A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ii Part 23

ISMAEL. Have with thee, Dalilah: Farewell our school!

Away with books and all, [_They cast away their books_.

I will set my heart On a merry pin, Whatever shall befall.

EULALIA. Lord, what folly is in youth!

How unhappy be children now-a-days?

And the more pity, to say the truth, Their parents maintain them in evil ways: Which is a great cause that the world decays, For children, brought up in idleness and play, Unthrifty and disobedient continue alway.

A neighbour of mine hath children hereby, Idle, disobedient, proud, wanton, and nice.

As they come by, they do shrewd turns daily; Their parents so to suffer them surely be not wise.

They laugh me to scorn, when I tell them mine advice; I will speak with their elders and warn them neighbourly: Never in better time, their mother is hereby.

[_Enter Xantippe_.

G.o.d save you, gossip, I am very fain, That you chance now to come this way; I long to talk with you a word or twain, I pray you take it friendly that I shall say: Ismael your son and your daughter Dalilah Do me shrewd turns daily more and more, Chide and beat my children, it grieveth me sore.

They swear, curse, and scold, as they go by the way, Giving other ill ensample to do the same, To G.o.d's displeasure and their hurt another day, Chastise them for it, or else ye be to blame.

XANTIPPE. Tush, tush, if ye have no more than that to say, Ye may hold your tongue and get ye away, Alas, poor souls, they sit a-school all day In fear of a churl; and if a little they play, He beateth them like a devil; when they come home, Your mistress-ship would have me lay on.

If I should beat them, so oft as men complain, By the ma.s.s, within this month I should make them lame.

EULALIA. Be not offended, I pray you, I must say more, Your son is suspect light-fingered to be: Your daughter hath nice tricks three or four; See to it in time, lest worse ye do see; He that spareth the rod, hateth the child truly.

Yet Salomon sober correction doth mean, Not to beat and bounce them, to make them lame.

XANTIPPE. G.o.d thank you, mistress, I am well at ease: Such a fool to teach me, preaching as she please!

Dame, ye belie them deadly, I know plain; Because they go handsomely, ye disdain.[219]

EULALIA. Then on the other[220] as well would I complain, But your other son is good, and no thanks to you!

These will ye make nought, by sweet Jesu.

XANTIPPE. Gup, liar,[221] my children nought ye lie: By your malice they shall not set a fly; I have but one mome in comparison of his brother: Him the fool praiseth, and despiseth the other.

EULALIA. Well, Xantippe, better in time than too late, Seeing ye take it so, here my leave I take.

[_Exit_.

XANTIPPE. Marry, good leave have ye, the great G.o.d be with you!

My children or I be cursed, I think; They be complained on, wherever they go, That for their pleasure they might drink.

Nay, by this the poor souls be come from school weary; I will go get them meat to make them merry.

INIQUITY, ISMAEL, _and_ DALILAH _come in together_.

INIQUITY. _Lo, lo, here I bring-a_.

ISMAEL. _What is she, now ye have her?_

DALILAH. _A l.u.s.ty minion loner_.[222]

INIQUITY. _For no gold will I give her_--

ALL TOGETHER. _Welcome, my honey-a!_

INIQUITY. O my heart! [_Here he speaketh_.

This wench can sing, And play her part.

DALILAH. I am yours, and you mine, with all my heart.

INIQUITY. By the ma.s.s, it is well sung; Were ye not sorry ye were a maid so long?

DALILAH. Fie, master Iniquity, fie, I am a maid yet.

ISMAEL. No, sister, no, your maidenhead is sick.

INIQUITY. That knave your brother will be a blab still, I-wis, Dalilah, ye can say as much by him, if ye will.

DALILAH. By him, quod-a? he hath wh.o.r.es two or three, But ich tell your minion doll,[223] by Gog's body: It skilleth not she doth hold you as much.

ISMAEL. Ye lie falsely, she will play me no such touch.

DALILAH. Not she? Yes, to do your heart good, I could tell you who putteth a bone in your hood!

ISMAEL. Peace, wh.o.r.e, or ye bear me a box on[224] there--

DALILAH. Here is mine ear, knave; strike, and thou dare!

To suffer him thus ye be no man, If ye will not revenge me, I will find one; To set so little by me ye were not wont-- Well, it is no matter; Though ye do, _ceteri nolunt_.

INIQUITY. Peace, Dalilah; speak ye Latin, poor fool?

DALILAH. No, no, but a proverb I learned at school--

ISMAEL. Yea, sister, you went to school, till ye were past grace;--

DALILAH. Yea, so didst thou, by thy knave's face!

INIQUITY. Well, no more a-do, let all this go, We kinsfolk must be friends, it must be so.

Come on, come on, come on, [_He casteth dice on the board_.

Here they be that will do us all good.

ISMAEL. If ye use it long, your hair will grow through your hood.

INIQUITY. Come on, knave, with Christ's curse, I must have some of the money Thou hast picked out of thy father's purse!

DALILAH. He, by the ma.s.s, if he can get his purse, Now and then he maketh it by half the worse.

ISMAEL. I defy you both, wh.o.r.e and knave--

INIQUITY. What, ye princ.o.c.ks, begin ye to rave? Come on--

DALILAH. Master Iniquity, by your leave, I will play a crown or two here by your sleeve.

ISMAEL. Then be ye servant to a worshipful man, Master Iniquity--a right name, by Saint John!