A Canticle For Leibowitz Part 27

"He's not there, Domne." Domne."

"Then have them send me a carpenter and a painter. Anybody will do."

Minutes later, two monks arrived.

"I want five lightweight signs made at once," he told them. "I want them with good long handles. They're to be big enough to be read from a block away, but light enough for a man to carry for several hours without getting dog-tired. Can you do that?"

"Surely, milord. What do you want them to say?"

Abbot Zerchi wrote it for them. "Make it big and make it bright," he told them. "Make it scream at the eye. That's all."

When they were gone, he called Brother Patrick again.

"Brother Pat, go find me five good, young, healthy novices, preferably with martyr complexes. Tell them they may get what Saint Stephen got."

And I may get even worse, he thought, when New Rome hears about it...

28.

Compline had been sung, but the abbot stayed on in the church, kneeling alone in the gloom of evening.

Domine, mundorum omnium Factor, parsurus esto imprimis eis filiis aviantibus ad sideria caeli quorum victus dificilior...

He prayed for Brother Joshua's group-for the men who had gone to take a starship and climb the heavens into a vaster uncertainty than any uncertainty faced by Man on Earth. They'd want much praying for; none was more susceptible than the wanderer to the ills that afflict the spirit to torture faith and nag a belief, harrowing the mind with doubts. At home, on Earth, conscience had its overseers and its exterior taskmasters, but abroad the conscience was alone, torn between Lord and Foe. Let them he incorruptible, he prayed, let them hold true to the way of the Order.

Doctor Cors found him in the church at midnight and beckoned him quietly outside. The physician looked haggard and wholly unnerved.

"I just broke my promise!" he stated challengingly.

The abbot was silent. "Proud of it?" he asked at last.

"Not especially."

They walked toward the mobile unit and stopped in the bath of bluish light that spilled out its entrance. The medic's lab-jacket was soaked with sweat, and he dried his forehead on his sleeve. Zerchi watched him with that pity one might feel for the lost.

"We'll leave at once, of course," said Cors. "I thought I'd tell you." He turned to enter the mobile unit.

"Wait a minute," the priest said. "You'll tell me the rest."

"Will I?" The challenging tone once again. "Why? So you can go threaten h.e.l.l-fire? She's sick enough now, and so's the child. I'll tell you nothing."

"You already have. I know who you mean. The child, too, I suppose?"

Cors hesitated. "Radiation sickness. Flash burns. The woman has a broken hip. The father's dead. The fillings in the woman's teeth are radioactive. The child almost glows in the dark. Vomiting shortly after the blast. Nausea, anemia, rotten follicles. Blind in one eye. The child cries constantly because of the burns. How they survived the shock wave is hard to understand. I can't do anything for them except the Eucrem team."

"I've seen them."

"Then you know why I broke the promise. I have to live live with myself afterwards, man! I don't want to live as the torturer of that woman and that child." with myself afterwards, man! I don't want to live as the torturer of that woman and that child."

"Pleasanter to live as their murderer instead?"

"You're beyond reasonable argument."

"What did you tell her?"

"'If you love your child, spare her the agony. Go to sleep mercifully as quick as you can.' That's all. We'll leave immediately. We've finished with the radiation eases and the worst of the others. It won't hurt the rest of them to walk a couple of miles. There aren't any more critical-dosage cases.

Zerchi stalked away, then stopped and called back. "Finish," he croaked. "Finish and then get out. If I see you again-I'm afraid of what I'll do."

Cors spat. "I don't like being here any better than you like having me. We'll go now, thanks."

He found the woman lying on a cot with the child in the corridor of the overcrowded guesthouse. They huddled together under a blanket and both were crying. The building smelled of death and antiseptic. She looked up at his vague silhouette against the light.

"Father?" Her voice was frightened.

"Yes."

"We're done for. See? See what they gave me?"

He could see nothing, but he heard her fingers pick at the edge of paper. The red ticket. He could find no voice to speak to her. He came to stand over the cot. He fished in his pocket and brought out a rosary. She heard the rattle of the beads and groped for it.

"You know what it is?"

