A Fine Balance Part 20

He stabbed his left index finger with the scissors.

The pain, sharper than expected, jolted him. He had a.s.sumed that because it was antic.i.p.ated, it would be less intense, the way it was with antic.i.p.ated pleasure. The blood spurted in bright-red arcs upon the yellow voile.

"Oh my goodness!" said Dina. "What have you done!" She grabbed a snippet of cloth from the floor and pressed it over the cut. "Raise the hand, raise it up or more blood will flow."

"Hai Ram!" said Ishvar, removing the soiled garment from under the presser foot of the Singer. Just when he thought his nephew was improving, he did this. His obsession to find the export company was not good.

"Quick, soak that dress in the bucket," said Dina. She got the tincture of benzoin from her first-aid box and applied it liberally. The cut was not as serious as the blood had led her to believe. She indulged in the relief of a scolding.

"Careless boy! What were you trying to do? Where is your mind? A skinny person cannot afford to lose so much blood. But always there is so much anger, so much haste in whatever you do."

Still stunned by what his scissors had accomplished, a lukewarm scowl was the best Om could reply with. He liked the pungent fragrance of the golden-brown liquid coating his finger. She taped a cotton wad tightly over the cut as the bleeding slowed to a trickle.

"Your finger has made me late. Now the manager will be upset." She did not mention the cost of the blood-stained garment. Better to see if the voile was salvageable before discussing rest.i.tution. She took the bundle of dresses to the door and picked up the padlock.

"It's paining too much," said Om. "I want to go to doctor."

And now Ishvar understood: the encounter of scissors and finger was part of his nephew's foolish plan.

"Doctor for this? Don't be a baby," she said. "Rest with your hand up for a while, you will be all right."

Om screwed his face into caricatures of agony. "What if my finger rots and falls off because of your advice? It will be on your head, for sure."

She suspected the act was put on to shirk the afternoon's work, but it planted the seed of unease in her mind. "What do I care go if you want," she said brusquely.

The stress of dealing with these two fellows, their sloppy work, their tardiness, was wearing her out, she felt. Mrs. Gupta was bound to cancel the arrangement sooner or later. The only question was, which would disappear first, the tailors or her health. She envisioned two leaky faucets: one said Money, the other, Sanity. And both were dripping away simultaneously.

Thank goodness that Maneck Kohlah was arriving tomorrow. At least his room and board was one hundred per cent guaranteed income.

Om watched from a distance, holding aloft his punctured finger until Dina was inside the taxi. Then, spurred by the smell of success, he rushed to his hiding place.

By the time he unlocked the bicycle and wheeled it out from under the stairs, the taxi had disappeared. He raced to the side street and there it was, waiting at the red traffic light.

He caught up, staying two cars away. Keeping her in sight was as important as keeping himself out of sight. He sped up, slowed down, ducked behind buses, changed lanes like a demon. Cars honked in protest. People shouted at him and made nasty gestures. He was forced to ignore them, the taxi and bicycle requiring all his concentration.

So confident was he now of tracking the destination, he was trembling. It was a curious palpitation, the excitement of the hunter mingling with the trepidation of the hunted.

The street merged into the main road, and the traffic was thicker now, deranged and bad-tempered, worse than anything he had encountered so far. Within minutes he was panting with frustration. The taxi was lost and found half a dozen times, slipping farther away. Scores of identical yellow and black Fiats swarming the street, their bulky meters sticking out on the left side, did not make his task easier.

Confused, Om began to lose his nerve. The brief early-morning ride from the train station was no preparation for the hysteria of midday traffic. It was like seeing wild animals lethargic in zoo cages, then coming upon them in the jungle. Making a final desperate bid, he squeezed between two cars and was knocked off his bicycle. People screamed from the pavement.

"Hai bhagwan! Poor boy is finished!"

"Crushed to death!"

"Careful, his bones might be broken!"

"Catch the chauffeur! Don't let him run! Bash the rascal!"

