A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vii Part 31

CLOWN. Why, do you not know me?

SEGASTO. Why, no; how should I know thee?

CLOWN. Why then you know n.o.body, and you know not me[170]. I tell you, sir, I am the goodman Rat's son, of the next parish over the hill.

SEGASTO. Goodman Rat's son; why, what's thy name?

CLOWN. Why, I am very near kin unto him.

SEGASTO. I think so; but what's thy name.

CLOWN. My name? I have [a] very pretty name; I'll tell you what my name is--my name is Mouse.

SEGASTO. What, plain Mouse?

CLOWN. Ay, plain Mouse, without either welt or gard.

But do you hear, sir, I am but a very young Mouse, For my tail is scarce grown out yet. Look you here else.

SEGASTO. But I pray thee, who gave thee that name?

CLOWN. Faith, sir, I know not that; but if you would fain know, ask my father's great horse, for he hath been half a year longer with my father than I have.

SEGASTO. This seems to be a merry fellow; I care not if I take him home with me.

Mirth is a comfort to a troubled mind, A merry man a merry master makes. [_Aside_.

How say'st thou, sirrah? wilt thou dwell with me?

CLOWN. Nay, soft, sir, two words to a bargain; pray you, what occupation are you?

SEGASTO. No occupation; I live upon my lands.

CLOWN. Your lands; away, you are no master for me. Why, do you think that I am so mad, to go seek my living in the lands amongst the stones, briars and bushes, and tear my holiday apparel? Not I, by your leave.

SEGASTO. Why, I do not mean thou shalt.

CLOWN. How then?

SEGASTO. Why, thou shalt be my man, and wait upon me at the court.

CLOWN. What's that?

SEGASTO. Where the king lies.

CLOWN. What's that same king--a man or a woman?

SEGASTO. A man, as thou art.

CLOWN. As I am? Hark you, sir; pray you, what kin is he to goodman King of our parish, the churchwarden?

SEGASTO. No kin to him; he is the king of the whole land.

CLOWN. King of the land? I never see him.

SEGASTO. If thou wilt dwell with me, thou shalt see him every day.

CLOWN. Shall I go home again to be torn in pieces with bears? No, not I; I will go home and put on a clean shirt, and then go drown myself.

SEGASTO. Thou shalt not need, if thou wilt dwell with me; thou shalt want nothing.

CLOWN. Shall I not? Then here's my hand: I'll dwell with you. And hark you, sir! now you have entertained me, I will tell you what I can do.

I can keep my tongue from picking and stealing, and my hands from lying and slandering, I warrant you, as well as ever you had man, in all your life.

SEGASTO. Now will I to court with sorrowful heart, rounded with doubts.

If Amadine do live, then happy I: yea, happy I, if Amadine do live!

[_Exeunt.

Enter the_ KING, _with a young Prince prisoner_, AMADINE[171], _with_ COLLEN _and Councillors_.

KING. Now, brave lords, [that] our wars are brought to end; Our foes [have had] the foil, and we in safety rest, It us behoves to use such clemency In peace, as valour in the wars. It is As great honour to be bountiful At home, as to be conquerors in the field.

Therefore, my lords, the more to my content, Your liking, and your country's safeguard, We are dispos'd in marriage for to give Our daughter to Lord Segasto here, Who shall succeed the diadem after me, And reign hereafter as I tofore have done, Your sole and lawful King of Arragon: What say you, lordings, like you of my advice?

COLLEN. An't please your majesty, we do not only allow of your highness's pleasure, but also vow faithfully in what we may to further it.

KING. Thanks, good my lords, if long Adrostus live, He will at full requite your courtesies.

Tremelio, in recompense of thy late valour done, Take unto thee the Catalonian prince[172], Lately our prisoner taken in the wars.

Be thou his keeper; his ransom shall be thine; We'll think of it, when leisure shall afford.

Meanwhile, do use him well; his father is a king.

TREMELIO. Thanks to your majesty, his usage shall be such As he thereat shall think no cause to grutch.

[_Exeunt_ TREMELIO _and Prince_.

KING. Then march we on to court, and rest our wearied limbs.

But, Collen, I have a tale in secret kept for thee: When thou shalt hear a watchword from thy king, Think then some weighty matter is at hand, That highly shall concern our state, Then, Collen, look thou be not far from me: And for thy service thou tofore hast done, Thy truth and valour prov'd in every point, I shall with bounties thee enlarge therefore: So guard us to the court.

COLLEN. What so my sovereign doth command me do, With willing mind I gladly yield consent.

[_Exeunt.

Enter_ SEGASTO _and the_ CLOWN, _with weapons about him_.

SEGASTO. Tell me, sirrah, how do you like your weapons?

CLOWN. O, very well, very well; they keep my sides warm.

SEGASTO. They keep the dogs from your shins very well, do they not?

CLOWN. How, keep the dogs from my shins? I would scorn but my shins could keep the dogs from them.