A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Xi Part 10

PEN. What's the matter?

WAG. I am with child by you.

PEN. By me? Why, by me? A good jest, i' faith.

WAG. You'll find it, sir, in earnest.

PEN. Why, do you think I am such an a.s.s to believe n.o.body has meddled with you but I?

WAG. Do you wrong me so much to think otherwise?

Thus 'tis for a poor damsel like myself To yield her honour and her youth to any, Who straight conceives she does so unto many: And as I have a soul to save, 'tis true.

PEN. Pray, do not swear. I do not urge you to't. 'Swounds, now I am undone! You walk somewhat round. Sweetheart, has n.o.body been tampering with you else? Think on't, for by this light, I am not worth the estate of an apple-wife. I do live upon commending my lord, the Lord of Hosts knows it, and all the world besides. For me to marry thee will undo thee more,

And that thou may'st keep me, keep thee in fashion, Sell thee to English, French, to Scot, and all, Till I have brought thee to an hospital; And there I leave you. Ha' you not heard nor read Of some base slave that, wagging his fair head, Does whistling at one end of his shop-walk, Whilst some gay man doth vomit bawdy talk In his wife's ears at the other? Such a rogue

Or worse shall I be; for look ye, Mistress Wagtail, I do live like a chameleon upon the air, and not like a mole upon the earth. Land I have none. I pray G.o.d send me a grave, when I am dead.

WAG. It's all one. I'll have you for your qualities.

PEN. For my good ones, they are altogether unknown, because they have not yet been seen, nor ever will be, for they have no being. In plain terms, as G.o.d help me, I have none.

WAG. How came you by your good clothes?

PEN. By undoing tailors; and then, my lord (like a snake) casts a suit every quarter, which I slip into: therefore thou art worse than mad if thou wilt cast away thyself upon me.

WAG. Why, what 'mends will you make me? can you give me some sum of money to marry me to some tradesman, as the play says?

PEN. No, by my troth. But tell me this, has not Sir Abraham been familiar with you?

WAG. Faith, not enough to make up a child.

PEN. Couldst be content to marry him?

WAG. Ay, by my troth, and thank ye, too.

PEN. Has he but kissed thee?

WAG. Yes; and something more beside that.

PEN. Nay, and there ha' been any jot of the thing, beside that, I'll warrant thee, lay the child to him--

Stand stifly to it, leave the rest to me; By that fool thou shalt save thy honesty. [_Exeunt._

FOOTNOTES:

[26] Or "Pancras parson," a term of contempt for the convenient clergymen of that day.

[27] The old copy reads, _And give up breathing to cross their intent_.

[28] What is the meaning of these initials must be left to the conjecture of the reader: perhaps _waits playing_, in reference to the attendant musicians.

[29] _i.e._, All but Kate, Strange, and Scudmore enter the church.

Strange and Kate follow immediately, and leave Scudmore _solus_.

[30] [Referring to what Strange has said a little before, not to Scudmore's speech, which is spoken aside.]

[31] [Gossamers.]

[32] [Old copies and former edits., _still given_, which appears to be meaningless. The word subst.i.tuted is not satisfactory, but it is the most likely one which has occurred to me, and the term is employed by our old playwrights rather more widely than at present.]

[33] _Dosser_ is used for a basket generally, but as it means strictly a pannier for the back (from the Fr. _dossier_), it is here used very inappropriately with reference to the burden Mrs Wagtail carries before her. We have it in the modern sense of pannier in "The Merry Devil of Edmonton"--

"The milkmaids' cuts shall turn the wenches off, And lay their _dossers_ tumbling in the dust."

--[x. 224.]

ACT III., SCENE I.

_Enter_ STRANGE, _knocking at a door_.

STRANGE. Lies Captain Pouts here, pray?

_Enter a_ SERVINGMAN.

SER. Sir, he does.

STRANGE. I prythee, tell him here's a gentleman would speak with him.

SER. What may I call your name, sir?

STRANGE. No matter for my name.

SER. Troth, sir, the Captain is somewhat doubtful of strangers; and being, as most captains are, a little in debt, I know he will not speak with you, unless you send your name.

STRANGE. Tell him my name is Strange; that I am come About that business he spake of to-day. [_Exit_ SERVANT.

To have sent a formal challenge by a gentleman, He being to choose his time, might peradventure Have made him shift himself the sooner over.

_Enter_ POUTS _above_.

CAPT. POUTS. Sir, I know your business. You are come to serve a warrant or a citation: I will not speak with you; and get you gone quickly too, or I may happen send a bullet through your mazzard. [_Exit._

STRANGE. Strange cross! past expectation! well, I'll try; My other course may speed more happily. [_Exit._