Feeling bad about generating so much needless concern, Om stood up, dragging the bicycle after him. He had sc.r.a.ped his elbow and bruised one knee, but was otherwise unhurt.

Now it was the chauffeur's turn. He emerged boldly from the car where he had been cowering. "You have eyes or marbles?" he screamed. "Can't see where you're going? Causing damage to people's property!"

A policeman arrived and checked most solicitously on the pa.s.sengers in the car. "Everybody all right, sahab?" Om looked on, a little dazed, and also frightened. Were people who caused accidents sent to jail? His finger was bleeding again, throbbing madly.

A man in an ochre-coloured safari suit, snuggled in the back of the car, fished out his wallet. He pa.s.sed the policeman some money, then beckoned his chauffeur to the window. The chauffeur put something in Om's hands. "Now go! And be more careful or you'll kill somebody! Use your G.o.d-given eyes!"

Om looked down at what lay in his shaking hands: fifty rupees.

"Come on, you paagal-ka-batcha!" shouted the policeman. "Take your cycle and clear the road!" He waved the car through with his smartest VIP VIP salute. salute.

Om wheeled the bicycle to the kerb. The handlebars were askew and the mudguards rattled more resolutely than before. He dusted off his pants, examining the black smears of grease on the cuffs.

"How much did he give you?" asked someone on the pavement.

"Fifty rupees."

"You got up too fast," said the man, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Never get up so fast. Always stay down and make some moaning-groaning noise. Cry for doctor, cry for ambulance, scream, shout, anything. In this type of case, you can pull at least two hundred rupees." He spoke like a professional; his twisted elbow hung at his side like a qualification.

Om put the money in his pocket. He braced the front wheel between his knees and tugged at the handlebars till they were straight. He walked the bicycle down a side street, leaving the crowd to continue a.n.a.lysing his accident.

Returning to the flat was useless, the padlock would be on the door, hanging dark and heavy, like a bullock's lost s.c.r.o.t.u.m. He was also reluctant to turn in the bicycle early a day's rent had been paid in advance. He wished he had listened to his uncle in the morning. But the plan seemed so perfect when he had imagined the sequence of events, shining with success, like the sunlight gilding the handlebars. Imagination was a dangerous thing.

He mounted the bicycle where the traffic was less threatening, and took the seaward road. No longer quarry or pursuer, he could enjoy the ride now. The tinkling bell of the candy-floss man outside a school caught his ear. He stopped and squinted into the man's neck-slung gla.s.s container, getting a hazy look at the pink, yellow, and blue cottony b.a.l.l.s through the side that was cleanest.

"How much?"

"Twenty-five paise for one. Or try a lottery for fifty paise win from one to ten b.a.l.l.s."

Om paid and dipped a hand into the brown-paper lottery bag. The chit he pulled out had a 2 scrawled on it.

"What colours?"

"One pink, one yellow."

The man plopped off the round lid and reached inside. "Not that one, the one next to it," directed Om.

The sweet fluff melted quickly in his mouth. Got the bigger pink ball for sure, he thought, pleased with himself as he separated a ten-rupee note from the crackling group of five. The man wiped his fingers on the neck-sling before taking it. Om pocketed the change and continued towards the sea.

At the beach he paused to read the chiselled name under a tall black stone statue. The plaque said he was a Guardian of Democracy. Om had studied about the man in his history cla.s.s, in the story of the Freedom Struggle. The photo in the history book was nicer than the statue, he decided. Letting the bicycle lean against the pedestal, he rested in the statue's shade. The sides of the pedestal were plastered with posters extolling the virtues of the Emergency. The obligatory Prime Ministerial visage was prominent. Small print explained why fundamental rights had been temporarily suspended.

He watched two men making juice at a sugar-cane stall in the sand. One fed the sticks to the crushing wheels while the other swung the handle. The latter was shirtless, his muscles rippling, skin shining with sweat as he heaved mightily at the machine. His job was harder, thought Om, and he hoped they took turns, or it would not be a fair partnership.

