A Collection of Beatrix Potter Stories Part 18

"I think it wants another five minutes," said Ribby. "Just a shade longer; I will pour out the tea, while we wait. Do you take sugar, my dear d.u.c.h.ess?"

"Oh yes, please! my dear Ribby; and may I have a lump upon my nose?"

"With pleasure, my dear d.u.c.h.ess; how beautifully you beg! Oh, how sweetly pretty!"

d.u.c.h.ess sat up with the sugar on her nose and sniffed--

"How good that pie smells! I do love veal and ham--I mean to say mouse and bacon----"

She dropped the sugar in confusion, and had to go hunting under the tea-table, so did not see which oven Ribby opened in order to get out the pie.

Ribby set the pie upon the table; there was a very savoury smell.

d.u.c.h.ess came out from under the table-cloth munching sugar, and sat up on a chair.

"I will first cut the pie for you; I am going to have m.u.f.fin and marmalade," said Ribby.

"Do you really prefer m.u.f.fin?

Mind the patty-pan!"

"I beg your pardon?" said Ribby.

"May I pa.s.s you the marmalade?"

said d.u.c.h.ess hurriedly.

The pie proved extremely toothsome, and the m.u.f.fins light and hot. They disappeared rapidly, especially the pie!

"I think"--(thought the d.u.c.h.ess to herself)--"I THINK it would be wiser if I helped myself to pie; though Ribby did not seem to notice anything when she was cutting it.

What very small fine pieces it has cooked into! I did not remember that I had minced it up so fine; I suppose this is a quicker oven than my own."

"How fast d.u.c.h.ess is eating!" thought Ribby to herself, as she b.u.t.tered her fifth m.u.f.fin.

The pie-dish was emptying rapidly! d.u.c.h.ess had had four helps already, and was fumbling with the spoon.

"A little more bacon, my dear d.u.c.h.ess?" said Ribby.

"Thank you, my dear Ribby; I was only feeling for the patty-pan."

"The patty-pan? my dear d.u.c.h.ess?"

"The patty-pan that held up the pie-crust," said d.u.c.h.ess, blushing under her black coat.

"Oh, I didn't put one in, my dear d.u.c.h.ess," said Ribby; "I don't think that it is necessary in pies made of mouse."

d.u.c.h.ess fumbled with the spoon --"I can't find it!" she said anxiously.

"There isn't a patty-pan," said Ribby, looking perplexed.

"Yes, indeed, my dear Ribby; where can it have gone to?" said d.u.c.h.ess.

"There most certainly is not one, my dear d.u.c.h.ess. I disapprove of tin articles in puddings and pies. It is most undesirable--(especially when people swallow in lumps!)"

she added in a lower voice.

d.u.c.h.ess looked very much alarmed, and continued to scoop the inside of the pie-dish.

"My Great-aunt Squintina (grandmother of Cousin Tabitha Twitchit)--died of a thimble in a Christmas plum-pudding. _I_ never put any article of metal in MY puddings or pies."

d.u.c.h.ess looked aghast, and tilted up the pie-dish.

"I have only four patty-pans, and they are all in the cupboard."

d.u.c.h.ess set up a howl.

"I shall die! I shall die! I have swallowed a patty-pan! Oh, my dear Ribby, I do feel so ill!"

"It is impossible, my dear d.u.c.h.ess; there was not a patty-pan."

d.u.c.h.ess moaned and whined and rocked herself about.

"Oh I feel so dreadful. I have swallowed a patty-pan!"

"There was NOTHING in the pie,"

said Ribby severely.

"Yes there WAS, my dear Ribby, I am sure I have swallowed it!"

"Let me prop you up with a pillow, my dear d.u.c.h.ess; where do you think you feel it?"

"Oh I do feel so ill ALL OVER me, my dear Ribby; I have swallowed a large tin patty-pan with a sharp scalloped edge!"

"Shall I run for the doctor? I will just lock up the spoons!"

"Oh yes, yes! fetch Dr. Maggotty, my dear Ribby: he is a Pie himself, he will certainly understand."

Ribby settled d.u.c.h.ess in an armchair before the fire, and went out and hurried to the village to look for the doctor.

She found him at the smithy.

He was occupied in putting rusty nails into a bottle of ink, which he had obtained at the post office.

"Gammon? ha! HA!" said he, with his head on one side.