A Certain Middle-Aged Man’s VRMMO Activity Log c56

Toaru Ossan no VRMMO Katsudouki

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“U-n …, it’s going pretty well … though I’d like to get it about twice as thin …”

I groaned at the forge, causing Boss to raise his voice and call out,

“What’s the matter, Earth, are you making something weird again?”

He said this kind of thing; I don’t like it, but with my reputation I understand why.

“No, this time I wanted to try making small tools a bit, though.”

That’s right; what I’m making this time are lock-picking tools to use for opening treasure chests and other things that need keys. Of course this is purely for use in the Dungeon; don’t get me wrong, you can’t steal from Players or the town’s NPCs.

“Ho-, stuff for what all those tons of guys were complaining about, that new dungeon with all those traps.”

Interested, Boss leaned forward.

“Yeah, for now I can try to dismantle things to some degree; if I have this type of thing on top of that I can dismantle them even faster; hitting on that idea I tried to make it but … if I try to make it any thinner with my abilities, I’ll break it.”

Out of the 7 tools for dismantling traps and opening things that need keys, I’ve already made 6 of them, but the last one is the most delicate lock-picking tool and it’s not easily made. To tell the truth, rather than Blacksmithing, it’s more in the direction of Craftsmanship though…

“Hand it over; this time I wanna try it.”

So saying, Boss took the unfinished lock-picking tool from me and began working on it with his tools.

If I did it myself, the shine would clearly become dull, and then it would snap.

“Like this? Is this the shape you wanted?”

It’s perfect … as expected of someone whose primary job is Blacksmith; it’s nothing like the work of someone who’s only half-invested like me.

“Thank you very much; it’s been done even better than I had planned for.”

I hadn’t imagined that the tip would have been thinned to this degree.
It was even thinner than a 1 millimeter pin. Like this, it looks like it could even go against the most troublesome treasure chests.

“I’ve learned a lot from watching Boss’ skills.

So saying, I bow my head; I really am grateful to be able to watch a top-cla.s.s craftsman’s work. Boss said, “Ou, you do your best too, ‘cause it’s only gonna be free this time.” … He’s got a really big heart.

Putting away the 7 tools made for the labyrinth, I thought I should face replenishing my dwindled supply of arrows; in order to get wood materials I went outside of the town, and after walking a little ways … the Queen suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

“Yoohoo, have you been doing good~?”

This time she’s appeared in her formal wear, that is her rod and black dress, as well as wearing a crown on her head.

“You came out of nowhere as always, oi. It really freaks me out, you know?”

This is the truth; actually I did have a slight premonition, but I just want to say this.

“Then should I make a flashier entrance? Like with music.”

Entering with music, are you some kind of pro-wrestler? Would you be finished if I back-dropped you with a DDT?1

“Haa, maa, fine. So? Since you’re wearing formal wear, was there something important?”

The formal wear she came with is the one from that event.

“Yeah, after this I have work to do. I need to hand over the Contract Crystals for the new adventurers from the humans to be able to contract with my fellow Fairies.”

Come to think of it, that kind of event existed. In order to give a single Fairy Contract Crystal, limited to new players, they received a mail asking them to wait to gather at a specified place.

“What I had to do wasn’t just limited to handing them over today, wa; writing all the mail was pretty terrible. Though I did have some human helpers cooperating with me.”

The “helpers”, it’s probably the Game Masters na … although it’s because I can’t think of any others.
Actually, it wasn’t ma.s.s-mail, but handwritten!? What the heck is with that outdated method.

“And so, I’m off. Let’s meet again after, darling.”2

S-mack!

“I have no memories of being in any kind of relationship with you …”

Since my second name became something I really hate, it’s become a thorn in my side  … I want to believe that the feeling it won’t be removed anytime soon is just my imagination.
By the way, the harisen that I struck her with is treated as a blunt weapon, but it’s a manufactured item with the damage fixed at 0 while giving off only a loud sound at its core.

