A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ix Part 110

BUT. Why, look you, I had all this talk for your good!

BAR. Hadst?

BUT. For you know the knight is but a scurvy-proud-prating prodigal, licentious, unnecessary--

WEN. An a.s.s, an a.s.s, an a.s.s.

BUT. Now you heard me tell him I had three wenches in store.

BAR. And he would have had them all, would he?

BUT. Hear me. Though he may live to be an ox, he had not now so much of the goat in him, but only hopes for one of the three, when indeed I have but two; and knowing you to be men of more virtue, and dearer in my respect, intend them to be yours.

WEN. We shall honour thee.

BAR. But how, butler?

BUT. I am now going to their place of residence, situate in the choicest place of the city, and at the sign of the Wolf, just against Goldsmith's Row, where you shall meet me; but ask not for me, only walk to and fro, and to avoid suspicion you may spend some conference with the shopkeeper's wives[408]; they have seats built a purpose for such familiar entertainment--where, from a bay-window[409] which is opposite, I will make you known to your desired beauties, commend the good parts you have--

WEN. By the ma.s.s, mine are very few. [_Aside_.]

BUT. And win a kind of desire, as women are soon won, to make you be beloved; where you shall first kiss, then woo, at length wed, and at last bed, my n.o.ble hearts.

BOTH. O butler!

BUT. Wenches, bona robas[410], blessed beauties, without colour or counterfeit. Away, put on your best clothes, get you to the barber's, curl up your hair, walk with the best struts you can: you shall see more at the window, and I have vowed to make you--

BAR. Wilt thou?

BUT. Both fools [_Aside_]; and I'll want of my wit, but I'll do't.

BAR. We will live together as fellows.

WEN. As brothers.

[_Exeunt_.

BUT. As arrant knaves, if I keep you company.

O, the most wretched season of this time!

These men, like fish, do swim within one stream, Yet they'd eat one another, making no conscience To drink with them they'd poison; no offence Betwixt their thoughts and actions has control, But headlong run, like an unbia.s.s'd bowl.

Yet I will draw[411] them on; but like to him, At play knows how to lose, and when to win.

_Enter_ THOMAS _and_ JOHN SCARBOROW.

THOM. Butler.

BUT. O, are you come, And fit as I appointed? so, 'tis well, You know your cues, and have instructions How to bear yourselves: all, all is fit, Play but your part, your states from hence are firm.

[_Exit_.

JOHN. What shall I term this creature? not a man,

[_Betwixt this_ BUTLER _leads_ ILFORD _in_.

He's not of mortal's temper, but he's one Made all of goodness, though of flesh and bone: O brother, brother, but for that honest man, As near to misery had been our breath, As where the thundering pellet strikes, is death.

THOM. Ay, my shift of shirts and change of clothes know't.

JOHN. We'll tell of him, like bells whose music rings On coronation-day for joy of kings, That hath preserv'd their steeples, not like tolls, That summons living tears for the dead souls.

_Enter_ BUTLER _and_ ILFORD _above_[412].

BUT. G.o.d's precious, see the h.e.l.l, sir: even as you had new-kissed, and were about to court her, if her uncles be not come.

ILF. A plague on the spite on't.

BUT. But 'tis no matter, sir; stay you here in this upper chamber, and I'll stay beneath with her: 'tis ten to one you shall hear them talk now of the greatness of her possessions, the care they have to see her well-bestowed, the admirableness of her virtues, all which for all their coming shall be but happiness ordained for you, and by my means be your inheritance.

ILF. Then thou'lt shift them away, and keep me from the sight of them?

BUT. Have I not promised to make you?

ILF. Thou hast.

BUT. Go to, then, rest here with patience, and be confident in my trust; only in my absence you may praise G.o.d for the blessedness you have to come, and say your prayers, if you will. I'll but prepare her heart for entertainment of your love, dismiss them for your free access, and return straight.

ILF. Honest-blessed-natural-friend, thou dealest with me like a brother, butler. [_Exit_ BUTLER.] Sure, heaven hath reserved this man to wear grey hairs to do me good. Now will I listen--listen close to suck in her uncles' words with a rejoicing ear.

THOM. As we were saying, brother[413], Where shall we find a husband for my niece?

ILF. Marry, she shall find one here, though you little know't. Thanks, thanks, honest butler.

JOHN. She is rich in money, plate, and jewels.

ILF. Comfort, comfort to my soul.

THOM. Hath all her manor-houses richly furnished.

ILF. Good, good; I'll find employment for them.

BUT. _within_. Speak loud enough, that he may hear you.

JOHN. I take her estate to be about a thousand pound a year.

ILF. And that which my father hath left me will make it about fifteen hundred. Admirable!

JOHN. In debt to no man: then must our natural care be, As she is wealthy, to see her married well.

ILF. And that she shall be as well as the priest can; he shall not leave a word out.

THOM. I think she has--