A Heart Revealed Part 15

Amber inspected the dress again, amazed at how lovely it looked. She had used one of her own dresses as a pattern, adjusting it for Suzanne's larger frame and the formality of the event by adding puff sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. Certainly she knew it was not nearly as fine as one an actual dressmaker could create, but she felt proud of the result. She had feared it would be hideous.

Every cut of the shears and st.i.tch of the needle had filled Amber with dread, but having been fitted for dresses all her life, and learning the "accomplishment" of embroidery considered suitable for women of the ton had created more ability than she had expected.

Suzanne had tried on the different pieces a dozen times as Amber attempted to fit them to her just right, but tonight was the first time Suzanne had put on the completed dress.

"I have something else for you," Amber said, then hurried behind one of the heavy bookshelves and returned with a reticule and a hat, both sewn from sc.r.a.ps of the fabric. She'd taken the Swedish lace from one of her morning dresses unsuitable for cottage life and made an edge on the hat that set it off to even further distinction. Amber had embroidered an elaborate design on the bag, working late at night in her room so as to hide it from Suzanne's notice.

Suzanne's eyes went wide as she took the items and turned them in her hand. "They are beautiful." She smiled like a schoolgirl and ran upstairs to look at her reflection in the looking gla.s.s. "I shall be the belle of the ball in this," Suzanne called from the top of the stairs, quite improperly.

It felt good to make something useful, but even better, Amber felt as though she had in some way begun to repay a debt to her friend. She wondered how Mr. La.r.s.en would react to Suzanne in that dress and smiled at the expectation that he would be well pleased with it. For an instant she imagined that she were wearing such a dress and attending a ball. Perhaps Mr. Richards would ask her to dance. She entertained the idea for only a moment before brushing it away. Dances and b.a.l.l.s were a lifetime ago. Mr. Richards was simply a kind man-one of the few she'd met since relocating to Step Cottage-and his kindness had given him the status of the hero in all her girlish fantasies.

"I shall serve supper while you change," Amber called. It was only four o'clock, but as they tended to rise with the sun and sleep by the moon, it was sensible to prepare dinner when it was still full light outside. Today was storming, however, and they had been forced to burn candles during the day.

Suzanne returned a few minutes later, dressed in a gray working dress that further emphasized the advantage the rose-colored dress gave to her. "I folded the dress and packed it along with the reticule, stays, and hat in the small trunk. You're sure you don't mind my taking it with me?"

"What use have I for it?" Amber said without feeling the level of regret she once had. The finer things in her possession were quite useless in her present circ.u.mstance, and she was glad they would benefit Suzanne. She glanced to the window, streaked with rain. "I do hope the storm lifts before tomorrow, though. Even the hood of the gig won't protect you from such elements as this."

"I shall go rain or shine," Suzanne said and smiled again, which, as always, made Amber smile too. For two women so opposed to their situation in the beginning, they had come to find a level of joy that surprised them both.

Amber served roasted potatoes with a bit of mustard powder and dried thyme, some ham from the smokehouse, and yesterday's leftover soda bread. In the beginning, Amber had been unable to entertain the idea of a meal without meat, and they had gone through their winter stores faster than they should have. She was now accustomed to vegetable stews and meatless pies, but as Suzanne was going to town, Amber wanted to serve a fancier meal than usual. Mrs. Haribow had only come three times since November due to the condition of the roads. They missed her cooking, but it had challenged Amber to better hone her own skills.

All things considered, life had become quite comfortable at Step Cottage. Amber was less inclined to pine for the life she had had; in fact it seemed like a story in a book when she thought back to it. Had she truly stayed out until three or four o'clock in the morning simply to gossip and flirt? In Yorkshire she never went outside after dark and, according to the clock in the library, no longer stayed up past ten o'clock.

Had she worn very fine dresses only once before refusing to be seen in them again? At Step Cottage she had three dresses for winter-all of them plain, comfortable, and practical-that she interchanged from day to day. No one saw her in them but Suzanne.

Had she sat at her dressing table for hours in order to have her long, thick hair perfectly arranged? That was perhaps the memory that felt most like fantasy. Her head was so smooth she could scarcely remember what it looked like before. She'd moved the looking gla.s.s from her room to Suzanne's and in its absence she become all but unaware of her appearance. Quite a change from the girl she had been before.

"Shall we play loo before bed?" Suzanne asked after they sc.r.a.ped their bowls clean and wrapped up the remaining soda bread.

