A Match Made in Heaven Chapter 34

Soon, it was the end of the year. When the first snow fell on the Imperial Mausoleum, Lord Zhao's new play was also half finished. It was said that this new story was based on the emotional journey of the General and Miss Xin, specially added with Zhao Shiclan name¹ unique sentiment and sense of perception. It could even be called Lord Zhao's most proud cla.s.sic works.

The General even made the knife himself and two brand-new dolls, with one named Qiao and the other named Mei, especially made for the hero and heroine of the play. After reading the pa.s.sbook, Miss Xin cried all day and night and named it 'Unhappy Couple Made In Heaven' . She also left a valuable comment: what a sheer nonsense.

It was the 13ᵗʰ day of the 12ᵗʰ lunar month when it snowed heavily.

The stage was set up early under the command of Lord Zhao. A group of small monsters under the stage had already occupied good positions and were looking forward to the final cla.s.sic play at the end of the year.

Xin Mei took advantage of her privileged position and chose the top and middle positions.

A Hand Stove or Hand Warmer
Image Source

Before the play began, she methodically pulled things out from her Gankunlit. universe, in this context mean another universe²'s bag for preparation — a thick stack of handkerchiefs to wipe away her tears; another thick stack of handkerchiefs, for Lord Zhao to sign; hand stove, used to warm her hands; melon seeds, for her to eat…

Nice drawing!
Image Source

In the blink of an eye, Lu Qianqiao who sat beside her, could no longer hold anything with his two hands. Xin Mei sighed with emotion as she set aside the pile of stuff in her arms. She found a more comfortable position and put her head under his arm. Very good, really good.

In the face of her seizing every opportunity kind of characteristic, Lu Qianqiao was very calm and had already accustomed to it. He put the pile of baffling things aside on the chair. Then he opened the cloak and wrapped her up. Lastly, he covered her with his arms.

“Is it cold?”

He looked down at her short coat, which was not too thick, and there was a white round short-hair pelt hanging from the coat collar, with matching hairpins in her hair, she looked more like a white rabbit. 

“Shh, don't talk, it's starting!” Xin Mei covered his mouth.

A row of lanterns lit silently on the stage, reflecting a warm reddish-orange colour onto the acc.u.mulated snow in the night. With that picturesque features, graceful Little Mei was the first to appear on the stage.

Off the stage, the little monsters started to buzz as they all looked at Xin Mei's side. Obviously, the doll was much more beautiful than her. Just like what people said, in a lover's eyes, a girl would always look beautiful. In the General's eyes, Miss Xin was like a fairy maiden.

Little Mei, who was going to turn 16, was an unrestrained and willful girl. Although she was incomparable in beauty, no one dare to propose to her because she was rumored to be a jinx to her own husband. Her family was very broken-hearted about her marriage. In desperation, she decided to go out and buy a ‘husband' herself which led to a magical and tortuous journey in her life.

Since then, she met many people, including enchanting charming Fox Fairy and cowardly good-for-nothing Immortal. Finally, she met the nemesis of her life, Qian Qiao, the General of Flying Calvary. At first sight, the two people were like thunder had set fires on them. On the first day they saw each other, it gave birth to the feeling of affection between them which went out of control. On the second day they met, they had debauchery as they became smitten with each other till it was hard for them to part. (Xin Mei's comment : This debauchery definitely arises from their feelings. )

Although the two loved each other, the General had to face the disaster of transformation and he was likely to die. So after a few moments of debauchery, he suddenly realised that this wouldn't be able to continue. In order not to delay Little Mei's life, he debauched her one last time, and then, he silently left his beloved girl. As , the General went away and never returned. (Lu Qianqiao's comment : Who is this sc.u.m? I'll ask Silan to burn up the play book later.)

