A Collection of College Words and Customs Part 90

"Thus to go on I would[84] put down Your charms from head to foot, Set all your glory In verse before ye, But I've no mind to do 't.[85]

"Then haste away, And make no stay; For soon as you come hither, We'll eat and sleep, Make beds and sweep.

And talk and smoke together.

"But if, my dear, I must move there, Tow'rds Cambridge straight I'll set me.[86]

To touse the hay On which you lay, If age and you will let me."[87]

The authorship of Father Abbey's Will and the Letter of Courtship is ascribed to the Rev. John Seccombe, who graduated at Harvard College in the year 1728. The former production was sent to England through the hands of Governor Belcher, and in May, 1732, appeared both in the Gentleman's Magazine and the London Magazine.

The latter was also despatched to England, and was printed in the Gentleman's Magazine for June, and in the London Magazine for August, 1732. Both were republished in the Ma.s.sachusetts Magazine, November, 1794. A most entertaining account of the author of these poems, and of those to whom they relate, may be found in the "Historical and Biographical Notes" of the pamphlet to which allusion has been already made, and in the "Cambridge [Ma.s.s.]

Chronicle" of April 28, 1855.

WINE. To drink wine.

After "wining" to a certain extent, we sallied forth from his rooms.--_Alma Mater_, Vol. I. p. 14.

Hither they repair each day after dinner "_to wine_."

_Ibid._, Vol. I. p. 95.

After dinner I had the honor of _wining_ with no less a personage than a fellow of the college.--_Ibid._, Vol. I. p. 114.

In _wining_ with a fair one opposite, a luckless piece of jelly adhered to the tip of his still more luckless nose.--_The Blank Book of a Small-Colleger_, New York, 1824, p. 75.

WINE PARTY. Among students at the University of Cambridge, Eng., an entertainment after dinner, which is thus described by Bristed: "Many a.s.semble at _wine parties_ to chat over a frugal dessert of oranges, biscuits, and cake, and sip a few gla.s.ses of not remarkably good wine. These wine parties are the most common entertainments, being rather the cheapest and very much the most convenient, for the preparations required for them are so slight as not to disturb the studies of the hardest reading man, and they take place at a time when no one pretends to do any work."--_Five Years in an Eng. Univ._, Ed. 2d, p. 21.

WIRE. At Harvard College, a trick; an artifice; a stratagem; a _dodge_.

WIRY. Trickish; artful.

WITENAGEMOTE. Saxon, _witan_, to know, and _gemot_, a meeting, a council.

In the University of Oxford, the weekly meeting of the heads of the colleges.--_Oxford Guide_.

WOODEN SPOON. In the University of Cambridge, Eng., the scholar whose name stands last of all on the printed list of honors, at the Bachelors' Commencement in January, is scoffingly said to gain the _wooden spoon_. He is also very currently himself called the _wooden spoon_.

A young academic coming into the country immediately after this great compet.i.tion, in which he had conspicuously distinguished himself, was asked by a plain country gentleman, "Pray, Sir, is my Jack a Wrangler?" "No, Sir." Now Jack had confidently pledged himself to his uncle that he would take his degree with honor. "A Senior Optime?" "No, Sir." "Why, what was he then?" "Wooden Spoon!" "Best suited to his wooden head," said the mortified inquirer.--_Forby's Vocabulary_, Vol. II. p. 258.

It may not perhaps be improper to mention one very remarkable personage, I mean "the _Wooden Spoon_." This luckless wight (for what cause I know not) is annually the universal b.u.t.t and laughing-stock of the whole Senate-House. He is the last of those young men who take honors, in his year, and is called a Junior Optime; yet, notwithstanding his being in fact superior to them all, the very lowest of the [Greek: oi polloi], or gregarious undistinguished bachelors, think themselves ent.i.tled to shoot the pointless arrows of their clumsy wit against the _wooden spoon_; and to reiterate the stale and perennial remark, that "Wranglers are born with gold spoons in their mouths, Senior Optimes with silver, Junior Optimes with _wooden_, and the [Greek: oi polloi]

with leaden ones."--_Gent. Mag._, 1795, p. 19.

Who while he lives must wield the boasted prize, Whose value all can feel, the weak, the wise; Displays in triumph his distinguished boon, The solid honors of the _wooden spoon_.

_Grad. ad Cantab._, p. 119.

2. At Yale College, this t.i.tle is conferred on the student who takes the last appointment at the Junior Exhibition. The following account of the ceremonies incident to the presentation of the Wooden Spoon has been kindly furnished by a graduate of that inst.i.tution.

"At Yale College the honors, or, as they are there termed, appointments, are given to a cla.s.s twice during the course;--upon the merits of the two preceding years, at the end of the first term, Junior; and at the end of the second term, Senior, upon the merits of the whole college course. There are about eight grades of appointments, the lowest of which is the Third Colloquy. Each grade has its own standard, and if a number of students have attained to the same degree, they receive the same appointment. It is rarely the case, however, that more than one student can claim the distinction of a third colloquy; but when there are several, they draw lots to see which is ent.i.tled to be considered properly _the_ third colloquy man.

"After the Junior appointments are awarded, the members of the Junior Cla.s.s hold an exhibition similar to the regular Junior exhibition, and present a _wooden spoon_ to the man who received the lowest honor in the gift of the Faculty.

