A Moral Alphabet Part 3

stands for Pig, as I remarked before, A second cousin to the Huge Wild Boar.

But Pigs are civilized, while Huge Wild Boars

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Live savagely, at random, out of doors, And, in their coa.r.s.e contempt for dainty foods, Subsist on Truffles, which they find in woods.

Not so the cultivated Pig, who feels The need of several courses at his meals, But wrongly thinks it does not matter whether He takes them one by one

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or all together.

Hence, Pigs devour, from lack of self-respect, What Epicures would certainly reject.

MORAL.

Learn from the Pig to take whatever Fate Or Elder Persons heap upon your plate.

Q

for Quinine, which children take

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With Jam and little bits of cake.

MORAL.

How idiotic! Can Quinine Replace Cold Baths and Sound Hygiene?

R

the Reviewer,

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reviewing my book, At which he had barely intended to look; But the very first lines upon "A" were enough To convince him the _Verses_ were excellent stuff.

So he wrote, without stopping, for several days In terms of extreme, but well-merited Praise.

To quote but one Pa.s.sage: "No Person" (says he), "Will be really content without purchasing three, "While a Parent will send for a dozen or more, "And strew them about on the Nursery Floor.

"The Versification might call for some strictures "Were it not for its singular wit; while the Pictures, "Tho' the handling of line is a little defective, "Make up amply in _verve_ what they lack in perspective."

MORAL.

The habit of constantly telling the Truth Will lend an additional l.u.s.tre to Youth.

S

stands for Snail, who, though he be the least, Is not an uninstructive Horned Beast.

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His eyes are on his Horns, and when you shout Or tickle them, the Horns go in and out.

Had Providence seen proper to endow The furious Unicorn or sober Cow With such a gift the one would never now Appear so commonplace on Coats of Arms.

And what a fortune for our failing farms If circus managers, with wealth untold, Would take the Cows for half their weight in gold!

MORAL.

Learn from the Snail to take reproof with patience, And not put out your Horns on all occasions.

T

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for the Genial Tourist, who resides In Peckham, where he writes Italian Guides.

MORAL.

Learn from this information not to cavil At slight mistakes in books on foreign travel.

U

for the Upas Tree,

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that casts a blight On those that pull their sisters' hair, and fight.

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But oh! the Good! They wander undismayed, And (as the Subtle Artist has portrayed) Dispend the golden hours at play beneath its shade.[B]

MORAL.

Dear Reader, if you chance to catch a sight Of Upas Trees, betake yourself to flight.

[B]

A friend of mine, a Botanist, believes That Good can even browse upon its leaves.