After the General's departure, Xiao Mei had her face bathed in tears day and night. She was filled with grief as to wish she was deadChinese idiom : overwhelmed with grief³. During this time, the Fox Fairy and the good-for-nothing Immortal tried to comfort her, one after another. At the same time, they even took advantage of her vulnerable times to force her for affection. Although Little Mei was taken by forced, she still had the General in her heart. After experiencing an ambiguous wet relationship with the Fox Fairy and numerous forced attempts by the good-for-nothing Immortal, Xiao Mei made up her mind to leave with sorrow. (Xin Mei : They are all older than my grandfather! )

Who would have thought when the willow trees made shadeChinese idiom : at one's darkest hour, a glimmer of hope⁴ in another village, even after the General had long left Little Mei, every night in his heart, there would be green sea, blue skyChinese idiom : loneliness of faithful widow⁵ as he could not forget Little Mei's goodness. After learning of her entanglement with the other two immortals, he flew into a rage and debauched her again. After all their debauchery, their feelings broke out and they realised that they loathed to partChinese idiom : emotionally close and unwilling to separate⁶ with each other. (Lu Qianqiao : Why I'm always the one who did debauchery…)

Their sweet moments didn't last long. The General's transformation came and he lost five senses which turned him into a living corpse. The General's mother sent him to the battlefield for family glory, trying to make him gained a good reputation after his death. In the dangerous battlefield, the General suddenly woke up and brandished long knives in every direction to kill everyone —

Lord Zhao shouted from behind the backstage, “Quick! Where is the prepared chicken bloods? Hurriedly pour it out! Sound and lighting effects! Sound and lighting effects!“

As the General waved his shiny long knife on the stage, scarlet chicken bloods were also poured all over the stage, so the smell reeked of blood wafted around. Monsters that had keen of smell one after another started to frown and then they automatically covered their noses.

Plum Flower Sweet Cakes
These are made from charcoals that usually used in hand stove as their main ingredient. When these cakes are put inside a hand stove, they will emit a sweet smell.
Image Credit via Sohu

Xin Mei took out a plum flower sweet cake from inside the collar on her chest, put it in her hand stove then she moved it to the front of her nose, when she suddenly felt that Lu Qianqao's arm that was holding her shoulder gradually tightened. She looked up in disbelief and saw his blank face. He was motionless as he stared closely at the scarlet blood on the stage.

She lifted her hand stove to his nose, and he looked down at her with astonishment.

“So you can't smell it.” She smiled with her warm palm resting on his cold cheek.

He put his hand behind her back and held her. He then wrapped the cloak tighter, while looking at the loud crying scene on the stage. He thought for a moment and then asked, “That day…was it the same as this?”

He knew that he had killed many people in Jiaping Mountain Pa.s.s that day, but he did not know about it until later. When he was awakened, he was completely unconscious and had no memory of it.

“Much worse than this.” Xin Mei spit out two pieces of melon seed sh.e.l.ls. “There were also cut off hands, cut off feet, internal organs and so on…”

“Xin Mei…” He sighed helplessly, “Shut up.”

The General on the stage was showing his might after the destructive power of the war demon broke out, and he howl like a wild beast. He killed Alan, his loyal subordinate who came to dissuade him...(another pot of chicken blood was poured out), and he was also preparing to kill other innocent people beside him. At this critical moment, Little Mei appeared.

She rushed up to stop him by hugging the General tightly, calling out his name with deep feeling and choked with sob till her voice was hoa.r.s.e. The General's violent action gradually calmed down and he finally regained his sanity. The two embraced and kissed in a full view of the public, showing their deep love.

“Lu Qianqiao, if I had held you like that at that time, would you awake?”

Although the play was really fake, Xin Mei was still moved by it till her eyes brimmed with tears. At the moment, she had completely regarded the play as someone else's story.

“You'd better not think about doing such a foolish thing.” Lu Qianqiao frowned.

She took a sniff and smiled smugly, “So…it was still  the most useful to just hit you with a stone.”

……No wonder when he woke up that day, he could feel the back of his head hurt badly. He thought Li Min or some other people had stunned him. As it turned out, it was her who hit him with a stone.

The truth finally came to light.

So, he pinched her cheeks.

The General had successfully pa.s.sed the transformation and gained all the strength of the war demon. From that moment, he had the n.o.blest and purest blood in his clan. The General's mother asked him to continue his pure blood by choosing a n.o.ble woman from the War Demon Clan to be his bride. Little Mei thought the General would flatly refuse. Unexpectedly, he agreed to it.

