87th Precinct - The Frumious Bandersnatch Part 12

aWho does?a aThis rapist.a aYou know,a Ollie said, asometimes I donat know what the f.u.c.k youare talking about.a Parker explained that on Sat.u.r.day night, just as the new shift was coming on at eleven-forty, he answered a phone call from this captain in Harbor Patrol who asked to talk to the detective on dutya aSo like a jacka.s.s, I handed the phone to Carella who was just walking in, and gave away the biggest case weave had all year.a aA rape case? Thatas big in the Eight-Seven? In the Eight-Eight, we get ten, twelve rape cases every ten, twelve minutes.a aAkidnapping! a Parker said. aOf a G.o.dd.a.m.n rock star! Itas been all over television. Donat you watch television? They been playing the tape every ten minutes. Itas getting more plays than the attack on the World Trade Center.a aI saw it, I saw it,a Ollie said. aAh,a he said and spread his hands wide in greeting. The waiter had just arrived with their appetizers.

aWhat happened,a Parker said, helping himself to the puffed shrimp, awas this roving reporter from Channel Four was there to tape this girl doing a song from her alb.u.mayou want some of these?a aThanks,a Ollie said. He was shoveling chicken fingers and dumplings onto his plate.

aAnd what should happen but these two black dudesaa aBig surprise,a Ollie said.

aacome marching in and grab the girl. Itas the biggest thing hit this city since that f.u.c.kin councilman got shot. And like a jerk I handed it to Carella on a silver platter.a aWell, you couldnata known,a Ollie said. aThe Harbor Patrol, it coulda been a jumper.a aExactly what I thought.a aSure, the Harbor Patrol. What else could it be?a aOr some kinda boating accident.a aRight, a boating accident.a Now that food was on the table, he was even less interested in Parkeras rape or kidnapping or whatever it was. When food was on the table, Ollie was hardly ever interested in anything else. Which was why it still surprised him that head been so interested in Patricia Gomez this past Sat.u.r.day night when, after all, food had been on the table then, too. By coincidence, he supposed, Parker chose that moment to ask, aWhatad you do this weekend?a aHow do you like this food, huh?a Ollie said, gnawing on a spare rib. aIs it something, or what?a aTerrific,a Parker said. aSo whatad you do this weekend?a aI went out Sat.u.r.day night.a aWheread you go?a aBilly Barnacles.a aNo kidding?a Parker said. aThey got a band there, donat they?a aYeah, the River Rats.a aSo whatad you do, you went there with a girl?a aNo, I went out dancin all by myself,a Ollie said.

aHey,thatas right!a Parker said, pointing a spare rib at him. aThat little spic uniform up your precinct!a He was referring to Patricia Gomez, Ollie figured.

aThat was Sat.u.r.day night, huh?a aYeah.a aSure, I remember you telling me,a Parker said, and looked sternly across the table at him. aYou went out with her after all, huh? Even though I warned you.a aYeah, I went out with her.a aI lived with a Spanish girl for six months,a Parker said. aIn the end, she cut off my d.i.c.k for a nickel and sold it to acuchi frito joint.a aI guess you mean that figuratively,a Ollie said, using a literary term he didnat expect Parker to understand.

aI mean it however you wish to take it,a Parker said, sounding offended. aYou want to go out with Spanish girls, then you better go hide yourcojones in the olive jar.a aAnyway, Patricia ainat Spanish, sheas Puerto Rican.a aWhat do you think Iam talking about? What are Puerto Ricans if not Spanish? Where do you think the term aHispanica comes from, if not Spanish? This girl I lived with, her name was Catalina Herrera, they called her Cathy, all her spic friends. They all sound so f.u.c.kinAmerican nowadays, you sometimes forget they came from some shack on the side of a hill in Mayagez. I met her when we were chasing the Graffiti Killer, you remember that case? Man, he was up to all kinds of mischief, killed four f.u.c.kin people before we got him. Her son was the first victim, a bona fide wall-writer. Cathy was divorced from some guy went back to live in Santo Domingo. Anyway, to make a long story short, one thing led to another, and this and that, and eventually we started living together.a aSo what happened?a Ollie asked. aDo you wear a prosthesis now?a Parker didnat know what a prosthesis was. He didnat laugh. Ollie was laughing at his own joke, though.