The frothing golden juice made Om's mouth water. Despite the money in his pocket, he hesitated. Recently, he had heard stories in the bazaar about a cane stall that had pulped a gecko along with cane. An accident, they said the thing was probably lurking about the innards of the machine, licking the sugary rods and gears, but many customers had been poisoned.

Liquid lizards kept swimming into Om's thoughts, alternating with gla.s.sfuls of golden juice. Eventually the lizards won, squelching all desire for the drink. Instead, he bought a length of sugar cane, peeled and chopped into a dozen pieces. These he munched happily, chewing the juice out of them, one by one. He spat each husky mouthful in a tidy pile at the statue's feet. His jaws tired quickly, but the ache was as satisfying as the sweetness.

The desiccated shreds attracted a curious gull. Next time he spat, he aimed for the bird. It dodged the missile and poked around in the macerated remnants, scattering the neat little hill before turning away disdainfully.

Om tossed it his last piece, unchewed. The gull's interest was renewed. It investigated thoroughly, refusing to believe its beak was not up to tackling sugar cane.

A street urchin shooed away the gull and s.n.a.t.c.hed the prize. She took it to the juice stall and washed off the sand in the bucket where the men were rinsing dirty gla.s.ses. Om felt drowsy watching her gnaw the chunk. He wished he could come here with the lovely shiny-haired girl. Shanti. He would buy bhel-puri and sugar cane for both of them. They would sit in the sand and watch the waves. Then the sun would set, the breeze would come up, they would snuggle together. They would sit with their arms around each other, and then, for sure...

Dreaming, he fell asleep. When he awoke the sun was still harsh, and shining in his eyes. An hour and a half of rental time remained on the bicycle, but he decided to turn it in anyway.

Ishvar was certain that his nephew had reached his goal, if the grinning insouciance with which he took his place at the Singer was any indication.

Dina, having returned hours ago, began scolding him. "Wasting time, that's all it is. Were you taking a tour of the whole city? How far away is your doctor at the southernmost tip of Lanka?"

"Yes, I was carried through the sky by Lord Hanuman," he replied, wondering if she could have spied him on the bicycle.

"This fellow is getting very sharp."

"Too sharp," said Ishvar. "If he isn't careful, he will cut himself again."

"And how is the finger that was going to rot?" she inquired. "Has it fallen off yet?"

"It's better. Doctor checked it."

"Good. Do some work, then. Start pushing your feet, there are lots of new dresses."

"Hahnji, right away."

"My goodness. No more grumbling? Whatever medicine your doctor prescribed, it's working. You should take a dose every morning."

Unexpectedly, the last hour of the day, usually the most difficult, pa.s.sed with banter and laughing. Why couldn't it be like this every day, wished Dina. Before they left, she took advantage of their good mood to move part of the furniture from her bedroom into the sewing room.

"Are you rearranging the whole flat?" asked Ishvar.

"Just this room. I have to prepare for my guest."

"Yes, the college boy," said Om, remembering. They rolled up the mattress from the bed, carried in the frame and slats, then replaced the mattress. The Singers, stools, worktable were crammed closer together to make s.p.a.ce. "When does he arrive?"

"Tomorrow night."

She sat alone in the sewing room after they were gone, watching the floc and fibres float in the electric light. The heavily starched cloth from the Au Revoir mills mingled its cloying textile sweetness with the tailors' scent of sweat and tobacco. She liked it while their bustle filled the room. But the smell was depressing during the empty evenings, when something acrid suspired from the bolts, stiffening the air, clouding it with thoughts of dingy factories, tubercular labourers, bleak lives. The emptiness of her own life appeared starkest at this hour.

"So. What's the name of the company?" asked Ishvar.

"I don't know."

"The address?"

"I don't know."

"Then why so pleased? Your cunning plan got you nothing."

