A Book o' Nine Tales Part 34

"Isn't it a queer notion to have a woman for a s.e.xton?" Farnsworth asked, as they wended along.

"Well, yes," the captain returned reflectively. "Yes, it is sort of curious. Folks mostly speaks of it that comes here. It is curious, if ye look at it that way. But it all come about as natural as a barnacle on a keel. Old s.e.xton Grimwet kept getting considerable feeble, and Dele she took to helping him with his work. She was sort of cut off from folks, as ye may say, owing to having a baby and no father to show for it, and she naturally took to heaving anchor alone, or leastways along with the old man. And when the old man was took down with a languishment, she turned to and did all his work for him,--having gradually worked into it, as you may say."

The cap'n paused to recover from his astonishment at having been betrayed into so long a speech; but, as the stranger had the air of expecting him to continue, he presently went on again:

"There was them that wanted her turned out when old Grimwet died. Some said a woman of that character hadn't ought to have no connection with the church, even to digging its graves. But Parson Eaton he was good for 'em--I've always noticed that when these pious men gets their regular mad up they most generally have things their own way; and he preached 'em a sermon about the Samaritan woman, and Mary Magdalene, and a lot more of them disreputable Scripture women-folks, and, though he never mentioned Dele by name, they all knew what he was driving at, and they wilted. 'Twas a pitiful sight to see the girl a-digging her own father's grave up there. Me and Tom Tobey and Zenas Faston took hold and finished it for her."

They moved on in silence a moment or two. Farnsworth's gaze was fixed upon the darkening bay, and no longer interrogated his companion; but the latter soon again took up his narrative:--

"'Twas well the parson stood up for Dele, too; women-folks is so cussed hard on each other. They wouldn't ha' let the girl live, I believe. I always were of the notion there warn't no harm in Dele. Some ---- city chap got the better of her. She never was over-smart, but she was awful pretty; and I never believed there was any harm in her. At any rate, she digs a grave as well as a man, and I guess them that's in 'em don't lay awake none thinking who tucked 'em in."

The house of the Widow Bemis was by this time reached, and that estimable lady, who in the summer furnished accommodations to a boarder whenever that rare blessing was to be secured in Kempton, readily undertook the charge of Mr. Farnsworth and his horse for the night.

The latter was given into the care of her daughter, for the frequent absences of the men had accustomed the damsels of Kempton to those labors which in inland villages are more frequently left to their brothers; and Farnsworth strolled off toward the wharves, leaving the widow Bemis and Cap'n Hersey in an agony of curiosity in regard to himself and his errand.

Whatever may have been Farnsworth's feelings at the discovery that the daughter of the dead s.e.xton and the woman of whom he had asked tidings of her were identical,--and they must have been both deep and strong--he had given no outward sign. But now the settling of his brows, and the disquiet apparent in his eyes betrayed his inward conflict. He strolled out upon one of the rotting wharves about which the tide lapped in mournful iteration, folded his arms upon a breast-high post, and stood gazing seaward.

The retrospect which occupied his mind was scarcely more cheerful than the gray scene which spread before his eyes. How awful are the corpses of dead sins which memory casts up, as the sea its victims! The betrayal of a woman is a ghastly thing when one looks back upon it stripped of the garlands and enchantments of pa.s.sion and temptation; and to Farnsworth, with the image fresh in his rememberance of that faded, earth-stained woman digging a grave upon the bleak hillside, the fault of his youth seemed an incredible dream which only stubborn and stinging memory converted into a possibility. A retrospect is apt to be essentially a plea for self against conscience; but in his gloomy revery Farnsworth found scant excuse for the wreck he had made of the life of Delia Grimwet. He had gone away, married, and lived honored and prosperous. He would have forgotten, had not some n.o.bility of his nature prevented. With the stubbornness of his race, he had fought long and determinedly against his conscience, but he had been forced to yield at last. The death of his wife, to whom he had been tenderly attached, had at once left him free to make such reparation as might still be possible, and had softened him as only sharp sorrow can. He had come to Kempton with the determination of finding Delia, and of doing whatever could be done, at whatever cost to himself.

He had been unprepared, however, for the woman he found. He had left a fresh, beautiful young girl; ten years had transformed her into a repulsive old woman. He had no means of adequately measuring the force of the storms of scorn and poverty and sorrow which had beaten upon Delia Grimwet in the years that had made of him the cultured, delicately nurtured man he was. What man ever appreciated the woe of the woman he betrays? Indeed, what measure has a man of the sorrow of any woman?