aWhatas so f.u.c.kin funny?a Parker asked. aWhat happened was we had this big drug bust set up for a Tuesday night, and I happened to mention this to Cathy while we were in bed the night before, little pillow talk, you know? She listened very carefully, they have this way of listening, Spanish girls, but who suspects anything, am I right? I mean, weareliving together, weare like man and wife. Okay, Tuesday night rolls around, we put on the vests, we break out the a.s.sault rifles, weare six guys strong who go out to raid this posse run by a guy we know only asEl Zorro Canoso, which means aThe Gray Foxa in case your girlfriend ainat teaching you too much Spanish these daysaa aShe ainat my girlfriend,a Ollie said. aWe only went out once togethaa aEl Zorro Canoso.Twenty-four years old, heas got a full head of gray hair already, probably because heas worried about being sent upstate for a long time. But guess what? n.o.bodyas home. We go in with a warrant, but n.o.bodyas there. The place is empty.El Zorro Canoso has flown El Coopo. Next thing I know, Cathy comes around wearing a silk f.u.c.k-Me dress she bought at Junoas on Jeff Av, and these high-heeled wh.o.r.e shoes that are all straps, I ask her did somebody die and leave her a fortune? She tells me she hit the numbers, which was bulls.h.i.t because I knew she never played the numbers. What it turns outaa aShe ratted out your bust,a Ollie said.

aHowad you guess? The morning after I told her about it, Tuesday morning this is, the day of the bust this is, she runs to her former husbandas cousin, whose name happens to be Bernardo Herrera, who is guess who?a aZorro.a aBingo, you shoulda been a detective. Her ex-hubbyas f.u.c.kin cousin isEl Zorro Canoso, who runs the posse weare about to bust! He thanks her for being such a good relative, and then he lays five bills on her, which is what I meant when I said sheall cut off your d.i.c.k for a nickel and sell it to acuchi frito joint.a aWell, Patricia didnat cut off my d.i.c.k,a Ollie said. aFor a nickel or however much. In fact, she doesnat evenlike cuchi frito. a aYouare missing my point, friend. And whatas this on the platter here? It looks like somebody cut off thechefas d.i.c.k.a aThatas the Szechuan beef.a aIt looks like it.a The men were silent for several moments, eating.

aSo did you get in?a Parker asked.

aCome on, what kind of talk is that?a aIam curious,a Parker said, and lowered his voice, and leaned across the table, and said, aWell, didja?a aCome on, Andy,a Ollie said, and sort of jerked his head over his shoulder and slitted his eyes at the booth behind him.

an.o.body can hear us,a Parker said.

aWe better hurry here,a Ollie said. aThe judge said one-thirty, didnat he?a Parker looked at him.

aWhat?a Ollie said.

Parker kept looking at him.

aNothing,a he said at last, and went back to his lunch.

FOR THE FIRST TIMEin fifteen years, Carella wanted to smoke a cigarette.

Anything but sitting here on his hands.

The four men whoad been sent to find Rosalita Guadajillo were back.

aLadyas clean as a whistle,a Forbes reported. aShe runs a little jewelry boutique on Mason Avenue, up there inLa Perlita, sells mostly cheap c.r.a.p from third-world countries. She went to call her kids last night around ten-thirty, fished in her handbag, no cell phone. Somebody stole it.a aOur man,a Corcoran said, nodding.

aSmart,a Endicott said.

aHe knew wead be tracing the callaa aEven if he made it from a mobileaa aSo he made it from somebodyelseas phoneaa aWhich is now undoubtedly at the bottom of the river,a Endicott concluded.

aWhich means all your equipment here is worthless,a Loomis said, waving his hand at the gear theyad set up all over the room.

aNot entirely,a Endicott said. aWhen he calls againaa aIfhe calls again,a Loomis said.

aOh, heall call,a Corcoran said. aThe name of the game is money. Until he gets his money, heall keep calling.a aAnd when he calls, weall be taping it,a Endicott said. aVoice prints are admissible evidence. We take this guy to trialaa aI donat care about taking him to trial,a Loomis said. aI already told you that. All I want is Tamar back.a aOh, weall get her back, all right,a Corcoran a.s.sured him.

aI donat want her endangered in any way. I want to give them the money, get her back, and thatas that.a aOr vice versa,a Endicott said.