Amber had begun teaching Suzanne how to play cards when they'd run out of other evening entertainments and Suzanne was not in the mood to read. Teaching her loo had reminded Amber of an evening in London when she had pretended not to know the game so as to beg help from the gentlemen at the table. It was embarra.s.sing to recall the ways in which she manipulated the people around her.

What a fool she'd been to ignore the chance to truly get to know someone. What she wouldn't give for the chance to try again. This time, she would try to learn about the inner workings of a man rather than weighing and measuring him against her expectations. Perhaps if she had done so the first time, she could have found a kind man willing to overlook her condition. Until the end, however, kindness had not been a consideration. And now, when she wished for another chance, it was not to be.

She thought of the coat hanging in her wardrobe at the London house. Surely the man who had helped her that night would have been worthwhile to know, and yet Amber did not think she had bothered to even meet him. How shallow she had been to have ignored someone of quality. She wondered what had become of him. And Lord Norwin too-had he married the girl of his fancy?

"Amber? Shall we play loo?"

Amber shook herself out of her thoughts and smiled. "If you don't mind, I think I should like to read for a bit. I have almost finished another volume of the Roman history. They were far more advanced than I ever realized before. When I finish, I believe I shall go to Shakespeare's histories. I've always avoided them, you know, but now that we have read some of his other works I wonder what I might have missed."

Suzanne tsked her tongue and shook her head while giving Amber a playful look. "You have turned into quite a bluestocking. I hope you shall not spout off about the barbaric nature of Ancient Rome again. I can a.s.sure you it is lost on me."

"As it was on me when I was first taught it as a girl," Amber said, shaking her head. There was so much she had relearned now that she cared enough to be attentive to the information. "To think they threw men together in a ring and had them fight to the death, often tearing one another limb by limb to the delight of the crowd. Deplorable." She looked sideways at her friend. "I daresay our current society is not so different in some respects of cla.s.s and distinction."

How often had she been one of the observers, watching someone's reputation be stripped through an oversight of etiquette or dismissing someone due to poor connections. She had never once considered that she would one day find herself in the arena.

Chapter 34.

Suzanne left for town the next morning, the rain falling steadily but the road not too muddy yet. Amber had wanted to talk her out of taking the trip in such weather, but knew how excited Suzanne was for the Winter Ball and so she held her tongue and offered a dozen prayers that her friend would make it to town and return tomorrow, safely. As always, she hated to be alone at the cottage and began counting the hours before she could expect Suzanne's return.

It was a quiet evening which allowed Amber time to finish the Roman history and begin reading Richard II. She was in bed early and awake with the winter sun. That the sky was clear enough to show the sun improved her mood, and she quickly moved through the morning ch.o.r.es before putting on a stew to cook for supper. She kept an ear for the road and the wheels of the gig, but the afternoon dragged on and Suzanne still had not come home.

Bored and feeling anxious, Amber tried to read, but put the book aside when she could not focus on it. Richard II was rather tedious, but she was determined to give it her best effort.

She went out to the front porch, frowning at the sun that would set in two hours' time. Where was Suzanne? The weather would not have prevented her return. Had Mr. La.r.s.en declared his intentions? Could Suzanne even now be trying to craft an explanation to Amber about her changing future? The thought seized Amber's chest in a cold grip. If Suzanne left and her parents did not allow her to return to Hampton Grove, what would become of her?

More eager than ever for a distraction, Amber began walking through the cottage, sweeping out this corner, oiling that windowsill until it gleamed. She arranged the foyer area with the hat tree on the left, then on the right, then back on the left again before centering it in front of the small window on the east wall. She rearranged some of the books in the library, moving Shakespeare higher so as to accommodate the entire collection in the center portion of the bookshelf where it was more of a focal point. It was when she turned away from that task that her eyes landed on the limp curtains hanging on either side of the window above the desk.

The brown fabric was threadbare and coa.r.s.e enough to appear like burlap-until she pulled the fabric out to straighten the creases and realized it had been burgundy in color. Amber rubbed the fabric between her fingers. She had sewn shifts and ap.r.o.ns and, now, a dress. Could she not create curtains that would cheer this room? There were so many dark and heavy items in the cottage that a splash of green, or even yellow, would certainly lift the overall mood.

She spent half an hour going through the excess linens stored upstairs-none of which matched the idea she had for the curtains-and then looked through her own dresses that she had brought from London. There were three gowns she had not worn even once at the cottage, not wanting to soil them, and although she doubted her need to keep them-when would she ever need such fine clothes again?-she did not want to destroy them.