“Uu, my hair I had all fixed up got a little messed up …”

Fidgeting, the Queen took out a mirror and reset her messed up hair. That part of her is really like a girl.

“The smack is a bit to strong, huh …”

The Queen who had finished fixing her hair put away the mirror, said, “Well then, if you’ll excuse me,” and took her leave. So that girl is managing that sort work. It’s strangely rea.s.suring.

I cut down a number of trees, and at that point I go back to the town to ma.s.s produce wood arrows, and combined together with iron I ma.s.s produce iron arrows; in order not to be troubled whenever I next go to the Dungeon, I made 3 times the normal amount of arrows.
With this I’ll be safe even on a day with a lot of monsters. Though my arrows aren’t red.3

Craftsmanship has reached 50, but with this Skill it looks like you can’t continue to the Advanced Skill until you raise it to 99; it looks like that will be some time away … I want to say that if I produce something everyday I’ll reach it some day.

With the ma.s.s production of arrows complete, next is making food and putting out a street stall, so while I was making the food, there the Fairy Queen’s completely exhausted form appeared. My hand stopped for a moment.

“A,aren’t you a little worn out?”

While resuming my work, I ask that; she looks this worn out, but because it’s her she probably won’t die.

“It was fine while I was handing out the crystals, but after that … who cares about what my three-sizes are!? What’s the use of knowing what my type is!? What will you do after hearing about what kind of food I like!? What do you mean, am I OK with affairs!? And all the other questions that don’t make any sense kept coming! ‘Where should I go to meet with you’ – I don’t have any reason to answer that, naiwa! I wonder how humans can ask such questions seriously …”

Guys who ask those kinds of things exist everywhere, naa; but you know, even if they don’t do it with bad intentions, it’s annoying naa … could they have fallen for her?

“I, I see, that sounds like it was a disaster …”

Naturally I greatly pity the Queen.

“Since there wasn’t any helping it, I forced all the children who asked such questions into a Battle Field where you can revive 9 times and beat them down 10 times.”

“Oi!? What the h.e.l.l are you doing!?”

Calmly using the revival magic that hasn’t been found as of yet to thoroughly beat them up, are you a demon… ?

“But, but, when I did that, ‘In our line of work this is a reward,” they said that with an ecstatic smile!? Isn’t it scary … humans are really scary …”

… … No Comment, I have absolutely no comment!

“Thanks to that I was worn out in an instant … events are things that can wear you out to this extent, ne …”

Maa, the devs probably also had a hard time during the event … but this time this girl as well was worn out, huh? In some ways, these HENTAI gentlemen might become a legendary star in the sky, my sympathies.

“And so, please! Let me have a lap pillow, pat my head, and sign a marriage registration!”

“Isn’t that last one clearly strange!?”

And then, before I was finished cooking, we had a mutual, stand-up comedy-like back and forth conversation, in the end she came back to me giving her a lap pillow … I know I’m only digging myself in deeper but … in the end I thought it was fine to spoil her a little this time and gave in to her demands. When she got carried away, I hit her with the harisen, though.

SKILLS

[Kicking a.s.sault]Lv17

[Craftsmanship]Lv51 ↑1UP

[Stealth]Lv38

[Thief]Lv43

[Fairy Language]Lv99 (Forced Acquisition) (Unable to be moved to Reserved Skills)

Reserved Skills

[Blacksmithing]Lv39 ↑1UP

[Advanced Cookin]Lv1

ExP 9

A/N: And so there’s the Queen.
By the way, Zwei and the Queen are characters easy to write for.

DDT – A move which drops an opponent you have in a headlock head-first into the ground. “Anata” – the Fairy Queen calls him what is essentially equivalent to “husband-dearest”, and he says, “I have no memories of starting a family with you.” I mussed with it (maybe a little too much) to give it more of an English flare. Because it just sounded like he was implying kids to me if I went literally with it… No idea what this reference is to.