A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vi Part 101

Is she so foul as Ethenwald reports her?

Believe me, then, she had been unfit for me.

PERIN.

My gracious lord, Ethenwald hath dissembled with your majesty, For Alfrida is fair and virtuous; For last night, being in private conference, He told me he had devised a mean To colour with the king by forg'd excuse.

No, no (quoth he), my Alfrida is fair, As is the radiant North star crystalline, That guides the wet and weary traveller, Sous'd with the surge of Neptune's wat'ry main.

And thus, my lord, he fell to praising her, And from his pocket straight he drew this counterfeit.[309]

And said 'twas made by[310] beauteous Alfrida.

KING.

A face more fair than is the sun's bright beams, Or snow-white Alps beneath fair Cynthia!

Who would refuse with Hercules to spin, When such fair faces bears us company?

Fair Polyxena never was so fair: Nor she that was proud love to Troylus.

Great Alexander's love, Queen of Amazons, Was not so fair as is fair Alfrida.

But, Perin, be thou secret to the king, And I will sound these subtle practises.

And, Ethenwald, be sure I will quittance thee, And teach thee how to dally with thy king.

But, Perin, let's to court until to-morn, And then we'll take horse and away.

[_Exeunt_.

_Enter mad men of Gotham, to wit, a_ MILLER, _a_ COBBLER, _and a_ SMITH.

MILLER.

Now, let us constult among ourselves, How to misbehave ourselves to the king's worship, Jesus bless him! and when he comes, to deliver him this pet.i.tion, I think the Smith were best to do it, for he's a wise man.

COBBLER.

Neighbour, he shall not do it, as long as Jeffrey the translater[311]

is Mayor of the town.

SMITH.

And why, I pray? because I would have put you from the Mace?

MILLER.

No, not for that, but because he is no good fellow; Nor he will not spend his pot for company.

SMITH.

Why, sir, there was a G.o.d[312] of our occupation; and I charge you by virtue of his G.o.dhead to let me deliver the pet.i.tion.

COBBLER.

But soft, you: your G.o.d was a cuckold, and his G.o.dhead was the horn, and that's the arms of the G.o.dhead you call upon. Go, you are put down with your occupation; and now I will not grace you so much as to deliver the pet.i.tion for you.

SMITH.

What, dispraise our trade?

COBBLER.

Nay, neighbour, be not angry, for I'll stand to nothing only but this--

SMITH.

But what? bear witness a gives me the but, and I am not willing to shoot. Cobbler, I will talk with you: nay, my bellows, my coal-trough, and my water shall enter arms with you for our trade. O neighbour, I cannot bear it, nor I will not bear it!

MILLER.

Hear you, neighbour; I pray consuade yourself and be not wilful, and let the cobbler deliver it: you shall see him mar all.

SMITH.

At your request I will commit myself to you, And lay myself open to you, like an oyster.

MILLER.

I'll tell him what you say. Hear you, neighbour, we have constulted to let you deliver the pet.i.tion: do it wisely, for the credit of the town.

COBBLER.

Let me alone, for the king's carminger[313] was here; He says the king will be here anon.

SMITH.

But hark! by the ma.s.s, he comes.

_Enter the_ KING, DUNSTAN, _and_ PERIN.

KING.

How now, Perin; who have we here?

COBBLER.

We, the townsmen of Gotham, Hearing your grace would come this way, Did think it good for you to stay.-- But hear you, neighbours, bid somebody ring the bells.-- And we are come to you alone, to deliver our pet.i.tion[314].

KING.

What is it, Perin? I pray thee, read.

PERIN.

Nothing but to have a license to brew strong ale thrice a week; and he that comes to Gotham, and will not spend a penny on a pot of ale, if he be a-dry, that he may fast.

KING.

Well, sirs, we grant your pet.i.tion.

COBBLER.

We humbly thank your royal majesty.

KING.

Come, Dunstan; let's away.

[_Exeunt omnes_.

_Enter_ ETHENWALD _alone_.

ETHENWALD.

Ethenwald, be advised: the king has sent to thee; Nay, more, he means to come and visit thee.

But why? Ay, there's the question.

Why, 'tis for this; to see if he can find A front whereon to graft a pair of horns: But in plain terms he comes to cuckold me.

And for he means to do it without suspect, He sends me word he means to visit me.

The king is amorous, and my wife is kind, So kind, I fear, that she will quickly yield To any motion that the king shall make, Especially if the motion be of love; For Pliny writes, women are made like wax, Apt to receive any impression, Whose minds are like the Janamyst, That eats, yet cries, and never is satisfied.

Well, be as it is, for I'll be sure of this, It shall be no ways prejudice to me; For I will set a screen before the fire, And so prevent what otherwise would ensue.

'Twere good I questioned with my father first, To hear how he['s] affected towards the king.