The four gowns she had worn until having the winter dresses made were stained and quite ruined, unless you were a cook and a cleaner. Which she was. Because they were still serviceable and spring would be arriving some time-she hoped-she did not want to destroy them either. But that left her without fabric for the project that had captured her attention and distracted her from her growing worry about Suzanne's return.

It was then she remembered the trunks that had at one time been in Suzanne's bedchamber. At the time Mr. Dariloo had come and moved them to the servant's quarters, Amber and Suzanne had talked of going through them at some later date. Yet, they hadn't. Instead Suzanne had learned to read quite well and play loo. Perhaps it was time to examine the contents of the trunks. Perhaps there would be some garment that would prove acceptable as curtains and thus spare Amber's own dresses.

With that goal in mind, Amber was skipping down the stairs when the front door opened. She froze, put her hand on her cap-covered head, and turned to run back up the stairs, her heart in her throat and her lungs refusing to fill with air.

"Amber?"

At the sound of Suzanne's voice, Amber relaxed, but she still peered around the edge of the frame to make sure Suzanne was alone. Suzanne had always come in through the kitchen on prior trips to town. Why had she come through the front? Was she alone?

When the door shut behind Suzanne, Amber dared come around the corner. "You scared me near to death." Amber took in the maid's disheveled appearance and tired expression and hurried to the bottom of the stairs. "Suzanne, are you all right?"

Suzanne looked at the floor and tried to hide the mud on her boots and the hem of her dress. "The gig slid off the road two miles from town. I had to walk back and ask Mr. La.r.s.en for his help. He freed the gig, but it took some time and . . . the left wheel was broken." She looked up. "I'm so sorry, Miss. I don't know how it happened."

"It is of no trouble," Amber said. "But are you hurt? How did you return?"

"I rode Sally back after Mr. La.r.s.en loaned me a saddle and said he would look after the gig. I feel like such a dunce."

Amber shook her head at Suzanne's self-recrimination. "We knew we were taking a risk having you drive to town before the roads firmed up. It will all turn out, but let's get you into the kitchen and warm you up. I'll see about heating some water for a bath. You must be half frozen."

"Thank you," Suzanne said, showing the level of her fatigue as she let out a breath. "I had to leave my purchases in town, as well as your traveling trunk-I'm sorry."

"It's no mind at all," Amber said, ushering Suzanne into the kitchen. Dried mud fell from her hem to the floor; Amber would have to sweep up later. "Stop apologizing."

She pulled one of the stools from the table closer to the fire and set Suzanne upon it. Suzanne leaned forward, soaking up the warmth and seeming to relax. Amber put a pot of water on to boil for tea, then a larger one to heat for a bath, added more coal to get a better blaze, and then led Sally the rest of the way to the stable, where she combed her out and treated her to a full bucket of grain.

By the time Amber returned to the kitchen, Suzanne had poured her own tea and the larger pot was heated. She poured the hot water into the tub, filled the pot again before putting it on to boil, and set the screen around the tub.

"I'll not having you attending to me," Suzanne said when Amber attempted to help her out of her dress. "It isn't right."

"Don't be a goose," Amber said, pushing Suzanne's hands away. "You're only making it harder."

It was nearly an hour before Suzanne was warm and clean and had fully given up her fight. Amber found the reversing role rather humorous, mostly because it so discomfited her maid, and she therefore took extra measures for Suzanne's comfort. When Suzanne was dressed in fresh clothing, Amber attempted to take the tub out of the kitchen but found it far too heavy. Suzanne had been the one to attend to bathing previously, and Amber had not once considered how it was done and was lost as to how to complete the task.

"You have to empty it in portions, just as you filled it," Suzanne said as she jumped to her feet. "I shall do it."

"You shall not," Amber said, fixing her with a hard look. "After all the effort it took to get you dry, I shan't risk starting all over because you soak yourself with bathwater." She took the pot and removed a portion of water, dumping it out the back door. Once she'd removed enough water for the tub to be moved, she took the tub to the yard and finished emptying it.

"Now, what do we do with your clothing?" Amber said, eyeing the pile of sodden and muddy fabric. "Perhaps I shall hang it to dry until it can go to the washerwoman in town."

"I shall hang it," Suzanne said, rising to her feet again.

"You will not!" Amber retorted, quickly gathering the soiled fabric and hurrying into the yard. If it did not rain, the articles could dry outside, which seemed a far better course than hanging them on the line that stretched across the kitchen. The sun had been down for some time, and she shivered in the cold. Maybe a little rain would help clean the wretched things.

