A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ii Part 10

JUVENTUS.

What, Friendship?

I am glad to see that you be merry; By my truth, I had almost you forgot, By long absence brought out of memory.

HYPOCRISY.

By the ma.s.s, I love you so heartily, That there is none so welcome to my company: I pray you, tell me whither are you going?

JUVENTUS.

My intention is, to go hear a preaching.

HYPOCRISY.

A preaching, quod-a? ah, good little one!

By Christ, she will make you cry out of the winning, If you follow her instruction so early in the morning.

JUVENTUS.

Full great[95] I do abhor this your wicked saying; For, no doubt, they increase much sin and vice: Therefore I pray you, show not your meaning, For I delight not in such foolish fantasies.

HYPOCRISY.

Surely, then you are the more unwise: You may have a spurt amongst them now and then; Why should not you, as well as other men?

JUVENTUS.

As for those filthy doings[96] I utterly detest them; I will hear no more of your wicked communication.

HYPOCRISY.

If I may be so bold by your deliberation, What will you do at a preaching?

JUVENTUS.

Learn some wholesome and G.o.dly teaching Of the true minister of Christ's gospel.

HYPOCRISY.

Tush, what he will say, I know right well; He will say that G.o.d is a good man,[97]

He can make him no better, and say the best he can.

JUVENTUS.

I know that, but what then?

The more that G.o.d's Word is preached and taught, The greater the occasion is to all Christian men To forsake their sinful livings, both wicked, vile and naught: And to repent their former evils, which they have wrought, Trusting by Christ's death to be redeemed: And he that this doth shall never be deceived.

HYPOCRISY.

Well said, master doctor, well said!

By the ma.s.s, we must have you into the pulpit: I pray you be remembered, and cover your head; For indeed you have need to keep in your wit: Ah, sirrah, who would have thought it, That youth had been such a well-learned man!

Let me see your portous,[98] gentle Sir John!

JUVENTUS.

No, it is not a book for you[99] to look on, You ought not to jest with G.o.d's Testament.

HYPOCRISY.

What, man? I pray you be content; For I do nothing else, but say my phantasy: But yet, if you would do after my advis.e.m.e.nt, In that matter you should not be so busy; Was not your father as well-learned as ye?

And if he had said then as you have now done, I-wis he had been like to make a burn.

JUVENTUS.

It were much better for me than to return From my faith in Christ and the profession of his word.

HYPOCRISY.

Whether is better a halter or a cord, I cannot tell, I swear by G.o.d's mother: But I think[100] you will have the one or the other: Will you lose all your friends' good will, To continue in that opinion still?

Was there not as well-learned men before as now?

Yea, and better too, I may say to you?

And they taught[101] the younger sort of people By the elders to take an example: And if I did not love you, as nature doth me bind, You should not know so much of my mind.

JUVENTUS.

Whether were[102] I better to be ignorant and blind, And to be d.a.m.ned in h.e.l.l for infidelity; Or to learn G.o.dly knowledge, wherein I shall find The right path-way to eternal felicity?

HYPOCRISY.

Can you deny, but it is your duty Unto your elders to be obedient?

JUVENTUS.

I grant I am bound to obey my parents In all things honest and lawful.

HYPOCRISY.

Lawful, quod-a? ah, fool, fool!

Wilt[103] thou set men to school, When they be old?

I may say to you secretly, The world was never merry, Since children were so bold: Now every boy will be a teacher, The father a fool, and the child a preacher; This is pretty gear: The foul presumption[104] of youth Will turn shortly to great ruth, I fear, I fear, I fear.

JUVENTUS.

The sermon will be done, ere I can come there: I care not greatly whether I go or no; And yet for my promise, by G.o.d I swear, There is no remedy but I must needs go: Of my companions there will be mo, And I promised them, by G.o.d's grace, To meet them there as the sermon was.

HYPOCRISY.

For once breaking promise do not you pa.s.s; Make some excuse the matter to cease, What have they to do?

And you and I were, I wot[105] where, We would be as merry as there, Yea, and merrier too.

JUVENTUS.

I would gladly in your company go; But, if my companions should chance to see, They would report full evil by me: And peradventure, if I should[106] it use, My company they would clean refuse.

HYPOCRISY.

What, are those fellows so curious, That yourself you cannot excuse?

I will teach you the matter to convey; Do what your own l.u.s.t, and say as they say; And if you be reproved with your own affinity, Bid them pluck the beam out of their own eye: The old popish priests mock and despise, And the ignorant people, that believe their lies, Call them papists, hypocrites, and joining of the plough; Face[107] out the matter, and then good enough!

Let your book at your girdle be tied, Or else in your bosom that he may be spied; And then it will be said both with youth and age, Yonder fellow hath an excellent knowledge.

Tush, tush!

I could so beat[108] the bush, That all should be flush, That ever I did.

JUVENTUS.

Now, by my truth, you are merrily disposed; Let us go thither as you think best.

HYPOCRISY.

How say you? shall we go to breakfast?

Will you go to the pie-feast?

Or, by the ma.s.s, if thou wilt be my guest, It shall cost thee nothing; I have a furny card in a place, That will bear a turn besides the ace, She purveys now apace For my coming: And if thou wilt sibber[109] as well as I, We shall have merry company: And I warrant thee, if we have not a pie, We shall have a pudding.

JUVENTUS.

By the ma.s.s, that meat I love above all thing; You may draw me about the town with a pudding.[110]