"The exhibition takes place in the evening, at some public hall in town. Except to those engaged in the arrangements, nothing is known about it among the students at large, until the evening of the performances, when notices of the hour and place are quietly circulated at prayers, in order that it may not reach the ears of the Faculty, who are ever too ready to partic.i.p.ate in the sports of the students, and to make the result tell unfavorably against the college welfare of the more prominent characters.

"As the appointed hour approaches, long files of black coats may be seen emerging from the dark halls, and winding their way through the cla.s.sic elms towards the Temple, the favorite scene of students' exhibitions and secret festivals. When they reach the door, each man must undergo the searching scrutiny of the door-keeper, usually disguised as an Indian, to avoid being recognized by a college officer, should one chance to be in the crowd, and no one is allowed to enter unless he is known.

"By the time the hour of the exercises has arrived, the hall is densely packed with undergraduates and professional students. The President, who is a non-appointment man, and probably the poorest scholar in the cla.s.s, sits on a stage with his a.s.sociate professors. Appropriate programmes, printed in the college style, are scattered throughout the house. As the hour strikes, the President arises with becoming dignity, and, instead of the usual phrase, 'Musicam audeamus,' restores order among the audience by 'Silentiam audeamus,' and then addresses the band, 'Musica cantetur.'

"Then follow a series of burlesque orations, dissertations, and disputes, upon scientific and other subjects, from the wittiest and cleverest men in the cla.s.s, and the house is kept in a continual roar of laughter. The highest appointment men frequently take part in the speeches. From time to time the band play, and the College choir sing pieces composed for the occasion. In one of the best, called AUDACIA, composed in imitation of the Crambambuli song, by a member of the cla.s.s to which the writer belonged, the Wooden Spoon is referred to in the following stanza:--

'But do not think our life is aimless; O no! we crave one blessed boon, It is the prize of value nameless, The honored, cla.s.sic WOODEN SPOON; But give us this, we'll shout Hurrah!

O nothing like Audacia!'

"After the speeches are concluded and the music has ceased, the President rises and calls the name of the hero of the evening, who ascends the stage and stands before the high dignitary. The President then congratulates him upon having attained to so eminent a position, and speaks of the pride that he and his a.s.sociates feel in conferring upon him the highest honor in their gift,--the Wooden Spoon. He exhorts him to pursue through life the n.o.ble cruise he has commenced in College,--not seeking glory as one of the illiterate,--the [Greek: oi polloi],--nor exactly on the fence, but so near to it that he may safely be said to have gained the 'happy medium.'

"The President then proceeds to the grand ceremony of the evening, --the delivery of the Wooden Spoon,--a handsomely finished spoon, or ladle, with a long handle, on which is carved the name of the Cla.s.s, and the rank and honor of the recipient, and the date of its presentation. The President confers the honor in Latin, provided he and his a.s.sociates are able to muster a sufficient number of sentences.

"When the President resumes his seat, the Third Colloquy man thanks his eminent instructors for the honor conferred upon him, and thanks (often with sincerity) the cla.s.s for the distinction he enjoys. The exercises close with music by the band, or a burlesque colloquy. On one occasion, the colloquy was announced upon the programme as 'A Practical Ill.u.s.tration of Humbugging,' with a long list of witty men as speakers, to appear in original costumes.

Curiosity was very much excited, and expectation on the tiptoe, when the colloquy became due. The audience waited and waited until sufficiently _humbugged_, when they were allowed to retire with the laugh turned against them.

"Many men prefer the Wooden Spoon to any other college honor or prize, because it comes directly from their cla.s.smates, and hence, perhaps, the Faculty disapprove of it, considering it as a damper to ambition and college distinctions."

This account of the Wooden Spoon Exhibition was written in the year 1851. Since then its privacy has been abolished, and its exercises are no longer forbidden by the Faculty. Tutors are now not unfrequently among the spectators at the presentation, and even ladies lend their presence, attention, and applause, to beautify, temper, and enliven the occasion.

The "_Wooden Spoon_," tradition says, was in ancient times presented to the greatest glutton in the cla.s.s, by his appreciating cla.s.smates. It is now given to the one whose name comes last on the list of appointees for the Junior Exhibition, though this rule is not strictly followed. The presentation takes place during the Summer Term, and in vivacity with respect to the literary exercises, and brilliance in point of audience, forms a rather formidable rival to the regularly authorized Junior Exhibition.--_Songs of Tale_, Preface, 1853, p. 4.

Of the songs which are sung in connection with the wooden spoon presentation, the following is given as a specimen.

"Air,--_Yankee Doodle_.

"Come, Juniors, join this jolly tune Our fathers sang before us; And praise aloud the wooden spoon In one long, swelling chorus.

Yes! let us, Juniors, shout and sing The spoon and all its glory,-- Until the welkin loudly ring And echo back the story.

"Who would not place this precious boon Above the Greek Oration?

Who would not choose the wooden spoon Before a dissertation?

Then, let, &c.

"Some pore o'er cla.s.sic works jejune, Through all their life at College,-- I would not pour, but use the spoon To fill my mind with knowledge.

So let, &c.

"And if I ever have a son Upon my knee to dandle, I'll feed him with a wooden spoon Of elongated handle.

Then let, &c.

"Most college honors vanish soon, Alas! returning never, But such a n.o.ble wooden spoon Is tangible for ever.