A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vii Part 103

Had my staff held, thou hadst not 'scap'd me so.

But come not near me, fellow, thou art not[534] best, Holla, Earl Leicester! holla, huntsmen, ho!

GLO. Upon my life, old Lancaster, a-hunting, Hath met my fellow-hermit. Could I meet him, I'd play [at] rob-thief, at least part stakes with him.

_Enter_ SKINK _as a hermit_.

SKINK. Zounds, he is yonder alone.

_Enter_ REDCAP _with a cudgel_.

SKINK. Now revenge thyself on yonder slave[535], 'Snails, still prevented? this same Redcap rogue Runs like hob goblin up and down the heath.

RED. Wh-wh-wh-whoop, he-hermit, ye ha-ha-ma-ma-made Re-Redcap run a fine co-co-compa.s.s, ha-have you not?

SKINK. I made thee run?

GLO. Yonder's my evil angel.

Were Redcap gone, Gloster would conjure him.

RED. Je-Je-Jesus bl-bless me, whoop! t-t-two hermits? I'll ca-ca-caperclaw t-t-t'one of ye, for mo-mo-mocking me, and I d-d-do not ha-ha-hang me. Wh-wh-which is the fa-fa-false k-k-k-knave? for I am s-s-sure the old he-he-hermit wo-would never mo-mock an honest man.

GLO. He is the counterfeit; he mock'd thee, fellow.

I did not see thee in my life before, He wears my garments, and has cosened me.

RED. Have you co-co-cosened the he-he-hermit and m-made Redcap run to no pu-pu-purpose?

SKINK. No, he's [a] counterfeit; I will tell no lies, As sure as Skink deceiv'd thee of thy clothes, Sent thee to Kent, gave thee thy fare by water, So sure, he's false, and I the perfect hermit.

GLO. This villain is a conjuror, I doubt, Were he the devil, yet I would not budge.

RED. Si-si-sirrah, you are the co-counterfeit. O, this is the tr-tr-true he-hermit. Sta-sta-stand still, g-good man, at that, I'll bu-b.u.mbast you i'faith, I'll make you g-give the old m-m-man his gown.

[_Offers to strike_; GLOSTER _trips up his heels; shifts_ SKINK _into his place_.

G-G-G.o.d's lid, are ye go-good at that? I'll cu-cudgel ye f-f-for the tr-tr-trick.

SKINK. It was not I; 'twas he, that cast thee down.

RED. You li-li-li-lie, you ra-ra-rascal, you; I le-left ye st-standing he-here.

SKINK. Zounds, hold, you stammerer, or I'll cut your stumps.

GLO. He is for me; he's weapon'd--I like that!

RED. O, here's a ro-ro-rogue in-ca-ca-carnate, help, mu-murder, murder.

_Enter_ LANCASTER _and_ HUNTSMEN _at one door_, LEICESTER _and_ HUNTSMEN _at another_.

LAN. Lay hold upon that thievish counterfeit.

LEI. Why, here's another hermit, Lancaster:

GLO. I am the hermit, sir; that wretched man Doth many a robbery in my disguise:

SKINK. It's he that robs; he slanders me; he lies.

LAN. Which set on thee?

RED. Th-this f-f-fellow has a s-s-sword and a buckler.

LAN. Search him; this is the thief; O, here's my purse, My chain, my jewels! O thou wicked wretch, How dar'st thou, under show of holiness, Commit such actions of impiety?

Bind him, I'll have him made a public scorn.

SKINK. Lay hold upon that other hermit; He is a counterfeit as well as I.

He stole those clothes from me; for I am Skink.

Search him, I know him not, he is some slave.

GLO. Thou liest, base varlet.

RED. O G-G.o.d, he has a sword too. Skink, are you ca-catcht?

LAN. Villain, thou shalt with me unto the Court.

LEI. And this with me; this is the traitor Gloster.

GLO. Thou liest, proud Leicester; I am no traitor,

RED. G-Gloster? O b-brave, now m-my father sh-shall be f-free.

LAN. Earl Gloster, I am sorry thou art taken.

GLO. I am not taken yet, nor will I yield To any here but n.o.ble Lancaster.

Let Skink be Leicester's prisoner; I'll be thine.

LEI. Thou shalt be mine.

GLO. First, through a crimson sluice, I'll send thy hated soul to those black fiends, That long have hovered gaping for their part, When tyrant life should leave thy traitor heart!

Come, Lancaster, keep Skink; I'll go with thee.

Let loose the mad knave, for I praise his shifts.

He shall not start away; I'll be his guide, And with proud looks outface young Henry's pride.

LEI. Look to them, Lancaster, upon thy life.

RED. Well, I'll r-run and get a p-pardon of the k-k-k-king, Gl-Gloster and Skink ta-ta-taken! O b-b-brave, r-r-r-run, Re-Re-Redca-cap, a-and ca-ca-carry the first n-n-news to Co-Co-Court.

LEI. Lancaster, I'll help to guard them to the Court.

LAN. Do as you please.