"Certainly, Father.

"Then keep it. Use it."

"Thank you."

"Bear it and pray."

"I know what I have to do."

"Don't be an accomplice. For the love of G.o.d, child, don't-"

"The doctor said-"

She broke off. He waited for her to finish; she kept silent.

"Don't be an accomplice."

She still said nothing. He blessed them and left as quickly as possible. The woman had handled the beads with fingers that knew them; there was nothing he could say to her that she didn't already know.

"The conference of foreign ministers on Guam has just ended. No joint policy statement has yet been issued; the ministers are returning to their capitals. The importance of this conference, and the suspense with which the world awaits the results, cause this commentator to believe that the conference is not yet ended, but only recessed so that the foreign ministers many confer with their governments for a few days. An earlier report which alleged that the conference was breaking up amid bitter invective has been denied by the ministries. First Minister Rekol had only one statement for the press: "I'm going back to talk to the Regency Council. But the weather's been pleasant here; I may come back later to fish."

"The ten-day waiting period ends today, but it is generally held that the cease-fire agreement will continue to be observed. Mutual annihilation is the alternative. Two cities have died, but it is to be remembered that neither side answered with a saturation attack. The Asian rulers contend that an eye was taken for an eye. Our government insists that the explosion in Itu Wan was not an Atlantic missile. But for the most part, there is a weird and brooding silence from both capitals. There has been little waving of the b.l.o.o.d.y shirt, few cries for wholesale vengeance. A kind of dumb fury, because murder has been done, because lunacy reigns, prevails, but neither side wants total war. Defense remains at battle alert. The General Staff has issued an announcement, almost an appeal, to the effect that we will not use the worst if Asia likewise refrains. But the announcement says further: 'If they use dirty fallout, we shall reply in kind, and in such force that no creature will live in Asia for a thousand years."

"Strangely, the least hopeful note of all comes not from Guam but from the Vatican at New Rome. After the Guam conference ended, it was reported that Pope Gregory ceased to pray for peace in the world. Two special Ma.s.ses were sung in the basilica: the Exsurge quare obdormis, Exsurge quare obdormis, Ma.s.s against the Heathen, and the Ma.s.s against the Heathen, and the Reminiscere, Reminiscere, Ma.s.s in Time of War; then, the report says His Holiness retired to the mountains to meditate and pray for justice. Ma.s.s in Time of War; then, the report says His Holiness retired to the mountains to meditate and pray for justice.

"And now a word from-"

"Turn it off!" Zerchi groaned.

The young priest who was with him snapped off the set and stared wide-eyed at the abbot. "I don't believe it!"

"What? About the Pope? I didn't either. But I heard it earlier, and New Rome has had time to deny it. They haven't said a word."

"What does it mean?"

"Isn't that obvious? The Vatican diplomatic service is on the job. Evidently they sent in a report on the Guam conference. Evidently it horrified the Holy Father."

"What a warning! What a gesture!"

"It was more than a gesture, Father. His Holiness isn't chanting Battle Ma.s.ses for dramatic effect. Besides, most people will think he means 'against the heathen' on the other side of the ocean, and 'justice" for our side. Or if they know better, they'll still mean that themselves." He buried his face in his hands and rubbed them up and down. "Sleep. What's sleep, Father Lehy? Do you remember? I haven't seen a human face in ten days that didn't have black circles under its eye. I could hardly doze last night for somebody screaming over in the guesthouse."

"Lucifer's no sandman, that's true."

"What are you staring at out that window?" Zerchi demanded sharply. "That's another thing. Everybody keeps looking at the sky, staring up and wondering. If it's coming, you won't have time to see it until the flash, and then you'd better not be looking. Stop it. It's unhealthy."

Father Lehy turned away from the window. "Yes, Reverend Father. I wasn't watching for that though. I was watching the buzzards."...

"Buzzards?"

"There've been lots of them, all day. Dozens of buzzards-just circling."

"Where?"

"Over. the Green Star camp down the highway."

"That's no omen, then. That's just healthy vulture appet.i.te. Agh! I'm going out for some air."