She was in the process of shaking out Suzanne's coat when she heard the crinkle of paper from one of the pockets. Of course-Suzanne had retrieved the post while in town, but as she had said she'd left her parcels behind in the gig, Amber hadn't thought to ask after any letters.

With eager hands Amber retrieved a letter addressed to Mrs. Chandler, the name written in an unfamiliar hand. She set it aside, then checked the rest of Suzanne's pockets before returning inside.

"Was this in the post?" Amber asked, closing the door behind her and trying not to sigh in relief at the kitchen's warmth.

Suzanne looked over her shoulder. "It's from Mr. Richards. I meant to tell you of it as soon as I came in."

Suddenly eager, Amber broke the seal and unfolded the letter.

Dear Mrs. Chandler, Thank you for your kind letter. I simply did what any other gentleman would do, but I am glad it added to your comfort for Mrs. Miller to be returned. I hope it is not too forward of me, but in your letter you said that if there was some way to repay the kindness you would be obliging. In the process of searching your library for the record I found last November, I noticed that you had a volume of John Donne's early poetry. I am a great lover of his work and wondered if I might borrow the book and copy from it a few of his more poignant verses. I promise to take great care of it and return it quickly.

If this is acceptable, I should like to come Tuesday next, a.s.suming the roads are clear, and promise not to bother you for long. There is no need to prepare anything on my behalf, I shall only retrieve the book and be on my way.

Sincerely, Thomas Richards Amber read the words through twice, quite forgetting that Suzanne was awaiting a report until she turned back to the fire and saw the woman standing there. "My apologies," Amber said. "He would like to come on Tuesday and borrow a book."

"Would he now?" Suzanne said with a grin.

"Apparently there is a rare book of poetry in the library." Her stomach fluttered. "Do you object to his visit?"

After a slight pause, Suzanne shook her head. "Not at all. Mr. La.r.s.en is coming for Sally and myself on Sunday in the vicar's carriage so I may attend church. I can return with the gig on Monday. Tuesday is acceptable."

Amber smiled, relieved, and gave into her building excitement. "Is it not rather invigorating to have someone in the cottage?" she said. "It is as though it brings new air into the very rooms, does it not?"

Suzanne simply inclined her head. She must not feel the same invigoration Amber did, but then, Suzanne interacted with townspeople on a regular basis. For Amber a possible visit from Mr. Richards was new and exciting, even though she knew she should be uncomfortable and anxious. Her jumbled feelings only underscored how strange her life had become. She had not interacted with Mr. Richards at all, but still, she had enjoyed his previous visit and had spent a great deal of time thinking of him and wondering about him. She liked very much that he felt welcome here. In fact, she realized, she was eager to have him come.

The idea of his visit gave Amber a fresh burst of energy as she went about the evening, seeing to Suzanne's needs and finishing supper. Eventually she remembered the idea for her curtains-she would so very much like to have the new ones in place before Mr. Richards's visit.

"We said we would sort through those trunks one day," Amber said to Suzanne, "but we never have. Perhaps we could bring in one trunk at a time and sort it in the parlor. With both of us exerting ourselves on either end it shouldn't be too difficult. It shall be like buried treasure!" She headed toward the sideboard to put away the dishes, then turned back to put a hand on Suzanne's arm. "And you must help me come up with another cake! We cannot possibly serve him the same variety on Tuesday as we did the last time he came."

Chapter 35.

As with many things, the proposition of removing the four trunks, a wooden crate, and a lidded basket from the servant's room to the parlor the next morning was far easier than the action it required. It did, in fact, take nearly an hour for the two women to complete the task. The furniture in the parlor was pushed to the walls, and they lit some coal in the grate they had not used all winter. They spent the majority of their time in the kitchen or library, which was why the parlor was the best choice for the project that was becoming more and more exciting to Amber. In the parlor, the trappings of the trunks would not get in the way of their daily activity.

After they had lunched on cold beef sandwiches and apple cake, Suzanne expressed her concerns about completing the other ch.o.r.es around the cottage since she had been gone two days and would be leaving again tomorrow when Mr. La.r.s.en came for her.

"I can delay the sorting," Amber said, hiding her disappointment. She wanted to see what those trunks held, but she also wanted Suzanne's company. "I shall have time enough after you go to town."

"You are more invested in the contents of those trunks than I shall ever be," Suzanne proclaimed. "I am quite content to do our shared tasks before we go."