Farnsworth had painfully to adjust himself to a condition of affairs for which he should have been prepared, yet which took him absolutely by surprise.

He lingered upon the bleak wharf, unconsciously the object of much mildly speculative curiosity, until the twilight began to fall. Then with a shiver, no less of mind than of body, he shook off his painful abstraction, and turned his steps toward the path, once well known, which led to the house of Delia Grimwet. It seemed to him, as he paused a brief instant with his hand upon the old knocker, as if nothing here had changed in ten years. The sunlight would have shown him traces of decay, but in the gathering dusk the house seemed a pallid phantom from the past, unchanged but lifeless.

But his knock at once destroyed all illusions, since it summoned the woman who belonged not at all to that past which he remembered, but to the pitiful and too tangible present. She held her guttering candle up without a word, and, having identified him, made him, without speaking, a signal to enter.

When Farnsworth had left her in the afternoon, Delia crouched in the bottom of the grave she was digging, her first feeling being an unreasoning desire for concealment. She thought she should remain pa.s.sive if the sides of the pit collapsed and buried her. In the old days before her boy was born she had been night after night out on the old wharves, praying for courage to drown herself. After the child came, her feelings changed, and she longed only to escape and to take her son away from the scorn and the sordid life which surrounded them. Gradually she had become hardened; hers was one of those common natures to which custom and pain are opiates, mercifully dulling all sensibilities.

To-day the appearance of her betrayer had revivified all the old impressions, and for a moment seemed to transport her to the early days when her anguish was new. The keenest pangs of sorrow stabbed her afresh, and she lived again the bitter moments of her sin and shame.

Her instinct was to flee from the man whose presence meant to her only pain.

But habit is strong, and presently the fading light reminded the s.e.xton that her work was still unfinished, and that Widow Pettigrove, who was past all earthly tribulation, must have her last bed prepared, whatever the woe of the living woman who worked at it with trembling hands and a sensation as if a demon had clutched her by the throat. Yet work was not unmerciful; it brought some relief, since it served to dilute the thought which rushed dizzyingly to her brain, and by the time her toil was completed she was steadier. When she opened the door to Farnsworth she was not unlike her usual stolid self. She perceived at a glance that he had learned who she was, and she hoped in a blind, aching way, that he had not betrayed his presence to the neighbors, thus to re-awaken all the old stinging flight of bitter words.

Farnsworth followed Delia into the kitchen, without even those greetings which habit renders so involuntary that only in the most poignant moments are they disregarded. With their past between them it was not easy to break the silence. Farnsworth seated himself, and the woman stood regarding him. There was in her att.i.tude all the questioning, all the agony, of her years of suffering. Her wrongs and her sorrows gave her a dignity before which he shrank as he could not have quailed under the most withering reproaches. Whatever words he would have spoken--and no man can come deliberately to so important a crisis without formulating, even if unconsciously, the plea which his self-defence will make--were forgotten, or seemed miserably inadequate now. What were words to this woman, pallid and worn before her time with privation, anguish, and unwomanly toil? The contrast between his rich and careful dress and her coa.r.s.e garb, between his white hands and her knotted fingers, between his high-bred, pale face and her cowed, weather-beaten countenance, was too violent not to be apparent to them both,--as if they were in some strange way merely spectators looking dispa.s.sionately at this wretched meeting of those who had once been pa.s.sionate lovers.

With each moment the silence became more oppressive; yet as each moment dragged by it became more difficult to break the stillness. Only a man utterly devoid of remorse or feeling could have framed upon his tongue commonplace phrases at such a time. It seemed to Farnsworth as if he were brought to judgment before the whole universe. His throat became parched. He longed to have the candle and the flames flickering in the old fireplace go out in darkness, and take from his sight the Nemesis that confronted him.

He broke the silence at last with a cry:--

"Ah, my G.o.d, Delia! What have I done?"

She wavered as she stood, putting out her hand as if reaching for support. Then she half staggered backward into a chair.

"There is nothing I can say!" Farnsworth went on vehemently. "There is nothing I can do! I came here dreaming of making reparation; but there is no reparation I can make. There is nothing that can change the past,--nothing that will undo what I have done to you. Oh, my G.o.d! How little I dreamed it would be like this!"

"No," she said slowly, almost stupidly, "nothing can undo it."

"Why did you not tell me?" he began. "Why--"

But the words rebuked him before they were spoken. He buried his face in his hands, and again they were silent. What the woman,--this woman who had never been able to think much, even in her best days, and who now was blunted and dulled almost to stupidity,--what she felt in those bitter moments, who can tell? The man's soul was a tumult of wild regret and unavailing remorse, while she waited again for him to speak.