Loomis looked at him.

aSometimes itas better to get the victim backfirst, a Endicott explained.

aOr simultaneously,a Corcoran said.

aOr at least get proof of life,a Endicott said.

aProof that sheas still alive,a Corcoran explained. aAn ear, or a finger, oraa Barney Loomis went suddenly pale.

Carella wondered what the h.e.l.l he was doing here.

YEARS AGOin the police department, long before head joined the force, a commonly accepted axiom was that if you werenat Irish, youad never acop the gold.a In this case, acopa wasnat an abbreviation of acopper,a which might have made for some nice metallurgical imagery. Instead, acopa meant to achieve or to obtain, or more specifically to bepromoted from a uniformed officer to a detective carrying a gold shield. In this city, so rare was the occurrence of anyonenot Irish copping the gold, that whenever it did happen to an outsider, the surprised recipient (regardless of his religious beliefs) was automatically asked aWhoas your rabbi?a Eventually, as more and more police officers of non-Irish descent began making detective, aWhoas your rabbi?a became a standard joke. Indeed, over the syears, the dogma gradually changed to read, aIf you ainat Irish, youall never makecaptain, a but even that bromide fell into disuse when two black police commissioners were appointed in succession.

Now, in this room full of WASPsa"or such was Carellaas perception even though Corcoran was Irish-Catholic and Feingold was Jewish and Jones was blacka"he suddenly felt like a little Wop mutt who had no right p.i.s.sing with the big pedigreed dogs.

Detective Lieutenant Charles Farley Corcoran and Detective/ Second Grade Stephen Louis Carella had been graduated from the Academy on the very same day. Corcoran had been a.s.signed to the Thirtieth, a silk-stocking precinct. Carella had begun walking a beat in the Eight-Seven, a precinct uptown in the a.s.shole of creation.

His first day on the job, uniform all spanking new, shoes polished to a high l.u.s.ter, silver shield shining on his chest, thirty-eight S&Wa"the mandated weapon back thena"hanging in a holster on his right hip, a woman came running out of a building wearing only panties and a bra and screaming at the top of her lungs, he figured somebody was about to rape her. Two minutes later, a guy in his undershorts and a tank top undershirt came running out after her, also yelling b.l.o.o.d.y murder, which now seemed to be what this was about to turn into. Because right behind him was asecond woman, fully dressed this time, and carrying in her hands what later turned out to be an ax shead taken from the fire-alarm box on the third floor of the building. The second woman was yelling ab.u.ms!a as she came running down the steps of the front stoop, ab.u.ms! b.u.ms!a It took Carella, bright rookie that he was, maybe thirty seconds to realize she was referring to the half-naked man and woman whoad preceded her out of the building, and another thirty seconds to calculate that the lady with the ax had caught them in bed together.

Stepping into her path, holding up his hand like a traffic cop, which frankly he wished he was in that moment, he said, aAll right, lady, letas hold it right there.a The only thing the lady was holding right there was the ax.

Wild-eyed, she shoved past Carellaa Actuallyshoved past him, pushing him out of her way as if he were some sort of inanimate obstacle keeping her from exacting justice upon the two barefoot b.u.ms in their skivvies, who were now running around the corner, out of sight.