She wrapped a shawl about her shoulders, crossing the ends over her chest and then tucking them into her ap.r.o.n band so as to free her hands as she went about her work. She tied on a rather worn bonnet against the chill wind that had picked up overnight and then pulled on a set of Amber's leather gloves. They were too fine for stable work but as Amber had no other use for them, they served well enough.

Amber made Suzanne promise to fetch her if she needed help, then removed to the parlor where she was indeed eager to explore the trunks. She hoped to find fabric suitable for curtains, but she also wondered if perhaps the trunks belonged to a former occupant of the cottage. Who had lived in Step Cottage prior to Amber and Suzanne's arrival?

Surely Mr. Dariloo could answer such questions should Amber have asked, but it had not occurred to her to do so until her mind had been turned to the trunks yesterday. She could hardly contain the intrigue of such a mystery.

Amber settled her attention on the largest trunk first and flipped the clasps, pressing the locks until she was able to pull the lid back with a great creaking. The packing paper had yellowed enough to testify that it had been some time since the trunks had been opened.

She moved the paper aside carefully, and then removed perhaps the most ridiculous hat she had ever seen. It was a large frothy looking thing so heavily adorned with ribbons and feathers-all of which were badly damaged from the storage-that Amber laughed out loud imagining someone attempting to balance such a creation upon one's head. It was outdated and crisp with age. She set it aside and removed two other equally horrific pieces before moving aside another layer of paper to reveal what she thought was a costume of some sort.

Amber stood and pulled from the trunk a heavy brocade dress of dark red, with b.u.t.tons of paste diamonds and eight inches of lace at the cuffs. The waist was low to the hip, the cut severe and the skirt billowing enough to accommodate hoops, no doubt. Her mother had worn similar gowns during her season more than twenty years ago, which at least gave Amber an idea of the age for the woman who may have owned this dress.

There was surely enough fabric in the large skirt to accommodate library curtains and the color would complement the room very well. She would feel bad cutting up such a remarkable-though completely unwearable-garment, however.

She laid the heavy dress across a chair before continuing on her pursuits, which resulted in three more equally elaborate and, in the case of two of them, quite hideous gowns. A green velvet thing with flounces and ruffles and a section that moths had gone to work on replaced the brocade for curtain consideration; the green would better suit the surroundings, Amber thought, and she would not be destroying a dress that was not already damaged.

Below the dresses was more paper and then eight pairs of shoes, including a very nice pair of cla.s.sic white satin slippers she would insist Suzanne try on. They would serve her well at the next Wednesday night ball. A pair of half boots were also of value due to their solid construction, so long as the wearer could bear boots the color of daffodils.

At the very bottom of the trunk Amber found what looked like an invitation, but turned out to be a dance card for an event t.i.tled EverSpring Soiree. She opened it to find that every line was filled, though only a few bore legible names. Amber wondered why a woman of such attention would have removed to Step Cottage at all. Had this woman lived here alone?

The thought stilled her for a moment and her eyes darted to the elaborate dresses now draped around the room. Had Amber not dressed in the finest of fashions and danced every dance at any number of events in London not even a year ago? Though her ball gowns had not been sent with her from London, would it have been such a surprise if they had ended up in storage just as this?

It was with quicker movement and less attentiveness to style and quality that Amber opened the next trunk and sorted its contents: clothing more appropriate for everyday use, the styles of some more modern than others but still outdated. There were shawls and a great variety of mobcaps, the sheer number of which quickened Amber's eagerness even more.

At the bottom of the trunk, amid a few pairs of practical shoes, Amber found something that quite caught her breath. With a trembling hand, she removed a knitted cap of yellowed yarn not so discolored as to have been in the trunk for long.

Prior to her time in the cottage, Amber had only ever seen such caps for very small infants, but she was now quite familiar with the pattern. She pulled the knitted cap she wore day and night from her own head, then held it side by side with the one she'd found in the trunk. The design was too exact to be coincidental.

Whomever had lived in this cottage previously had found herself needing something to keep her head warm during the long winters.

Chapter 36.

Suzanne put on her bonnet in the kitchen Sunday morning, though she left the ribbons undone. She gave Amber a concerned look. "Perhaps I should not go. I am not feeling resolved to it."

"I am quite resolved," Amber said as she whipped together the two eggs they had found in the coop that morning. The bounty would allow her to make a cake today. She was of a mind to use some of the apples and carrots from the cellar as she felt sure the flavors would complement one another. "And your blacksmith is coming all the way from town to fetch you so you must go."