A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Viii Part 89

CAS. I can no longer linger my disgrace, Nor hide my shame from their detested sight.

How now, thou wh.o.r.e, dishonour to my bed!

Disdain to womanhood, shame of thy s.e.x!

Insatiate monster! corrosive of my soul!

What makes this captain revelling in my house?

My house! nay, in my bed! You'll prove a soldier!

Follow Bellona, turn a martialist!

I'll try if thou hast learn'd to ward my blows.

MAR. Why, how now, man! is this your madding month?

What, sir! will you forbid me in good sort To entertain my friends?

CAS. Your friends, you wh.o.r.e!

They are no friends of mine, nor come they here.

Clinton, avaunt, my house is for no such.

MAR. Alas, good sir! are you grown so suspicious, Thus on no proofs to nourish jealousy?

I cannot kiss a man but you'll be angry.

In spite of you, or whoso else saith nay, My friends are welcome, as they come this way: If you mislike it, mend it as you may.

What, do you think to pin up Marian, As you were wont to do your Spanish girls?

No, sir, I'll be half mistress of myself; The other half is yours, if you deserve it.

CLIN. What madness mov'd thee be displeas'd with me, That always us'd thee with so kind regard?

Did I not at thy first arrival here Conduct thee to the Earl of London's house?

MAR. Did I not, being unsolicited, Bestow my first pure maiden love on thee?

CLIN. Did I not grace thee there in all the court, And bear thee out against the daring abbot?

MAR. Did I not forsake many young gallant courtiers, Enamoured with thy aged gravity, Who, now being weary of me, wouldst disgrace me?

CAS. If there be any conscience left on earth, How can I but believe these protestations?

CLIN. Have I not always been thy nearest friend?

MAR. Have I not always been thy dearest wife?

CLIN. How much will all the world in this condemn thee?

MAR. At first I little fear'd what now I find, And grieve too late.

CAS. Content thee, gentle dame.

The nature of our countrymen is such, That, if we see another kiss our wives, We cannot brook it: but I will be pleas'd; For, will I, nill I,[464] so methinks I must.

And, gentle captain, be not you offended; I was too hot at first, but now repent it.

I prythee, gentle dame, forgive me this, And drown all jealousy in this sweet kiss.

CLIN. This shows your wisdom: on, I'll follow you.

MAR. [_Aside_.] Well, doctor, henceforth never reckon[465] it scorn At my sweet Clinton's hands to take the horn.

[_Exeunt_.

ACT IV., SCENE I.

_Enter_ ROBIN GOODFELLOW,[466] _in a suit of leather, close to his body; his face and hands coloured russet-colour, with a flail_.

ROB. The doctor's self would scarce know Robin now.

Curs'd Marian may go seek another man, For I intend to dwell no longer with her, Since that the bastinado drove me thence.

These silken girls are all too fine for me: My master shall report of those in h.e.l.l, Whilst I go range amongst the country-maids, To see, if homespun la.s.ses milder be Than my curs'd dame and Lacy's wanton wife.

Thus therefore will I live betwixt two shapes; When as I list, in this transform'd disguise, I'll fright the country-people as they pa.s.s; And sometimes turn me to some other form, And so delude them with fantastic shows.

But woe betide the silly dairymaids, For I shall fleet their cream-bowls night by night.

And slice the bacon-flitches as they hang.

Well, here in Croydon will I first begin To frolic it among the country lobs.

This day, they say, is call'd Holyrood-day, And all the youth are now a-nutting gone.

Here are a crew of younkers in this wood, Well-sorted, for each lad hath got his la.s.s.

Marry, indeed, there is a tricksy[467] girl, That three or four would fain be doing with, But that a wily priest among the rest Intends to bear her sheer away from all.

The miller, and my brother Grim the collier Appointed here to scuffle for her love.

I am on Grim's side; for long time ago The devil call'd the collier like to like:[468]

_Enter_ GRIM, CLACK, PARSON SHORTHOSE, JOAN, _with a bag of nuts_.

But here the miller and the collier come, With Parson Makebate and their tricksy girl.

GRIM. Parson, persuade me no more. I come, Jug, to your custody; Jug, hold the nut-bag.

CLACK. Nay, I will give you nuts to crack.

GRIM. Crack in thy throat and hauster[469] too.

SHO. Neighbours, I wish you both agree: Let me be judge, be rul'd by me.

GRIM. Master Parson, remember what _Pueriles_[470] saith, _Ne accesseris ad concilio_, &c. I tell you I found this written in the bottom of one of my empty sacks. Never persuade men that be inexecrable. I have vowed it, and I will perform it. The quarrel is great, and I have taken it upon my own shoulders.

CLACK. Ay, that thou shalt, ere I have done; for I will lay it on, i'faith.

GRIM. If you lay it in, I must bear it out, this is all. If you strike, I must stand to anything, although it be the biggest blow that you can lay upon me.

JOAN. Ye both have ofttimes sworn that ye love me; Let me overrule you in this angry mood.

Neighbours and old acquaintance, and fall out!

ROB. Why, that is, because thou wilt not let them fall in.

GRIM. I say, my heart bleedeth when thou speaketh, and therefore do not provoke me. Yet, miller, as I am monstrous angry, so I have a wonderful great mind to be repeas'd. Let's think what harm cometh by this same fighting; if we should hurt one another, how can we help it? Again, Clack, do but here forswear Joan's company, and I'll be thine instead of her, to use in all your businesses from Croydon to London; yours, Gilbert Grim, the chief collier for the king's majesty's own mouth.

CLACK. O Grim, do I smell you? I'll make you forswear her before we two part; and therefore come on to this gear. Collier, I will lay on load, and when it is done, let who will take it off again.