"But," Farnsworth said at length, a new idea seizing him, "but the--our child, Delia? The boy?"

A shuddering seized her. Unused to giving way to her emotions, she was torn by her excited feelings almost to the verge of convulsions. She clutched the arms of her chair and set her teeth together. In her incoherent attempts at thought, as she had delved among her graves, there had occurred to her the possibility that the father might sometime take his child from her. Now this fear possessed her like a physical epilepsy. Twice she tried to speak, and only emitted a gurgling sound as if strangling. He sprang toward her, but a sudden repulsion gave her self-control. She put out her hands as if to ward him off.

"Oh, my boy, my boy!" she cried, breaking out into hysterical sobs. "My boy, my boy!"

She wrung her hands, and twisted them together in fierce contortions which frightened Farnsworth; but she still would not allow him to approach her. She struggled for composure, writhing in paroxysms dreadful to see.

"Oh, my child!" she cried out, in a tone new and piercing; "no, no! not him! Oh, G.o.d! You cannot have my boy!"

Farnsworth retreated sharply.

He had not considered this. Indeed, so different was everything he found from everything he had expected, that whatever he had preconsidered was swept out of existence as irrelevant. He was confronted with a catastrophe in which it was necessary to judge unerringly and to act instantly, yet which paralyzed all his powers by its strangeness and its horror. He groped his way back to his chair and sat down, leaving the silence again unbroken save by her convulsive breathing and his deep-drawn sighs.

All at once a new sound broke in upon them, and the mother started to her feet.

"He is coming!" she gasped hoa.r.s.ely. "I sent him away; but he has come back. He could not keep away, my beautiful boy."

Her face was illumined with a love which wellnigh transfigured it. The door was opened violently, and the boy came rudely in,--a gaunt, rough whelp of a dozen summers, defiant, bold, and curious.

"I knew there was something up," the young rascal observed with much self-complacency. "I knew when you sent me off to stay all night that somebody's funeral was comin' off, and I was bound I'd be here to see it."

Neither the mother nor the father returned any answer. Ordinary feelings were so absolutely swept away that the woman did not even remember that she should have attempted to quiet and to excuse the intruder. Even the maternal pride which would usually have been troubled by the impression the child's rudeness must make upon her guest was overwhelmed by the greater emotion which possessed her whole being.

Farnsworth had never been more keenly alive in every fibre of his being than at this moment. All his family pride, his refined tastes, his delicate nature, revolted from a kinship with the ugly, uncouth child who stood grinning maliciously upon his guilty parents. His impulse, almost too strong to be resisted, was to turn back and hide himself again in the world from which he had come,--to leave this woman and her loutish child in the quiet and obscurity in which he had found them.

But he was n.o.bler than his impulses and had paid already too dearly for rashness; the claim of a son upon the father who has brought him into the world grasped his sense of justice like a hand of steel.

He rose to his feet firm and determined.

"Go away now," he said to the boy quietly, but in a voice which even the urchin felt admitted of no disobedience. "I wish to talk with your mother. I will see you to-morrow."

"Yes, Farnsworth," the mother said pleadingly. "Go to bed now. I will come to you before long. That's a good boy."

The boy slowly and unwillingly withdrew, his reluctance showing how rare obedience was to him, and the parents were once more alone.

"You have given him my name," were Farnsworth's first words, as the door closed behind his son.

"It was father who did that. He said he should remember to curse you every time the name was spoken."

"And you?" the other asked, almost with a shudder.

"I did not care. Cursing could not change things. Only I would not let him do it before the boy. I didn't want him to know what sort of a father he had."

In the midst of his self-abas.e.m.e.nt some hidden fibre of resentment and wounded vanity tingled at her words; but he would not heed it.

"I am not so wholly bad, Delia," he said in a moment. "I came back to marry you. It will not change or mend the past; but it is the best I can do now."

"It is no use to talk of that," she returned wearily; "you and I are done with each other. Even I can see that."

She was spent with the violence of her emotions, and only longed to have Farnsworth leave her. She was keenly sensitive now of the nicety of his attire, the contrast between him and her meagre surroundings. The shamefacedness of the poor overwhelmed her. She rose with uneven steps and trembling hands, and began to put things to rights a little. She snuffed the ill-conditioned candle, and trimmed the fire, whose drift-wood sent out tongues of colored flame. She set back into their usual gaunt and vulgar order the chairs which had been disturbed.