"Patience, patience," he mimicked his uncle. "It got me something." He flashed the money and narrated his afternoon's adventures.

Ishvar began to laugh. "Only to you could such things happen." Neither of them seemed disappointed it may have been the money, or relief at the failure: finding the export company would have led to some difficult choices.

A mobile Family Planning Clinic was parked outside the hutment colony when they got home. Most of the slum-dwelling mult.i.tudes were giving it a wide berth. The staff were handing out free condoms, distributing leaflets on birth-control procedures, explaining incentives being offered in cash and kind.

"Maybe I should have the operation," said Om. "Get a Bush transistor. And then the ration card would also be possible."

Ishvar whacked him. "Don't even joke about such things!"

"Why? I'm never getting married. Might as well get a transistor."

"You will marry when I tell you to. No arguments. And what's so important about a little radio?"

"Everybody has one nowadays." He was imagining Shanti at the beach, twilight fading, while his transistor serenaded them.

"Everybody jumps in the well, you will also? Learning big-city ways forgetting our good, humble small-town ways."

"You get the operation if you don't want me to."

"Shameless. My manhood for a stupid radio?"

"No, yaar, it's not your manhood they want. The doctor just cuts a tiny little tube inside. You don't even feel it."

"n.o.body is taking a knife to my b.a.l.l.s. You want a transistor? Work hard for Dinabai, earn some money."

Rajaram came up, displaying the condoms he had collected at the clinic. They were handing out four per person, and he wondered if they would get their quota for him if they didn't need it. "Who knows when the van will come this way again," he said.

"Are you a frequent f.u.c.ker or what?" said Om, laughing but envious. "Not going to keep us awake again tonight, are you?"

"Shameless," said Ishvar and tried to whack him as he skipped away to visit the monkeys.

Dina reread the letter from Mrs. Kohlah that had arrived with the first rent cheque, postdated to Maneck's moving day. The three pages listed instructions concerning the care and comfort of Aban Kohlah's son. There were tips about his breakfast: fried eggs should be cooked floating in b.u.t.ter because he disliked the leathery edges that got stuck to the pan; scrambled eggs were to be light and fluffy, with milk added during the final phase. "Having grown up in our healthy mountain air," continued the letter, "he has a large appet.i.te. But please don't give him more than two eggs, not even if he asks. He must learn to balance his diet."

About his studies, Aban Kohlah wrote that "Maneck is a good, hardworking boy, but gets distracted sometimes, so please remind him to do his lessons every day." Also, he was very particular about his clothes, the way they were starched and ironed; a good dhobi was indispensable to his sense of well-being. And Dina should feel free to call him Mac because that was what everyone in the family called him.

Dina snorted and put away the letter. Eggs floating in b.u.t.ter, indeed! And a good dhobi, of all things! The nonsense that people foisted on their children. When the boy had visited last month, he seemed nothing like the person described in his mother's letter. But that was always the case people hardly ever saw their children as they really were.

To prepare the room for his arrival, Dina carried out her clothes, shoes, and knickknacks, making s.p.a.ce for them amid the tailoring paraphernalia. Place was found in the trunk on the trestle for her stock of homemade sanitary pads and snippets. The larger leftovers of fabric, with which she had recently started to design a quilt, went into her cupboard's bottom shelf. The paG.o.da parasol remained hanging from the top of the boarder's cupboard, it wasn't going to bother him there.

Her old bedroom was empty and ready for Maneck Kohlah. Her new bedroom was horrible. I'll probably lie sleepless, gasping for breath, she thought, hemmed in by the stacks of cloth. But it was out of the question to put the boarder in with the sewing-machines. That would make him run back to his college hostel.

She selected pieces of cloth from the bundle under the bed and settled down to make more patches for the quilt. Concentrating on the work made the anxieties about tomorrow fade. Ridiculous, she felt, to even think of competing with Aban Kohlah and the luxuries of her home in the north. Giving Maneck the bedroom was the only concession she would make.

V.