While Carella recovered his balance, he tried to remember the rules and regulations that governed when it was permissible for him to draw his gun and fire it. He was certain that a.s.saulting a police officer qualified. He was also certain that carrying a dangerous weapon was another good reason to bring the piece into play. In fact, back then there werenat too many restrictions on when a cop could unholster and/or discharge his weapon. But however justified he may have felt, he was pretty positive he wouldnat get any medals for shooting a fat lady in the backa"her back was to him now as she ran for the corner. So he yelled into the suddenly sweaty summertime air, aPolice! Stop or Iall shoot!,a drawing his gun, and hoping against hope that he wouldnat have to shoot anybody his first day on the job.

The woman didnat stop, but neither did he have to shoot her because in that moment she ran around the corner, and by the time he himself reached the corner, and turned it out of breath, all three of them were gone, the two adulterersa"if thatas what they werea"in their scanties, and the fat lady with the ax. A disappearing act! Carella still had his gun in his hand. He felt like a jacka.s.s.

aWheread they go?a he asked a kid on a bicycle.

aWheread who go?a the kid asked.

Totally vanished.

He went back to the building, where a sizable crowd had gathered, and began asking questions the way he guessed he was supposed to, but all he could learn from anybody was that the woman probably thought there was a fire, which is why she was using an ax to help those people in their underwear get out of the building.

He learned something that first day on the job.

In this precinct, n.o.body knew anything.

In this precinct, the cop on the beat was the enemy.

When he got home that night and told his mother what had happened his first day on the job, they both had a good laugh over it. The next day, things werenat quite as funny.

The next day a patrolman hoping to cash his paycheck at a bank not too far froma The telephone rang.

It was precisely three oaclock.

ENDICOTTsignaled for Loomis to pick up.

ah.e.l.lo?a aMr. Loomis?a aYes?a aHave you got the money?a aYes,a Loomis said.

aHundred-dollar bills? Unmarked?a aYes.a aTheyad better be. What kind of car do you drive?a aWhat?a aWhat kind ofa?a aThe company provides a car and driver. Itas a Lincoln Townaa aCan you drive it yourself?a aYes?a aIs there a phone in it?a aYes?a aDo you know the number?a aNot offhand. I can get it for you.a aGet it. Iall call back in five minutes.a aWait!a Loomis shouted.

But he was already gone.

aCell phone again,a one of the agents manning the computers said. aSprint. Theyare checking the number now.a aOne tower got him, and out,a another agent said.

aSomeplace in Calmas Point.a aHe knows what heas doing.a aHereas the number now,a the first agent said, and went to the printer. Reading from the sheet of paper as it reeled out, he said, aRandall Carter, Jr. 421 Pastoral Wayaover the river in the nextstate! a he said, sounding surprised.

aAnother stolen phone,a Endicott said.

aProbably has a dozen of them.a aHeall use a different one each time he calls, wait and see,a Corcoran said, nodding sagely.

Everyone else nodded, too.

THE PHONErang some six minutes later.

Endicott nodded.

Loomis picked up.

ah.e.l.lo?a aHave you got that number?a aYes.a aGive it to me. Read it slowly.a Loomis read the number to him.

aIs this it?a the caller asked, and read the number back to him.

aYes, thatas it exactly.a aFirst toweras on him.a aOkay, this is what I want you to do. You say youave got the money?a aYes.a aAre there any policemen there with you?a Loomis didnat know what to answer. He looked first at Endicott and then at Forbes. Both men shook their heads.

aNo,a Loomis said.

aYouare lying, but thatas okay. I want you to put the money in a dispatch case, have you got that?a aYes,a Loomis said.

aThen pick one of the detectives sitting there with youaa aThere are no detectives here with me,a Loomis said.

aOf course not. Find one, anyway, do you think you can manage that, Mr. Loomis?a Little bit of b.i.t.c.hy sarcasm there.

Loomis ignored it.

aYes, I think I can find a detective,a he said.

aWell, good. When you find one, I want you to give him the case with the money in it. For safekeeping. To make sure no bad guys try to grab it before itas in our hands. Have you got that?a aYes?a Loomis was looking puzzled now. So were all the people on The Squad. Usually, they told you not to inform the police or the vic would die. Either these guys were complete amateurs or theyad done this a hundred times before and had come up with a new wrinkle. Not having access to the ear phones, Carella was puzzled, too, but only because he didnat know what the h.e.l.l was going on.

aSecond toweras on him. Heas in a moving vehicle.a aAt three-thirty sharpathat should give you enough time to find a dispatch case and a cop, shouldnat it, Mr. Loomis?a More sarcasm.

