A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vi Part 5

Marry, then you had need to be kept very warm.

AVARICE.

I swear to your mastership, by the man in the moon, That to your person I intended no harm.

HYPOCRISY.

But that I am weary, I would both your tongues charm.

See how to my face they do me deride [_Aside_]; I will not therefore in your companies abide.

AVARICE.

Why, Master Hypocrisy, what would you that I do?

For my offence of mercy I you pray.

HYPOCRISY.

With thee I am at one; but of that merchant too I look for some amends, or else I will away.

TYRANNY.

The presumptuous fool's part herein thou dost play.

What! of thy master dost thou look for obeisance?

I will not once entreat thee: if thou wilt, get thee hence.

HYPOCRISY.

_Nimia familiaritas parit contemptum_, The old proverb by me is verified, By too much familiarity contemned be some: Even so at this present to me it betide.

For of long time Hypocrisy hath ruled as guide, While now, of later days, through heretics' resistance, I retained Tyranny to yield me a.s.sistance; But through overmuch levity he thinks himself checkmate With me his good patron, Master Hypocrisy.

TYRANNY.

List, I pray thee, Avarice, how this rascal can prate, And with me Tyranny doth challenge equality; Where he of himself hath neither strength nor hability; But thou to him riches, and I strength, do give, So that I must be his master, though it doth him grieve.

AVARICE.

Two dogs oftentimes one bone would fain catch, But yet the third do them both deceive.

Even so Hypocrisy for the pre-eminence doth s.n.a.t.c.h, Which Tyranny gapes for, ye may perceive: But I must obtain it; for of me they retain All kind of riches, their states to maintain, To yield to me, therefore, they must be both fain. [_Aside_.

HYPOCRISY.

Was Judas Christ's master, because he bare the purse?

Nay, rather of all he was least regarded, Have not men of honour stewards to disburse All such sums of money wherewith they be charged?

Yet above their master their honour is not enlarged: Even so thee, Avarice, my steward I account, To pay that whereto my charges amount.

And to thee, Tyranny, this one word I object: Whether was Joab or David the king?

When Joab was glad his ease to reject, The Ammonites in Rabah to confusion to bring, When David with Bathsheba at home was sleeping, Was not Joab, his servant, in warfare to fight?

And so art thou mine, mine enemies to quite.

TYRANNY.

Nay, then, at the whole G.o.d give you good night, Shall Tyranny to Hypocrisy in any point yield?

HYPOCRISY.

With this one word I will vanquish thee quite, That thou shalt be glad to give me the field.

The end to be preferred all learned men wield: Sith therefore Hypocrisy of Tyranny is end, I must have the preferment for which I contend.

[AVA. Indeed you say troth.]

TYRANNY.

I will make you both grant that I am the chief, Or else with my sword your sides I will pierce.

HYPOCRISY.

That were sharp reasoning indeed, with a mischief!

AVARICE.

I will yield him my right, if that he be so fierce.

HYPOCRISY.

The nature of hypocrites herein we rehea.r.s.e; Which, being convinced by the text of G.o.d's word, The end of their spouting is fire and sword.

But if you will needs be chief, G.o.d speed well the plough: I will be none that shall follow your train; For if I should, I know well enough That to fly the country we all should be fain: Then were my labour done but in vain.

You know not so much as I do, Tyranny, Therefore, I advise you, be ruled by me.

TYRANNY.

_Inter amicos omnia sunt communia_, they say: Among friends there is reckoned no property, But that the one hath of his own, th' other may Have the use of the same at his own liberty, Even so among us it is of a surety; For what the one hath of his own proper right, It is thine to use by day or by night.

AVARICE.

Indeed you say truth, the end is worth all;

[HYP. He hath learned logeres.[32]]

Such things as to get the end are referred, And by this reason to you I prove shall, That I before Hypocrisy must be preferred: The conclusion of my reason is this[33] inferred; Sith Hypocrisy was invented to augment private gain, I am the end of Hypocrisy: this is plain.

HYPOCRISY.

_Actum est de amicitia_, the bargain is despatched, And we two in friendship are united as one.

AVARICE.

In the same knot with you let me also be matched, And of money, I warrant you, you shall want none.

HYPOCRISY.

I agree; what say you? shall he be one?

TYRANNY.

I judge him needful in our company to be, And therefore, for my part, he is welcome to me.

[HYP. Friendship for gain.]

Let us now speedily on our business attend, And labour each one to bring it about.

HYPOCRISY.

That is already by me brought to end, So that of your preferment you need not to doubt; And my coming hither was to find you out, That at my elbow you might be in readiness, To help, if need were, in this weighty business.

To tell you the story it were but too tedious, How the Pope and I together have devised, Firstly to inveigle the people religious, For greediness of gain who will be soon pressed: And, for fear lest hereafter they should be despised, Of their own freewill will maintain Hypocrisy, So that Avarice alone shall conquer the clergy.

Now, of the chiefest of his carnal cardinals He doth appoint certain, and give them authority To ride abroad in their pontificals, To see if with Avarice they may win the laity; If not, then to threaten them with open Tyranny: Whereby doubt not but many will forsake The truth of the gospel, and our parties take.

TYRANNY.

This device is praiseworthy: how say'st thou, Avarice?

AVARICE.

I like it well, if it were put in ure, Yet little gain to me shall this whole practice, More than I had before-time, procure.