A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume I Part 34

Make room, sirs, that I may break his pate; I will not be taken for them both.

CONTEMPLATION.

Thou shalt abide, whether thou be lief or loth; Therefore, good son, listen unto me, And mark these words that I do tell thee: Thou hast followed thine own will many a day, And lived in sin without amendment; Therefore in thy conceit essay To axe G.o.d mercy, and keep His commandment, Then on thee He wilt have pity, And bring thee to heaven that joyful city.

FREEWILL.

What, wh.o.r.eson? Will ye have me now a fool?

Nay, yet had I liever be captain of Calais; For, and I should do after your school, To learn to patter to make me peevish, Yet had I liever look with a face full thievish: And therefore, prate no lenger here, Lest my knave's fist hit you under the ear.

What, ye daws, would ye reed me For to lese my pleasure in youth and jollity, To ba.s.s and kiss my sweet _trully mully_, As Jane, Kate, Bess, and Sybil?

I would that h.e.l.l were full of such prims, Then would I renne thither on my pins, As fast as I might go.

PERSEVERANCE.

Why, sir, wilt thou not love virtue, And forsake thy sin for the love of G.o.d Almighty?

FREEWILL.

What G.o.d Almighty, by G.o.d's fast at Salisbury, And I trow Easter-day fell on Whitsunday that year, There were five score save an hundred in my company, And at petty Judas we made royal cheer, There had we good ale of Michaelmas brewing; There heaven-high leaping and springing, And thus did I Leap out of Bordeaux unto Canterbury, Almost ten mile between.

CONTEMPLATION.

Freewill, forsake all this world wilfully here, And change by time; thou oughtest to stand in fear; For fortune will turn her wheel so swift, That clean fro thy wealth she will thee lift.

FREEWILL.

What, lift me, who? and Imagination were here now, I-wis with his fist he would all-to clout you: Hence, wh.o.r.eson, tarry no lenger here; For by Saint Pintle the apostle I swear, That I will drive you both home, And yet I was never wont to fight alone: Alas, that I had not one to bold[149] me, Then you should see me play the man shamefully; Alas, it would do me good to fight; How say you, lords, shall I smite?

Have among you, by this light: Hence, wh.o.r.esons, and home at once, Or with my weapon I shall break your bones.

Avaunt, you knave: walk, by my counsel.

PERSEVERANCE.

Son, remember the great pains of h.e.l.l, They are so horrible that no tongue can tell; Beware, lest thou thither do go.

FREEWILL.

Nay, by Saint Mary, I hope not so; I will not go to the devil, while I have my liberty, He shall take the labour to fet me, and he will have me; For he that will go to h.e.l.l by his will voluntarily, The devil and the whirlwind go with him: I will you never fro thence tidings bring; Go you before, and show me the way, And as to follow you I will not say nay: For, by G.o.d's body, and you be in once, By the ma.s.s, I will s.h.i.t[150] the door at once, And then ye be take in a pitfall.

CONTEMPLATION.

Now, Jesus, soon defend us from that hole, For, "Qui est in inferno nulla est redemptio:"

Holy Job spake these words full long ago.

FREEWILL.

Nay, I have done; and you laid out Latin with scope, But therewith can you clout me a pair of boots?[151]

By our lady, ye should have some work of me, I would have them well underlaid and easily, For I use alway to go on the one side; And trow ye how? by G.o.d, in the stocks I sat till, I trow a three weeks, and more a little stound, And there I laboured sore day by day, And so I tread my shone inward in good fay; Lo, therefore methink you must sole them round.

If you have any new boots, a pair I would buy, But I think your price be too high.

Sir, once at Newgate I bought a pair of stirrups,[152]

A mighty pair and a strong, A whole year I ware them so long, But they came not fully to my knee, And to clout them it cost not me a penny: Even now, and ye go thither, ye shall find a great heap, And you speak in my name, ye shall have good cheap.

PERSEVERANCE.

Sir, we came never there, ne never shall do.

FREEWILL.

Marry, I was taken in a trap there, and tied by the toe, That I halted a great while, and might not go.

I would ye both sat as fast there; Then should ye dance as a bear, And all by gangling of your chains.

CONTEMPLATION.

Why, sir, were ye there?

FREEWILL.

Yea, and that is seen by my brains; For, ere I came there, I was as wise as a woodc.o.c.k, And, I thank G.o.d, as witty as a haddock.

Yet I trust to recover, as other does, For, and I had once as much wit as a goose, I should be merchant of the bank; Of gold then I should have many a frank, For if I might make three good voyages to Shooter's Hill,[153]

And have wind and weather at my will, Then would I never travel the sea more: But it is hard to keep the ship fro the sh.o.r.e, And if it hap to rise a storm, Then thrown in a raft, and so about borne On rocks or brachs[154] for to run, Else to strike aground at Tyburn, That were a mischievous case, For that rock of Tyburn is so perilous a place, Young gallants dare not venture into Kent; But when their money is gone and spent, With their long boots they row on the bay,[155]

And any man of war[156] lie by the way, They must take a boat and throw the helm ale;[157]

And full hard it is to scape that great jeopardy, For, at Saint Thomas of Watering and they strike a sail, Then must they ride in the haven of hemp without fail; And were not these two jeopardous places indeed, There is many a merchant that thither would speed: But yet we have a sure channel at Westminster, A thousand ships of thieves therein may ride sure; For if they may have anchor-hold and great spending, They may live as merry as any king.

PERSEVERANCE.

G.o.d wot, sir, there is a piteous living, Then ye dread not the great Master above: Son, forsake thy miss[158] for His love, And then mayst thou come to the bliss also.

FREEWILL.

Why, what would you that I should do?

CONTEMPLATION.