you be at an ordinary, and chance to lose your money at play, you must not fret and fume, tear cards, and fling away dice, as your ignorant gamester or country-gentleman does; but you must put on a calm, temperate action, with a kind of careless smile in contempt of fortune, as not being able with all her engines to batter down one piece of your estate, that your means may be thought invincible. Never tell your money: nor what you have won, nor what you have lost. If a question be made, your answer must be: What I have lost, I have lost; what I have won, I have won. A close heart and free hand make a man admired: a testern or a shilling to a servant that brings you a gla.s.s of beer, binds his hands to his lips: you shall have more service of him than his master; he will be more humble to you than a cheater before a magistrate.

BUB. Gervase, give me thy hand: I think thou hast more wit than I, that am thy master; and for this speech only I do here create thee my steward. I do long, methinks, to be at an ordinary: to smile at fortune, and to be bountiful. Gervase, about your business, good Gervase, whilst I go and meditate upon a gentleman-like behaviour. I have an excellent gait already, Gervase, have I not?

STAINES. Hercules himself, sir, had never a better gait.

BUB. But despatch, Gervase: the satin and the velvet must be thought upon, and the _Tu quoque_ must not be forgotten; for whensoever I give arms, that shall be my motto. [_Exit_ BUBBLE.

STAINES. What a fortune had I thrown upon me when I preferred myself into this fellow's service! Indeed, I serve myself, and not him; for this gold here is my own, truly purchased: he has credit, and shall run i' th' books for't. I'll carry things so cunningly, that he shall not be able to look into my actions. My mortgage I have already got into my hands: the rent he shall enjoy awhile, till his riot constrain him to sell it; which I will purchase with his own money. I must cheat a little: I have been cheated upon. Therefore I hope the world will a little the better excuse me. What his uncle craftily got from me, I will knavishly recover of him. To come by it, I must vary shapes, and my first shift shall be in satin.

Proteus, propitious be to my disguise, And I shall prosper in my enterprise. [_Exit._

_Enter_ SPENDALL, PURSENET, _and a_ BOY _with rackets_.

SPEND. A rubber, sirrah.

BOY. You shall, sir.

SPEND. And bid those two men you said would speak with me come in.

BOY. I will, sir. [_Exit_ BOY.

SPEND. Did I not play this set well?

_Enter_ BLANK _and another_.

PURSE. Excellent well: by Phaeton, by Erebus, it went as if it had cut the line.

BLANK. G.o.d bless you, sir.

SPEND. Master Blank, welcome.

BLANK. Here's the gentleman's man, sir, has brought the money.

SER. Will't please you tell it, sir?

SPEND. Have you the bond ready, Master Blank?

BLANK. Yes, sir.

SPEND. 'Tis well. Pursenet, help to tell--10, 11, 12.

What time have you given?

BLANK. The thirteenth of the next month.

SPEND. 'Tis well: here's light gold.

SER. 'Twill be the less troublesome to carry.

SPEND. You say well, sir; how much hast thou told?

PURSE. In gold and silver, here is twenty pounds.

BLANK. 'Tis right, Master Spendall, I'll warrant you.

SPEND. I'll take your warrant, sir, and tell no farther.

Come, let me see the condition of this obligation.

PURSE. A man may win from him that cares not for't.

This royal Caesar doth regard no cash; Has thrown away as much in ducks and drakes, As would have bought some 50,000 capons. [_Aside._]

SPEND. 'Tis very well; so lend me your pen.

PURSE. This is the captain of brave citizens; The Agamemnon of all merry Greeks.

A Stukeley or a Sherley for his spirit,[175]

Bounty and royalty to men-at-arms.

BLANK. You give this as your deed?

SPEND. Marry do I, sir.

BLANK. Pleaseth this gentleman to be a witness?

SPEND. Yes, marry shall he. Pursenet, your hand.

PURSE. My hand is at thy service, n.o.ble Brutus.

SPEND. There's for your kindness, Master Blank.

BLANK. I thank you, sir.

SPEND. There's for your pains. [_To_ SERVANT.]

SER. I thank you, sir. [_Exit._]

BLANK. I'll take my leave of you.[176]