In the courtyard he met Mrs. Grales. She carried a basket of tomatoes which she lowered to the ground at his approach.

"I brought ye somewhat, Father Zerchi," she told him.

"I saw yer sign being down, and some poor girl inside the gate, so I reckoned ye'd not mind a visit by yer old tumater woman. I brought ye some tumaters, see?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Grales. The sign's down because of the refugees, but that's all right. You'll have to see Brother Elton about the tomatoes, though. He does the buying for our kitchen."

"Oh, not for buying, Father. He-he! I brought 'em to yer for free. Ye've got lots to feed, with all the poor things yer putting up. So they're for free. Where'll I put 'em?"

"The emergency kitchen's in the-but no, leave them there. I'll get someone to carry them to the guesthouse."

"Port 'em myself. I ported them this far." She hoisted the basket again.

"Thank you, Mrs. Grales." He turned to go.

"Father, wait!" she called. A minute, yer honor, just a minute of your time-"

The abbot suppressed a groan. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Grales, but it's as I told you-" He stopped, stared at the face of Rachel. For a moment, he had imagined-Had Brother Joshua been right about it? But surely, no. "It 's-it's a matter for your parish and diocese, and there's nothing I can-"

"No, Father, not that!" she said. "It be somewhat else I wanted to ask of ye." (There! It had had smiled! He was certain of it!) "Would ye hear my confession, Father? Beg shriv'ness for bothering ye, but I'm sad for my naughties, and I would it were you as shrives me." smiled! He was certain of it!) "Would ye hear my confession, Father? Beg shriv'ness for bothering ye, but I'm sad for my naughties, and I would it were you as shrives me."

Zerchi hesitated. "Why not Father Selo?"

"I tell ye truthful, yer honor, it's that the man is an occasion of sin for me. I go meanin' well for the man, but I look once on his face and forget myself. G.o.d love him, but I can't."

"If he's offended you, you'll have to forgive him."

"Forgive, that I do, that I do. But at a goodly distance. He's an occasion of sin for me, I'll tell, for I go losing my temper with him on sight."

Zerchi chuckled. "All right, Mrs. Grales I'll hear your confession, but I've got something I have to do first. Meet me in the Lady Chapel in about half an hour. The first booth. Will that be all right?"

"Ay, and bless ye, Father!" She nodded profusely. Abbot Zerchi could have sworn that the Rachel head mirrored the nods, ever so slightly.

He dismissed the thought and walked over to the garage. A postulant brought out the car for him. He climbed in, dialed his destination, and sank back wearily into the cushions while the automatic controls engaged the gears and nosed the car toward the gate. In pa.s.sing the gate, the abbot saw the girl standing at the roadside. The child was with her. Zerchi jabbed at the CANCEL b.u.t.ton. The car stopped. "Waiting," said the robot controls.

The girl wore a cast that enclosed her hips from the waist to left knee. She was leaning on a pair of crutches and panting at the ground. Somehow she had got out of the guesthouse and through the gate, but she was obviously unable to go any farther. The child was holding on to one of her crutches and staring at the traffic on the highway.

Zerchi opened the ear door and climbed out slowly. She looked up at him, but turned her glance quickly away.

"What are you doing out of bed, child?" he breathed. "You're not supposed to be up, not with that hip. Just where did you think you were going?"

She shifted her weight, and her face twisted with pain.

"To town," she said. "I've got to go. It's urgent."

"Not so urgent that somebody couldn't go do it for you. I'll get Brother-"

"No, Father, no! n.o.body else can do it for me. I've got to go to town."

She was lying. He felt certain she was lying. "All right, then," he said. "I'll take you to town. I'm driving in anyway.

"No! I'll walk! I'm-" She took a step and gasped. He caught her before she fell.

"Not even with Saint Christopher holding your crutches could you walk to town, child. Come on, now, let's get you back to bed."

"I've got to get to town, I tell you!" she shrieked angrily.

The child, frightenend by its mother's anger, began crying monotonously. She tried to calm its fright, but then wilted: "All right, Father. Will you drive me to town?"

"You shouldn't be going at all."