A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vii Part 100

Come to my closet, girl, make much of me; We'll appoint a meeting-place some twice a week, And I'll maintain thee like a lady, ha!

LADY F. O, but you will forget me presently, When you look well upon your lady's beauty.

FAU. Who? upon her? why, she is a very dowdy, A dishclout, a foul gipsy unto thee.

Come to my closet, la.s.s, there take thy earnest Of love, of pleasure, and good maintenance.

LADY F. I am very fearful.

FAU. Come, fool, never fear.

I am lord here, who shall disturb us then?

Nay, come, or, by the rood, I'll make you come.

LADY F. Help, Madam Fauconbridge, for G.o.d's sake.

_Enter_ ROBIN HOOD _as_ LADY FAUCONBRIDGE, _and_ BLOCK.

FAU. How now, what mean'st?

LADY F. Help, gentle madam, help!

ROB. How now, what ail'st thou?

BLOCK. Nay, and't be a woman: ne'er fear my master, madam.

ROB[526]. Why speak'st thou not, what ail'st thou?

FAU. Why, nothing, by the rood, nothing she ails.

LADY F. O madam, this vile man would have abused me, And forc'd me to his closet.

ROB. Ah, old Cole,[527] now look about: you are catcht!

LADY F. Call in your fellows, Block.

FAU. Do not, thou knave.

LADY F. Do, or I'll crack your crown.

BLO. Nay, I'll do't: I know she means to shame you.

[_Exit_.

FAU. Why, Moll, wilt thou believe this paltry woman?

Huswife, I'll have you whipp'd for sland'ring me.

ROB. What, lecher? no, she is an honest woman: Her husband's well known; all the household knows.

BLO. Here's some now to tell all the town your mind.

LADY F. Before ye all I must [now] sure complain.

You see this wicked man, and ye all know How oft he hath been jealous of my life: Suspecting falsehood, being false himself.

BLO. O master, O master.

FAU. She slanders me; she is a cozening quean.

Fetch me the constable: I'll have her punish'd.

LADY F. The constable for me? fie, fie upon ye.

Madam, do you know this ring?

ROB. It is Sir Richard's.

BLO. O, aye, that's my master's, too [--too] sure.

FAU. Ay, marry, I did lend it to the false drab To fetch some money for that bankrupt knave, Her husband, that lies prisoner in the Fleet.

LADY F. My husband bankrupt? my husband in the Fleet prisoner?

No, no, he is as good a man as you.

ROB. Ay, that he is, and can spend pound for pound With thee, i'faith, wert richer than thou art.

I know the gentleman.

LADY F. Nay, madam, he is Hard by: there must be revels at the Hind tonight; Your copesmate's there--Prince John.

ROB. There's a hot youth!

BLO. O, a fierce gentleman!

LADY F. He was fierce as you; but I have match'd him: The princess shall be there in my attire.

FAU. A plaguy, crafty quean, marry a G.o.d, I see Prince John courted as well as I; And since he shall be mock'd as well as I, It's some contentment.

BLO. Ma.s.s, he droops.

Fellow Humphrey, he is almost taken, Look about ye, old Richard. [_Aside_.

FAU. Hence, knaves; get in a little. Prythee, Moll, Let thou and I, and she, shut up this matter.

ROB. Away, sirs; get in.

BLO. Come, come, Let's go; he will be baited now. Farewell.

[_Exit_ BLOCK.

FAU. Marry, sweet Moll, I say, I met this woman; Lik'd her, lov'd her; For she is worthy love, I promise thee.

I say, I courted her: tut, make no brawl, 'Twixt thou and I we'll have amends for all.

ROB. Had I done such a trick, what then? what then?

FAU. Ah prythee, Moll, tut, bear with men.

ROB. Aye, we must bear with you; you'll be excus'd, When women undeserved are abus'd.