【 Why? Didn't you say you would marry me and love me till the end of the world? 】 Little Mae wept silently.

【 I can't remember the past clearly. If I really do love you like crazy, it will be impossible for me to forget. My feelings for you was for the past me, and I guess that's all it was. 】 The General answered calmly.

【 You…you really has a ruthless heart! 】

【 I'm sorry to have hold you up for so long. 】

【 You will regret this! I will make you live in regret for the rest of your life till you never get up again! 】

Little Mei ran away, and the lanterns on the stage went out one by one. Lord Zhao cleared his throat and said in the softest voice, “Why did the General change his temperament overnight? Where will Little Mei go? How will the relationship between the two end? Please wait for the next part of ‘Unhappy Couple Made In Heaven'. Wonderful scenes are still up to come!“

The audience was crying. Xin Mei blew her nose and shook her sleeve, “Lu Qianqiao, you won't marry a n.o.ble girl from the War Demon Clan and then abandon me, would you?”

……His head hurt so much. He would ask Silan to roast some rat meat tonight.

At the end of the play, many monsters of the Imperial Mausoleum left with tears and sighs. Xin Mei put her things back into her Gankun bag one by one. She was about to get up when she saw a flash of lanterns lights and two more lamps were lit on the stage. Little Mei and Qian Qiao were still on the platform, with one sitting, then reclining while the other one was dancing in the snow.

【 Qian Qiao, you always make me wait, so I won't wait for you this time. 】

Many dolls appeared behind him. The cold light of a knife flickered as it stabbed into his heart.

【 This time you will be the one who will wait for me, on the lit. Yellow Springs⁷ Road, by the side of lit. unable to do anything with⁸ Bridge. 】

As the knife with its light stroke down, blood splattered, and fell on the feet of the two audiences. The lanterns blink out again and the stage turned into darkness.

Lord Zhao poked out his head from the backstage. His beard squirmed as he gloated, “How was it, General, Miss? This is a special ending for you two! I love it when one of you die! Are you touched?“

Xin Mei threw a huge s...o...b..ll at him which hit him on the nose, “How can I be touched!”

Lord Zhao covered his nose as he rolled all over the floor. Xin Mei was busy looking for medicine, to make amends to him, while Lu Qianqao…he was wiping the bloodstains on his feet over the snow, then he turned and walked away.

The smell of blood was too strong. He must wash off the smell quickly…

After putting some medicines on Lord Zhao's poor nose, Xin Mei turned her head and found out that Liu Qianqiao had been missing. She ran back quickly. As soon as she entered the courtyard, she saw a cloak lying on the ground, the one that he had just worn.

A few more steps forward, it was his coat. As she kept walking forward, a pair of shoes fell by the door.

Xin Mei pushed open the door and turned into the bedroom. No one was there. She then turned to the side public bath, then she saw clothes thrown all over the floor. Liu Qianqiao whole body was buried in the steaming water, motionless.

The steam was filled with the sweet smell of Osmanthus, which was the essence she used to bathe everyday. She did not know how much he sprinkled in the water, that the fragrance almost choked her.

“Lu Qianqiao, what's wrong with you?” She leaned over the pool and asked cautiously.

He slowly emerged from the water, and drops of water trickled down his handsome outline. When he turned around, he suddenly grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her in. Xin Mei let out a cry and fell into the pool, just like a drowning cat lose its head out of fearChinese idiom : panicked⁹, she immediately tried to get up, but the next moment she was hugged by him tightly.

“You… “

Her words were blocked back by hot lips.

He was giving her a fierce kiss.

Noob Translator's Musing

I feel sorry for Meishan. He was called as good-for-nothing Immortal in the play made by Lord Zhao. Did Lord Zhao have  a problem with Meishan or because LQQ doesn't really like Meishan?  This part 'the chilly wind was howling and the water of River Yi was cold' is actually a lyric from an ancient Chinese song called Farewell by Yi River. For the full lyrics of the song, you can go visit , and you can also read the from the same site. 

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