Again, Loomis ignored it.

aYes, Iam sure thatas enough time,a he said.

aAt three-thirty sharp, then, I want you and the cop and the case to go down to the limo,a the caller said. aAnd I want you to drive the limo out of the garage and onto the River Highway heading toward the Hamilton Bridge. Have you got that, too?a aYes.a aRepeat it.a aRiver Highway to the Hamilton Bridge.a aWhoas with you in the car?a aA detective.a aAndthe case. Donat forget the case with the money.a aSecond toweras on him.a aCingular wireless this time. Getting the number now.a aCome on, come on,a Endicott said.

aYoudrive, Mr. Loomis. The cop rides shotgun. Tell him to wear a holstered weapon. Have you got all that?a aYes.a aGood. Three-thirty sharp. Iall call you again in the car at a quarter to four. Any questions so far?a aYes. When will we get Tama?a aAll in good time. But listen to this, Mr. Loomis, and whoever else is listening.a Endicott nodded sourly.

aThere are three of us. Two of us will be picking up the cash, while our friend stays with the girl. If there is any sign of police activity at the site, the girl gets killed. If anyone tries to follow us from the site, the girl gets killed. If you try to arrest us after we pick up the cash, the girl gets killed. The girl is our hole card, do you understand? Weare showing you the hole card now, so you wonat try to bet her life on a losing hand. Tell me you understand everything. Especially about the girl getting killed if there are any tricks.a aYes, I understand everything,a Loomis said.

aKeep him on.a aEspecially about the girl getting killed.a aEspecially about Tamar getting killed.a aKeep him on!a aGood,a the caller said, and hung up abruptly.

ad.a.m.n it, we were almost there.a aWhy do you suppose he wants a cop tagging along?a Forbes asked.

aPeculiar, isnat it?a Endicott said.

aLast thing he should want is a cop.a aAnarmed cop, no less.a aYou want this number?a one of the agents asked. aItas a lady in Riverhead.a aMove on it,a Corcoran told Feingold. aBut itall be another stolen phone, wait and see.a aHeas so d.a.m.n sure of himself,a Endicott said.

aWell, heas got the girl,a Corcoran said, ayou heard him. Sheas his hole card.a He hesitated only a moment, and then said, aIall go with you, Mr. Loomis,a and was actually putting on his jacket when Loomis said, aNo.a They all turned to look at him.

aI want Detective Carella,a he said.

9.

THE CELL PHONEin the car rang at precisely three-forty-five, just as Barney Loomis was driving past the Buford Park exit on the River Harb Highway.

Carella picked up the phone, hit the SEND b.u.t.ton.

ah.e.l.lo?a he said.

aWhoas this?a Avery asked.

aDetective Carella,a he said.

aWhatas your first name, Detective?a aSteve.a aWould you mind if I called you aStevea?a aNot at all.a aI have trouble with Italian names, you see.a And f.u.c.k you, too, Carella thought.

aSteve, is Mr. Loomis driving?a aYes, sir.a aIs there anyone else in the car with you?a aNo, sir.a aIs this the only phone in the car?a aYes, sir.a This was a lie. Carella had another cell phone in the side pocket on the right side of his windbreaker.

aIs it portable?a aSir?a aCan it be taken out of the car?a aOh. Yes, sir, it can.a aLet me talk to Mr. Loomis.a Carella handed the phone to him.

ah.e.l.lo?a Loomis said.

aMr. Loomis, I want you to drive to Exit 17. That should take you ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Make a right turn at the top of the ramp. Youall see a parking area for people who are sharing rides. Park there and wait. Iall call again at four oaclock.a There was a click on the line.

Loomis put down the phone.