A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Xiv Part 78

LADY. They come, they come, they come!

ALL. Let's entertain them with a joint neglect.

SCENE IV.

_As their husbands pa.s.s along, they take occasion of discourse one with another._

KNIGHTS. Let us pa.s.s by them with regardless scorn.

SIR REU. Pox on these overacting prost.i.tutes!

They sate mine appet.i.te.

[_They interchange these expresses as they pa.s.s by their Ladies' room._

SIR TRIS. Fancy so fed Begets a surfeit, ere it gets to bed.

SIR GRE. Ere I Platonic turn or Confidant, Or an officious servant to a puss, Whose honour lies at stake, let me become A scorn to my relations.

SIR ART. Or when I Engage my person, like a profess'd bolt, To vindicate a mistress, who for sale Would set her soul at hazard, may my grave Be in the kennel, and the scavenger The penman of my epitaph!

SIR JAS. Or I Embrace a monkey for a ma.s.s of treasure.

SIR AMA. May never down seize on this downless chin, When I become an usher to her sin.

SIR REU. So, let them chaw of this. Our scene is done, We'll leave the rest to their digestion: We must return those Adamites their clothes To make their visits in, or they're lost men; But it were strange, should they recruit again.

[_Exeunt._

SCENE V.

FRI. How is it, ladies?

CAV. Sure, we're in a dream.

Whence comes this strangeness?

JUL. From the too much freedom Of our affection: had we kept them still, At a discreeter distance, we had play'd The wiser falc'ners, and caus'd them stoop Unto our lure with eager appet.i.te.

Fruits offer'd are least valu'd: got by stealth Or by surprise, they're precious.

JOC. Shall we sleep With this affront?

MED. Our spirits were remiss, Should we not pay them home in their own coin.

TIN. Let Tinder lose her name, her family, And alimony (which she values most), If Tilly suffer not for this disgrace.

ALL. We vow the like: revenge may be excus'd, For love resolves to hate when 'tis abus'd.

[_Exeunt._

SCENE VI.

_The Favourites appear to their half-bodies in their shirts, in rooms above._

FLO. Why, you wh.o.r.eson rogue! where's my suit? As I hope for mercy, I am half-persuaded that this slip-halter has p.a.w.ned my clothes.

CAR. Nay, as our rooms be near, our fates are all alike. If my visit be admitted, I must present it naked.

JOC. When she sees her Salibrand so unmodiously accoutred, she will jeer him out of his periwig, and render him an Adamite cap-a-pie.

PAL. Never were servants without a dress less suitable to ladies of the New Dress.

SAL. We shall be held for salemen, or Knights of the White Livery, if we encounter them thus habited.

MOR. Nay, rather for Knights o' th' Post, who had forfeited their broked suits for want of swearing.

TIL. Nay, for tumblers, truckers, or scullermen: Plato, in all his Commonweal, had never such naked followers.

[_Their pages bring their clothes._

FLO. Now, you hemp-strings, had you no time to nim us, but when we were upon our visits?

PAGES. Your suits, sir, were not without employment. They were seam-rent, and stood in need of st.i.tching.

ALL. Go to, rogues, you will never hang well together till you be st.i.tched in a halter.

[_They attire themselves._

PAGES. Well, we got more clear gains by this shift than you will by your visit.

[_Aside._

CAR. We trench too much upon these ladies' patience: Better too late than never; let us haste To crown their longing hopes with our attendance: Delays in visits quicken our desires, And in their objects kindle secret fires.

[_They come down b.u.t.toning themselves._

[Sidenote: _Fastus in Antidotum frigoris, processit et urget Insolitos motus, lepidaeque Cupidinis aestus, Vestibus amictus laceratis, alget et ardet._--Solin.]

FLO. 'Tis high meridian! we've lost the time Of our appointed treatment.[169]

CAR. Let's contrive Some neat evasion covertly disguis'd To bear the face of truth.

SAL. It would do well, Let's mould it as we go unto the garden.[170]

MOR. 'Twere vain to call; they're long ere this dismiss'd.[171]

PAL. And with incens'd spirits; which t' allay Were a receipt worth purchase.